Tale #6: "Luffy the Love Guru"

Starring: Luffy, Sanji, and Nami

Summary: Sanji and Nami have been having some troubles in their relationship recently and neither one know what to do about it. So Luffy tells it like it is.

Note: This story obviously includes SaNa. If you don't like the pairing, you should still be able to read the story and enjoy the main point of it. If you DO like the pairing (like me! XP) then you should very much enjoy this as well!

Basically, I'm saying that both SaNa lovers and haters will enjoy the main point of this story.

And don't worry about the characters being OOC because of the pairing. I would NEVER do that to any anime. Especially One Piece. (Plus, I just hate OOC-ness with a fiery passion) What I'm saying is that Sanji and Nami will still be in character, even though they're a couple. So worry yourselves not!

Anyway, this was a little idea I've had in my head for quite a while now. I wanted to make a story where a couple was having a bad time in a relationship, and then gets advice from someone who usually seems totally CLUELESS in terms of love. And good advice at that. One Piece was definitely the perfect guinea pig for that idea. XD

Enjoy!

………………………………………………………………………………………………

A sigh, "Sorry Sanji-kun; not right now."

A slump of shoulders, "But why, Nami-san? Please, tell me."

A gentle hand on his shoulder, "Sanji-kun, it's difficult to say…"

A sincere hand on hers, "Nami-san, you know you can talk to me about anything."

Another sigh, "I just need time."

A release of hands, a pivot, a clicking of heels, a closing door. And one last long and drawn-out sigh.

It was like this almost every day.

Sanji leaned against the kitchen counter, his fingers gripping the handle to the oven door tightly. What was going on? Why did all of these complications have to be going on now? He let some smoke escape from his mouth in an irritated (yet not, because he could never be actually irritated with Nami-swan) breath and took to staring at his polished black shoes.

Things had been going really well. He and Nami had been together for almost half a year now, and it had been the best time of his life. He was never happier than when he was around her, and he had thought that she felt the same way. But…

She kept on saying no.

It wasn't anything bad, mind you. It wasn't like he was asking her to sleep with him. HEAVENS, no. Sanji would never do that and risk ruining the entire relationship. (When things got farther along, he would definitely put it into consideration) But it was very rude, he thought, to ask a lady to make love to you when you weren't even a serious couple.

But he wanted them to be a serious couple. He wanted to seize this opportunity, this one chance he had to be with one of the most beautiful people in the entire world. He sometimes still didn't believe that Nami actually loved him too. But if she did really love him like she said she did…

Why did she say no to his request every time??

Why was she so reluctant to go into a deeper relationship with him? He was extremely loyal to her, attended to her every need, did anything she asked, and bought her gifts just about every time they landed on an island with stores. So why?

She had always been appreciative and understanding with his feelings. She never even got jealous when he flirted or looked at other girls, because she knew that it was just the way she was and she loved him that way… So why?

Sanji sighed again and leaned all of his weight against the oven door, almost sliding down to his backside. Even being the romance-savvy person that he was, the cook could not figure out for the life of him what was wrong. He doubted if he ever would…

Suddenly the kitchen's door opened again, and Sanji looked up just as Luffy, Zoro, and Usopp filed inside, the latter greeting him and then stopping short at his forlorn expression. They quietly continued to the table in the center, sitting down at their usual dinner spots.

Sanji had almost forgotten about dinner… He mentally kicked himself as he glanced back at the beginnings of the meal he had begun to make before Nami had walked in. She had always distracted him, but never from cooking. He guessed it was a sign that things were not looking up for him.

The three men sitting at the table could probably tell too.

"… Said no again, huh?" Zoro ventured calmly, leaning over the table and resting his head in a palm. Sanji's fist clenched around the oven door. He snarled:

"Shut up," His tone lacked the ferocity he'd intended.

"… Jeez, I'm sorry Sanji. Must be hard," Usopp offered semi-nervously, rubbing the back of his head and not wanting to be subject to the cook's wrath. He was already violent enough in a good mood. If he was in a bad mood, well…

When Sanji was in a bad mood, the entire world (savor all the pretty women) had to pay for it.

Luffy, being the sensitive guy that he was, decided to tell it like he saw it, "Man, you guys have been fighting a lot lately!"

Usopp's head darted over to Luffy, "Baka! Who do you think you'll be helping by saying things like that??"

Luffy just blinked in confusion, "Well they have been."

Nami, who had momentarily retreated to the women's quarters, decided to leave when the antsy feeling she had wouldn't go away. Robin had asked if she wanted to talk about it, but that didn't sound like the best thing to her.

