Chapter 2

Shpin the Bottle, Logbutton!

"Oh, sure," said Dumbledore, breaking away from Flitwick without the slightest hint of embarrassment, "the more the merrier!" He started humming to himself and rocking back and forth slightly.

Harry signaled for everybody to come in. One by one, they took their places, some making a point to avoid enemies, others sitting by a favorite teacher. Snape and Flitwick blushed when they saw Ron and Hermione. Dumbledore smiled pleasantly at everyone, and shot a few staff members warning glances. Once everybody was situated, McGonagall took out several bottles of wine and mead and some more glasses to make sure that everybody had a drink.

Dean Thomas and Cormac McClaggen shared a smirk and raised their eyebrows at each other. McGonagall? Pouring drinks for students? She had to be drunk. Oh, God, this was going to be a good time.

"Who wants to spin first?" she slurred. "Filius was last. Who's next to him? Bones!"

And so, the first spinner was Susan Bones. She spun the bottle and it landed on Ron. Ron turned dark red, and Susan flushed, unable to meet his eyes. Hermione frowned. Ignoring the titers that ran through the circle, Susan leaned across to Ron and kissed him.

To the general disbelief of everybody watching, the kiss turned more into a wrestling match, the likes of which had not been seen since the ill-fated time that Ron and Lavender Brown were a couple. Lavender, Hermione, and Snape all shot daggers at Susan as she swayed on the spot with Ron.

Dumbledore had to clear his throat after at least three deeply amusing minutes. "Mr. Weasley, Miss Bones, might I remind you that this is not Seven Minutes In Heaven?"

They broke apart, if not reluctantly, both of them flushed and embarrassed.

"Weasel's finally getting some!" Draco called, and a few Slytherins wolf –whistled, laughing crudely. Hermione tutted and grabbed Ron's arm, pulling him huffily down to sit beside her again.

"What?" he said, shocked.

She didn't look at him. She just took a deep swig of firewhisky. Harry saw her fingers curling around the air like she wanted to strangle something, and he smiled to himself.

Dean, who was sitting next to Ron, grabbed the bottle. He looked around the circle calculatingly, like he could time the spin perfectly. Ginny stiffened when his eyes landed on her, and he grinned. He flicked his wrist especially hard, and, of course, the bottle ended up pointing to the redhead. She scowled and held out her hand.

"I'm not kissing you on the lips, Dean Thomas, so don't even think about it."

Neville snorted and Dean grimaced. Blaise Zabini grinned. "Go Weasley!"

She shot him a dark look that would have made a grown man tremble. He stopped smiling.

Dean kissed the back of Ginny's hand tentatively, and she slapped his cheek and went to go sit on Harry's lap. Harry could hear her muttering something to the effect that she would never get back with Dean, and especially not because of Spin the Bottle.

He grinned and nuzzled his face into her shoulder. "Don't worry, Gin. I won't be jealous. It's just a game."

She turned around to glare at him. "Harry, if you think for a moment that I'm going to let Dean even think about –"

"Shh," Luna said dreamily. "That wasn't a very nice thing of you to do, Ginny. Dean is quite nice."

"Dean is quite a prat!"

"I heard that!" he said hotly.

"Please," Draco drawled. "May I spin now? The bottle is right next to me now, unless Potty wants a go."

For some reason, McGonagall and Snape flushed at the nickname, and Draco permitted himself a smirk before he reached across the Weaslette to the bottle. He spun it casually, and to his delight, it pointed at Luna.

Ron gaped as Luna smiled serenely and pulled Draco over to her. Their lips locked in a way that was far too practiced and familiar, and she toyed with his hair in a way that not even Pansy Parkinson dared. Pansy hissed and a few teachers averted their eyes as Draco slid his hands under Luna's skirt. Flitwick, Pomfrey, and Snape did not.

