Finally, my first chapter of my first fanfic is complete! I apologise for any faults I missed, and well here goes.

PS: I do not own any characters or plot lines that can be found in the Harry Potter books. In case any of you were wondering.

All Over Again

Chapter 1

The room was perfectly silent when he entered. So much so, that the soft padding of the newcomers Nike trainers seemed almost loud as they brushed the Scarlett carpet. Maybe it was this sound that made him pause, hesitate for only a moment before pulling the common room door gently shut behind him. He'd seen what it was he was looking for now, and in the fire light, one could just make out the slight movement of the left corner of his fine lips, turning upwards in a smirk. A smirk that was almost too gentle to merit the name. Almost.

The object of his search now finally in sight, his stride lenghthened and his posture relaxed, challenging the oppressive silence by the innocent scuff of his heels against the carpet, the delibrate step on the one creeky floorboard. The head that hovered above the back of the slightly worn but oh so comfortable familiar couch, seemed to purposefully ignore his arrival. The smirk reached to touch the other corner of his mouth. They both knew that she knew that he was there, just as both played along with the feigned ignorance.

In the warm, flickering firelight, everything burned red. Familiarity alone would have alerted an onlooker to the fact that the gleaming hair that had fanned out slightly against the velvet upholstery, was a slightly darker and more coppery version of the Scarlett cushions. The burnished locks seemed to dance to the same music as the flames, but the familiarity that allowed him to acknowledge the sight, had also softened the effect of its beauty.

The girl's eyelids didn't even deign to flicker as the smirker patiently let his gaze rest on her, waiting for her to acknowledge his presence. Timing was a gift, patience merely a tool, a means to an end like any other. Any other day this game could go on for hours, but tonight he knew, as certainly as he knew the sun would rise tomorrow, that tonight she wouldn't hold out. Not for long, not after today.

She didn't give in easily though, fatal pride resisting even as she admitted to herself the almost painful need for his comfort and strength. He was completely aware of it though, recognising instinctively the fierce independence that forbade her to ask for the reassurance that he was silently offering, and at the same time mocking that same streak of stubbornness that he admired in her.

She held for ten minutes before finally letting it go. The slim leggy silhouette was lying back against the couch with her knees curled up on the seat beside her. Finally, she seemed to shudder, just the once, in a barely perceptible movement that rippled though her entire body. Her shoulders slumped slightly from their tense rigidness and the pale face leaning back in a deceptively relaxed position, creased just a fraction. The only indication of the suffering she was fighting to repress.

Her observer made no reaction to the movement. She sighed internally. He wasn't going to take pity on her; he was going to play the git. She would get nothing out of him without letting down her meter thick walls, and, having no inclination to exert himself, he would let her suffer in silence until she caved. Almost as in reaction to her thoughts, the watchers smirk widened yet again, mocking her pride as childish; endearing but pointless. She was giving in and he knew it. Hell yeah, he knew it.

He watched her head lift gracefully off the back cushions, still standing like a statue next to the stone fireplace. The light picked out the girls features one by one, before her pointed chin finally halted its descent fractionally higher than its normal resting place. She was throwing in the towel but she was still defiant, unwilling. Her softly curved full lips were ever so slightly pressed together, revealing the clench of her jawbone. The straight nose was lifted as defiantly as her chin and the firelight brought her high cheekbones into even greater prominence. A half-second passed before the white, delicate eyelids finally opened with determined slowness and the great, almond-shaped, emerald eyes beneath them, sparkled fiercely at him for the first time that night.

" There! " The thought was almost spat, in reaction to her pathetic mix of searing pain, fierce anger and indignant hurt. She glared at the young man still standing in the same spot to the right of the fireplace opposite her six-seater sofa. The firelight cast the left side of him into shadow, but the smirk was still plain even without the dimple that always nestled in his left cheek. For a single second, the one visible eye glinted with unholy mirth at her weakness.

" I hope you're sodding happy now." Just a touch of sulkiness had laced the tone of her thought. Because he was, he was revelling in it, the bastard.

