Hello all!! Long time no see. I've been busy and museless lately. And swimming takes a lot of energy out of a person :( but no worries, I watched a Potter Puppet Pals and got my muse back. So yay, and stuff ;) AND, I plan on making my next fic...wait for it...original!! Insanity, right? lol. But nonetheless, here awaits your story.
Disclaimer: I don't own Sweeney Todd, nor do I own PPP. If I did, I'd be rich. Just sayin'
Sweeney Angst
Sweeney: I feel cranky and pubescent today and I don't know why. URH! I'm going to take it out on people I like.
Nellie: Hello Sweeney! What sort of tomfoolery shall we get up to today?
Sweeney: No tomfoolery today Nell. I'm sick of your dreadful crazy hair!
Nellie: Why must you hurt me in the way Sweeney? -sulks-
Toby: Yeah, what's your problem Sweeney? -Sweeney glares and Toby steps back-
Sweeney: My family's dead, my life sucks, I can't stop killing clients, and I'm surrounded by ****ing razors and **** all the time, I mean what the ****!!
Nellie: But it's shiny Sweeney! The razors are shiny!!
Sweeney: Well I still have nightmares about them shaving my skin off every night! I can't take it anymore! I quit revenge!
Nellie: -gasp!-
Toby: But what about killing Judge Turpin?
Sweeney: Fine. It's all up to you now Nellie.
Nellie: -studders in fear- nooo!!
Sweeney: Come on now, go kill him!
Turpin: -creeper smile- hello, miss.
Nellie: -stands there studdering-
Turpin: You want a piece of me? What?
-Nellie runs away as fast as she can...smart woman...-
Turpin: Yeah you run away...bitch...
Nellie: I can't do it!
Toby: You tried your best Mum.
Nellie: What's Sweeney doing?
Sweeney: -hits himself repeatedly with his razors- angst. angst. angst. angst. angst. angst.
Toby: He's a little off today, haven't you noticed?
Nellie: -hopeful- Maybe he's in love!!!
Toby: Who'd fall in love with such an a--
Nellie: Maybe he needs a hug!!
Sweeney: I don't want a hug!
Nellie: Give me a hug Sweeney!
Sweeney: NO!
Nellie: Hugging!!! -hugs Sweeney-
Sweeney: I'll kill you!!
-Nellie and Sweeney get into a girly slap fight. No one is getting hurt, so Toby just stands by laughing-
Beadle: What is this rumpus?!
Nellie: Sweeney hit me!
Sweeney: Nellie invaded my personal bubble!
Beadle: Methinks some severe punishment is in order here.
Nellie and Sweeney: Oh no!
Beadle: The two of you shall be dragged by your ears to the bakehouse where a drunked Pirelli will be waiting with a cactus and a croquet mallet, and then--
-Nellie and Sweeney pick up various nearby objects and stalk towards the Beadle, causing him to...have an accicent...-
Beadle: umm...er...ehh...I have to...leave now...bye...-runs away-
Anthony: Hahahahahaha!!! Oh man, that was AWESOME guys!
Nellie: Thanks Anthony!
Anthony: Are you still full of that barber angst Sweeney?
Sweeney: I think I can appreciate life a lot more now!
Anthony: Well that's just fantastic!
Toby: eww...what's that smell?
Nellie: Why it's the greatest "elixir" of all!
-they all laugh hysterically, when suddenly, Anthony sprouts wings and turns into a butterfly!-
Sweeney: Everyone make a wish.
-THE END-
End note: I wish I could have made Snape and Judge Turpin the same person. Tis sad that I couldn't. But I think this fit the story. And I honestly didn't WANT it to sound like Judge "Creepy-Rapist-With-Awesome-Pants" Turpin wanted to rape Mrs. Lovett. But it fit!! So, thus concludes my ramble. Rate and Review, loves, and I'll post something else soon!