Disclaimer: Yeah. I don't own Yami no Matsuei.

Whatever It Takes

Tsuzuki was up when he came out, clothed because he didn't want to come out in a towel if Tsuzuki had managed to wake up.

"I'm sorry I woke you," he said quietly, turning and sitting on his bed. Tsuzuki was way too beautiful when he was rumpled from sleep.

He didn't look up to see Tsuzuki's face, but he thought he knew – a little shocked at the apology, concerned, worried, and intense. He would soon act childish.

"You can get a shower if you want," Hisoka offered. "I have to practice."

"Hisoka, you should let yourself rest."

Yup. Concern. Why did it make his chest hurt? "I need to get better," was all he said.

"But why?"

Certainly Tsuzuki had been told about what they had to do to get to him? He was usually astute enough to figure it out. And why the hell was he going to answer this question? "I wasn't strong enough that time."

A brief silence. He could hear the wheels in Tsuzuki's head turning. "What time?"

Had he not been told or was he always this clueless when he first woke up? "When... when you were... taken by Muraki." The time you almost died. Please don't make me say that.

Thankfully Tsuzuki apparently knew the time period. Tsuzuki's brow furrowed. "What happened then?"

Hisoka shrugged. If Tatsumi didn't tell him... there had to be a good reason. "We had to persuade Oriya to give us a key to enter Muraki's lab." Please don't make me think about it... about the panic that increased with every heartbeat as I fought with all my might to get to you... to save you... and if it continued... I never would have won. And you would be dead.

He hadn't realized he wasn't breathing until Tsuzuki's arms wrapped around him and he heard Tsuzuki murmuring nonsense in his ear. He shuddered. "I'm sorry, Hisoka... I'm sorry..."

"No, it's okay... it's fine. You're..." You're still here. "Oh, God." How humiliating to find tears in his eyes and sobs in his throat. He fought them off with everything he had.

"Let it go, Hisoka. Let it go."

"No." He couldn't. If he let it go... he didn't know if he could stop. "Amara... Giselle's body. Did you find anything?"

Business. They had to start talking about business now or he would be lost.

Tsuzuki made a frustrated, sad sound and let go of him. Hisoka felt the loss immediately, especially the loss of Feeling Tsuzuki within him, a kind and gentle concern that felt really strong. If he hadn't been wanting it so badly, he would have labeled it love. But he knew he wanted that emotion from Tsuzuki too much to trust what his heart wanted to tell him.

There was a sigh, then finally a response. "Yes. There had been hair fibers and a piece of cloth. Extremely lucky, in the coroner's opinion. The lab guys are checking them out."

That was extremely lucky. Could they finish it that easily?

"We have to tell Amara," Hisoka said. "She has to know. She has to be stopped."

Tsuzuki didn't answer for a long time. "How will you get her to come with me around?"

Hisoka didn't know an answer to that, other than 'you need to leave me alone with her.' That wouldn't work – Tsuzuki wouldn't let him near Amara again without supervision. Which was good, because he didn't want to be around her without Tsuzuki.

"I don't know," Hisoka said finally, "but if we don't let her know, she might... do something rash."

"You mean take another child's soul?"

Hisoka shrugged. "No... she would probably not like that idea... it would take too long."

Tsuzuki shifted, and Hisoka wondered if he was nodding. "Exactly – her brother always kills himself when he's eleven."

Hisoka gasped – he hadn't known that. He almost asked Tsuzuki how he knew that when he remembered that the older Shinigami had read GuShoShin's report. "Then it would be useless," Hisoka finished.

"Then you were referring to what she may do to you."

He regretted bringing it up. Tsuzuki's voice had fallen into concern and worry again. Despite Tsuzuki's efforts to shield him from the worst of his emotions, Hisoka had always felt them loud and clear. These were like flashing neon lights – either Tsuzuki wasn't holding in his emotions or they were just too strong.

"I'll be fine," he reassured, knowing that both knew just how false that little sentence was. He'd almost died – an immortal soul had almost been erased. Tsuzuki was right to be scared to death. Hisoka just didn't want Tsuzuki to worry. "It wouldn't be your fault if something happened to me, anyway. I'm a Shinigami, too. I'm at risk every time I go out on a job." During the tense silence that followed that statement, Hisoka realized that it probably hadn't been the smartest thing he'd ever said. Who was the idiot now?

