Disclaimer: Gundam Wing, shockingly, horrifyingly, belongs to someone else.

Sub Rosa

Chapter Fifteen

Through The Never

It was fairly priceless, really, if I took a step back and looked at it all objectively. Heero and Wufei both looked absolutely stunned, almost like I'd tasered them. And Une, bless her psycho soul, looked about ready to run for safety.

At the same time, I felt the need to stuff my hands in my front pockets and rock back a bit, a safe way of putting a little distance between us all without actually stepping away.

Every last one of them looked scared in some way. I tried to catalog it, really I did, but I didn't understand what I thought I saw. Une was what I thought to be both terrified and bereaved. Wufei looked like he'd swallowed a watermelon whole, while Heero had adopted a more... horror-stricken look.

Did any of those make any damn sense? No. No they did not.

And just when I was about to break the silence, desperate to make the faces at least change in countenance, pounding footsteps broke each of us from our musings and made us turn. Une whipped out her police-issue pistol while I crouched to the side of the door.

But the ones to burst through the door and into Wufei's hospital room were none other than Trowa and Quatre, both of them breathing hard. I cocked an eyebrow at them both and stood up straight once more. Une cursed lowly as she put away her gun.

"Duo!"

And a giant piece of blond fluff was suddenly glomping me around the waist. "Quatre, what're you guys doing here?" A hand automatically lifted to pat the guy on the head; he burrowed his face in my shirt as if to glue himself to me. I raised my head to silently send my query to Trowa.

The taller of the two was taking in the damage to Heero and Wufei. I didn't have to look over to see Heero's reaction to Trowa's scrutiny; I could easily feel the glare of death shooting laser beams over to Trowa. Heero wasn't being subtle in warning Trowa to leave me alone. I rolled my eyes. What was the overprotective idiot gonna do? Drop-kick him? I snorted at the thought.

"You seem to have needed our help," Trowa remarked dryly.

"You would have just gotten in our way, Barton," Wufei sniffed, but he seemed rather pleased about something.

"That might have been a good thing, by the looks of it." Trowa came over to me and barely touched Quatre's back. "Quatre? Are you all right?"

Quatre nodded against me, but his grip didn't loosen.

It was like being strangled by a teddy bear. "Come on, Qat. I'm fine. Completely unharmed. I was the lucky one this time."

"Duo. How many times is this going to happen?"

I took a deep breath. "Yeah, I'm rather tired of it, too. That's why I'm sacking in my Wing."

Quatre pulled back, his eyes rather wide for someone who'd never done more than perhaps looked at the thing. "What?"

"I'm going to sell Wing." I sent an apologetic look to Heero and Wufei. "Even though we put so much work into her, it's just not a good idea to keep her when I wouldn't be using her anymore."

"Wouldn't use her anymore?" Quatre echoed, seeming rather dazed. "But Duo, you love that ship. And you work on her."

"Actually, I'm hoping Une will let my recent stupidity slide and sign me aboard her crew."

"It is not a 'crew,' Duo Maxwell," she huffed, but her gaze was more assessing than anything else. "You want to be an agent?"

I shook my head. "The last thing I need to do is go out on cases and invite more danger. No, that would be even stupider of me than this fiasco. It would be better for me to stay near HQ as much as possible. Having Preventors surrounding my name will make all but the strongest or craziest try to attack me, so I won't be as much of a walking target anymore. I'll have an income, which is a definite plus at this point, and I won't have to worry the hell out of a certain somebody by returning alone to space."

I could swear every single eye in the room turned to Heero.

"All in all," I finished, "There's no bad side to this."

Quatre didn't look convinced.

"So, in order for this brilliant plan of yours to work, I have to pretend I didn't just lose the availability of my two finest agents due to your negligence?"

"Commander-"

"Yeah, that pretty much sums it up." I glared at Heero for him to shut up. He glared right back. I could tell he would be about as cooperative a patient as I had been.

Quatre still had his arms around me, almost as if he was afraid to let go. I held him lightly around the waist, too, but my eyes skittered over to Trowa. I was surprised that the man hadn't already ripped me away from Quatre, but he was hardly paying attention to me at that instant. Instead his attention was on Une. "And will you?"

