It's been a while but here is the next lengthy installment of Ninja Camp. Things, of course, go from bad to worse. I've been out of it, so it may not be as funny, but hope you enjoy anyway!

One of the ideas in here was submitted by The Sky's Bouquet way back when, and it's finally in here! Especially enjoy that part :D

Ninja Camp 2: Electric Boogaloo

Joe's attempt was, in short, disastrous. I was expecting a dramatic fail, which came true, though I really had to bite my tongue to prevent from laughing at the sight of Joe almost eaten by a vicious crocodilian. Now, if only it had been Klaus...

After the scare Joe gave them, the campers were understandably nervous about entering the course. It was completely safe, I assured them, biting back a smirk at their credulousness. I had to hand it to Dan; he sure knew how to turn something ordinary into something potentially deadly.

I asked the million dollar question and when no one volunteered to go next after five minutes, I had to resort to volunteering one of them myself.

"Well, since no one wants to go willingly, I'll choose someone."

The group tensed as I eyed them, trying to see which one could possibly complete the course with minimal injuries.

"I'll go next," Chan offered during my scrutiny and as I was about to choose Marucho. "How about you go before me, though?"

I shrugged, happy to show off the skills I'd worked years to perfect. I strolled over to the beginning of the course, the crocodile-alligators extra feisty due to their missed meal. I tensed my leg muscles, ready to jump without a pole. I took one step back and jumped, right as Dan hollered "Good luck, Shun," breaking my concentration and causing me to land on a crocodile's face. I quickly readjusted myself, using it as a springboard and backflipping over the wall, landing on one hand behind the arrows. The tripwire went off without a hitch, a volley of arrows flying toward me. I was too fast for them, jumping over the vases and zooming through the sandbags and scythes quicker than a speeding bullet. The ring of fire also stood no chance, and I leaped through gracefully, landing on my feet lightly.

I turned to the group, smirking as they stared in awe at how freaking amazing I was at being a ninja. Dan managed to contain himself, but I could see his eyes shining brightly and his hands itching to get into action. "Wow, you slowed down a bit," he said, watching his stopwatch. "Point one second slower."

"Curses, maybe I shouldn't have eaten that extra rice ball last night."

I motioned for Chan to get on with it, standing to the side where all the campers still stared at me mouths agape. She made her way through the course with minimal exertion, and dare I say it, she was almost as good as me. Almost. I even sent out Marucho, and he performed exceptionally well for someone his size. He was too short for most of the traps to get him—he could walk under the arrows and scythes—but he managed the pole vault and jump the ring of fire with surprising agility.

I quickly grew bored of most of the campers getting through the course unscathed. Mira, Alice, Baron, Komba, Julio, and Runo all made it through alive and without so much as a scratch. I'd hoped that at least one of them would break a bone—even a minor fracture would have made me happy.

But no. Everyone had to be slow and safe the whole time. It was ridiculous.

In a moment of exasperation, I picked on someone who I knew would give me a show: Klaus. Except he didn't. He only used his butlers as shields, which of course didn't work. It was funny watching him try to fend off crocodile-alligators with them, though. Eventually, he just gave up and didn't even finish the course. I called on my backup plan, Mr. Emo himself, the one and only Ace.

"This is dumb. I don't even want to be a ninja," he complained, still sitting down.

"Nearly everyone has gone," I pointed out dryly. "Are you going to let everyone else show you up?"

Ace scoffed. "Heh, 'course not. Let me show all of you the right way to complete the course."

"Right." I said, watching closely as he stood in front of the crocodilian pit. Dan started the stop watch and shouted "Go!" Ace took off…

…around the crocodile pit and traps, cutting across the whole course until he reached the citizen he was supposed to save. Then out of the silence, Dan clapped.

"Ace, you have the fastest time ever! You beat Shun! I can't…believe it. It's amazing, it's incredible, it's—"

"Cheating," I finished, shaking my head. "You're not allowed to not do the course. That defeats the purpose."

"You only said I had to 'save the citizen.'" He mimicked in a bad imitation of my voice, air quoting the phrase. "I did just that."

Dan nodded, clapping Ace on the back. "You sure did! Shun, I think he's getting the hang of this ninja thing."

"I don't," I growled, choosing the last contestant.

It turned out to be a good thing that Julie was chosen to go last because one of the scythes chopped a piece of her hair off. She went ballistic after that, completely wrecking the entire course. The arrows were on fire, the crocodiles were rampaging, and the campers were cowering in a corner.

This might not have been such a good idea after all.

-X-

"Okay, now that we've taken care of the course and scoped out your ninja prowess, we're moving on to the use of ninja tools," I explained.

