Disclaimer: The world of Harry Potter belongs to J.K. Rowling

A/N: I've started to write this story nearly two years ago. I haven't continued it for so long because I wasn't really happy with it any more. Now I've decided to redo it and partially change this story.

A/N: Luna and the other characters might appear a bit OOC – you have been warned.

A/N: Warning this chapter contains non-consensual sex and is rated M

Summary:

This story starts at the end of Deathly Hallows, only Snape doesn't die because Luna saves him through an ancient ritual during which she conceives his children. Snape disappears to live in the muggle world, but returns to Hogwarts as Headmaster years later, when McGonagal retires. There he meets Luna again - she is a teacher now and her two children are just starting their first year at Hogwarts.

What are you living for?

By RawenclawBabe

Chapter 1

Voldemort was dead. Harry had finally killed him and fulfilled his prophecy. The battle of Hogwarts was over. So many people were dead – Remus Lupin, Nymphadora Tonks and Fred Weasley - wounded or missing.

Luna Lovegood was exhausted. She had fought together with the other members of D.A. alongside the aurors and the order of Phoenix. She had listened to what Harry had said about Headmaster Severus Snape and his unfulfilled love. She was sad. She had always loved sad love stories and hoped that in the end everybody would find love though. Those stories were her secret hope, because she had always been the weird girl, who hoped for a happy end herself. She really could identify with Severus Snape who had sacrificed his life to protect the son of the woman he loved.

Hermione had told Luna, how she, Ron and Harry left Professor Snape for dead in the Shrieking Shack. He had given Harry his memories about the love of his life – Lily Evans who had married his arch nemesis James Potter and was the mother of Harry Potter, the famous boy-who-lived whose mother had sacrificed her life for her child.

Saddened by this story, Luna made a decision. Perhaps there was still time. Perhaps it wasn't too late. Perhaps there was a way to save Severus Snape, so that he could finally live his own life. He had lived his whole life in the shadow of the woman he loved and her family. For all he had done in the memory of Lily and for Harry, he deserved a second chance to live. Luna had always known that there was more to a person than what first met the eye – although the amount of secrets differed from person to person. And Severus Snape had always been a true mystery, because his appearance didn't betray his emotions. He had been able to keep his love secret for so long.

Luna ran to the Shrieking Shack. She found the body of Severus Snape lying there in a pool of his own blood. She had to fight back tears. She was very sad. She had hoped she could still save him. She was devastated:

"I'm so sorry that I couldn't help you Headmaster Snape, sir. You are a true hero. I'm so sorry that you never experienced happiness for yourself, because the love of your life fell for someone else. Rest in Peace Severus Snape, I hope you find love and happiness in your next life."

Sobbing Luna touched his pale face – he gasped – he was still alive. Severus Snape was in a deep coma, he was unconscious but alive. An empty potion vial fell from his hand when his body slightly.

Luna saw the vial falling and realised that there was still a chance – he had been prepared for that attack and tried to save his life. Snape had taken the anti-venom against Nagini's venom, because had never really trusted Voldemort and hated his stupid pet snake familiar.

Searching Snape's robes Luna found some vials of healing and blood replenishing potions. She poured one of each in his mouth – luckily his reflexes still seemed to work – and he swallowed the potions.

The wound on his neck started to close and Luna took a deep breath. She waited until the wound was healed and Snape gained some colour – not really much – he still was pale as death. Seeing the improvement of his condition, she pulled unconscious Snape close and disapparated with him.

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Luna apparated them – she brought them to her family's summer mansion. It had been in her mother's family for centuries and Luna had inherited it after her mother's untimely death. It was her last connection to her mother's family, who mostly ignored her existence.

Her mother had had a potions and a spell lab in the house. Luna didn't like the manor, because her mother had died there - experimenting. Her father also didn't like his late wife's mansion, because her family always thought him some sort of weirdo with his magazine - the Quibbler – they had given her that mansion and then disowned her for marrying him.

No one would ever find them there. Severus would be safe.