I couldn't read his tone, and it made me a little skittish. Did Trowa even want Une to ignore my blatant disregard of safety procedure? Just because he and I had come to some sort of halfway-understanding with one another didn't mean he was suddenly my friend again. I looked down at Quatre, but his attention was on Une, as well. Maybe I should have kept this private, if only for the poor woman's sake.

But obviously I had forgotten exactly which woman was in the room with us.

"I haven't made the decision yet. Obviously I'll be going through your files, Strike. And I'll need you to go through the same tests everyone else had to go through."

I rolled my eyes. "Even though we can both guess exactly how easily I'm going to pass them all?"

She gave me a rather tight-lipped, fairly insidious smile. "I'll be sure to make it a bit more difficult for you."

I stuck my tongue out at her. "That wouldn't give you a fair reading, now would it, Commander?"

"That would be the point, Strike."

"Oh, ow. Am I not allowed to be S-Class?"

"Don't get ahead of yourself." She cast us all looks. "I'll give you all a chance to catch up with one another. I have a ship ready to take you all back to Earth tomorrow morning at oh-seven-hundred hours. Don't be late."

"Aye aye," I murmured, but the woman was already striding purposefully out of the room, those heels of hers pounding in rhythm against the tiles once more. "You know, I don't care what anyone says, that woman is bloody scary."

"Then why do you antagonize her?" Wufei demanded, not for the first time.

"Because it's funny," I retorted, my usual response.

He just sighed.

"Duo." Quatre caught my immediate attention; his eyes were probing. "Are you really all right?"

"Sure," I answered, and smiled for him. "I got out clean."

"For once," Wufei piped up.

"Shut up, 'Fei," I chirped back. "But what are you guys doing here?" My eyes automatically popped over to Trowa again, who had decided to lean against the wall opposite Wufei. "I thought you guys had been placed somewhere safe until all of this blew over."

"Did you really think I would just lay back and twiddle my thumbs while all of you risked your lives?"

"No. But I was kind of hoping-"

"Duo!"

I rolled my eyes. "Fine, fine. But you have Trowa to shackle you to the damn safehouse. How'd you brainwash him into this?"

"Duo!"

I ruffled the guy's hair and laughed. "Yes?" I asked innocently.

His eyes were uncertain for a second, but hesitantly he smiled and raised his eyebrows up at me. "I talked him into it."

I gasped theatrically and put a hand to my heart. "You scoundrel! You know better than to use such a weapon!"

Quatre rolled his eyes. "It is not a brainwashing drug."

"You can only say that because you have immunity," I argued lightly. "So what did you tell him?"

"Oh, no." He unwrapped an arm from around me to stick his finger in my face. "You're going to tell me what happened. How did that man get to you? What happened? Did he hurt you? What happened to Heero and Wufei? Is he-"

I clapped my hands over my ears. "No more! I give, I give!"

So the next several minutes were wasted repeating what I'd just said earlier, cut short momentarily when a nurse came in to wonder exactly why we were still in the room. Wufei just flipped her his badge and said 'business' and the woman left us alone again. It was better than a magic wand.

"So you're telling me I have a... another person trained by H out there?" Quatre asked, the hand that had pointed at me now covering his mouth. "How is that possible?"

I shrugged. "Dunno. But Troit did mention that he'd been worked on, so I can assume that they were trying to force bodies past their potential."

"When that didn't work, they searched for people who could be trained to match the level of ability necessary," Trowa murmured. "It makes sense."

"In a twisted way," Wufei agreed, still obviously not happy about it.

"Well, they were certainly twisted enough," I muttered.

"So what should we do?" Quatre asked. "They haven't caused us any trouble, and there's no way for us to track them down, anyway."

"But should we really wait for them to hunt us down again?" Wufei demanded. He straightened up and looked carefully at all of us, lingering on me. "I don't like the idea of waiting for danger to once again come to us. If we explain what's been done by the other two, hopefully they would cooperate with us."

"But Quatre has a point," Heero pointed out. "We have no idea what they look like, let alone where they could be."