"I'm supposed to protect you, Hisoka. You're my partner." Tsuzuki's voice was low. Was that reproach in his voice? Hisoka tried to ignore the hurt that sprang up – did all who fell in love become so damn weak? He could live without the constant weakness within him. Maybe.

"I'm responsible for myself," Hisoka said, because 'I can take care of myself' would sound hollow after almost dying.

"Dammit, Hisoka-"

"Don't you dammit me, Tsuzuki!" Hisoka snapped. He reigned in his anger desperately, not wanting to blow up and lose his temper. He had a habit of saying something stupid when he let loose his anger. They were only hints... but they seemed to be slipping at a very rapid pace. "Do you think I don't know the dangers? I accepted them when I became a Shinigami. Just like you did. If you have to keep protecting me, we'll never be a team."

Hisoka left the room after a minute passed without Tsuzuki saying anything.

He met with the coroner and made his way to the labs. The men had only begun on the pieces of evidence recently because of a backlog. The piece of cloth was being analyzed to see what kind of cloth it may have come from, and the hairs were being tested for DNA. However, a man working on the hair fibers told him something that made his blood run cold.

"Detective," he was told, "I understand that you have many suspects. As far as I see in this case, the mother is one. Correct?"

Hisoka had gifted the man with no more than a grunt.

"It may be hard to indict her on anything, even with this evidence. The two live in the same house. Hair and fibers from her clothes – if, of course, these are hers – could potentially get on the body without the mother having done anything."

Shit. He hadn't thought of that.

He went back to the coroner to ask if there were any other pieces of evidence and saw Tsuzuki speaking with the man – asking if he had come in. Without Hisoka saying a word – and he was certain he made no sound entering – Tsuzuki turned to him. There was concern in his gaze, but more than that was anger. He didn't like how Hisoka had run off on him. He must have thought Hisoka was just going to go... where? Out to the sakura trees, maybe.

"Thank you," Tsuzuki said distractedly to the coroner. He then moved like a stalking predator over to Hisoka's side.

Hisoka sidestepped him and turned to the coroner. "Excuse me for one moment, sir," he said, making the man turn back around.

He flashed a look of irritation – he apparently didn't like the constant interruptions. "Yes?"

"Has any other evidence come up?"

The coroner gave him a look for a moment that told Hisoka just how intelligent the man thought he was. "No. If I find anything more, I'll let you know."

Shit. Shit! Nothing. That wasn't good.

"Hisoka, let's go."

That was not a suggestion and did not pretend to be. It was in his head to tell Tsuzuki to shove off, but the words never left his mouth. Instead he sighed and allowed Tsuzuki to lead the way.

No sooner had the door closed than Tsuzuki rounded on him. "Why did you come here alone?"

"You didn't seem ready to admit I had a point," Hisoka said surly. He put his hands in his pockets and turned away. His head was up, however, and he had his eyes closed. Defiance. It saved his dignity.

Tsuzuki... growled. Hisoka momentarily wondered just how far he was pushing his partner.

He almost got scared when Tsuzuki backed him up against the building, a threatening presence that was ignored by those around them. "Do you know what happened last night?"

Hisoka got scared for a moment, thinking they'd done more than sleep. He couldn't remember it.

"You screamed." That relaxed Hisoka for only a millisecond – then he saw where this was going. "You begged. You clung to me and pleaded with me not to go. You cried, Hisoka." Tsuzuki's eyes were so sorrow-laden with that sentence it was a wonder the Shinigami didn't cry himself.

Hisoka felt himself grow cold. He hadn't cried since the first week, back when the dreams had been new. He felt dread creep through him. No.

"You held me tight the entire time – you didn't let me move. Even after you'd fallen back asleep, you'd continued crying. Continued begging. You told me..." Here Tsuzuki actually seemed to choke on the words he was trying to say. "You told me you would rather take my place... as a sacrifice for Muraki."

Hisoka... froze. He had frozen at Tsuzuki's words before, but this was different. This was... he had practically confessed. He had never said those words... hadn't even thought them. Yet they rang too true to ignore.

Hisoka waited with tense breath, his heart heavy. Waited for Tsuzuki to say whatever was coming next. He feared Tsuzuki then more than he ever thought he could.

