I hate Twilight with all my being. I couldn't resist dissing it! Review. I like reviews.

Book One

"I'm obsessed with you Edward."
"I can't be with you."
"But I love you!"
"Love you too."
"Yay!"

Book Two
"I lied. I hate you. Bye"
*becomes suicidal*
"I'm back."
"Yay!"
"Hey Bella, sorry for making you all suicidal and catatonic and all, but I'm gonna blackmail you into marrying me or I'll leave you."
"Yay!"

Book Three
"You cheated on me with a dog!"
"Don't worry I love you... it only took me three books to decide that!"
"Oh. That's good."
"Yay!"
"Hey, cool, Jacob ran away!"
"Sadness."
"Just joking honey, he's pretty cool *cough*"

Book Four
"OMG We're finally getting married! But I'm ugly."
"No you're not *makes out with indecently*"
"Yay we're married! Now sleep with me"
"Noooo, too dangerous! .... Stuff it *impregnates* Gah I'm a monster!"
"Don't worry Eddy! I love our crazy mutant baby!"
"I'm such a monster......"
"*has baby and becomes a vampire*
"OMG DON'T DIE ... wow you're hot ... oh yeah, a dog has become a pedophile towards our daughter."
"Cool. OMG VOLTURI!"
"I'll save you!"

"No, I'm gonna use my awesome vampire skills. *saves the earth from Volturi*"
"Wow, you're actually not half bad. Sorry, I didn't notice, I was too busy being sexist."
"Yay!"
*happily ever after*
Then the book ends with them walking off to have sex....

The End.