But the almost cruel look in his eyes lasted for only a second, before they lit up with the softer glow of sympathy and compassion. He accepted her unspoken and painfully reluctant plea and finally closed the 3-meter void between them. Stopping in front of her, he sunk into a crouch with an impossible grace, lowering himself until their eyes were at the same height, and lifted her chin with a single long finger of the strong yet shapely hand.

He paused, searching fiercely her green orbs with his own deep blue ones. His lips formed a soundless snarl as he read the depths of the agony in them; the windows to her soul were less angry than the last time, more helpless than the time before that. His frustration and anger mounted as the normally sparkling emeralds, gradually filled with uncontrollable tears. In a sudden rage, he found himself hating the cause of her pain, not withstanding the fact that that cause was his brother in all but blood.

As much to stop himself punching something as the overpowering need to comfort her, he reached out in an abrupt movement and grabbed her in an embrace that was both harsh and comforting. The red-heads' arms and legs were pinned tightly to her side but she buried her delicate face into the smooth skin between his neck and his collarbone. The minutes passed by as they stayed there, without moving. They both knew that right now all she wanted, all she needed, was the comforting closeness of another human body. So he simply held her, ready to do so for as long she needed. As he knelt there, he was aware only of the slight shaking of her sobbing shoulders and the wet veins of tears rolling down his neck and chest that were raising goose pimples on his brown skin and soaking his shirt. A single broken sob was allowed to escape her tightly clenched teeth, and he almost wished it hadn't.

" I hate him Sirius. I HATE him! "

It was almost an hour later that the flow of agonising emotions finally dried up and the girl pulled away. The movement was just fast enough to show that her embarrassment over her own weakness had finally won the battle against the pain. Another person might have considered being offended at the seemingly cold and abrupt way of dealing with the person who had soothed her for the last 49 minutes, but for Sirius Black, it was the sign he'd been waiting for. Now that the painful hysterics had subsided and the raw emotions locked away, at least for the moment, he could actually broach the issue, however much she might not want to.

He was still sitting on his heels in front of her, and, though not a glimpse of the severe cramping in his calf muscles had crossed his face, she wasn't fooled. The ghost of an apologetic smile flickered in the girls' eyes, as he rose to his feet and stretched with a nonchalance that was just a touch too deliberate.

The answering smile in his own eyes was something that no other girl had yet had the privilege to see, but then his relationship with the girl who was sitting on the sofa, was unique. His feelings for her and her alone, were at the same time mindblowing and completely unprecedented. Mindblowing because he would give her the sun, the moon and every star in the galaxy to her if she asked. Unprecedented because for the first time in his 16 years, his feelings for a member of the female population were completely…platonic.

To the rest of the Hogwarts student body and even, on occasion himself, it was, to put it lightly, incomprehensible. Any girl in third year or above would probably use slightly more violent words to describe the overpowering bond between the Hogwarts official womaniser-slash-sex-aholic, and the stunning red-haired prefect.

Unfortunately, Sirius Black's reputation tended to precede him. Having been blessed at birth with every gift nature could bestow, he had never met a woman, (and few men) who could resist him. His was the face that could only reasonably exist on the pages of an airbrushed muggle magazine; his eyes were blue as violets and framed by lashes girls would kill for, his features were copied straight from the bust of the Greek god Apollo, with a narrow straight nose, defined cheek and jawbones and the most perfectly shaped lips in the wizarding world. His hair alone deserved its own TV series, it was as black as his name and fell into his eyes with the same spine tingling grace as the rest of him. Add to this the smooth brown body of a demi god, an intellect approaching the level of genius and and a wit sharper than Godric Gryffindor's legendary sword, and you had the most lusted-after young man the stones of Hogwarts had ever seen. Unfortunately, he was probably the most lustful too.

