Well hi, it's me :)

I thought I'd introduce my one-shot.

This is a ZackXCloud so anyone who's against the pairing please don't read it. I love Zack and his antics, he always drags Cloud into it too XD at least something good comes out of it for him this time.

There is a little strong language, that's about it apart from a little fluff. I actually wrote this a while ago, I know it's not St. Patrick's Day right now but it was close enough when I started it, and I'm thinking about putting some of my other stories from dA onto here if it sounds like a good idea.

Disclaimer: I own none of these characters. If I did, Zack sure as hell would still be alive.

Enjoy!


"Top o' the mornin' Cloud!" the blond woke up with a fright and his eyes shot open to look at the intruder -who was standing in the middle of the room bent over with laughter, megaphone in hand- but what Cloud saw was the most bewildering and absurd thing he'd seen in his entire life, and his resolve to kill the man in front of him with his buster sword withered and died as he looked the other male up and down.

"Zack?" he asked the man groggily and blinked a few times to make sure he wasn't hallucinating, "what, in the name of Shiva, are you wearing?" Cloud continued to study the older man, with complete confusion and gave up trying to work out what was going on when he registered Zack's whole outfit. His dark hair was covered by a large green top hat, a green overcoat covered his tight black t-shirt and he wore bright green jeans, yet the raven man raised an eyebrow at the blond in an 'isn't-it-obvious?' look receiving a 'no-and-you're-a-fucking-idiot-if-you-think-you-look-normal' look back.

"Why, it's saint Patrick's day my dear spiky!" Zack said smiling, "and I left Sephiroth a little present so we've got to go see if he got it," the smile turned evil at his own thoughts and Cloud sighed, he just knew this was going to end badly.

"I'm not leaving here with you looking like that regardless of the day." Cloud stated firmly, folding his arms across his chest.

"Oh come on blondie it's traditional to wear green," Zack complained, but the look on Cloud's face showed no sign of budging from his decision and the raven threw his hands up in defeat -thankfully not letting go of the megaphone- "ok fine but I am wearing green and so are you," he said before walking out of the door so Cloud couldn't protest and returning to his own room down the hall.

Zack returned wearing normal black jeans and a black vest covered by a dark green, chequered, button-up shirt, -the top two buttons left undone and the sleeves rolled up to his elbows- and found Cloud sprawled once again asleep, face down in bed, and he grinned evilly "hey Cloud," he said quietly, climbing onto the blonde's bed silently but received no response "time to get up spiky" and the blond grumbled as he buried his face in his pillow. Zack carefully straddled the blond and leaned down slowly until his lips brushed the boy's ear softly "rise and shine sleeping beauty," Zack whispered and Cloud shuddered before fully turning over and facing the raven, his cheeks painted tomato red when he noticed just how close Zack was.

"What are you doing?!" the blond stuttered and Zack raised his eyebrow.

"Making myself comfortable," he said and pressed his full weight onto the younger male and cupped Cloud's wrists in his hands pressing them to the bed so the blond could only struggle "now isn't this better?" Zack said smirking.

"Z-Zack, get off me or I swear on Bahamut-"

"You'll what blondie?" He asked and slowly lowered his face so that the two were only an inch apart "is there a problem with me being here?" the raven asked and Cloud swallowed loudly but didn't answer and Zack smirked again "time to get your lazy ass out of bed," he said and let go of the blonde's wrists, Cloud sighed with relief before Zack quickly placed a chaste kiss on the blonde's lips and got off the bed "and I mean it, wear something green or I'll come in here and dress you myself," he said, and looked back at the wide eyed blond before walking out of the door, smirking as he went to sit and wait.

Cloud finally appeared in the living room in blue jeans and a tight black t-shirt covered with a pale green jumper. "So what did you do to Sephiroth?" Cloud asked as the two men walked out of his apartment and towards the general's headquarters. Zack gave a cunning grin at Cloud's question and giggled.

"You'll have to wait and see." Cloud knew that look, and he frowned.

"Zack, this isn't another one of your pranks is it?" the blond sighed "you know, Sephiroth really is going to kill you one of these days."

"Seph can't kill me, his life would be incomplete without me," Cloud rolled his eyes as Zack spoke, ignoring his words entirely, "a part of his soul would disappear and he'd live the rest of his life in regret because he'll miss me so much and cry out to the heavens 'oh Zack, I'm so sorry I murdered you, I wish you were still here, so I will take this long ass sword I carry and drive it through my heart so I can be with you again'."

"I don't know about those feelings of remorse, but I am going to kill you." Both men jumped at the sound of the new voice and turned to find a very pissed off looking general.

"Shit!" Zack cursed and hid behind Cloud who was currently trying to keep a straight face. His SOLDIER training had prepared him for hiding his emotions… but nothing had prepared him for this.

"If it means anything Zack," Cloud said as he backed away from Sephiroth and moved so that the raven was exposed to the full wrath of the general's glare "I'll miss you when you die" the blond said before turning away and walking quickly around the corner, bursting into fits of laughter as he went and hiding so he could watch the rest of the scene unfold.

"Zack!" Sephiroth said through gritted teeth and the raven winced from the venom in that one word "give me back my jacket."

Zack shrunk further into the wall. "I can't," the raven squeaked and Sephiroth raised a questioning eyebrow "you're wearing it."

Sephiroth gave Zack another hate filled glare "you dyed my jacket green?" the raven winced again and glanced over to the other end of the corridor where he could hear Cloud laughing which distracted the general and Zack smirked as he pulled out a camera.