Hermione moaned and turned Harry and Ron's heads away forcefully, before hiding her own face in her hands. The kiss was even longer than Susan and Ron's, and much more intimate as well. The Slytherins all muttered to each other on their side of the circle – when the hell had Draco started fraternizing with the Ravenclaw whore?

"Since when do they like each other?" Harry hissed at Ginny. She shook her head, trying to hide a smile. Oh God. She knew something.

It seemed that they were glued together; they wrapped around each other so tightly that it looked like they would never separate. After a few minutes of clearing his throat sharply, Dumbledore conjured up a set of walls that surrounded them and dragged them off into their own private corner.

"What the bloody hell was that for?" Ron demanded.

Hermione pulled her face out of her hands and glared at him. "I might ask you the same, Ronald. Groping up Susan Bones like that."

Susan turned hot pink on the other side of the room and looked away, abashed. Pavarti patted her arm comfortingly.

"Mishter Longbottom," Professor Sprout said. "I do believe that ish your turn."

Neville looked at the bottle in front of him, his face already flushed. "Do I have to?" he mumbled.

"Longbuttocks!" Snape said groggily. "Pick up that bloody bottle and shpinitch."

"Sir?" Hermione said softly.

"Shut up Hermillany. Ish Logbutton's turn and if he doshen't shpin the damn bottle I'll pick it up and do it for him!"

Neville squeaked. As if Professor Snape weren't scary enough sober, here he was, waving his wand like a lunatic and slurring out insults. He reached out a trembling hand and spun the bottle. And turned the brightest shade of magenta that anyone had ever seen when it landed on McGonagall.

A hush fell over the circle as Logbutton and McGonagall eyed each other warily. No one had thought about what would happen if the student-teacher thing got messed up.

"SHNOG HER!" Snape yelled, waving his wand enough to make it rain all over them. "SHNOG HER LONGBUTT!"

Everyone was very quiet as thunder clapped overhead.

"Severus," Hagrid said gruffly. "Maybe that isn't the best idea. She's a teacher, he's a student… It ain't right."

"Your fashe ishn't right," Snape mumbled into his goblet, turning off the rain. "BlastEndedbubotuberssnrkahippogriff…" He slumped over where he sat, snoring.

All eyes were on Neville and McGonagall.

"It is my opinion," Dumbledore said lightly, "that the rules of the game are quite clear. Minerva, Neville, if you will…"

McGonagall muttered something about pedophiliac old men and scooted obligingly over to Neville. He screwed up his face like he was trying to do a particularly difficult spell and ghosted his lips over hers.

They broke apart very quickly, although a completely hammered McGonagall looked a bit regretful, and Hermione snatched up the bottle. She took another gulp of firewhisky and spun it randomly.

It landed on Goyle.

Goyle smiled creepily, making Hermione shudder. Harry patted her back quickly and she grimaced.

"C'mon 'Mione," Ron gurgled happily around a butterbeer. "Kiss the ape! Kiss the ape!"

The chant went around the circle, picked up by the less-sensitive among them, and Snape jolted awake to chant with them.

"This school is going to the dogs," Blaise murmured, watching Goyle crack his knuckles menacingly. Hermione whimpered and scooted over to him. He crushed her into a bear hug and mashed their lips together right as a disheveled Draco Malfoy emerged from the closet, trailed by a Luna Lovegood whose shirt was buttoned crookedly.

Draco's jaw dropped for what felt like the millionth time that night, and his hands curled into fists. Harry noticed. Malfoy must have been mad about his disciple kissing a muggleborn. Yes. That would be it.

After what seemed like an eternity to Hermione, Goyle let her go. She went back to her place as quickly as she could. Harry tried to look sympathetic, but it was no use. Everyone else was hiding giggles behind their hands, including the teachers. Hermione turned hot pink when Goyle winked at her on his way to his place. She could see him saying something to Malfoy, no doubt he was bragging about what he had just done. It helped a little (but also made it worse) when Malfoy punched him in the arm.

