Where the Hell Did the Stargate Go?

By Ironyheartsap; aka Amanda

And before I begin, thanks to all of you who reviewed my first crossover/first Stargate SG-1/Doctor Who crossover "I Love Bananas" who helped convince me to write a sequel. So thanks for the support guys!

Okay, a quick summary and note before I get to the actual story. Some of you might be wondering why this is called "Where did the Stargate Go?" as the title on the display page and "Where the Hell Did the Stargate Go?" here (inside the story). The answer is simple: I didn't want to put the "Hell" in because I didn't want to stain the innocence of some child who accidentally came upon the Doctor Who/Stargate SG-1 page, ergo the poor child becomes emotionally scared for life and will need therapy for years to come. It's ever so nice of me to think of those poor children, isn't it? :D But back to the real note... It's sort of important, so I'd suggest you read it... especially since I'm not going to be giving you answers to the questions you ask and the answers are given here. So read it if you want to or skip it. It's your choice... (the sensei part of me is saying, "Choose wisely, young ones" :D).

The Doctor is traveling with Martha and Captain Jack Harkness sometime after he removes Donna's memories and all that other stuff that happened in the end of Season Three (it was Season Three, right?). He has a nagging feeling that something is wrong and later discovers why. If you haven't guessed already, this takes place during Continuum. I thought it was a completely obvious idea for a fanfic (since the time-travel and alternate-timelines) , but since I haven't seen it I decided on writing it myself. I'm pretty much winging it... meaning I'm not sure if I'm going to stick with writing in third person or write some in first person and/or if I'll just stay with a general POV or switch between characters. Torchwood might play a role in this story; albeit a small one if any. And this is obviously NOT going to be a one-shot, but an actual story with multiple chapters (as for the amount... it just depends on how much detail I want to put; definitely more than five, though). And "Where the Hell Did the Stargate Go?" is not in anyway related to my first Doctor Who/Stargate SG-1 fanfic/oneshot, "I Love Bananas", meaning Sam and Daniel haven't met the Doctor, Martha, or Captain Jack Harkness before and vice versa. It's rated T for the following reasons: a) Captain Jack is in it (therefore there will be comments that may be inappropriate for small children :D), b) the whole destroying the Earth, the killing, and the blowing stuff up (basically all the action, aka the good stuff), but mostly 3) I'm paranoid (I'm taking a "better safe than sorry" attitude). Anyway, I think that about covers it. If there's something that I forgot to mention, just let me know and I'll try my best to answer you. So thank you for reading "The Stupid Quick Note For You People That Didn't Skip It Unlike Most People" and please enjoy your reading experience.

Oh, one more thing to cover; the stupid and pretty pointless disclaimer. I don't own Doctor Who or Stargate SG-1 and probably won't for the remainder of the story, so this is your onetime disclaimer (unless I'm in the mood to put up the disclaimer again in some sarcastic way, of course :D) Now you are free to enjoy your reading experience.

Chapter One: Something Amiss

The Doctor hit a button on the console of his TARDIS. He, along with his current two companions, Martha Jones and Captain Jack Harkness (the Doctor knew that Jack just liked the title, and he supposed it did suite him, though he would not dare tell him that) were going back to early twenty-first century Earth. He looked at the screen on the TARDIS, and then shouted in aggravation, "No, no, no! That's not right!"

"What's wrong?" Martha asked, concerned. She really hoped that they weren't being chased through time and space (again), that the TARDIS had been seized by those Weeping Angels (again), flown all the way to the end of the universe (again, and that was not a place any of them wanted to ever go back to), or suddenly decide to take off and go to some planet (again, but there usually were good reasons that the TARDIS took control and went to some coordinates that the Doctor didn't enter).

"Nothing to worry about," the Doctor said, noticing the concern in Martha's voice.

"So what's all the hubbub about then?" asked Jack. The Doctor hit another button before answering. Although hit might not be the appropriate word. Slam maybe; but hit was too passive.