Hesitantly, she made her way up the Merry's stairs, heading back towards the kitchen. Truthfully, she felt guilty… She loved Sanji very much, and wished that she could say yes to his offer, but…

Nami stopped a foot or so away from the door and looked down at the deck with a frown on her face, "It's just… Too sudden," She thought, "Too soon for me. And he has to understand that…" She sighed again, not understanding why he didn't.

She swallowed a lump in her throat and began to turn around and go back down the stairs when she heard Sanji's voice come from the kitchen:

"We're not fighting," He said defensively, "We just… I dunno… I guess we just aren't seeing eye to eye on a few things…"

Suddenly intrigued, Nami crouched down, leaning against the outside kitchen wall and leaning her head back so that she could hear better. Zoro's voice drifted in next:

"So, what have you done about it?" He acted like it was so simple.

Sanji scoffed, finally taking his hands off the oven handle and crossing his arms, "We can't just fix it, Marimo. It's not that easy."

"Well, it sound to me that you guys are making it much harder than it should be," Luffy said nonchalantly from his position on the bench, legs crossed.

Everyone in the room suddenly looked at him with scrutinizing gazes, "… Excuse me?" Sanji managed to get out, being the only one in the room to voice their singular thought.

"Just what I said," The Captain continued, "You two have some differences that you need to settle, and it could be really simple if you thought about it."

Everyone sat in shock. Was Luffy using… Bigger words than he normally did? And how did he know what Sanji and Nami's 'dispute' was about?? "How did you-" Usopp began.

Luffy looked at him like it was obvious, "Sanji and Nami are my Nakama," Plain and simple. He continued, looking back at him dumbfounded cook, "You two really need to stop and think about these problems. Sanji, you're really devoted, but you almost go overboard sometimes."

"… HUH?" Sanji managed, his mouth dropping open. What in the hell was going on?!

"You're always buying Nami presents, making her things, talking to her…" Luffy shrugged, "It's not a bad thing at all, but she may feel a little smothered. You're constantly around her, and I know she loves you, but too much of one person can be a bad thing in a relationship."

Sanji's mouth suddenly snapped shut, and he looked at his Captain with a realization. Smothered? Too much? He'd never thought about that before… Meanwhile, Nami's mouth had taken its turn in dropping open. He had hit the nail right on the head! That was exactly what she felt!

"Maybe it's not even that," Luffy said, "Maybe she just doesn't want to feel totally tied down. Having a sense of freedom is important; especially to people like Nami."

Nami's brow furrowed in confusion. How did he… How did he know all of this? It was like he was looking right into her mind! And Luffy?? Her Captain? The happy-go-lucky idiot of a boy who always seemed so awkward when it came to the opposite sex?? … Nothing was making sense…

"But, Nami needs to work on this too," This caught her attention again, "She may feel smothered, but those feelings are no good if she doesn't tell you about 'em. Avoiding talking to you like this is only going to make things go downhill faster."

Nami pulled away from the wall suddenly. She looked down at her lap, feeling the heavy weight of guilt on her shoulders. He was… Right, wasn't he? She was avoiding talking to Sanji about her feelings. If she kept on doing that, who knows what might happen?

"If you two would both work on those things some more, I don't think you'd fight as much," He shrugged innocently, smiling happily, "That's all!" Immediately his attention was drawn to dinner, "Hurry and make dinner, Sanji! I'm hungry!"

And with that, the boy was out the door, smiling and greeting Nami happily as he passed her. No suspicion at all, "Hi Nami!"

"H-Hey Luffy," The Navigator offered as calmly as she could, raising a hand briefly and then lowering it again as Luffy went running downstairs yelling for Chopper to play with him. She put her head in her hands. How did this make sense?! One second he was the 'Love Guru' and the other he was good ol' Monkey D. Luffy. She didn't understand…

What she DID understand, though, was that she needed to talk to Sanji. Because something important had just been brought to her attention by the most unlikely man on the planet.

The men in the kitchen had to wait a few moments before they allowed their mouths to close. They all looked dazed, like a deer caught in headlights, glancing at each other with confusion and unease.

"That was the most ridiculous thing I've ever seen…" Zoro said in little more than a whisper, not believing in the slightest that Luffy had just spewed all of that romantic stuff.

"W-W-What was THAT?" Usopp asked breathlessly, looking over at Sanji, who looked out of breath himself.

"That…" He addressed the two of them, "Our Captain just gave me relationship advice…" Suddenly he broke out into a determined beam and strode for the door, "The most damn fine advice I've ever gotten!"

Dinner would be made with extra meat tonight.

Author's Note:

My first SaNa-ish fic!! YAY! XP

It was fun! I'd never done something like this before, but I was really excited all the way through it! Luffy P'OWNS! Just so you know. XD

I really thought it'd be ironic if the Captain of the StrawHats were to give Sanji advice, because it would be so out of the blue, and so… Well… Unnatural! XD

Hope you all enjoyed it! :) R&R!