"Right-O," Dan added. "I've also used Shun's credit card to buy black suits for all of you." He proceeded to hand them out to each person, even Julie who had wanted a pink one. He whistled a happy tune as the campers oohed and aahed at the stretchy material. I gaped at the nonsense of it all, snatching the one closest to me out of Komba's hands.

"Spandex?" I asked, outraged, shaking the offensive material. "Ninjas wouldn't be caught dead in this, Dan."

"Sure they would," he laughed, stripping to his boxers and slipping one on right before my eyes. I covered my eyes instinctively, wincing at his lack of modesty. "I wear it all the time."

"Dan, they've still got a long way to go before they're qualified to become ninjas. It takes more than a spandex costume and some flashy ninja moves and a name tag that says 'Hello, I am a ninja' to become a ninja," I snapped, collecting the black suits he'd just handed out.

He grabbed the end of one suit in my hands and tugged. "No, it doesn't! That's exactly what it takes." He turned to the campers. "I also brought name tags for you all, by the way."

"I thought you wanted to teach them the right way," I argued, pulling on the suit.

He tugged a bit harder. "I thought you wanted to teach them period."

"Fine," I said, letting go of the suit and laughing as Dan stumbled backwards. "Anyone who wants to learn the correct way to be a ninja, follow me. Anyone who wants to learn the pathetic way to pretend you're a ninja follows Dan."

They looked at me for a second before trailing after Dan toward the remains of the obstacle course. I sputtered with indignation. Those fools! How did they think Dan knew how to be a ninja better than I did?

"Fine! Go with Dan. See if I care," I called after them. Dan stuck his tongue out at me and smirked, enjoying the insanity of it all.

I scoffed, looking to my one pupil, Komba. His dark eyes shined eagerly and he twitched in anticipation of the knowledge I was about to share with him. I sighed and motioned for him to follow me.

"Don't worry, Master Shun. This'll be great, just us two. We can stay up all night practicing ninja moves and swapping ninja stories, and in the morning we can drink herbal tea and stuff. They're all gonna be jealous when they see how much better you are than Dan," Komba stated matter-of-factly, grinning widely.

I felt myself smiling despite his naivety. "Yeah, we'll show them. This won't be easy, Komba, but I'm sure you can learn everything I have to teach you."

-X-

"Today, Komba, we're going to focus on tools and weapons."

"Yes, Master Shun," he nodded eagerly.

"Now, it's very important that you listen to everything I say, because one mistake could prove to be fatal, understood?" I asked seriously, positive that Dan was giving no such disclaimer to the others.

"I will! You can count on me!"

I sighed, sensing the calamity that would ensue. Somehow, wherever ninja stuff was involved, disaster was sure to follow. "Yes, well, let's get started right away. We have a lot to go over."

I lead Komba to our ninja tool shed a mile away from the dojo, the place where Grandpa kept all of our equipment. The simple wooden shed was locked with a single padlock, and I saw Dan trying to break it open with a rock, the rest of the campers behind him.

"Watch and learn, campers. I'm about to show you all how a real ninja gets it done."

"Thief!" Komba shouted right away, pouncing on Dan and grabbing him in a chokehold. I stood to one side mildly amused while Dan tried to yank the kid off of him and choked out, "Break…the padlock. Break…the lock. Get him off! Get him off!"

Finally, after another minute or two of watching Dan squirm, I pried Komba off. In the meantime, Klaus was trying to break open the lock with a bigger rock. He didn't manage to get it open but he did look like a Neanderthal, which can be counted as a success.

Dan gave me a defiant glare, which soon softened when I produced the single key that opened the shed. A maniacal smile spread across his face, and he flung his arm around my shoulder. "Hey, Shun, buddy old pal. Did you get a haircut because you're looking good—"

I shook him off in one fluid motion. "Dan, you're only going to get your hands on these weapons if you join your group with mine. Anything I say goes, for you and for those misled campers. Questions?"

No one said anything except Dan who raised his hand and asked impatiently, "Uh, yeah. Can you open it already?"

I scoffed, the lock coming undone with a quiet click. Dan was inside in an instant, zooming around the inside like a whirlwind, scooping up everything within his sight. The meticulous order my Grandpa had kept it in was quickly thrown into disarray. I held back another sigh. Just another thing I'd have to fix before Grandpa came back from his secret mission.

"Alright!" he whooped. "Let's get it started!"

-X-

"The most important weapon for a ninja, students, is the katana," I began, holding the simple slightly curved blade in one hand and demonstrating the sharp edge with the other. "The sword of the ninja."

The campers had gathered around the shed in an orderly fashion, much to my approval, and they didn't really put up much of a fight when I was placed in charge. I think it was the thrill of weaponry. It holds the attention of the simple-minded so easily.