"The TARDIS is giving me some trouble," he said, and then added after seeing the expressions of his companions, "yes, again."

"Where's it trying to send us?" Jack asked, always ready for action. "Hopefully not that one planet where we-" Jack was cut off by the Doctor.

"No, nothing like that," the Doctor said, really not wanting to hear Jack recall that peculiar experience, especially at this moment. He knew that Jack and Martha would want more details and would ask for them, so he skipped that stage and went and told them the details. "We're still en route to Earth-"

"The right time period, right, Doc?" Jack asked, using his nickname for the Doctor. The Doctor took a moment from fiddling with buttons and other mechanisms on the TARDIS console to glare at Jack for cutting him off.

"Yes, the right time!" the Doctor said, much harsher than he intended. What's wrong with me today? the Doctor thought. He couldn't quite put a finger on it, but something was off. And that something was really bothering him. Although the Doctor wasn't sure that it was what was off that was bothering him or the fact that he didn't know what was off.

"Sorry," the Doctor apologized to his friend. Then he went on to explain what the TARDIS was currently doing. Not scientifically of course; the science to the TARDIS would be too difficult for the humans accompanying him to understand. The science of the Time Lords' were the most advanced and complex sciences in the universe.

"We're headed towards Earth in the right time period- well about the right time period," the Doctor admitted. It was difficult to be certain with the TARDIS. There had been countless times when the TARDIS had accidentally taken them to the wrong time (luckily it usually remained in the margin of twenty years or so). "We're just a bit off corse- she wants us to go to some stupid mountain in America instead of Cardiff."

"Martha, could you hit that thing right there twice?" the Doctor asked, pointing to some metal plate. "And Jack... just don't touch anything." Jack frowned; the Doctor obviously hadn't gotten over the last incident. He was about to protest, insisting that it was an accident, but the shaking of the TARDIS came first. Everyone quickly held on to something. The Doctor was now grinning.

"There!" he exclaimed. "That's more like it! Cardiff in sometime in 2008- well, at least I think so." Again, the Doctor could never be entirely certain about places and particularly times with his TARDIS. She did have a mind of her own after all.

"Already, then?" the Doctor said, still grinning. He grabbed his light brown trench coat and walked outside of the inconspicuous blue police box that his TARDIS had taken a liking to for some reason. He had tried dozens of times to coax the TARDIS to change disguises, but if she insisted on staying a stupid fat blue box, that was her problem. Just as long as they stayed unnoticed, the Doctor really didn't care which disguise his TARDIS took. And admittedly, the Doctor had grown used to the blue police box. It was his trademark or something. And it was definitely not as presumptuous as some exotic giant, or maybe not so giant, spaceship that was clearly alien. Besides, it was always funny to see the way people reacted to a space-timeship that was "bigger on the inside", as almost every human- and many nonhumans- had pointed out to him.

"Are you lot coming?" the Doctor asked.

"Of course! I would never pass up a stop to twenty-first century Earth. Now I know why you like this place so much... the food, the entertainment, and the men and woman..." Jack said while stepping out of the TARDIS and was checking out a couple walking past them, completely oblivious of their presence. Then his face lost a little bit of it's playful grin on it. "Plus I probably should check on my team," Jack said with a tone that made you unsure as whether or not he was looking forward to the visit. "I told you I'd show you my Torchwood, right?" The Doctor's grimace at the name of Torchwood did not go unnoticed by Jack. "They're nice. You'll like 'em. Though I should go ahead first and let them know you're coming to visit. Hopefully I wasn't gone too long- last time they held a grudge for a pretty long time when I hitched a ride."

"Yes," Martha said, with a smile on her face. "I need to go and see my family and..."

"Your fiance?" the Doctor asked with a smile.

"Well, yeah," Martha admitted with a tiny blush.

"I'm expecting an invitation to the wedding, you know," the Doctor told Martha, and after seeing her reaction, he added, "I'll need to get a new suit. Whenever I wear that one something bad always happens."

