Casey and Olivia were in the viewing chamber watching Jen talk to Alex. She was talking too, gesturing with her hands, and telling jokes. Alex had pushed her glasses up onto the top of her head and was laughing, the legal pad in front of her forgotten for the time being.

"She doesn't think she's special."

For a moment Olivia was confused about whether Casey was talking about Jen or Alex. She wondered if that was true for Alex, and then realized that there was no way Casey could know something like that, and the remark had to be about Jen. Is she? were the first words Olivia thought to say, but she held her tongue.

"What do you mean?"

"She said it, 'I'm nothing.' But look at her! She's making Alex laugh, during an interview. Alex doesn't laugh."

Yes she does. Olivia thought irritably, but then thought about it. She hadn't seen Alex much in the last year, but from what she had seen and heard, she didn't think Alex was doing a lot of laughing.

"I see."

"What are we going to do with her? Put up flyers? One well-adjusted, ex-prostitute teenager, free to good home."

Olivia chuckled slightly. The screening process for pet owners seemed to be better than the one for potential foster parents.

"She deserves a future."

Casey sounded incredibly vehement and Olivia looked at her oddly. How invested was she in this girl?

"Have you thought about taking her?"

Casey froze and then closed her eyes, seeing something on the inside of her head. Olivia wondered what excuses she'd come up with. She had dibs on the single and too busy ones. "I wish I could."

Olivia frowned, not liking that tone of voice. It sounded like she had given this some thought and it was something she actually did want to do. It would never work. Olivia knew that already. Jen would walk all over her.

"But I would be a hypocrite, if I tried."

"Why?"

Casey wouldn't meet her eyes and stared at the linoleum instead. "I'm attracted to her. I can't honestly say that adopting her would lead to anything but another abusive situation."

"Casey… You're not a rapist. You're not like them."

"Are we that different in our hearts?"

"It's your actions that tell a criminal from a citizen!"

Casey looked away, and somehow Olivia knew. She just knew it. "Casey… What happened?"

"I kissed her," she murmured. "I kissed her yesterday. I don't know how it happened, I just wanted to comfort her."

"That is not okay!"

"I know that! She's a minor! And a victim! And the last thing I want to do is hurt her more than she's been hurt already!"

"It stops now. You do not play these games or walk these lines! She's staying with me tonight."

"Wait!"

Olivia shook her head. "Even if she responded, at it's purest it's misguided hero worship."

"Oh look who's talking!" Casey spat. "What victim hasn't fallen in love with you?"

***

Alex saw Jen wandering the halls of Hogan Place when she was getting ready to go home. It was already past ten and she wondered why Casey hadn't taken her home yet. She stopped in at Casey's office and peeked in.

Casey flopped on the desk, looking miserable, her head resting on her arms.

"What are you still doing here?"

Casey looked up slowly. "Olivia's taking Jen tonight, but she got called out."

Alex frowned. "Why is she taking Jen?" Olivia talked well about wanting to take in a kid, but honestly, Alex doubted that she had the ability. Olivia wasn't very good at paying attention to the people around her. She preferred rushing off after bad guys and idealized victims.

Casey looked uncomfortable and mumbled something that sounded like, "molester-dar."

"What?"

"It's because Novak can't keep her mouth shut."

Alex turned. Jen was standing behind her, looking irritated. "About what?"

Jen shrugged. "I was trying to repay some of my debts. It's not like we even did anything."

Alex looked at Casey, raising her eyebrows interrogatively.

Casey's eyes slid away. "I kissed her."

"It's not fucking illegal!"

Alex looked sharply at Jen. "Language?"

"Well is it? Anyways, I kissed her first."

"Technically it is possible to interpret the definition of Sexual Contact to include kissing, but in practice it's a hard case to win. Especially if it's consensual."

Jen glowered at the floor. "Then what's her problem?"

Alex sighed. "Her problem is that she has difficulties seeing greys." She knew that problem well. It was the source of nearly all of their fights, the few other causes being generally linked to the legal code failing to live up to Olivia's moral code. Defense lawyers played on the greys. They used doubt and conflict to find weak spots, and exploited them. Sometimes Alex thought that it would be easier to be a defense lawyer than try and fight against that sort of attack.

Jen seemed to slump. "Well, I have trouble seeing whites. Some pair, eh?'

Alex looked at the other women, noting that they looked exhausted, and always turned away from each other. There was far too much tension around them. She checked her watch.

"Why don't we adjourn for the night and go to my apartment for tonight? If Olivia is called out this late she rarely makes it home before three."