At the tender age of thirteen, he had been initiated into the delights of a woman's body by the Head Girl of the time. She had been far from inexperienced and when she left at the end of the year, there was nothing he did not know about bringing a woman into ecstasy; by the end of his fourth year, he had deflowered and summarily dumped over half of the female student population. In this his sixth year, that number had risen to roughly eighty percent, even without counting the ones he'd gone back to before breaking their hearts a second time. Even now, when the whole school had given up hope that one day he would find the person who would break him, truckloads of girls, either sluts or simply foolishly romantics, would still fight with a passion to be that nights fling. People said it was a gift, most with affronted modesty and the honest ones with grudging admiration. However much he beat their hearts to pulp, the silly girls couldn't stop themselves coming back for more; there was just something about him that made you believe he was touching not only your body but your very soul. Countless girls had left their long-term boyfriends, after finding their normal adolescant male skills heartbreakingly unsatisfying in comparaison.

He was the epitome of perfection; on only point was he lacking. Sirius Black, for all his breathtakingly romantic words and burning passionate touches, had a heart of stone.

Right up to the beginning of fifth year, only three people in the entire school could actually boast of having any hold over him, any place in his affections. To those three people and those three people alone did he show any remotely human emotions. However, for these select three, Peter Pettigrew, Remus Lupin and finally James Potter, he would walk through the gates of hell, without thinking twice. The four boys had been best friends since first year, forming the most popular, sexy and " it " group in the school, The Marauders. In first year, they were already making a name for themselves, by third, they had there own fan clubs and by fifth year, the Marauders were set to be legends. All four boys were distinguished by beauty, brains and an obnoxious charm that made them popular with both teachers and students alike, despite weekly pranks, that became only cleverer and more flamboyant as the years passed.

The three guys meant everything to him, quite simply because for the first time in his young life, they had accepted him as a normal, living, breathing boy, instead of gaping open mouthed at the child star model with the face of an angel. Nor had they turned away in disgust or fear when revealed his belonging to one of the richest, darkest, most powerful muggle hating pureblood families in the wizarding community. The Blacks had been sorted into Slytherin house consistently for the last nine generations. The one exception, Sirius' cousin Andromeda, had been disinherited and cut of from the family entirely for being sorted into Ravenclaw. But this reaction was mild compared to that of Sirius' parents when their pride and joy was not only sorted into the house that opposed Slytherin in almost every conceivable way, but also declared himself wanting nothing to do with what he termed they're " Pureblood Mania ". Sirius had joined James, Remus and Peter in Gryffindor house, where they accepted him as the " prodigal son " and unquestionably one of them. In return, they received the full measure of all the friendship, compassion and fierce unswerving loyalty that Sirius Black was capable of. Time had built a bond stronger than blood between the four boys but the link between James and Sirius had gone surpassed even that. Two halves of the same being, " Black and Potter " had become a byword in Hogwarts and even the village of Hogsmede. They were inseparable; James' cocky energy and gift of the gab complementing to perfection Sirius' ice-cool, languid elegance. James was also the only person in the school who could really rival his best mate in both physical attractiveness and sheer, god-given brilliance.

Familiarity of his own perfection had born contempt for it, and that contempt extended to any female who was shallow enough to fall for him because of it. Not one girl had inspired in him anything more than this pitying disgust, let alone anything approaching respect. Not one female had been allowed to approach the real Sirius Black, the soul behind the face, the frighteningly loyal friend, the wicked sense of humour. No girl had ever been allowed to see the soft glow of rueful adoration that lit his eyes, as he gazed down worriedly at the red head who sat so sadly on the sofa in front of him. Not until November of their fifth year…

Flashback

The closing of the wooden door finally cut of the mindless babble of twittering girls who had followed him to the Gryffindor common room. Forsaking his usual nonchalant manner, he collapsed in a heap onto the four four-poster beds in the stone walled room, that conveniently turned out to be the one with "Sirius is a SexGod" , engraved into the headboard. Stupid blond had decided she wanted to "make her mark". Sirius' return "Mark" had taken the form of the words "Shag Me" cursed onto her forehead and the girl had changed schools a week later.

As Sirius sank back into the cushions, the feeling of the soft breeze that blew gently through the open window, brushing his face, was pure ecstasy. Ahh sweet silence.