Luna called Sunny and Moony her mother's house elves who had been the only inhabitants of the mansion for almost eight years now. The house elves took Snape to the master bedroom and Luna went into the potions lab. It was still fully stocked with many viable ingredients. Luna took a cauldron and started brewing. Snape would need many potions till he was fully recovered.

Luna had always loved Potions. Her mother had started teaching her Potions and Charms when she was only five years old. She was brilliant in both subjects and had always an Outstanding in both subjects – she had inherited her mother's talents after all. Nevertheless Professor Snape had mostly ignored her, but she knew being ignored by him was always better for you, if you weren't Slytherin. Well, that of course wasn't completely true, because Snape didn't have trouble with Ravenclaws.

After she finished her potion she went to see Snape. "I have brewed a special healing potion for you, sir. It's an invention of my late mother. I hope it works with your injuries."

She purred the potion into his mouth and he swallowed it. Instantly his heartbeat and his breathing became better and he looked healthier.

"If the potion works correctly for your injuries, you should be waking any moment now, sir," Luna said softly while she was stroking Snape's hair. She sighed, there was no sign that he was waking up.

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A week passed and nothing changed. Snape was still in a coma and Lund fed him healing and nutrition potions. He was alive but still unconscious. Luna didn't really know what to do. She fed him and she washed him and talked to him. Actually he looked healthier than when he was serving the Dark Lord and when he had to be acting as double-agent – but that didn't really help since he remained unconscious. His body seemed to be healthy but his soul was lost in the coma.

She started researching in her family's library. The library had been built over centuries - each generation had added new books. The oldest books were almost a thousand years old – Luna's mother was a descendant of a very old pure-blood family, they claimed her family directly came from Merlin himself. Luna loved this fact about her family although her mother was directly related to the Malfoys – Lucius Malfoy was her mother's older brother, who had disowned his sister when she married Xenophilos Lovegood.

It had been really weird for Luna when she was imprisoned in Malfoy Manor during the war – she had never been so close to her mother's family before, although she and her cousin Draco were both attending Hogwarts.

Her mother's family - the Malfoys - had always experimented with blood magic and earth magic. And in one of these old tomes she found the solution – a ritual that would heal the soul and give back live.

An ancient ritual, that had to be performed on midsummer night. But to perform the ritual a sacrifice was required – her virginity.

'Well', Luna thought, as she looked on her calendar, 'I've still two weeks left two find an alternative solution. I think he's attractive and I can imagine to have sex with him but I would like us both awake, when we do it.'

She re-read the passage:

...The blood of a virgin binds the soul to its body. The incantation calls the spirits of the earth for help. This ritual requires certain sacred conditions to work properly.

1. The ritual has to be performed on the soil, in direct contact to mother nature.

2. No form of contraception is allowed, as nature must be able to flow freely during the ritual.

3. If a child is conceived during the ritual, it may not be aborted. Every child conceived during a sacred ritual is sacred by nature...

Luna choked. She really had to think about that. What would happen, if she became pregnant? She had always dreamt about having a family and children – perhaps because she was an only-child who had lost her mother too early - she always wanted a happy loving family with more than two members. But she still had one year to finish at Hogwarts. And afterwards she wanted to travel the world writing articles for her father's magazine or she wanted to become a healer or a Potions mistress or a Charms mistress. How could she do this with a child?

Would Snape stay and help her? Did she really want him to stay because of a child he didn't want and because he owed his life to her?

Shaking her head Luna made a decision - she wanted him to stay with her but out of love and not out off debt. She wanted him to love her like she loved him – she had come to love him while she cared for him. And for her love she was willing to give her virginity, so that he could survive and finally live.

Luna went over to the bed and sat down next to Severus. She stroked his hair out off his face and kissed his forehead: "Severus Snape, I, Luna Lovegood, will find a way to help you. I do this, because I love you and I don't want that you believe you owe me a life debt. I swear that I'll always love you and be there for you. And so you won't owe me a life debt, because you are the only man I will love for as long as we both shall live." As she said these words a wizard's oath took place – Luna Lovegood had just sworn Severus Snape eternal love.

Luna looked down at Severus and kissed his lips - still unconscious - he responded and kissed her back.