Jen's lips quirked. "Knowledge from personal experience?"

"I suppose being awakened by icy feet at four in the morning counts as personal experience," Alex remarked dryly.

Casey's jaw dropped.

Jen frowned. "Are you guys together? 'Cause I didn't get that vibe."

"No. It was… a long time ago."

"Is that why you left SVU?"

Alex looked at Casey, wondering. "Would you be angry if I said that was one of the reasons?"

Casey shook her head. "A promotion's a promotion, even if I didn't deserve it."

Alex frowned. That wasn't what she had meant. Being thrown into the pit of horrors that was SVU couldn't be enjoyable for anyone. But Casey was more resilient than she seemed.

"You did deserve it. Though whether it was a punishment or an accolade I was never able to ascertain."

Casey snorted.

They arrived at Alex's apartment with pizza and videos in less than an hour. Alex called Olivia's cell phone, and felt an uncomfortably familiar feeling of tension when she didn't pick it up. But it really wasn't her business anymore whether Olivia was alive or dead.

"Olivia. I have taken charge of the protective custody of our star witness for the night. If I were evaluating you for your ability to take care of a child, abandoning your ward in a government building for an inestimable amount of time would not be a mark in your favor. If you are still so dramatically opposed to Casey's taking care of her tomorrow, you may regain custody for a trial period."

When the pizza had been consumed, Jen perused the video options, and Casey retreated into the kitchen purportedly to assist with the dishes. She did not actually make an effort to pretend further, instead stood awkwardly, watching Alex.

"Maybe I should go?"

"Why?"

Casey scratched the back of her head. "I'm not supposed to be here. Olivia…"

"I am sure Olivia will trust that I am not going to put you in the same bed and close the door."

Casey flushed, and Alex suppressed a grin.

"Honestly Casey. I don't blame you. She's a beautiful girl, who is far too comfortable using her sexuality to get what she wants than a sixteen year old ought to be. It's only when she says things like 'repay my debt' that I worry."

Casey sighed. "It wasn't like that. Not really. We had a fight. I was frustrated because I wanted her and was jealous of her at the same time. And she was angry because I was treating her like a whore. She told me some things about myself that were too true, and then she told me some things about herself that were…" Casey trailed off. Alex waited. "That made me feel guilty, and stupid for being jealous, and sad… for what she had been through. I wasn't planning on kissing her. I just wanted to make it better."

"Make what better?"

Casey looked up, but away, into the distance. "She's never had consensual sex."

"She can't have consensual sex in the state of New York until she's seventeen. Especially not with an adult."

"It just doesn't seem fair."

"What doesn't?" Alex asked sharply.

"That she's been hurt so many times, with nothing else."

"It isn't fair. But you can't fix it."

Casey glared at her. "I know that. I know that if I do anything it will just be one more adult taking advantage. I told Olivia that I knew that, and she still…"

"She didn't trust you. That must have hurt."

"Why should she trust me? I can't even trust myself."

***

It looked like Jen had forgiven her for telling Olivia. Casey remembered the way she had tried so hard to hold back her tears when she said Olivia would be taking her home tonight. She had been so angry.

"You don't understand. At least while I was here I thought I could look forward to going home with you. I know you'll throw me out eventually, whether to another family, or put me in jail if I'm not 'cooperative' enough, but if this was it… If this was it, at least I could pretend…"

She had promised, promised, promised that they were going to make sure she would be okay afterwards. But she was sure Jen knew she was promising something she had no confidence in her ability to make come true.

Still, Jen was snuggling up to her on the couch. Casey could feel Alex watching them, and she wanted to stay tense. But she finally gave in and let her arm slip around Jen's waist to pull her closer.

Jen tucked her head into Casey's shoulder and made sarcastic comments about the movie they were watching. Casey wanted to kiss her. It was funny, how Casey was still utterly attracted to Jen even when she was being her most childish. But when she was dressed up and sexy Casey felt intimidated by her, and she wanted to fuck her to bring her back down to Casey's level. But when she was acting her age, being unconsciously affectionate, snarky, charming or vulnerable, Casey needed to kiss her, if only because she wanted to remember what it was like to be sixteen… what sixteen was supposed to be like.

Casey had been a senior at sixteen, already used to being ignored and disliked by everyone for being too young and too smart. She had begun to feel like she didn't fit in in her family, didn't want what her dad wanted for her. It had made things uncomfortable at home too. And through sideways means, like gossip and a taste for vampire fiction, she had started to realize that the things she wanted, the things she fantasized about, were absolutely wrong. So she kept silent. She felt like she hadn't spoken that entire year.