"We do have a universe to search," I agreed.

"So are we supposed to wait?" he repeated.

"For now, we have no other option," Trowa said lowly. "And we have several other problems to deal with before we concern ourselves with anything else."

I nodded. "Like getting my ass a job."

The reminder made Quatre frown, but it was Heero who spoke up. "duo, are you sure this is what you want to do?"

"Yeah." I smiled for him, careful to not let it get too bright. I'd made my decision, dammit. Why were they trying to back me out of it? Was it concern? Or was it something else? My grin slipped a little at that. "Do you not want me to join Preventors?"

"That's not it."

I pushed off from that, immeasurably relieved, and changed the subject. "So what're we gonna do about Zechs?"

Wufei didn't look particularly pleased with this change in subject, if his full-face grimace was a clue. "Maxwell, I don't want to even think about having to fight Zechs again."

"Will it really come to that?" Quatre asked, then, "and what are we talking about, anyway? Duo just said that we shouldn't trust Milliardo. Why?"

I turned to him. "Apparently he had information on the leader of Caribol, and a piece of the information was on Preventor files. He knew about the leader," I clarified before Quatre could ask. "I don't know that he's necessarily bad, since for one reason or another, the information was made available to Preventors. We just didn't know it was there, and none of us thought to check for something we didn't believe existed. His intentions may have been perfectly acceptable."

"But still," Heero hissed, his eyes narrowed, "he should have informed you. And if he'd become involved in the conflict in some way, he should have-"

"But how did he?" Trowa interrupted, cutting to the heart of the matter. "How had he gotten information on Caribol? And information that important? Did it have anything to do with his mission?"

"I don't know. We don't know what Zechs' job was." Heero seemed absolutely furious to be trapped in his wheelchair. His eyes caught mine, and I literally got to watch the frustration transform itself into careful consideration. I blinked at him.

"Well, we need to find out. I wonder if he's returned to Preventors since then?" Quatre was going into Take Charge Mode.

"If he had, Une would've trussed him up and kept him there for us," I answered.

Quatre shook his head. "for now, let's just get you guys out of here. Duo, do you want to take your Wing back yourself?"

I considered it for all of two seconds. But if I returned to her, I'd never be able to hold on to my resolve. "No. It wouldn't be a good idea."

Quatre seemed to understand exactly what I meant, when I'd been hoping everyone would assume I was talking about going alone. "Then I'll call for a mover to pick it up. You'll be coming back with us."

I flashed a quick look at Trowa, who thankfully was looking at Wufei and sharing a silent communication with him, but I didn't brook any arguments. Heero and Wufei would be safest with them.

"So are you ever going to tell us what happened?" Trowa asked idly, and everyone started heading out the door. I went over to Heero after Wufei passed and steered him out, as well. Wufei began an account of out little adventure, his movements graceful even with crutches.

"Duo."

I looked down at Heero, but the man was studiously looking in front of him, almost as if he actually had something worth looking at. Understanding his mood if not the reasons why, I looked up and forward, as well. "Yeah."

He was silent for a bit longer, and we almost made it out the front door before he finally said, "I understand now. How you've felt. Injured, I mean."

It's sad to admit, but it took me a while to understand just what the hell he was talking about. "Oh. You mean my whole crazy 'gotta do it myself' thing. Yeah. I need to apologize for that, and for all the trouble I've caused you and the others. And I'm pretty sure you've been having to worry over my mental state, too, and I'm sorry for that."

"Duo?"

His voice had completely changed now. We were out the door, and the guys had given us some space, presumably noticing our 'secret conversation' looks and providing privacy as we made our way to the driveway. I looked down to see Heero wisted around to look at me. "Heero, what the hell are you doing?!" But his eyes continued assessing mine. "Turn your ass back around or the conversation stops now."

He did as told.

"Hey! Lovebirds!"

I looked over to Trowa, stunned to speechlessness to hear the joke come from his lips. "You're both going with Quatre. Wufei will be coming with me."

"You got two cars?" Heero asked, and it was a miracle he remembered how to work his vocal cords, because right then I couldn't.

"We anticipated problems," Trowa responded dryly.

