A/N: Sorry it's been a long long long long eleven inch phoenix feathers long wand of a long time. My goal is to update every Sunday from now on :)
thankuthankuthankuthankuthankuthankuthankuthankuthankuthanku for all of the wonderful reviews!
AND WE'RE ON!
EPISODE FOUR
An dusty old bar in Hogsmeade. Besides the bartender and a random goat, only Severus and Harry are present.
Snape: This is asinine.
Harry: What? An ass?
Snape: Nevermind. Look Harry, I don't think anyone's ever going to show up-
Ron walks in.
Ron: Oi! I'm here for the uh-
Harry: Audition signup for Snape's-
Ron: Band, right right.
Ron walks to sign a piece of paper.
Ron: Lets see here- (there are absolutely no names on the list)
Harry: Uh, how about you just tell us what you can play.
Ron: Harry, you already know I play the drums.
Harry: I know Ron. I just have to interview you and all. It's protocol. Wouldn't want to be unfair, you know?
Snape: (Sarcastically) Yes, please. The competition for the position of drummer is raging.
Harry: Alright. So far we have a guitarist, (Nods to Snape) a bassist, (Points to himself) and a drummer. All we need now is a pianist. Any ideas?
Snape looks to Harry who in turn looks to Ron who in turn looks to Snape.
Snape: Oh all right. But you musn't tell anyone! Follow me.
Just outside the Shrieking Shack.
Snape: When we get in there, I want you both to be alert and ready to run when I give you the signal.
Ron: Yes professor.
Snape: Wha-?
Ron: -sor McGonagall has nice legs. What kind of signal?
Snape: What do you mean, what kind of signal?
Ron: You know, the signal so we know when to get out.
Snape: I don't know. I doesn't matter. You'll know it when I do it.
Ron: Yes... but what if we don't?
Snape: I don't know, I'll erm, I'll wave my hands in the air.
Ron: Lame. I was thinking something along the lines of a glowing bat signal in thin air.
Snape: Whatever! Just follow my lead and don't get yourself killed!
Ron: This isn't what I signed up for!
Inside the Shrieking Shack.
Ron: Harry, I'm scared. Hold me.
Snape: Shh!
Harry: Do you hear that?
Ron: It sounds like...
"Ob-La-Di, Ob-La-da, life goes on bra, darling how the life goes-"
Ron: There is no way we're letting him join our band.
Remus is merrily playing piano and singing in the corner of the Shrieking Shack.
Snape: Lupin.
Remus: Severus! What are- why are... you swore you'd never tell!
Snape: Relax Lupin, any hairy details were left out. The three of us are only here to offer you a proposition.
Remus: Well alright, but make it quick. The sun will be down in a few minutes... and you know that I... I play the piano... louder... on full moons.
Snape: Bloody hell Lupin, even Potter and Black could have decoded that cryptic message.
Remus: The proposition?
Harry: We'd like you to join Snape's band.
Remus: But I was planning on taking Hermione to the ball.
Ron: Oh well. Guess you can't be her date after all. Well then- what songs do you know!?
Harry: That's alright, we won't be on for the whole night. Snape only needs us for the opening act.
Ron smacks him on the head.
Harry: What the hell was that for?
Ron: Sorry, thought Snape there was giving the signal.
Snape: So it's settled. Lupin is in the band.
Harry: We ought to practice.
Ron: Yeah, I suck.
Snape: Me too.
Remus: Tell me about it.
Inside the Gryffindor common room- night.
James: He's probably off with those wannabe Death Eaters!
Sirius: Or wiping the grease off his long nose!
Lily: Stop that. What about those two other boys?
Hermione: Harry's with Prof- Severus, and Ron's probably with them.
Lily: And Remus?
James: Hasn't been feeling too well as of late. Stuck in bed. Not to worry, he'll be fine in a week or so.
Lily: Oh ok. Well then, we'll see you two-
Peter: Three!
Lily: Two, in the morning.
Hermione: Goodnight!
James: Wh- wait! What about our date!?
Lily: Oh, I'm so sorry James, but it's been quite nice to finally have a friend that's Muggleborn and a woman. So unless you want to watch romantic Muggle films and talk about past boyfriends and puberty...
Hermione: Oh Lily, remind me to tell you about the first time I had my period-
James, Sirius, and Peter were gone before she finished the sentence.
Hermione: What? I was just going to tell you about my periodic table test. Muggles do have the strangest sciences.
The next day- Room of Requirement.
Harry: How'd you know about this place Snape?
Snape: Lily and I used to come here to brew potions.
Remus: Among other things.
Harry gags.
Snape: Guitarius Pooficus! (A guitar poofs out of thin air) Before you arrived, I took the liberty of conjuring up your instruments.
Harry: Very cool. (Harry's bass is in the shape of a red lightning bolt.)
Snape: I thought this would be more fitting. (He levitates Remus a shiny keytar)
Remus: Totally rad!
Everyone turns to look at Remus and are puzzled by his lame use of slang.
Snape: Muggle movie nights with Lily?
Remus: Yeah.
Snape: Right. I don't know what our band name is yet, so I left the skin on the bass drum blank-
Ron takes a marker and begins writing on the bass drum- The Ron Experience.
Snape: Accio idiot's marker.
The marker flies into Snape's hand and Remus charms the drum head clean.
Ron: They never listened to Ringo either!
NEXT ON FLASHBACK, WE'RE ALL IDIOTS:
James: Periods. Bloody hell Sirius, why would they ever talk about that?
Sirius: I don't know. I guess girls are just closer than blokes are.
James: You're my best mate Sirius:
Sirius: Back at you Prongs.
Peter: Hey guys, am I your best friend too?
Awkward silence.
Sirius: So periods-
James: Right, right.
-
Ron: I've got blisters on my fingers!
Snape: We haven't even started playing yet.
Harry: We need to come up with a name.
Remus: What about The Remus Lupins?
Harry: Ministry of Magic?
Ron: Switchblade Kittens?
Harry: Just because you fancy Professor McGonagall does not mean we're naming our band after her!
Remus: You fancy Professor McGonagall?!
Ron: (Fuming with rage) Harry wet his bed last term!
Harry: (Gasp) Ron doesn't know how to tie his shoes!
Ron: Harry once hit on a man!
Harry: He had long hair!
(Remus looks to Snape)
Snape: Wasn't me.
Ron: Lupin is a werewolf!!!
Remus: (Turning to Snape) You swore!
Snape: I didn't say anything!
Remus: Severus knows all the lyrics to every Sound of Music song!
Snape: Only after you told Lily all about them!
Awkward silence.
Harry: I love that movie.
A/N: Sorry it's short, but I'll write more next week. Tune in for the band's first practice, naming, Lily and Hermione's girly talk of girly situations, and more! Hope you all recognize the Wizard Rock bands. Again, thank you all for the comments and complimentary reviews! :) Till Sunday!