Chapter 39

Disclaimer: I own nothing connected to Twilight. It all belongs to Stephenie Meyers. I do own the plot of this story though, or at least a part of it!

A/N I didn't abandon it! I was merely leaving it for a bit as no one seemed to be reading it. So here is a short up date for everyone who has been waiting, and for everyone who is going to read this in the future. Thanks go to Cullenfest, my beta, who manages to check for my mess ups in between work and writing her own stories. She is truly great!

Nahuel's POV

Things quickly fell back into routine, we hunted, talked and explored and occupied time with useless hobbies. I gave my aunt and Lichuen frequent time alone. It was difficult to be around them for too extended an amount of time. I felt a dull ache inside of my chest when I watched the two of them together, as it reminded me that I had no chance of the joy that they had.

As the years passed and the pain of losing Shara had eased somewhat I began to realize that I would have been able to offer her nothing. I wasn't human, and she had been. My father had shown me what came of being with a human. The only thing that resulted was pain and suffering. Would I have done the same to Shara? Would she have conceived my child had we consummated our feelings in a physical way? Would she have died carrying a child? Would I have been left alone to rear a motherless infant? What sort of life was that for a child? Not that it mattered any longer.

I was full of pointless questions that had no purpose or answers. Instead I filled my time with something that could occupy my mind: my sisters. As my sisters and I grew closer, I spent more time with them, trying to keep them from being affected too greatly by our father. As far as I was concerned Joham was a mad man. He kept away from me, knowing how I loathed him, but since he had seen my aunt with Lichuen, he seemed to fixate further on his plan to create a race of beings like me and my sisters.

I could not soften my heart when it came to him, but my sisters were innocent victims of his crimes, just as I was. And like me, they seemed to have no futures. What husband could they find? They would be banished as demons when they did not age, or when the strength that came from being one of our kind became apparent. Where could we go that we would have someone other than ourselves to love one another?

My sisters feared the madness that Joham seemed to be sinking into. They told me how he disappeared for longer and longer periods of time, always returning annoyed and withdrawn. Ailen told me that when he was home he watched them, his eyes following their every movements. She told me softly of questions that he asked about her and her sisters. He seemed to be trying to figure out if they had developed any gifts as they had come of age. He probed Ailen with questions, telling her of vampires who had gifts of mind control, abilities to inflict pain on others, and tracking. Though as of yet none of us had shown any signs of such gifts, and the fact only seemed to irritate him further.

As he seemed to get more involved in his plans, he seemed to become more angry with my sisters. Ailen and Rayen and Suyai were soft spoken and sweet natured. I felt badly that they rarely got to be away from Joham for any length of time. I wished that they had had an opportunity as I had, to be raised by someone who was patient, loving and kind like Huilen. On rare occasions when I was able, they would visit my home, and often the girls would watch Huilen with a wistful expression on their faces.

Suyai was the most enamored by her. Perhaps it was due to her age, but whenever she could, she would make her way over to Huilen and grasp at her skirts as she busied herself reorganizing our home, or weaving. Her innocence made it hard to be denied, and Huilen's mothering side once again came forward. Suyai would sit on her lap as Huilen taught her how to weave intricate designs into the supple hides. The other girls seemed to envy how easily Suyai was able to endear herself with Huilen, but the ease with which it occurred made me realize how much a loving parent would have changed the lives of my sisters.

As Suyai grew, I tried to be more present in her life, and to help protect my sisters from the increasingly frequent rages that out father was becoming more prone to. The girls lived in fear, constantly looking over their shoulders when he was gone, frightened that he might return and take out his anger at not having gotten further in his plans.

One day, after having come to visit after Joham had ripped apart an entire clearing around them before rushing out again, Suyai had crawled quietly into my lap and leaned against my chest, her small hand holding onto my arm with a grip of steele. "Nahuel?" She had said softly, "Can we come and live with you and Huilen and Lichuen ? Then maybe father won't be so angry anymore." I had leaned back to look down at her, and I had asked why she thought that our father was mad. "Because we aren't special enough…." She whispered looking at our sisters.

Seeing the pain he was causing them only made the hate I had for him increase tenfold. "I kissed the top of her head and said, "I would take you away whenever you wished, but he is not angry at us, he is angry at himself." Suyai seemed confused, but Ailen had nodded. "He used to be so much more pleasant little one.." She said soothingly to our youngest sister. Rayen had added a thought as well. "Perhaps he is mad with grief? Ever since he realized that he lost your aunt to Lichuen, he has been unbearable."

Was she right? Then maybe the time they spent with my family only made things worse for them. He would be reminded of her with every whiff of the air around them. After Suyai had fallen asleep that night, the girls and I had came up with an idea. They were going to try to separate them selves from us to see if it would have any impact upon our father. The girls knew where to find me if they needed me, and for their own happiness I had to agree that we should try.

I had released Suyai's sleeping form into Ailen's arms, feeling the loss of her small frame immediately, I felt as protective of her as I imagined any father would, and to stay away from them would be difficult, but I would manage, so they could try to salvage some semblance of their life with our father. For them I would do anything. But I would continue to be there for them, no matter what.