After the kiss Luna laughed: "Well, obviously you aren't Sleeping Beauty, I kissed you and you are still asleep."

She wanted to be close to him and stroked his hair out of his face. She lay down on the bed next to him.

Luna was tired after researching for so long. She snuggled to Severus side and fell asleep next him. Unconsciously he moved closer to her and wrapped an arm around her.

Luna woke feeling warm and comfortable. She smelled something warm and spicy next to her. She opened her eyes and saw Severus Snape lying next to her. His arm lay over her body and he was snuggled close to her. She wondered how a comatose man could have unconsciously looked for intimacy through snuggling. Luna really wondered how deep his coma could be. But he was still in a coma and was breathing steadily.

"Good morning, Severus", Luna said and kissed him. She left the bed and went to the bathroom. She took a shower and dressed herself for the new day. She told the house elves to make breakfast and went back to the master bedroom. She sat down on the bed next to Severus and fed him the nutrition potion.

She took her wand and checked his vitals. He was still in a deep coma; his consciousness hadn't improved since she had rescued him from the Shrieking Shack. The Virgin blood Ritual really WAS necessary, nothing else would help.

Luna was quite proficient with healing charms and medical potions, when her mother died she promised herself to become a healer. She never wanted to be damned to helplessly watch again, how someone died who was important to her.

Luna started to learn the necessary healer skills in the holidays after her first year at Hogwarts and secretly apprenticed Healing with an old healer who had retired from St Mungos a few years ago. She hadn't taken the exams yet, but she had learned everything a fully-trained healer knew. No one at Hogwarts knew about her wish to become a healer, they all thought she would follow her fathers footsteps and become a journalist and editor of the Quibbler. But the truth was, Luna loved having secrets, she thought it boring, if people were too easy to read – this was one reason why she liked Severus Snape the man always was a mystery.

"Only one week left until I can perform the ritual with you though that you will wake up from your coma. I have to brew some potions for you and also for the ritual. But I'll come back later and tell you more." Luna told.

Luna spoke to Severus every day, she didn't know how much he really heard but she thought it might help him and his soul while being trapped in his unconscious body. And – but she didn't really want to admit it – she felt lonely without talking to him. Well, why not – she loved Thestrals, weird jewellery and Severus Snape – no wonder her classmates always called her 'Loony' Lovegood.

The next day she started brewing the potion for the ritual, which both of them would have to imbibe. The last ingredient needed – the blood of the man who was to be healed. She went into the master bedroom and took a silver dagger from her robes.

"Sorry Severus, but I need a bit of your blood for your potion as well as some of your hairs."

She cut off a lock of his ebony coloured hair with the silver dagger. After that she took his left hand in her left hand and cut in it. She caught his blood in an empty vial. Then she took her wand and healed the cut. With these ingredients she went back to the potions lab in the cellar. There she cut off a lock of her own blond hair in cut in her left hand to take some of her own blood.

She put these last ingredients into the potion and stirred it seven times counter-clockwise. She extinguished the flame under the cauldron and stirred the potion three times clockwise, and it reached its final blood-red colour.

Luna returned to the master bedroom. She jumped onto the bed next to Severus and kissed him. Now she knew she loved him and she would do anything for him. In her heart she hoped that maybe one day he would love her like she loved him. She wanted him to be happy and secretly wished he would be happy with her.

"The potion is finished now. Everything is ready now, in two days it is time for the Virgins-Ritual, then you can finally wake up again."

She stroked his hair and feed him another dose of nutritional potion. Two days and he would be able to eat again. She called She called the house elves Sunny and Moony and told them to prepare a real feast in two days time. She also asked them to bake a big chocolate cake.

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On the morning of the midsummer night the, the twenty-first June Luna woke before dawn. It would be a long day, not only because it was the longest day of the year but because of the ritual.

She called her house elves told them to prepare everything for the ritual. Then she pulled off her clothes and put on a long loose-fitting white dress with nothing underneath. She took of all her jewellery and brushed her hair until it fell loose over her shoulders like liquid gold.