"Yeah, blame the suite," Jack said playfully. The Doctor was about to respond, but he once again got the feeling something was wrong. But what? he asked himself.

"Doctor, are you alright?" Martha asked, concerned, when the Doctor just stopped in his tracks while walking.

"I don't know," he said carefully. Martha and Jack were perplexed. Did Time Lords get sick? they both wondered. Then he looked Martha and Jack in the eye. "Don't you feel it?" the Doctor asked softly.

"Feel what?" Jack and Martha asked, confused.

"I don't know..." the Doctor said, letting his voice trail off. "Something's off, not right. I can't quite place my finger on it, though." The Doctor shook his head. "You two go along, meet me back at the TARDIS in a couple hours, 'kay?"

"You're not coming?" Jack asked, his eyes showing a hint of surprise. Twenty-first Century Earth was the Doctor's favorite time and place. Whatever it was that was "off" must really be bothering him.

"Sorry, Jack," the Doctor said with a sympathetic smile. "Raincheck, okay?" Jack reluctantly agreed. "And Martha, say hi to the family for me please." Martha also nodded. The Doctor walked back into the TARDIS and saw his friends watching him carefully with worry.

"Don't worry. I'm just going to check up on a few things. Have fun," he said, trying to ease their concern. Then the Doctor looked right at Jack and told him, "And be good." It was a precautionary measure. Jack had a habit of getting himself into trouble. Jack put on his innocent face that the Doctor was able to see completely through by now.

"Well, off you go," the Doctor said when he noticed that Martha and Jack were still there. They reluctantly nodded and started off in their way, but not before sharing a glance.

"Okay, Doc," Jack said, knowing that the Doctor needed time alone to settle whatever it was that was bothering him. "If you need anything, just ring." The playful smile was back on Jack's face. He didn't want his friend to see how worried he truly was.

"The same goes for me," Martha said, also clearly concerned for their friend. The Doctor gave a slight nod. Martha and Jack returned the nod and headed off their own ways to see their friends and family. The Doctor closed the door on the TARDIS. He sat down for a moment, thinking everything through. Yes, something was definitely wrong, but what? The Doctor got up, intent on finding the answer, especially since it involved his favorite planet.

Something was wrong, he was completely sure of it. As of what exactly was wrong, well he hadn't quite figured that part out yet. But he would. The Doctor was determined. And nobody can stop the Doctor once he has dedicated himself to something. Nobody in the entire universe, and nobody from other universes too. He wasn't called the "Oncoming Storm" for nothing. Yes, the Doctor would discover what was wrong. And he would fix it. There was no doubt at all about that in his mind as he set off to find what was wrong. Because after all, you need to know what is wrong in order to fix it. Luckily the Doctor was an expert at both.

Okay, I hope you enjoyed your reading experience for Chapter One: Something Amiss in "Where the Hell Did the Stargate Go?". Not much happened in this chapter, I know, but I need a way to build up to the action. The next chapters will be more exciting (hopefully). And please do press that little review button. It lets me know that people are enjoying this story so I know that I should update this one instead of the other fanfics I'm working on. Thanks in advance and thanks for putting up with my sarcastic a** today. :P

Random Quotes/ Smiles of the Day :D

**These are just quotes and other things I find funny that may or may not hold relevance to the chapter. I usually add them in the end of each chapter. They're always different, too, by the way. And if you have some funny quote, joke, or something like that tell me it in a review or PM me and I'll add it. Today's "Random Quotes/Smiles of the Day :D" are centered around sarcasm since I'm in a sarcastic mood... I think I've mellowed out though.**

"I grew up in an environment of jokes and sarcasm and puns. I talk that way, so I write that way." ~Allan Sloan

"Sarcasm: Intellect on the offensive" ~Anonymous

"Sarcasm keeps you from telling people what you really think about them." ~Anonymous (Please be kind and do the same for me... :P)