Habit tended to make him deaf to their gabbling, but tonight the Gryffindor members of his fan club had been unusually irritating. Maybe it was because James was in detention instead of by his side, flirting deliberately with the fawning females, before high five-ing him discreetly when one finally fell into a swoon at their feet. Whereas Sirius was largely indifferent to the attention, James revelled in it, and played to the crowd like a celebrity giving a concert. James never failed to make him smile.

The faint sound of "Siriiii I love youuuuuuuu", floated though the three inch thick oak, causing his black brows to descend in a tiny sign of frustration. It could on the other hand also be that in James' absence, the members of his best mate's fan club seemed to have switched their alligience to Sirius for the night, causing high tensions between the two groups. A shriek carried up the stairs, causing his frown to deepen. His devoted groupies were probably pulling out the hair of one the "Traitor Fans", right this minute. Pathetic. And more importantly he was now imprisoned for the evening in the seventh year boy's dormitory with only Peter's one-eyed teddy bear for company. James' detention was likely to last the whole night and Remus was tutoring Peter in the library for the Transfiguration test that was set for the next day. It was going to be one fun night. No offence Mr Teddikins.

Damn those girls. The hopeful giggling groupies seemed to pass their lives following the Marauders every move, especially his and James'. They only had to catch a glimpse of one of the four of them, to send out some kind of strange girly telepathic signal, before the hoards would descend out of nowhere. Only undercover of James' inherited invisibly cloak, could the guys actually accomplish their midnight outings in secret, when the silence of the empty castle was a welcome change.

Sirius' eyes snapped open. For a genius he sure was slow today. The frown lifted and he even smiled a genuine, happy smile as he crossed the room to the bed with James Potter inscribed in fine italic writing on the headboard. Feeling for the secret compartment underneath the bed, he pulled out the smooth water-like material with a smirk of satisfaction, running it though his fingers as he debated where to go for his stroll as the invisible man. James wouldn't mind, maybe he could even visit him in detention, after making sure Filch was nowhere in sight of course. The Map would have of undoubtably made the whole thing easier, but James had it with him, to alert him when someone was coming to check on him.

As he threw the cape over himself and walked quietly out of the dorm, his whole posture seemed to change, suddenly turning into "Happy Sirius", as Remus had named his disturbingly cheerful alter-ego; there was a wide, slightly silly smirk on his face and a definite spring in his normally purposeful step as he crossed the landing and made his way down the stairs, taking care to avoid the creaky bottom step.

The "Gang" had apparently given up to go down to dinner, though one girl had obviously been set as a lookout; the fixed stare she was giving the landing, was a slight give away. Suppressing a snort, he quickly walked to the common room entrance, opening the door and closing it behind him before the girl could look up.

Finally! Sirius breathed the sweet perfume-free air of freedom and strolled away, ignoring the puzzled looks of the Fat Lady.

He made his way casually down to the library, with the vague intention of seeing if Remus and Peter had finished and gone into supper yet. In a moment of cowardice, in hesitated at the doorway, before squaring his shoulders to face the previously uncharted territory, that only creatures such as "bookworms", and, even worse, "nerds", ventured into willingly. God help his poor fellow Marauders, who had so treacherously fallen to "the dark side" .

Poking his (invisible) head through the open doorway, he scanned the vast stone-arched room, looking for any signs of the groups of girls that would often indicate the presence of a Marauder. Nothing. Yes! They'd made it out alive at least! In the silence, only the slight scratching noise of quills could be heard, coming from the one occupied table.

Four girls were working quietly away, and even in the gloom Sirius could make out the burnished copper colour of the hair of the closest girl to the door. He smirked slightly. Evans and co; the auburn mane was unmistakable even at this distance. The object of Remus' affections, Jenny Dreamer and Frank's girlfriend Alice Greycloud must be there too then. And of course Blackwater. The inseparable foursome were maybe the only girls that were actually of slight interest to Sirius. They were all babes of course, in varying degrees and styles, but not one of them had ever fallen for the Marauders, or if they had they'd never shown it. They were also bright, Evans and Blackwater especially and they didn't seem to giggle every few minutes like most girls did when they were around him. Unfortunately, they were that most evil and unnatural thing known to man; goody-goodies!!