"Are you truly all right? Can you say that with an honest heart?"

No! You almost betrayed us all – I almost lost you! You... how could I ever trust you to be alone when I'll never know if... if you're trying to...

Hisoka couldn't look Tsuzuki in the eye when he answered. "Yes." He yelled when Tsuzuki began to argue. "I have to be, dammit!"

There was a silence again. "No, Hisoka," Tsuzuki murmured, a low tone full of sorrow and understanding. "You don't."

I'm afraid, Hisoka realized, not only of losing Tsuzuki because of Muraki or some enemy... but also by being pushed away. He shivered.

"You need to rest," Tsuzuki said suddenly, pulling away from the conversation. Hisoka would have snapped a retort... but really? He did need to rest. He was dead on his feet... pun not intended.

"No." He willed himself to shove away his exhaustion. After the mission. After the mission he could rest. If he had the ability. "The evidence may not be enough. The hair and cloth could get on... Giselle's body at any time. It wouldn't be enough."

"Kill her."

Hisoka turned quickly. Amara stood there, staring at them. "She must be killed. I need your body for that." She stepped forward, a young ghost with tears in her eyes. Hisoka took a step back. Tsuzuki asked him what was wrong. "He is not here. Your friend will not harm you. This must be done."

"No." Hisoka took another step back as Amara advanced. "We'll find a way-"

"I have already found one." Amara came forward again, her hands moving from her sides. Hisoka found himself panicking as he stepped away again.

Tsuzuki stepped in front of him and firmly stood between Amara and Hisoka. Amara shrieked and disappeared. Hisoka could still Feel her nearby, but now he couldn't see her.

"Hisoka-"

"Dammit, Tsuzuki, you idiot! What were you thinking?" Hisoka went around Tsuzuki to try to find Amara. He had no idea where she could attack from... and she had sounded mad at Tsuzuki. She may decide to try to get Tsuzuki out of the way.

"I was trying to protect you. What are you doing?"

"She's still here. She's still here and I can't find her. You idiot!" Hisoka glanced up in time to see a flash of hurt in Tsuzuki's gaze before it disappeared. The man had had many years to perfect that technique. Hisoka hated it. "She may attack from anywhere."

"Sorry." If Tsuzuki had wanted to sound contrite, he'd failed. What he sounded was miserable.

Hisoka's anger lasted another two seconds.

"Dammit." He looked around again, trying to pinpoint the emotions he Felt. He thought he Felt something more on his left. He followed it.

And collapsed on his fifth step.

"Hisoka! Hisoka!" There was panic somewhere. He recognized the voice and took solace from it. He would be just fine.

He was on his bed when he awoke.

His desk had been newly wrecked by the sleeping form in the chair next to him. Why was Tsuzuki so beautiful? Why was he the one to awaken him from his emptiness?

He'd been content in there. No upheaval, no pain. Sometimes he wanted to damn Tsuzuki for bringing him out. Other times... other times he was so grateful he could weep. These emotions, though painful and exhausting, were what he had never thought he'd feel. Friendship, camaraderie... love. He had thought those emotions were never his to have. He had friends now... so many more than he would have thought. Even the irritating Saya and Yuma. They were... friends. Watari... Tatsumi... Tsuzuki.

It was his own problem that he wanted more from Tsuzuki. After all, what he had was more than he'd dared to dream. He should be content.

But he wanted to be seen as more than an irritating kid, a bossy partner. Oh, yes. He wanted so much more than just that.

He stared at Tsuzuki in wonder. He'd slept again. Pfft. He'd passed out again. Luckily, his regenerative powers had finally healed him back up. He was officially back in action.

Tsuzuki looked exhausted. Hisoka feared his partner was so tired... because of him. There really was no other reason. Between his nightmares and his weakness... Tsuzuki had to run interference. He was still getting in Tsuzuki's way. God, he was pathetic.

Shit. He was getting depressed again. He had to get out of there. Introspection was always a bad idea with him. It only served to dredge up bad memories.

Hisoka rose slowly, but Tsuzuki was sleeping like a rock. Apparently he'd been so tired he'd put his guard down around Hisoka's nightmares. That was unlike Tsuzuki.

Instead of going out and practicing with his shinai, Hisoka found himself watching Tsuzuki sleep. Even in repose, Tsuzuki looked tired and sad. Hisoka hated that he'd been a part of that.