Luckily Alex had some short pajamas, or Casey would be tripping over her dangling pant legs all night. She wasn't quite sure when she had been convinced to stay over, except that when she had suggested that it might be time for her to go, Alex had given her a look that said clearly, "do you know what time it is? And do you remember what happened the last time you went walking out at night like this?"

Casey did remember, and meekly got ready for another night on the couch, albeit this time not her own.

Jen came in, still wet from the shower, disinterestedly drying her hair.

"You washed your hair?" asked Casey.

Jen gave her a grin. "She has better stuff than you."

Casey laughed and tried to not look when Jen let the towel slip to the floor to prowl through the nightclothes Alex had left out. She failed. Jen's body was long and lean, but curved, and her skin was so smooth and unblemished that it looked like she had been carved from ivory.

"Fuck, why do you look so good naked." The words spilt from her lips, and Casey wished she felt more humiliated by saying them, but she couldn't be. Not when they were so absolutely true.

"Yeah?" Jen straightened up, turning towards her. "Which angle do you like best?" She turned, showing off the curve of her breasts, the line of her shoulder, dappled with damp strands of hair, the twist of her torso as she turned, and the curve of her spine.

"That one."

Jen stopped. "The back?"

Casey swallowed, trying to control the moisture in her mouth.

"Alex read me the rules, you know. The back is not off-limits."

"Do you want…?"

"I always want you, Casey. And if it takes me a year I am going to break you down until I have you."

It was hard to breathe, harder still to move, but somehow Casey found herself so close, brushing the shock of dark hair over Jen's shoulder so nothing would impede her, and then gently planting a kiss right below her shoulder. Jen's body shuddered, and Casey let her fingers come to rest on her sides, slowly stroking downwards as she kissed her again, between her shoulderblades and then ran her tongue along the curve of her spine to the small of her back. She felt Jen start to crumble, and caught her, fingers splayed over her sides, and pushing her towards the guest bed. Jen fell over it, and Casey's hands slid down to cup her ass. She couldn't help sinking her teeth into the pale white flesh and Jen groaned, long and difficult. Casey pushed her nose into the crack and then her tongue and Jen yelped.

"Shit! Casey! What are you-?"

Casey jerked away and covered her face horrified. "I'm sorry!" she squeaked. Jen rolled over and rubbed the bite-mark with a wince.

"That, I'm afraid, is off-limits." Jen grinned. "Unless you really feel up to Olivia prosecuting you for deviant sexual intercourse."

Casey mumbled something incomprehensible and staggered backwards until she could lean against the wall. Jen found a shirt to pull on.

"Really, give an inch and you'll take a mile." Jen gave her another look that was almost dangerous. "This is going to be easier than I thought."

***

Jen couldn't sleep in Alex's cold uncomfortable guest room sheets, thinking about what Casey had done to her. She had covered it up well, but she had never been quite as terrified and turned on as she had then. She had no idea that that was even an option. But it was fucking hot, and the fact that Casey couldn't keep herself from doing it, was even hotter.

Casey was gone in the morning. Jen looked at the folded blanket on the couch and then at Alex, who was breathing in her coffee like it was peyote.

"She left?"

"Crack of dawn."

Jen nodded and took the coffee that Alex offered. "Does this mean I have to wear your clothes?"

Alex gave her an oddly suspicious look, then a more thoughtful one. "Do you have a lot of things… at that house?"

Jen shrugged. "Not much. We had our collections, things we scrounged up from here and there. We all got new clothes the week before the inspector came."

"Would you like to go back for some things?"

'No." Jen's voice was short and sharp.

"No one you want to say goodbye to?"

"No." Jen frowned. "You don't get it, do you? You can't just say because I'm not totally screwed up it means that I had a normal life. I didn't have a life. I wasn't a person. I was just waiting, waiting for it to be over, waiting until I couldn't stand it and would just throw myself in front of a bus. I tried to lose myself for a while. If I was distracted I didn't feel sick. If I was angry, I couldn't be sad. And if I hated those kids, I couldn't pity myself, because I was a shitty person who deserved it."

"I understand."

Jen blinked.

"I was in witness protection for six months. It wasn't three years, but it could have been. I know what it's like to be waiting for your life to start again."

"Did it start back up when you got back?"

"No."

Jen nodded. The coffee, black and thick like tar, coated the insides of her mouth with bitterness.

***