Sirius shuddered and backed out of the library, shaking his head to further prevent the contamination of any workaholic virus that might have latched on to him from the books and quills. Studying, Urgh! Another, more violent head shake. Best hurry away. The guys must have escaped to the Great Hall already.

He'd only walked a few paces however when a small group of figures made him stop. They all seemed to be huddled round a dark haired girl and a mousy brown haired boy, probably sixth years by the looks of them. They were sobbing fiercely, tears streaming down their red cheeks to fall on what looked to be a copy of the Daily Prophet, which seemed in danger of tearing between their white-knuckled fingers.

He wasn't sure what made him do it. James had a "big brother" complex that could pop up out of nowhere when you least expected it , Peter was sweet in a dopy sort of way and Remus was universally declared to be the "sensitive one" of the Marauders. Sirius Black was a cold hearted git, albeit the sexiest one alive. So it was shocking even to himself, when he found that he had put away the invisibility cloak and stepped forward in concern.

Every head turned to him as he approached, each with the same stricken look of terror in their eyes. Their sudden fear puzzled him vaguely. Sure he was a git, but no need to look as is Voldemort himself had swept down upon them. They were a year older than him, for Petes Sake! But they were upset; he didn't take it personally.

The sudden movement of a wand, followed the searing agony of being thrown 10 feet straight into the stone wall, made it plain to him that maybe he should have. Shit! A sickening crunch bit into the darkness. The pain was overwhelming; by the sound it he'd cracked a good few ribs and maybe even his skull. Fighting the urge to lose consciousness, he stared up in bewilderment at the dark haired girl holding the wand that was pointed at his heart. The girl who had been crying hysterically a moment ago, was now looking down at him with a face usually seen on serial killers and fanatics; pure undisguised hatred.

The others fidgeted slightly. The boy whose tears were still glistening on face, called out a weak plea of "Emmeline,..", but otherwise not one amongst them made any movement. Not even as the girl called Emmeline walked towards him, breathing heavily, holding her wand out in front of her with a white knuckled fist.

She stopped a meter away from him and finally spoke, her voice coming out as a hiss through her clenched teeth.

"Come to gloat have you? As if you and your evil, repulsive family hadn't done enough, you thought you'd come to rub salt in the wound." her voice was tightly controlled, he registered through the pain, not the hysterical cry he had unconsciously been expecting.

But he still didn't understand. As if in response to his bewildered, questioning look she threw at his face the newspaper she'd been holding. As it bounced off him onto the wooden floor, his eyes gradually made sense of the letters splashed across the front page. Frightening word jumped out at him. "Entire Vance Family Murdered", "last member of one of the oldest pureblood families, remains at Hogwarts", "Edgars Bones, brother of the well known auror Amelie Bones and fiancé of Cassandra Vance also found dead", "Amelie Bones demands justice". And finally the words Sirius had been dreading.

"The suspects Bellatrix Black, Rodolphus Lestrange and 3 other members of the Black family were taken into custody, but released earlier today, by vote of jury". Vote of jury? Gold in other words; the Black family had money to burn.

The bile rose in Sirius' throat as the names stared back at him. He was related to these monsters, these sick twisted minds. The Vances had openly opposed Voldemort and his muggle-hating ways and had paid the ultimate price for their courage. The need to vomit was almost overpowering; that was his heritage, staring him in the face. Hatred, blood and murder. The girl looking down at him had lost in one terrifying blow, her parents, aunts, uncles, siblings, including a younger brother who, the article said, was only six years old. And Jason Bones, the mousy haired boys name suddenly came back to him. His elder brother had only left Hogwarts two years ago. So many loved ones, so many lives. All cruelly torn away by people he was bound to by both name and blood. People to whom blood and descent were the only things that mattered.

In a hellish moment of realisation, he realised that he deserved every pain he was feeling, that death was to good for him, that he owed this girl this girl more than life itself. He had been a fool to think that a house name could change anything, naïve to think that he could be something different and escape his past. Arrogant to hope that he deserved to be one day forgiven for being born into the darkest of households. He was a Black, and the girl, Emmeline Vance, was entitled to his life for that alone. Even that wouldn't be enough; one life of a spawn belonging to a family of murders, against the lives of thirty good, brave, decent people. But it was all he could give her, the only pathetic amends he could make.

