see, it goes like this: i was reading a kangteuk fanfic and it struck me and i knew i had to write this...

this is for anyone who's felt that longing and desire but knew, no matter how strong the urge, that it was just never to happen...

Disclaimer: Prince of Tennis... not mine...

Akira Yama presents
Fading Fading... Gone

Things come and go. Time passes by at different speeds it seems; slowly it tortures you and quickly it kills you. The more I saw him, the more I unknowingly longed for him. The more I talked to him, the more I subconsciously realized I was falling for him. How can you not become friends with someone you are in close proximity with all year long? Not to mention, tennis was something that pulled us into each other more. Then I knew, when school ended, it would be over for us.

I met him at the beginning of middle school. All the girls gushed over him and his name seemed to echo through whispers in the hall before the school bell had even rung. A freshman this popular was unheard of, but not for Fuji Syusuke. The beginning of school I heard of him, then when the bell rang, I met him. He was seated next to me and he was the first to speak. Hi! I'm Syusuke, what's your name?

With that, we were instantly friends....

Lessons we sat together, making comments about what the teacher said. Syusuke always made me laugh, even when I didn't want to. His gentle smile was warming though many of the boys said it was strange and creepy. I loved his smiles and I loved the way he said my name. His usual smile was so firm and common it got sickening, I will admit. My favorite smile was when his beautiful ice blue eyes were open and he smiled his bright, wide grin. In eighth year, I suddenly realized, one day while a girl flirted shamelessly with him, that he only gave me that smile. I gasped at my epiphany and than giggled to myself.

What's so funny? He asked sharply. Was he jealous because he was not the one who made me laugh? I was too inconclusive to ask him, so I just smiled innocently at him. I told him simply I was remembering something funny he had said about our teacher, just to make him feel better. He smiled his usual smile and the girl tried to gain back his attention. She ended up stomping off when she realized I'd captured it away from her. I felt a strange, unexplanable sensation of triumph.

Over the years, for birthdays and Christmases, we gave each other gifts. One year he gave me a simple gold chain. It looked simple at first, but after gazing at it, alone in my bedroom for several nights before I drifted to sleep, I noticed that each thin gold strand had my name engraved all along its length. I felt shameful for taking something so expensive. It did make me wonder what made him buy me something so costly? I felt no guilt, though. That Christmas I bought him a simple white gold ring with a single stone engraved deep into the band that matched his eyes.

I always glanced at Fuji's right hand and there it was always placed on his ring finger. I always wore the chain he got me. Always. I only took it off once and that was when I went to bed, afraid it might choke me in my sleep. One morning, in a rush, I forgot to put it on and didn't realize it until I got to school and Fuji almost gasped after he examined my neck.

Where is it? Why aren't you wearing it? His eyes were opened, but that normally bright blue that always accompanied the smile he saved just for me seemed to darken as he gave me a harsh glare. His voice was sharp enough to slice through steel plates. I was so lost and confused I didn't know how to respond. I remember explaining in a soft, quivering voice that I was in a rush and must have forgotten to put it on. I remember apologizing at least a thousand and one times. He finally forgave me when I realized I'd forgotten most of my text books too. I never took it off after that. That look he had given me was something I never wanted to see from Fuji again.

Secrets. Something we always entrusted with each other. I remember the night I confessed I was gay to him. He was sleeping over and he asked if I had a crush on anybody this year, as our eighth year was slowly coming to a close. I was almost scared to tell him. Not that I was gay, but that I did like somebody. I had this feeling like it would affect him more than just having a gay best friend.

I confessed I liked somebody, but I kept from him who. That didn't settle with him; he pressed, almost with a dead set determination.

Whose the lucky girl? He asked playfully. Slightly too playful, like it was forced.

I stayed quiet, debating. I finally breathed out a long sigh, stalling myself. I replied softly that it wasn't a girl. His usual closed-eye-smile almost seemed to brighten at hearing that.

Ok, whose the lucky guy then? He asked, almost as if he was hoping he was secretly guessing correctly.

Again, I debated with myself. I bit my lip looking away from him. I dreaded what his reaction would be, something held me back from telling him. Yet, he wanted to know, so how bad could the outcome be?

Tezuka.

Him? He asked, stunned, his eyes opened wide. Why? He's so stoic....

Truth was, I liked that about him. It was mysterious. It seemed to draw me in. It made me want him. Made me fall for him. It was like he was my own special magnet that pulled me to him. Fuji laughed quietly when I told him this. He just hugged me and encouraged me to go for it.

And I did....

I was with Tezuka through summer tennis practice and into our ninth year. We were so in love. We kept our relationship a secret, at his request, but I still told Fuji. Fuji just smiled and told me he was so happy for me. I felt a little put off by that then and didn't understand that feeling until now.

Even though Tezuka wanted to keep our relationship a secret, I agreed with his logic. It was a new concept for boys to date each other. We did see each other out side school, though. After tennis practices, we would wait for each other on the courts and just talk endlessly.

He kissed me on those courts....

He made out with me....

He confessed to me....

... He made love to me.

The more we spent time close to one another, the more I thought we would stay together forever. It seemed like we just fit together.

