A/N: Alright, I keep getting distracted from 'Of Pon Farr and Hover Bikes'. I was feeling ill and uncreative but then I saw the angsty prompt on the LJ kinkmeme about "5 conversations Gaila never got to have" and I just had to do, get the angst out of my system. I'll finish awkward Vulcan bonding soon, I promise. I've even got a bonus chapter in the works! Rated T for minor reference to sexytimes and contains much angst. Separated into little, easily readable chapters for your pleasure!

Disclaimer: Do not, will not ever own this. You can try to sue me but it'd be illogical.

Gaila heard somewhere that when you die, your entire life flashes before your eyes. At the time it sounded kind of amazing, because fuck, if she's going to die then she'll have some fantastic memories to see her into the beyond. She's done a lot (of people, of things) in her life, and she's going to do a hell of a lot more.

Except when she's cuddled in the corner of the Farragut, watching as the hull slowly comes apart piece by piece (it's not slow at all, it's really fast and so many lives are blinked out of existence in nanoseconds but time drags on when it's the last you've got) it doesn't pan out that way. There's no flashes of the great times she's had, no warm, encompassing glow and sated feeling of being loved.

Whoever started peddling that lie really needs to rethink their theory.

But what she does get, what flies through her mind as she's bracing herself for that one last hit that's going to tear everything apart, is regret. There's so many things that she wanted to do, people she had on her list so creatively titled 'people to do' and a whole universe out there she planned on seeing. But most of all, there were things she wanted to say. Things that she figured she would have the time to say, after all this is done.

She never expected to be warping into a Romulan trap.

Everyone else in Engineering is dead. It happened so fast that none of them stood a chance. It was only her quick thinking, her instincts that propelled her underneath the tubes and out of the blast, that bought her these precious few seconds. She tried to think of something she could do to help before she spotted the crack appearing in the metallic wall. They're all doomed, and all she has are her thoughts.

And they go like this.