Lying in a pitiful heap, the self loathing, shame and desire to die threatened to crush him and he closed his eyes silently begging for her to bring down her wand, to make him suffer for as long as she wanted before taking the miserable life he offered her freely.

But it didn't happen. As he looked up, half blinded by tears of remorse his mind vaguely registered through guilt and agony, the beam of red light that shot, straight over his head, at the wand that Emmeline Vance was aiming at him. The spell made the wand fly out of the girls grip, past Sirius and down the corridor.

Sirius' broken bones made turning his impossible, so he didn't recognise the spell caster until she stepped past him to stand in front of his battered body, her wand outstretched defensively at the Vance girl and the other teenagers huddling behind her, twelve feet away.

The intruder knelt down beside him, suddenly and muttered an incantation through clenched teeth. Miraculously, Sirius felt his wounds being healed, the broken bones snapping into place and knitting instantaneously. The feeling of relief caused by the absence of physical pain, pushed back momentarily the black despair that had been about to break him a second before. It allowed him to register the colour of the head that was bent over him, as the owner put an arm under his to lift him into a sitting position and propped him up against the wall. Through the vivid Titan red curls, Sirius could see that the girl's expression was murderous; her jaw was clenched as if to prevent herself swearing and her green eyes sparkled with a ferocity that bemused him anew. What was Evans doing here, and come to think of it, why was she looking ready to kill him? Ah she must have read the article too.

Despair threatened to pull Sirius under yet again, but something niggled him. If she had read the article, why had she defended him? She was a muggleborn, one of the very people his family were determined to exterminate. Did she want the pleasure of finishing him of herself? That would explain her anger, the murderous face.

When she stood up and straightened her wand arm again, he was sure of it and his sprit prepared once more to break under the crushing guilt and shame. But her next action were as unforgettable as they were unexpected.

He watched, non comprehending, as she turned back to the Vance girl who had stepped forward with a painful, ugly look in her eye, retrieving her dropped wand in the process. Both the wands were out, and rather than being pointed at him, they were aimed at…each other?

The two girls glared at each with obvious anger, verging on fury. Evans was outnumbered five to one but she didn't look worried; people said she was the smartest witch to enter Hogwarts since Minerva McGonagall herself. And not just booking learning either; she had whipped both James and Sirius' arses more than once during their duelling club meetings.

Vance's eyes flickered to where Sirius was sitting, and in reaction, Evans took a step to her right, placing herself directly between the dark haired girl and the guy she obviously wanted to kill. Sirius could only watch her open mouthed; didn't she know who he was, what his family had done? How could she not comprehend that he deserved, wanted to die for the horror she had suffered. He opened his mouth to explain, to point out to the red head that she should be helping Emmeline, rather than obstructing her. After all, the Vances had died for defending the rights of muggleborns. They had given everything to protect people like her. Surely her hatred must be almost as strong as Emmeline's, surely she must want to hurt him too.

Emmeline Vance voiced the thoughts that had been flooding Sirius' throbbing, despairing brain.

"Out of my way Evans. This is way beyond your jurisdiction as a prefect; now move before I bloody well make you."

Her breathing was heavier now, pain and the desire for revenge making her voice husky and strained. Her brown eyes seemed to burn with a fantasist's fire, they looked too large, too dark for her rounded face, and full of emotions that were too adult for her sixteen years. No child should have to feel so much grief, so much pain, so much overwhelming loneliness. The pain in Sirius' heart grew threefold, just breathing, living was agony. Deserved agony, he reminded himself; this could be nothing compared to what she was feeling.

"Lower that wand, Vance. Now!"

Evans' voice was icily controlled, dignified and confident. Only her blazing eyes showed the true measure of her anger. That unexplained anger.

Vance's eyes darkened to almost black in her fury, and her reply was louder this time and close to hysterical

"How can you defend him?!!!!!!" She words were almost a shriek as they echoed piercingly down the hall.