"There are many styles of katana, the ninja version being smaller and straighter for easy concealment. It's used not only for defense and killing, but as an extension of one's body. For example, if I had to climb a wall, I could prop the katana against it and step on the hilt to give me extra height." I motioned to the cord wrapped around the hilt, extending it with a hand. "In that example, this would be wrapped around my foot so I could retrieve my katana once I climbed the wall."

Komba, in the front row, nodded exuberantly, writing my sentences word for word in a notebook. And he wasn't the only one. Everyone, including Klaus, seemed to be enthralled in my description of the plain silver blade.

"Question?" Baron called out. "If ninjas are carrying these super cool katanas, why would they want to conceal them? I mean, if I had one, I'd definitely want to show it off."

"You're not supposed to announce to the world that you're a ninja, Baron. Ninjas were originally the lower classes of feudal Japan, turning to secrecy in order to protect themselves from the samurais of the aristocracy. Their weapons were concealed so samurais wouldn't suspect their ninjahood." I explained, receiving an 'Ah' from Baron.

I continued, getting rather excited myself for this next part. "Now, if I could have a volunteer..?"

Immediately, Komba jumped up and teleported, it seemed, to my side.

I smiled slightly, getting into a fighter's stance. "Excellent…now dodge!"

-X-

"This is the tekken." I slipped the clawed knuckles onto my hand. "They're made of iron and generally used for climbing."

Removing the tekken, I placed larger claws over my hands, extending my reach a foot. "This, on the other hand, is a hokode. Again, mainly for climbing, but they're sharp enough that they could be used as killing machines if necessary." The class stared in silence, every pair of eyes fixated on the glint of the claws in the bright sun. Some gulped audibly. It must have been the incident with Komba and the katana. I told him it was only a scratch, not a "stab" as he put it. But now he only sat in the back. Wimp.

I decided to break the ice with a little pop culture reference. "They remind me of those claws that that guy had in the X-Men. What was his name again? Timberwolf?"

"Wolverine," Julio said.

"Excuse me?" I asked, putting my claws to his neck.

-X-

"The ninja throwing stars, also known as shuriken, were carried in bands of up to five. This one in particular has four points and is made of iron, as many shuriken were."

I passed the shuriken to Dan and he passed it around the group.

"They could be used as projectile weapons, throwing them in a spinning motion, but they could also be used as slashers. For example, if I had a hold of my opponent, I could easily use a shuriken to tear the skin, or even a major artery."

Noticing their blank stares, I continued. "Now class, please demonstrate the proper technique of throwing stars on Dan."

"Yeah! Demonstrate the…Wait, on me? I don't like this plan," Dan argued, the class eyeing Dan like a snack.

"You should run," I advised.

"Yeah, you're right. Thanks, Shun," he replied warmly before taking off in the opposite direction. "Ahhhhhh!"

"Charge!" bellowed Klaus leading the group in search of Dan.

"Extra credit to those who hit Dan in the—"

"Ouch! Not there!" he yelped. "Why would you throw a shuriken there?"

"I was going to say face, but that works, too. Good job, Runo."

-X-

"Ninjas were not beyond firearms, but unfortunately, pistols in the traditional sense didn't reach Japan until after the wars of the Feudal Era ended. Instead we got these neat little explosives. The soft cased bombs held poison, created smoke, or just created an explosive sound. "

I held up a bomb the size of a grapefruit in my hand, and then placed it on the floor before me. I picked up one of the bigger, heavier ceramic bombs. "Larger pottery bombs could cause damage by hurling pieces of iron or pottery shards."

Setting the bomb down, I picked up a string of gunpowder cases. "This is a hyrakuraiju. These tiny compartments hold gunpowder and are all strapped to this length of rope. It could be set off to give the illusion of multiple intruders or just as a distraction."

"Let's see how quick you guys are," Dan shouted, throwing one of each bomb into the crowd of campers, all of them failing to be caught and quickly exploding. I jumped up onto the roof of the shed, pulling Dan up with me.

"My eyes!"

"This burns!"

"We should have made a sacrifice to the ninja gods!"

The screams continued for a few seconds more before they all slowly stopped and the multicolored smoke dissipated. We stared at each other, unsure of what to do when we saw the campers lying on the ground apparently unconscious.

"Um, do you know what exactly was in those bombs?" the brunette asked me.

"I'm not sure," I admitted. "I think they were safe…maybe."

Dan shrugged in an 'Oh, well' kind of way. "Well, at least we don't have to give them a refund now."

It amazed me that Dan was still able to joke around after we might have killed every one of our friends. The only thing that amazed me more was why I didn't think of it sooner.

As always, hope you had fun reading, and leave me your thoughts or suggestions in a review!

Cocoacharm15