For a while, there was an awkward silence that was sometimes punctuated by a snicker that couldn't be held in anymore. Finally, Ron picked up the bottle and spun it. To his horror, it pointed at his least favorite person, Severus Snape.

Snape looked at the bottle, then at Ron's magenta face, then back at the bottle. Registering what it meant, Snape grabbed Ron and pulled him forward. He placed his lips tenderly on Ron's and, to every Gryffindor's horror, and every Slytherin's amusment, put his hand in Ron's hair, stroking it. And gave Ron the deepest, most embarrassing snog of the night. After a while of struggling and screaming, Ron succeeded in pulling himself away. He announced loudly that whoever said anything about this to anyone at all would be "properly punished in a way to be determined by me."

To his dismay, he saw that half the audience was rolling on the ground, laughing. Severus straightened his robes, mumbling too quietly for anyone to understand, and Harry, Hermione, Ginny, Neville, Seamus, Dean, Crabbe, Goyle, Malfoy, Susan Bones, Pavarti, Pansy Parkinson, Millicent Bullstrode, and Cormac McClaggen cried tears of laughter, piled up into one great heap on the floor, shaking with mirth.

Luna looked at them curiously.

Romilda Vane had her mouth hanging open, and a string of drool was hanging out of it.

Blaise Zabinini looked thoroughly disgusted.

Lavender Brown looked like she was going to murder someone.

Ernie McMillan, the eternally self-righteous, was looking pointedly away.

And all the teachers, who seemed to have instantly overcome their drunkenness, were staring stonily at a red-faced Severus Snape.

"I think," McGonagall said coldly, "that it is time that this night comes to an end."

"I could not agree more," Professor Flitwick said stonily.

Dumbledore seemed to be having a very hard time keeping a straight face. "Yes, I suppose. As it is almost 1:30 in the morning, I would recommend that we all head off to bed, and are mindful that final exams are tomorrow. Pip, pip." He rose to his feet unsteadily, as did all the teachers. None of the students stood.

"Oh, good heavens," Madam Pince said vexedly, pulling out her wand.

"It's quite all right, dear," Dumbledore said, looking around at the students fondly. "If they want to fail tomorrow, it's up to them."

Harry looked at Hermione, fully expecting her to spring to her feet and rush off to the Gryffindor Tower, screaming that she needed to study. It turned out that she was instead warbling "God Rest Ye Merry Hippogriffs" and dancing about with a bottle of Madam Rosmerta's finest mead.

The teachers all filed out, and a sudden silence fell over the room.

Slytherins, Gryffindors, Hufflepuffs and a Ravenclaw all looked at each other as if mortified, having realized what they'd just done. Laughingly made out with each other.

Except Hermione, who was still belting at the top of her lungs.

"Erm." Ron sat down and wiped his mouth off. "Should we all be going, then? God, that was disgusting."

"Go?" Hermione said shrilly. "Go where? Ron! Where are we going?!"

"Looks like the little Mudblood's a wine-o," Draco laughed. His Slytherin cronies laughed sycophantically.

"Dracoooo!" Hermione crooned. "Draco, don't leave me! Are you going too?"

He smirked as she staggered across the circle to him and sat in his lap. Ron's hands balled into fists. Harry noticed this, and smiled. And then frowned because Draco was wrapping his arms around Hermione's waist.

"No, pumpkin," he sneered. "I'm staying right here."

"Good!" The sarcasm was lost on her. "I know! Let's all stay here and play a game!" She grinned brightly at a group of nineteen blank, shocked faces.

"What kind of game?" Luna asked skeptically. For Luna to sound skeptical was a big deal.

"Let's play…" Hermione hummed a bit and then raised her arms in victory, smacking Malfoy in the face. "LET'S PLAY TRUTH OR DARE!"

People nodded vaguely, most of them wanting to but not really wanting to admit it. And then realized that everyone else was nodding. Everyone wanted to stay and play.

How strange.

Truth or dare. Hogwarts style.