I knew Fuji knew about us and what happened on those courts just by the way he acted around us. One time I'd thought I'd seen him watching us kiss, but it was just my imagination; Fuji later told me.

Then came that day when that Echizen Ryoma showed up and ruined everything. He always captivated Tezuka's attention; on and off the courts. One night, after practice, all Tezuka seemed to talk about was how beautifully the seventh year played.

Then....

Tezuka broke my heart on those courts....

Eiji, I think it's time we break up. He had said, his usual stoic voice trying to sound sorry.

What? I remember my heart shattering right then. By breathing shortened and my eyes watered. All I knew was I felt like I was going to faint.

I just don't love you like I used to... I think I'm falling for someone else now.

Ryoma? My voice was bitter. It shook, but was still as firm as it could be at a moment like that.

He didn't reply, but in that silence I knew... he was mentally nodding.

I ran to Fuji's house, crying. I knocked on the door and Fuji answered it. He was home alone that night, if I recall. He saw my tears and his eyes opened, full of concern and warmth. I just threw myself into his arms and buried my face into his firm chest. He brought me into his house as I sobbed out what had happened. Fuji rubbed my back, his hands soft and soothing. His words he spoke were of Tezuka's idiocy. How he would regret ever letting me go. They were harsh to the man I still believed I was in love with, yet they were spoken in soothing whispers.

Then we stayed up all night just talking. He made me forget Tezuka, he put my heart back together as we talked and talked. It was well into the morning when we finally looked at a clock. It was time to get ready for school, but instead he popped in a horror movie and held me and we continued to talk all day long.

Remembering it now, we talked about everything and nothing... things I had never thought to talk about with Tezuka.

Remembering that night and that day I realize that they were the best of my life.

Staring at the clock, my heart is pounding uneasily. The closing ceremony is about to begin. We will be going into high school next year. As the bell chimes, we all go into the auditorium. It begins. My emotions well up and I try to concentrate on the speaker as well as sorting them out. Tears are in my eyes and I am sure they are the swelling of happiness.

Why wouldn't they be? Of all the accomplishments I had seen that year and of the happiness I shared with my friends, what could make me sad?

Then I see them....

Two gorgeous ice blue eyes blinking up at the speaker. Fuji sits a few seats away. My memories, my escaping tears, make me realize everything. I will never see Fuji again after today. These tears are of sadness and regret. I realize that the days I spent with Fuji were those I wish I could have more of, but we will be attending different schools next year.

These are our last moments together.

I tried to convince my parents to let me go to the same school as him, but they refused. Now I sit here in foreboding of the good-bye I will have to say to him. Especially with this feeling I have had for a few weeks now. The true feeling I wished I had realized much sooner....

The truth being that...

I'm in love with him.

Tears fall from my tightly closed eyes and I feel those orbs on me. I side-glance at him and sure enough he is staring at me with worry. I sigh quietly, wiping my eyes, wanting only to run to him and have him hold me, but I can't.

Then the speakers final words and the ceremony ends.

...*...*...

Outside the wind is blowing through the trees sweeping my hair all over the place. I hear countless "goodbyes" and countless "see you over the summer"s. I hate hearing them as much as this foreboding to say them.

"Eiji?"

His soft voice whispers against the wind. I look at him and smile through my quivering lips. "Hi, Fuji, nya." Even I can tell my usual nya sounds drained. His arms wrap securely around my waist and he pulls me into his chest. I quickly respond by wrapping my arms around his neck, as if trying to say I'm never letting go. I bury my face into his shoulder and the tears escape into smooth flows as I sob.

"I don't want you to go." I struggle through the painful sobs. "I don't want to say good-bye. I want you to stay with me Fuji."

With the shaken forced words, I almost don't notice.

He's crying, too.

Through all the years I had never seen him cry. Now I was feeling his tears against my neck. It took awhile for it to register that we said "I don't want you to go" at the same time.

I pull away, just enough to look at him and I see his blue eyes glistening with tears. Before I can say a word, he leans closer, his lips suddenly brushing my. The touch surges through my heart. He hesitates taking a deep breath before kissing me; first gently, sweetly, then roughly. I return it desperately, both of us knowing it isn't just our first, but our last kiss.

Finally, we have to pull away. Our eyes melt together as we gasp for breath. Things seem to freeze around us. My heart races, rattling my rib cage. I feel Fuji's heart, too, and I know he feels mine.

I shatter the silence as I suddenly gasp...

"Fuji, I love you."

The corners of his lips twitch to a saddened half-smile. "I love you, too, Eiji." He whispers, his lips brushing my forehead, just before he kisses it. His eyes meet mine and I can only stare helplessly into those perfectly blue eyes. "It's just too bad it's too little, too late."

He pulls me away from him and turns sharply away from me and disappears into the crowd. I chase after him, desperate to find him. I dive into the sea of people, but as I look through every person and reach the end of the pool...

I find that...

... He's gone...

eiji's point of view... by the way...

well it's written... no regrets...

if you review who knows what will happen...

i might write another version with Fuji's point of view if i get motivated enough...

hope it was good... hope it moved you or hit you in the heart...

you're welcome...