A/N: yay! New chapter, sorry again for the wait. Thanks for sticking with this story , I love my loyal reviewers and the story is coming to an end very soon, I'm thinking only 25 chapters, so it's coming soon. Keep the reviews coming! Thanks!

Disclaimer: One direct line from Twilight the book and the movie Is stolen. 'the great thing about Charlie, he doesn't hover.'

I was silent all the way down to La Push in the police cruiser. I couldn't believe any of this was happening. Jacob was hurt and it was all my fault. I didn't even know what had happened yet, but I knew that it was my fault. No matter what it was. When we pulled up to Jake's house, I thought seriously about staying in the car. Could I see him like that? Could I bare seeing him lying there sick and in pain? Then I realized that it didn't matter if I could handle it or not. I had to see him. I had to be there for him. I had to be his best friend. I moved like a zombie, following Charlie into the house. It was like a horror movie. Jacob lay on the couch, to the naked eye he looked fine, but if you drew any closer you would see the subtle red marks all over his body, the scratches, his skin was pale if that was even possible. He looked different than I had ever seen him and it made my eyes sting with tears. I knelt by his side, holding his hand tight, wanting so badly to say everything in that light squeeze of my hand, but I couldn't manage it. He turned to face me, his eyes lighting up just at the sight of me and a sick guilt filled my stomach.

He opened his mouth to speak but was stopped by a coughing fit.

"This is stupid, I know." He finally managed to say. "Something you would do." I frowned, confused. I still didn't know what had happened. I didn't know anything, but I couldn't find my voice to ask.

He closed his eyes for a long time and I thought he'd fallen asleep, but then he'd opened them again and started speaking.

"I tried to kill myself."

The words filled me with a sick dread. That did sound like something I would do. Not Jacob. I suddenly found myself hot with anger.

"How dare you!?" I screamed, not caring that he was hurt or that Charlie and Billy were nearby. "How dare you try and leave me? How dare you DO that to me! Jacob Black, how dare you even think about leaving me when you know I've been through hell! Jacob Black, don't you EVER do that again. Do you hear me?"

Jacob stared at me for a long time and then shook his head, as if he hadn't heard anything that I'd said.

"Leah and I. We were down at the beach. I don't even know where she got it…but she had alcohol…and lots of it. She was feeling up to sharing. So we drank, and we talked, and we drank some more, she left…then I guess I passed out. Tide came. Swept me up. I would've drowned."

I folded my arms over my chest, letting out a sigh. "That sounds like an accident. Although you were an idiot for drinking."

Jacob shook his head. "No accident. I wanted to drown. I woke up and I was in the water…and I remember thinking…Why move? I'm perfectly content here….and a few more moments and I'll cease to exist…"

I didn't know why, or how it happened but all I knew was that all too quickly I was hauling off and slapping him hard in the face as tears rolled down my cheeks.

"I would miss you. I would cry everyday and I would miss you. I care about you. You're important to me. You're important to my life. I can't…" I took a deep breath. "Jacob I was wrong before…I can't live without you…" I leaned in close to him, pressing my forehead against his.

"I was so scared today." I whispered, "I thought I'd never see you again and I was so scared."

Jacob let out a soft sigh and then leaned up just slightly to kiss my forehead.

"Bella, relax. It's okay. Sam got me out in time. I'll be alright. The waters are just rough. You know that better than anyone."

I let out a sound that was between a sob and a laugh.

"I don't understand." I said after a moment or two. "You couldn't use your advanced…wolfy sense or something?" I bit down on my lip, watching his face.

Jacob grinned and then shook his head. "The wolf things been off lately, we think it's because it's sort of tied to our emotions and…mine have been…off the Richter scale lately…I'm not as strong as I should be."

I nodded, sniffing back tears. "Jacob, I'm really sorry."

"I know, Bells." Was the only reply he gave me.

After that we just sat together for a long time, holding hands, in silence. Almost an hour later, Jacob broke the silence.

"What's that?"