Not for the first time, Hisoka thought of leaving Tsuzuki. Of transferring or just... leaving. But he couldn't. He couldn't leave Tsuzuki... he couldn't drop his desire for vengeance or to continue seeing this dark-haired Shinigami. And he couldn't leave... in case Tsuzuki truly did find himself in Hisoka's heart. That was why, no matter what... he had to continue existing. He just couldn't bring himself to leave, despite what he may be doing to Tsuzuki.

Feeling selfish, he finally grabbed his shinai and escaped to the cherry blossoms.

He just stood there.

So many memories... some not even his own. So many swirling around these cherry blossoms. Tsuzuki was over here all the time. Did he find solace in these flowers? It was stupid, but Hisoka held a small fear of these flowers. They reminded him when he didn't want to remember.

So many memories of these trees... how many people had he met spoke about a cataclysmic event around these beautiful blossoms? These trees were cursed for their beauty.

Hisoka heard footsteps and knew immediately who it was. "You finally woke up."

"Oooohh, I'm hungry." A usual complaint.

"Granny's Kitchen?" Hisoka knew Tsuzuki would be completely useless without food. There was no use fighting it.

"Nah. I'll just grab something on the way. We're going back to the coroner's, right?"

Hisoka nodded. "Right. We have to find a way to resolve this. And quick."

"You're still a target, even though you've probably healed. You need to be careful-"

"Me? You threw yourself in front of me yesterday. Do you have any idea how pissed you made her?!" Hisoka turned to Tsuzuki in anger in time to see his surprise.

"Hisoka... are you worried about me?"

Hisoka blushed bright red. "Sh-Shut up! Idiot!" He turned away to pick up his shinai.

"Aww, Hisoka, that's so sweet! Thank you!"

"Shut up! I'm not sweet!" What the hell? Tsuzuki usually had the sense to drop this subject.

"Aww, yes you are. Saya and Yuma are right. You're so cute! Especially when you're angry," Tsuzuki added, seeing the steam rise from Hisoka's ears.

If he thought that last comment was going to save him, he was dead wrong. "Shut the hell up, Tsuzuki! I'm not cute! Stop treating me like a kid!"

There was that shocked expression again. It made Tsuzuki's handsome face almost comical. "Hisoka..."

Hisoka turned away from him. He hadn't meant to say that. He wanted to earn Tsuzuki's respect, not have Tsuzuki pretending. Damn his stupid mouth. "Come on. We have to get to the coroner's quickly so that we can plan our next move, and knowing you, it will be hours before we get there."

"Aw, come on, Hisoka! You don't have to be so mean about it!" Tsuzuki followed after him until he was next to Hisoka.

It was Hisoka's turn to hide the hurt. He was still being cold, wasn't he? Could he ever get it out of his system? Would he end up...

No. No! He wouldn't repeat what he'd thought after... after killing Tsubaki. He would never repeat that thought. And he would continue secretly praying that Muraki was wrong. That Hisoka was truly nothing like Muraki.

It turned out to be exactly an hour-and-a-half before Tsuzuki and Hisoka entered the coroner's office. Hisoka thought he heard the man sigh. He Felt his frustration in waves. They didn't even have to ask the man anything. "No, sirs, nothing has changed. The clothing is being checked out by the police. The hair has been identified as the mother's. That is all I can tell you."

Hisoka's face was blank as he thanked the doctor and walked out.

"The only choice we have," Hisoka muttered once they were out of the building, "is to bring Shilah up against his mother."

Tsuzuki frowned at the idea. "He'll be scared."

Hisoka nodded. "He may not agree to it. And even if he does... his mother may threaten him, causing him to clam up."

"He can't help it," Tsuzuki murmured sadly. "That woman has beaten fear into every pore of that kid."

Hisoka knew the type. He thought Tsuzuki did, too. Fear and even self-loathing. Would Shilah loathe himself if he put his own mother in jail? Or would he loathe himself anyway, for not being able to save his sister? Hisoka didn't want to put the kid in that position. However... it wasn't legally possible for Shinigami to send someone to the Underworld until their time had come.

Wait.

Hisoka looked at Tsuzuki again with a new fervor. "I can't believe this slipped past us," Hisoka said. Tsuzuki raised an eyebrow. "We don't have to send the woman to jail. We just need her to stay away from the kid."

