Last night's rain ravishes its way through the area and leaves everything behind refreshed, including me. During the storm I had listen intently to the steady rain and not only heard the loud thunder, but feel it pleasantly vibrate through my chest. Lightning streaks across the bruised and angry clouds. The flash leaves a clear and then quickly fading picture that I can see even after I close my eyes. I taste the slightly salty and metallic rain as it washes over my cold, hard body. I inhale the warm, moisture laden air as it whips across me. Mesmerized by the earth's awesome display of beauty and power, I stand here hour after hour until it is over.

As day breaks I watch the clouds roll lazily above me, making swirling patterns as the sky begins to change from dark to light. The clouds are not angry anymore, but light, wispy, and free with the sun hidden just beyond them. It is almost as if they exhausted all their anger in the storm and were now feeling better. I feel my eyes become heavy as the moist but warm temperature of the grass molds to my back, and a slight breeze brushing across my body, cocooning me in comfort.

Finally succumbing to the relaxing pleasure nature had given me, I close my eyes and inhale deeply. I breathe in the raw earthy smells of dirt, pine, and sweet rain. Everything is so calm and gentle now, so much different than the confused and raging emotions, similar to last night's storm, that were randomly sweeping through my mind. If only I could vent these emotions like the storm… maybe then I could feel like the clouds today. Free.

Who is this girl that plagues my mind? Her, with her long, soft, silky brown hair. Her, with her pale skin and full pink lips. Her, with her ever curious chocolate brown eyes that pull me in so deep that I become lost, lost in thought, in emotions, in everything. Who is she? I have never felt like this before, felt these emotions before. I exhale, frustrated with myself. My visions have never been so…off, I guess. I see her, not her actions, not her decisions, her and only her as of late.

I feel myself slip into a familiar vision. Her back is to me, looking down; there is no background around her, just white. She turns, her hair flowing with her and swinging around to her back. She looks up, sees me and smiles. My stomach flutters as I come out of my vision. She always smiles at me… What? What am I thinking?! Why do I care if she smiles at me? Because I feel whole, because I feel wanted, needed…damn it. I exhale again, smiling. She is amazing, just like an angel…I hug myself and sigh.

Then I hear it. A branch to breaks to my left, all serenity I once felt vanished as I come to full alert. Swinging my head and body to the left, my eyes snap open. I am now frozen, propped up on my left elbow, chest squared to the noise, right arm hovering, legs bent. I inhale deeply, rain, pine, earth, and…Jasper?

"Alice?" I hear him whisper to me. I relax, feeling the tension in my chest loosen a bit. "You…you've been away from home for awhile…." He walks slowly out of the trees, a concerned look gracing his beautiful face. "I, well... I got worried," he says in his heavy southern accent, walking a little closer and then stopping. "I couldn't help but think," he pauses briefly, "well…know, that it's my fault you've been gone so long…"

I try to remember back to before the storm. I was at the house, in my home, in our room, looking out the window…

Flashback

Jasper was behind me with his arms wrapped securely around my body. I was feeling calming waves radiate from him, holding back the other emotions I was still trying to cope with.

"Jasper…?" I turned my head into his arm as I whispered his name. He squeezed me reassuringly.

"Yes Alice?" His voice was nervous, he knew something was up. He was so attuned to my emotions; he knew what I was feeling better and stronger than any other person's emotions. His ability could feel confusion, sadness, guilt, and love pour from me….He knew all those emotions were for him, all except one: Love. He knew the love I was feeling was not for him. My love for him felt different.

He told me that he could feel out the different ways a person loved. Love for a family member, a friend, a lover. He told me that each type of love was laced with an underlying mix of emotions, such as concern, passion, even pity. That's how I knew he knew. He knew about her.

Well, maybe he didn't know it was a girl I was feeling so strongly for, but he knew my love had changed for him. That's why he explained to me how he could differentiate between loves in the first place. He told me that every time I came out of a vision lately my love for him kept shifting; from lover, to friend. As he explained it to me I remember seeing such hurt, and pain in his eyes.

"I think…" I paused. I couldn't say it. Not with him embracing me so lovingly. I have been with Jasper for so long, he has been there for me, taken care of me, and…loved…me. But I had to say it. "…we need" What am I doing?! Jasper has been everything to me! I am going to destroy him. "…to take a break." I did it. I said it. Why? I haven't even met this girl, I don't even know if she is real! I don't even know her name! But I do need to sort out these feelings.

"I know," he said into my hair, kissing the top of my head. "But, not a break. Us, you, me…it's over." He let go of me. I listened silently, my un-beating heart aching as he walked away and finally heard the door shut softly behind him. I felt a crushing wave of hurt, pain, guilt, and loneliness hit me with the closing of that door. I couldn't believe what he had just done. I thought I would be the one comforting him through this…this, whatever was going on. Making it okay.

But why? Why would he want that from me? I did this. I hurt him! I was the one that felt love for another, made him feel my love for another. Unshed tears pooled in my eyes, never to fall. An excruciating pain built up behind my eyes, in my heart, in my soul. Did I even have a soul? If I did I would never have done this to Jasper.

I ran. I ran for days till I couldn't take it anymore, and then dropped onto my knees in some forest just as the first drops of rain began to drop from the clouds….

End Flashback

That must have been five days ago.

"Alice, I'm sorry I hurt you." He walks over to me, closing the distance between us. He is sorry he hurt me? It was my fault…. "But it was necessary." He looks down, grimacing. I can feel the aching starting to return with his words. "We don't belong together," he adds meekly, his voice soft and shaking. My heart breaks again, and in a flash I am up off the ground, hugging him.

"I still love you. Can't you feel that from me?" I say fiercely, pulling away to look into his face. He has tears in his eyes as well. He pulls me in again and holds me tightly, taking a deep breath and exhaling slowly into my short hair.

"Of course I can…that's why...it hurts…So. Badly," he chokes out. His body is wracked with sobs as he holds me. There is nothing I can do for him but hold him. He is never this vulnerable, this breakable….I love him… but I love her too...