"How can you, of all people stand there, protecting him, you ungrateful heartless bitch!!!!! Have you seen it?!!! Or do you simply have no idea that this fucking evil son of a whore, and his whole fucking family did last night?!!!!!!!"

Tears were falling freely now, but no lessening of her anger; if any thing she was working herself into an even greater state.

"On the contrary, I was one of the first people to read the newspapers this morning, but I must of missed the line saying that Sirius Black was in anyway, shape or form responsible for your tragedy, and that he deserved to be tortured for it."

Evans' anger was far better controlled, Sirius realised, but that didn't mean it had disappeared. On the contrary he could sense it burning still, simmering just below the surface. Why? Why was she so angry at Emmeline' so reasonable fury? Emmeline was shrieking again.

"They killed them, every last one of my family, they killed !!!!!! Even Sam!!!! And do you know HOW they did it Evans? They didn't Avada Kedavre him, no; they tortured him!!!! Tortured a six year old boy until my parents begged them to stop, pleaded with « the Black's » to let him be!!!! « Anything but that », they cried!!! And they recorded every last minutes of it, displaying it to the world as a warning to all the other pureblood families who were thinking of following my family's example!!!! He was submitted to the Cruciatus curse for over three hours, Evans!!! They carried on even after my parents told them everything they knew, because they enjoyed watching him scream!!! Before cutting his throat. That is the family that he belongs to!! His cousins did that to my Sam, Evans!!!! And you expect me to go as thought nothing has happened ?!!!!! As though he'd done nothing wrong?!!"

She was screaming by the end of it, and the rest of the group behind her seemed to be frozen by the pain and grief in her voice. Even Evans looked slightly paler, and her eyes through still angry were also touched with raw compassion, understanding even . This strangely placed empathy was explained by her next words.

"Emmeline" It was the first time Evans had called the girl by her first name, and the softly spoken word seemed to calm the girl ever so slightly. For Sirius, the whole scene was if he was watching it through water. The harrowing details of the murders had numbed him to the very core. His only conscious thought was a desire to die, everything else was barely registering. And then Evans spoke again.

" Emmeline, I understand, I really do. I know the unbearable pain of losing ones parents and a brother, all because of choices that were never down to them, choices that I selfishly made with a child's naivety. I remember waking up one morning to be told my whole life had been wiped away, with the same indifference and coldness as instructions on a blackboard. The grief, the guilt, the pain; it never goes away. And no one can help you, no magic in the world can bring them back. Trust me, I know."

The revelation lifted Sirius out of despair for a moment. Her parents had died at the hands of death eaters? He'd never realised; the Lily Evans he knew had no problems. Her life was perfect, just like her. She took a final deep breath and what she said next would be forever engraved into Sirius Black's memory; it would come to him as one of the turning points in his life, during the moment he would fall through the silent black veil, and would die defending her son. Because her next words were the ones that saved him.

"I know it all. But I also know that I will never, never let you take out your pain on Sirius Black. How can I let you hurt my one proof in this world that the murderers out there are wrong, that blood doesn't mean a damn thing. That a person can only ever be defined by his actions and his choices. I can't and never could never let you do that. The only reason that I'm still here fighting is because every time I look at Sirius, I know that he gave up everything he ever knew, faced isolation and even torture, to stand against all those people saying I don't belong here. He's the thing that tells me that whatever happens, you can always say no, you can always choose another path. As strange and unbalanced as it sounds, Sirius Black, he's my hope, my beacon if you like, that tells me I deserve this. Because if he believed it so strongly, that he was willing to defy his entire family to defend that belief, how can I do anything less?"

"I've never met a Gryffindor who deserved the name more, and I've never met someone ready to sacrifice so much for what they believe in. This idiot is probably the person I admire the most in the world, and I will NOT let you try to convince him otherwise."

She was looking down at him now, and he gazed up at her as one stunned. She turned back to Emmeline and said in a voice that was now gentle,

"Put it down Emmeline. Why should he suffer for the sins of his family? He shouldn't have to shoulder our burden. You don't want that, not really. Enough, Emmeline."