Tsuzuki nodded. "True."

Hisoka began feeling success run through his system. "The mother's skin was found under the girl's fingers, wasn't it?"

Tsuzuki nodded. "Yes, but-"

"That means there was a struggle involving the mother, right? One bad enough for the daughter to scratch her mother in an attempt to hold her off."

Tsuzuki seemed to be catching on. "Yes." Tsuzuki snapped his fist into his open palm. "That's why the coroner told us that the mother couldn't be held in court. He was telling us to do this."

"That's right. We don't need to send her anywhere. We just need to keep her away from Shilah."

Tsuzuki smiled. "And this way, Shilah wouldn't have to stand against his mother."

Hisoka nodded. "Let's get to the coroner's, then see Amara. We'll have to meet the mother again, as well. She'll be informed by us and taken to the police station. They'll make sure she stays away from the kid."

The coroner was actually happy to see them when he heard what they wanted. He willingly put the report on his top priority list and got it completed before noon. They were late picking it up due to the third helping of dessert Tsuzuki indulged in. Hisoka paid for it himself, grumbling about the waste. And secretly happy to see Tsuzuki smiling.

They went to the back of a building and showed themselves. Hisoka ordered Tsuzuki back, which began a bickering argument.

"Hisoka, I'm not going to leave you alone to deal with this," Tsuzuki finally said. "Period."

Hisoka wanted to argue. The idiot was going to get in the way and get himself hurt. Then again, he considered, wasn't that was Hisoka did more often than not?

Hisoka turned in disgust and called out for Amara. "Amara, come out. We have a way to get your brother away from your mother and erase this endless circle."

There was nothing for a bit but Tsuzuki's worry and lingering irritation. Then there she was, this time the anger in her stronger than the sorrow. Hisoka took a few steps closer to Tsuzuki, ready to defend him. Tsuzuki's emotions easily told Hisoka that Tsuzuki knew what his protective posture meant.

Suddenly Hisoka had a bad feeling about doing this. Not about telling her, and not about getting a restraining order on the mother and taking Shilah away from her. He was worried about Amara's initial reaction – about what she may do to the document Hisoka held protectively in his pocket.

Hisoka turned to Tsuzuki and gave him the document. "Tsuzuki, I..." Tsuzuki looked shocked by Hisoka's sudden antics. Hisoka was blushing terribly, not willing to admit this. "I made a mistake," he snapped, his voice suddenly irritable. Gods, he hated saying that. "I need you to take this to the police and get the restraining order." Tsuzuki opened his mouth to make a vehement protest. "Tsuzuki, we can't afford to lose this. I know what she does now. I can talk reason into her."

"Hisoka, she's been insane for over a century. I can't take that chance." Tsuzuki stood, stubborn as a bloody mule.

"You have to. After you get the restraining order on file in the police station, you can come back here if you don't trust me." His voice hardened even more at the thought of that. "But you have to go. We can't afford to lose that."

Tsuzuki knew that full well. Tsuzuki's eyes were doors to the war going on in his mind.

"You have to go!" Hisoka snapped, watching as Amara stepped forward. Her fury was rising as she heard Hisoka speak. "Now!"

Tsuzuki stared deep into his eyes. "I'll be back soon." It was a promise.

Hisoka only nodded and waited tensely until he couldn't Feel Tsuzuki anymore.

What do you want?"

The voice, though young and squeaky, still held a strange menace. Probably because he knew exactly what she could do.

"We can't send her to jail," Hisoka said quickly, "but we can still keep her away from Shilah – from your brother."

Of course, she thought-spoke snappishly. Kill her.

"No," Hisoka said firmly. "But things are different in this time. The law doesn't allow such radical abuse to minors – to children." Hisoka Felt her disdain and continued before she could say anything. "Tsuzuki is going and getting a restraining order on her as we speak." He Felt her sudden confusion. "The order will make it illegal for that woman – your mother – to go anywhere near Shilah. She'll be arrested if she does. Your body had her skin underneath your fingernails, along with her hair and a ripped piece of clothing. All that signifies a struggle between the two of you, though it doesn't prove she killed you." If Amara could have, she would have snarled. He was sure of it. "But that struggle would mean that she was responsible for some of the bruises – or at least most likely responisble – for some of the bruises on you."