"Oh Sephi," the raven sang and Sephiroth looked back at Zack before the raven took a picture of the general and began sprinting down the corridor, grabbing Cloud's hand as he rounded the corner and dragging the blond with him.

"No Zack, don't get me involved in this!" Cloud complained as he was dragged, his efforts of trying to free his hand fruitless.

"If I go down you're going down with me spiky!" Zack laughed as the two turned another corner and quickly entered Zack's room, both men panting slightly.

"You're out of your mind you know that right?" Cloud said as he sat down on the raven's couch "the general's going to kill you."

Zack snickered "as long as I get these pictures framed, it's worth it," the raven said as he flicked through his digital camera, -looking at not only the picture he'd just taken, but ones from past pranks he'd pulled on a number of people- "besides, I bought him a new coat before I dyed the old one, I checked out his measurements in his personal file so it'll fit."

Cloud gave his friend an astounded look "how the hell did you get Sephiroth's file? It's classified."

Zack just smirked and tapped his nose."That would be telling my precious choco, and there's only one way you'll get that information out of me."

Cloud knew that he'd regret asking, because it would bring out some absurd answer from Zack… most likely to do with the blond being naked or in some sort of erotic and feminine outfit, because the raven always said something like that -it was the reason why Cloud wondered whether Zack was being serious or not, because as it was, Cloud had a major crush on his best friend, and Zack saying things like that always confused the hell out of him- but he had to ask anyway, the curiosity was killing him "how?"

Cloud immediately regretted asking as Zack pushed him flat against the back of the couch, straddling him, and pinned him there, his arms held above his head by Zack's hands, a bright blush quickly appearing on the blonde's face as he tried to bite back a moan from the memory of the oh so many wet dreams he'd had concerning this kind of position. "A kiss will do," Zack whispered as he smirked and Cloud's blush brightened.

Cloud scoffed "do you say that to everyone who tries to get information out of you?" the blond was rather proud of how steady he had managed to keep his voice, but all such luck of that happening the next time he spoke melted away as Zack chuckled lightly and moved even closer to the cute little blond.

"Nope, just you," he said and brushed his lips lightly across Cloud's, before licking his own lips and pressing them firmly against the blonde's. Cloud sat wide eyed and completely confused, his brain continued to fizzle to a complete stop, restricting him from kissing back, no matter how much he wanted to and Zack pulled away, pouting. "That wasn't a kiss," he complained to a still wide eyed blond who had finally registered what had just happened and just stared at the raven in front of him "how about we try this again?" Zack smirked as he once again pressed his lips to Cloud's who willingly responded.

Zack smiled into the kiss and caressed Cloud's lips with his tongue before nibbling on his bottom lip, receiving a small gasp from the blond, giving the raven his chance to delve his tongue into the blonde's hot mouth and massage their tongues together. Zack released Cloud's hands and traced his hands down the blonde's body bringing then to rest on his hips as Cloud wrapped his arms around the raven's neck, pulling him closer.

Both men were so caught up in the kiss that neither of them heard the knock on the door… or said door opening to reveal a still pissed off Sephiroth with the intentions of cutting the sneaky little hyper-active raven into small pieces. But the general stopped as he entered Zack's apartment and stared at the scene in front of him, smirking before walking over to the two, raising his sword and pointing it at the unsuspecting raven -who had completely forgotten that he was currently in deep shit- "you have something for me Zack," he said, and both men jumped as they turned to look at the general.

"Shit!" Zack said as he jumped away from the sword, managing to fall off the couch as a result, and clutched his chest "Jesus Seph you nearly gave me a heart attack, learn to kn-"

"I did knock but apparently you were too caught up playing tonsil tennis to notice." Cloud's face turned tomato red and the general smirked "now back to the point," he said and glared at Zack, "you have something I want," he said, and Zack nodded vigorously as the sword approached him again and he ran towards his bedroom, slamming the door and leaving the other two men in an uncomfortable silence -on Cloud's behalf at least- as they waited for Zack to return. Finally the raven appeared with an identical coat to the general's, thankfully for the silver haired man this one was grey rather than green and he took it from the raven without a word and exited the room, leaving Cloud and Zack to stare at the door in silence before they both turned to look at each other."Shall we continue?" Zack smirked as he advanced on Cloud again who held his hands up to stop the perverted raven.

"Are you serious?! The general just walked in on us making out on your couch!" Cloud blushed.

"It's no big deal," Zack said waving it off, "he'll only tell Angeal."

"Yeah but Angeal will tell Genesis, who will tell Rufus, who will tell Tseng, who will tell Elena, who will tell Reno and Rude." Cloud said as Zack tried not to laugh at the panicking blond "and you know what Reno's like, he'll taunt me for the rest of my life about this." Zack cupped the blonde's cheeks.

"But you see my beautiful little Cloud, I have pictures of Reno making out with Tifa at the Christmas party, so you have nothing to worry about," the raven smirked and pecked the blonde's lips.

"Since when have I been yours?" Cloud smirked but Zack only grinned.

"Ah Cloud, you've always been mine," the raven said stroking the blonde's cheeks "you just never knew it," he smiled and placed anther peck on Cloud's lips before the blond shook his head.

"I always knew I was yours Zack," Cloud smiled, and the two kissed again passionately, eventually removing each other's green clothing… and the rest of course.


A/N: I had fun with this one-shot. It's a little short compared to the chapters in my other Akuroku 'Home Is Where The Heart Is' but like a said, this is a little older than that fic.

I hope everyone liked it, reviews would be great, I always like to know what you guys think.

That's all from me.