She motioned softly to the group of teenagers still standing sadly behind the now, quietly sobbing girl. In one movement, the closed in around her, obscuring her from prying eyes and gently lead her away.

When the last echoes of their footsteps had faded, Lily turned back to the boy still sitting at her feet. He gazed up at her blankly, his mind still numb, not yet able to fully accept what had heard. It could only be a dream, a cruel dream that tormented him with impossible miracles. How could she have such blind faith in him, he had sprung from evil, and was condemned by association.

But the spark of hope refused to die, and that spark kept him from plunging forever into the depths of the darkness. Instead he fought to keep his head above water, staring at her as though the sight could make the dreams reality. If he blinked she might disappear.

The green eyes looked back at him, swimming with a mixture of emotions that made the candle of hope brighten dangerously. Their regard was direct, but he could tell that she was struggling with a wash of embarrassment and…shyness. How strange. She thought she'd made a fool of herself, expressing her feelings like that. She truly had no notion how her words had brought him back from the very brink of darkness, had no idea that she had just saved him from his greatest and darkest demons.

The overwhelming trust and belief that she had shown in him washed away the guilt, the self disgust and loathing. Suddenly the weight of the name « Black » was gone, like a millstone, from around his neck and he remained there, stunned by the idea of his innocence. She had pronounced him guiltless, she even was grateful to him and that knowledge, all at once made him yearn to be that person she believed he was. He wanted to deserve her faith and gratitude, to be worthy of the pedestal she, for some incomprehensible reason, had placed him upon.

Still looking into his eyes, she bent down into a crouch beside him. Hesitantly she reached out a delicate white hand and gently wiped away the single tear that he hadn't realised had escaped. A moment later she was holding him in a warm embrace and he clung to her with a fierceness that showed his long-denied need for maternal warmth. For the first time in his life, he was oblivious to such things as the firm breasts he had buried his face in, or even the white skin that glowed slightly in the candle light where her skirt had ridden up. All he knew was that he was forgiven, freed from the guilt and shame of belonging to evil and safe in the knowledge that his destiny had not been fixed the day he was born into the house of Black. It was his own to built and shape as he desired.

For fifteen minutes he stayed clasped in her arms, crying, really crying for the first time in six long years. She held him in silence, allowing all the emotions he had so carefully suppressed, flood out in a wash of tears and blissful relief. When the sobs subsided, they stayed there for moment longer, in the soothing embrace. As thay finally drew apart she looked into his famously mesmerising eyes. She smiled. The smile was beam of light from heaven itself, dazzling him with it's overwhelming warmth and understanding; the smile of an angel.

Sirius Black would never be able to describe the whirlpool of emotions he experienced in that moment, and never spoke of it to another living soul. But from that moment on the adoration he felt for the brave, compassionate redhead would have as much a central place in his life as the bonds of friendship between the other Marauders and himself. From that moment on, he would willingly give his life for Lily Evans. In the meantime he compensated by being the brother she had lost, her confident, and as always her beacon of hope. For him, she was his sun; she had saved him body and soul, from the darkness that had so nearly consumed him.

The swish of Lily's titan hair, brought Sirius' thoughts back to the present. Much had changed since that night, almost a year ago now, when their friendship had been forged. The bond between them, though still intense, had been reinforced by a real compatibility of personalities. Both were fiercely protective and shamelessly mocking of the other, and the understanding between them was almost complete. Sure, Lily had Emily Blackwater, and James would always be Sirius' true best friend and brother, but that knowledge never bothered them. They could go for a week without speaking only to know instinctively when something wasn't right with the other, and would respond to the others need instantly.

In general, they kept their friendship discreet, Sirius' fan club tended to hex any female that came near him in public, and since the incident in October, tensions between the Marauders and Lily's group of friends had soared to a whole new level.

Tensions that were also the reason that his angel, his saviour, spend night after night with tears rolling silently down her face, each one burning a new hole in Sirius' heart.

So what did ya think? Pleeeease review even if its only say its too long or too wordy or too complicated. Or to say to love it just the way it is! :)

Ps: It really does read loads better with normal speech marks :)