She killed me.

"I know. There's enough proof of abuse for the restraining order to be placed into use. The police will see the evidence and take it to a judge. The evidence is too strong to ignore – he'll okay the restraining order."

It will not stop her.

"Most people attack their children because they think they're doing what's right. They enjoy power and control. But they also like being impervious to punishment – it's their child, right? But Shilah will become a child of the state – he won't be hers anymore. It would be illegal for her to go near him." Hisoka tried desperately to make her understand. "Do you understand? If she goes within a certain number of yards of Shilah, she'll be arrested and fined. No one likes losing money. She'll be forced to stay away."

Such things are not so easily attained.

"They are in this time. Things have changed."

Amara was disbelieving. The only way to stop her is to kill her.

"No," Hisoka said. "Not anymore. There's more technology. We can prove that the skin follicles under your nails were hers. We can prove it all. We have. The restraining order is just a few days away."

Impossible.

"No." She didn't seem to be ready to attack. She seemed almost frozen.

It cannot be so simple.

Hisoka understood the biggest problem she faced now. If it was this simple now, how long ago could this have been ended if only she had met him or someone like him sooner? Her suffering had been too much to be settled so easily.

"It is," he told her. And Felt her sorrow reach out to him through all of her anger.

I need not kill you?

Hisoka shook his head. "No. I told you there were other ways."

She could not move, and was already crying for eternity. But he Felt her sobs anyway, deep in his heart, by the time Tsuzuki came back with the news that the cops were headed to the judge.

It was all disturbingly anticlimactic, despite the mother's psychotic scratching session the next day when they took the restraining order to her. Tsuzuki had stepped in front of Hisoka, who had gleefully informed her, and had taken the woman's claws and shrieks without a word. The police had grabbed her and taken her down to the station to inform her of the new rules and to charge her with resisting... well, not arrest, but resisting nonetheless.

Shilah was tearful when it was time for him to leave. Yuma and Saya had bought him a huge teddy bear that came up to his shoulders, and Watari gave him a weird little paper butterfly wannabe that perched on his nose. Shilah laughed at that.

Then it was time for Tsuzuki and Hisoka to say good-bye. Tsuzuki had tears in his eyes, but he still wore a wide smile and left Shilah laughing. Hisoka, of course, did not have such skills.

"Thank you for helping me and my sister," Shilah said to him, beaming. He was hugging his teddy bear possessively to his side.

Hisoka only felt completely awkward and uncoordinated. He'd rather face down Amara again. "No problem," he mumbled.

"I won't forget you."

Hisoka felt miserable and just nodded. "Me too."

The kid seemed happy enough with that, though, and let Tsuzuki take him to the police station. Hisoka felt like a heel for not accompanying him. He made up for it by going to his desk and beginning the report.

Tsuzuki didn't show up at all. When Hisoka finally finished, he got up and went to the cherry blossoms, somehow knowing that that was where Tsuzuki would be.

He was right, of course. Tsuzuki was staring out into nothing, his arms crossed over himself. Hisoka went and stood next to him, not knowing what to do. He just stood there, silently trying to comfort.

Tsuzuki was content to just stand there, and Hisoka was, as well. He turned to look into the distance, creating his own memories. He thought of Muraki and the threat his return meant. Though of Amara and the anguish she had endured. Thought of Tsuzuki.

Finally he sighed. "Don't beat yourself up," he told Tsuzuki. "We did the best we could, and now he won't be beaten every day like before. We couldn't save Giselle, but now Amara's soul can rest, as can all of the girls brought out to live her life. We ended the cycle." Tsuzuki was silent, but Hisoka could Feel that Tsuzuki had at least taken some comfort in his words.

Hisoka looked back out to the distance. "Want some of Granny's peach cobbler?"

Tsuzuki turned to him with a hopeful puppy-dog face. "Really, Hisoka?"

Hisoka sighed in mock exasperation, but allowed himself a secret smile, only seen in his heart. "Yeah, why not? I got the report done – without any help from you, I might add."

Tsuzuki whined. "Aww, Hisoka, don't be like that. I'm sorry."

Hisoka just shook his head and began leading the way to the restaurant. "You worry too much."

Tsuzuki just laughed.