"Ha ha, Barton," Wufei huffed. Trowa popped open the door to a sleek black BMW, while Quatre pointed us over to a much more sedate silver-blue sedan.

"Duo? You were saying?"

I cast a quick look to Trowa, then followed behind Quatre to the car in a different section of the lot. "I had... some things to think about, before and after Troit attacked." I knew my smile just then was really self-deprecating, but I couldn't hide it in time, and Quatre caught it on my face when he turned to me.

"Duo," Quatre looked almost sick with sadness, "do you want to be alone?"

I hesitated. "In a minute." I wheeled Heero up until Quatre was within reach, and then I held out my hand. "I made you worry. I ran off on my own for three years, leaving you in the lurch, and then when I came back I brought so much trouble. And I'm not even talking about all the enemies that chased me down. And then I tried to kill myself!" Quatre's eyes seemed even more assessing than Heero's, as if he could reach in and read my soul. "I'm sorry. I'll straighten up from here on out."

Quatre seemed to find something in my eyes, and his smile when he did was cautiously hopeful. "Duo, are you really all right?"

"I'm working on it."

Quatre grabbed my hand with both of his. "I'm glad, Duo. I'm really glad for you."

Heero seemed to have taken just about enough. "What the hell are you two talking about?"

I outright laughed, more for relief than anything else. "Heero, I'm going through an overhaul stage. But hold on; let's get you into the car."

It was interesting work, sticking him into his seat in the back and then folding up his wheelchair and huffing it into the trunk. Heero scowled sullenly the entire time. I couldn't help but empathize; I'd been in a similarly sucky position a few times in the past year. But then Trowa pulled up next to us and Quatre winked at me before going over and speaking with him, and I took the chance to get myself inside the car beside Heero.

"So?" he huffed.

I ruffled his hair, laughing at the pouty look on his face. "Sorry," I managed, "I know how you feel, but I think I understand how you felt... I've never felt quite this protective of you before."

Heero harrumphed through his nose and turned away, but I could swear he was blushing.

I let him off the hook. "You know, what I was talking about earlier..." I leaned back and gently faced him forward again, careful of his collarbone. Heero hissed out a sigh. "I couldn't believe just how... how selfish I'd been."

"Duo," Heero started, but I bared my teeth at him.

"Shut up and let me finish. By selfish I mean... dumb? Annoying? I don't know that there's a perfect adjective for it. I'd been trying so hard to find myself and whatever that I'd given up everything else I'd been able to find. Friends, even memories. I'd been distorting them all simply because I'd missed the obvious fact that I'd been killing people. I'd started thinking, 'I hadn't noticed that I was making orphans, so what else have I missed?' And then things just started getting questioned, and then... I guess I ran off with it a bit too far."

"You... hadn't known...?" Heero asked, his voice careful but still blatantly skeptical.

"It hadn't hit me," I said bluntly. "I kept telling myself that I would fight so everything I went through would never happen to another kid. But obviously..." I let my voice drift off and shrugged. "And then I got obsessed with knowing who I was. But really, does it matter?" I was unbuckled – unlike Heero – so I was able to pull my knees up to my chest. "I'd been so worried about who I was that I forgot that humans change."

"Duo," Heero breathed, his eyes a little wide.

"So that's basically what I'm trying to say." I turned to him and blasted him face-first with a mega-watt grin. "From now on, I'm gonna try to not be such a burden. From today on, I'm gonna change. Will you still love me even after I'm different?"

Heero's shocked look fell into an easy grin. "Always, Duo. No matter what, I will always love you, as long as you're you."

It shocked me into laughter, and shortly after Quatre came over and took over the driver's seat.

I hadn't quite been expecting this, but this is a perfect place to end this series. In the next, I'm gonna do my best to start answering a few of these conflicts and a few more questions. It's sad, but I feel this story beginning, in a far-off, still vaguely distant sense, to end. Please stick with me to the end! Thank you, everyone!

Next: The Nickelback Saga. It's either the last one or the next-to-last one, most likely. But, of course, if enough people show their support, I'll be more than happy to continue it... okay, that was a shameless plug. I apologize. '_';