Willy Wonka glared relentlessly at the small, impertinent boy before him. He had grown tired of these silly games this small child seemed so fond of, finding all he truly ached for now was some peaceful solitude.

"I grow tired of your tricks, boy. I urge you to get out of my way," he sighed impatiently.

"But sir, I have still many more questions I must ask you," the boy had looked up at him innocently.

"Then you shall indulge me with your curiosity tomorrow."

"No sir," the small boy shook his head, "that will not do, sir. Tomorrow I should go to the zoo."

Wonka quirked an eyebrow. "What should I care of you going to the zoo, child?"

"You should not sir – it means nothing to you, I'm sure."

"Good, then we agree. You must leave now; for I am rapidly losing patience."

This panicked the child. "Please sir, do not grow frustrated – I find people who are like that are often unpleasant."

"So it would seem, child. But tell me quickly; what is your question?"

"Why sir, I should have thought you to have known."

Wonka thought for a moment. "No, I do not."

"Then you are not too clever, sir."

Willy Wonka's face grew quite red at the rude statement.

"You are a measly child and I would like nothing better than to berid of you!"

"But sir, you must answer my question before you have me gone."

Wonka calmed, forgetting any prior ignorance on the boy's behalf.

"Bless you child," he patted the boy's thin, dark hair, "ask me whatever you wish."

The boy sucked in a deep breath. "What have I won?"

"What do you mean, little boy?"

"I mean, what is my prize?"

"Your prize will be to go home."

"That is my prize?"

"Is it not to your liking?"

"No sir; it is not."

"What?!" Wonka cried in disbelief.

"I do not like it, sir."

"You must child, you must like all things that are given to you."

"But you have given me nothing."

"I have given you permission to leave; is that not a reward in itself?"

"No, sir."

"You impertinent boy!" He exclaimed, "why must I give you a prize anyway?"

"Because I have won."

"What have you won, boy?"

"Why, sir," the boy looked confused, "that is what I had asked you."

"I do not recall..."

"Please sir! Do not play games with me!"

"It is I who wish you to stop playing games with me."

"I am playing nothing."

"In that case, you can leave."

"But I am the last child left; is there not a wonderful surprise for me?"

Wonka froze. "You are the last child?"

"Yes sir."

"Are you sure?"

"The very last, sir."

"No other annoying children?"

"Well, none but me, sir."

Willy Wonka seemed to contemplate that for a moment. "Huh," he half chuckled, "fancy that."

"Fancy what, sir?"

"Fancy that."

"And what is that that I should fancy?"

"How should I know?"

"You are the one that mentioned it, sir."

"I mentioned no such thing."

"Please, sir," the boy cried; exasperated, "are you absolutely sure I have won nothing?"

"One is never absolute about anything, child."

The boy shook his head, bewildered.

"Please, sir."

"Please what?"

"I am not sure, sir."

"Then you should be absolutely sure before you speak, child."

"I thought one was absolute upon nothing, sir."

"Nonsense. You speak riddles to me that bring me great headaches – I'm not sure I can stand you any longer."

"Oh?" The boy was not sure of what else to say.

"In fact, to get rid of you, I shall give all this to you."

"To me, sir?"

"To you, boy."

"Why sir?"

"Because if you refuse to leave here, then I must simply be the one to resign."

"I see, sir."

"Do you?" He looked doubtful.

"Not really, sir."

Wonka nodded his head, pleased with himself. "You must take this factory, though."

"If you insist, sir."

"I have insisted nothing."

"Then...must I still take it?"

"Absolutely."

The boy grew frustrated and walked off.

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A/N: Random, I know. But I prefer "quirky"...