I looked up at him, confused. "What's what?" I said, eyebrow raising.

"That. Around your neck." He said and my stomach dropped. I looked down at the accusing ring and bit my lip.

"It's…nothing…it's…" I let out an annoyed sigh. "It's just a ring."

Jacob stared at it for a long time and then his eyes moved to my face, surveying it.

"An engagement ring?"

I chewed on my lip, sure that it was going to bleed soon. I nodded.

"Something like that, I suppose."

Jacob was silent again for a long period of time and then very quietly he asked,

"So, why's it around your neck?"

I blinked, looking back down at it. "I don't know…I didn't want Charlie to suspect anything and…um…I get…sort of…freaked out by marriage. You know that."

Jacob let out a funny sort of noise, between a laugh and a scoff.

"Bells, if you're telling yourself that so you can sleep at night…stop." I looked up at him, locking my eyes with his as he continued.

"That ring is around your neck, because marrying him is the last thing you want to do. Bells, I can read you like a book. Just tell him no. I'm not saying this so I can have you back. I'm saying this so that you don't commit yourself to a life of misery. Bella…don't marry him."

That was all it took for the doubt to start creeping in. Charlie and I ate dinner with Billy and Jake, although Jake had soup while the rest of us ate spaghetti and then Charlie and I were putting our coats on to head home. I promised Jake I'd come back to see him soon and then were off in the car. I didn't speak to Charlie and he didn't pry, when he got home and I went straight upstairs and he didn't bother to ask what was wrong or what Jake and I had talked about and I was thankful. The best thing about Charlie, he doesn't hover.

Edward was sitting on my bed just as I knew he would be. I watched him for a minute. He looked perfectly normal, happy even, and that squeezed at my heart a little, but I was already unhooking the chain around my neck and I wasn't stopping now.

I walked over to the bed, taking his hand for a few moments before placing the ring along with the chain in the palm of his hand and closing his hand around it.

"I can't." I whispered.

He stared down at his closed fist for a long while, and then he looked up at me, shaking his head just slightly.

"You went to see Jacob." He said in a flat tone.

I let out a scoff, shaking my head. "Don't get all upset. He tried to kill himself, I was just being a friend."

He was quiet for a long time and then he let out a sigh. "I'm not angry. I'm not upset. I'm not anything actually…except confused."

I looked at him, shaking my head. "About what?"

He frowned, for a moment and then titled his head to look at me. "Jacob was in trouble. Hurt. Okay. Are you aware that I had absolutely no idea where you'd gone? No way to see if you were alright? I had no idea what happened, and then you come home…and I'm here…ready to give you whatever you need, comfort, to talk…whatever you need…and you hand me back my engagement ring."

He shook his head, frowning. "Bella, you could've ran in here screaming at me and it would've been less hurtful."

I let out a breath as angry tears started to flow down my cheeks. "Well apparently, that is what I do. I hurt people. It's what I'm good for." I blew out another breath even more annoyed with myself and the situation now.
"I can't marry you. I feel guilty. I feel SO guilty about everything and I just…can't do this right now. I can't have you and Jacob and deal with everything all at once. It's too much!" I finished in a yell.

"I can't have you here tonight. I'm sorry. I just…I can't."

Edward watched me for a moment and then nodded, standing up and walking over to me. He pulled the ring off of the chain and slipped it onto my finger.

"Keep it. It's yours. I don't have anyone else to give it to. Nor anyone I'd want to give it to besides you. If you decide that it means something one day, I will be more than happy to honor that. You don't want to marry me. Not now…anyway…I honor that. Am I to assume that you are still…my…girlfriend?" The word felt awkward coming out of his mouth, because we were so much more than that, obviously, but I nodded and he bowed his head before making his way to my window.

"Edward?" I said softly as he turned back around to look at me.

"I'm still yours." I whispered as he smiled at me.

"Always." Was his reply as he disappeared into the black outside of my window.

I didn't have the energy to do much else but collapse onto my bed and fall asleep.