It was just before dawn when she dressed Severus in a lose-fitting white linen shirt and equally lose-fitting white linen trousers. Then she asked Moony to bring him to the spring in the forest, were the first part of the ritual was supposed to take place.

She took Severus with her in the pond which was filled by the spring. Although it was summer the water was quite cool. In the pond she washed them both with the fresh, clear water from the spring. While she was washing them both, she chanted the ancient purification incantation necessary for the ritual. They both had to be purified by nature for the ritual to work.

When she was finished she asked Sunny and Moony to put Severus into Natures sacred Circle in the middle of the meadow. The outline of the circle was made of different aspects of nature and life there were flowers and fruits. Luna walked around Severus following the circle, she was chanting to praise Mother Nature and the holy earth where all life comes from.

She took one vial of the potion she had brewed for the ritual and began to massage Snape's naked body. She started with his feet and legs she moved up massaging every inch of his body. He instantly reacted to her tender ministrations. Although unconscious his body wanted to take part in the ritual, at least one part of him seemed to be awake – his member stood half-erect begging for Luna's attention.

She was over him and stroked his lean body and massaged his muscular breast with the potion. She got aroused by feeling his strong body while she administered the potion to him.

After massaging Snape's body Luna started to massage her own body with the potion. The potion instantly increased her arousal as it contained a strong aphrodisiac.

She moved over Severus body and kissed him, she slipped her tongue over his lips and his mouth opened out of reflex. She slipped her tongue into his mouth and kissed him feverishly. She felt her own arousal – she was wet. She also felt Severus arousal at her bottom, his member stood fully-erect up now.

Luna knew what she had to do to perform the ritual. She was a virgin and honestly this wasn't how she would have ever imagined her first time to be. She wasn't even sure, if she was aroused enough for the next step yet. She took her left hand from his torso and started to play with her clitoris until she felt her orgasm.

Luna took Severus member in her hand and positioned him at her entrance. She took a deep breath and lowered herself onto him till she felt the barrier of her maidenhead. She took another deep breath and pushed herself down on to his shaft, till he filled her completely. She sat still and waited for the initial pain to ease. Then she started moving up and down his shaft intoning the incantation for the ritual.

Magic began to swirl around their connected bodies. With every breath they took the power of the nature and the earth into their bodies. Luna felt herself getting stronger, they both started to glow in white light. The sexual tension flowed between them as did the magic. Their bodies were connected through magic and sex. Luna moved faster and faster and repeated the incantation over and over again getting louder and louder in the process. She was like in trance – there were only sex and magic in the entire universe – she and Severus belonged together in the most ancient way of nature. Only Luna and Severus existed. They were glowing magically – they were timeless and together for all eternity in that moment. The moment became eternity.

Luna was gone in the bliss of the moment as she felt her release washing over her. Her inner muscles cramped down on Severus member and triggered his release. He spilled his seed deep into her.

Panting and totally exhausted Luna finished the last incantation. Then she stood up and redressed herself. She took her wand and scourgified them both. As she was finished she looked at him again and stroked his hair. As she touched him, he opened his eyes.

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"Am I dead?" Severus asked huskily. He could hardly use his voice after that awful snakebite and the time he hadn't used it. He couldn't really see anything, because everything was bright and sunny and his eyes weren't used to light any more.

"No, Severus", an angelic voice answered him.

After a few moments he discerned his surroundings and recognized Luna.

"Miss Lovegood, would you mind telling me why I am here with you and most of all why I am NAKED?"

"That was necessary for the healing ritual I performed on you. I used the power of earth and nature to wake you out of your coma."

She handed him a robe and wanted to help him up. But he pushed her hand away from his arm. He didn't want any more help from that girl. Luna called her house elf Moony and asked him to apparate Severus and her back to the dining room of the mansion.

"Professor Snape you should eat something. The last two month you were only fed through nutritional potions." Luna said and led him to the table where the house elves had already put a large variety of food.

"Miss Lovegood, why have you helped me? I was your teacher for six years and you hated me like Potter and his gang." Snape asked.

"I don't hate you, sir, and I've never hated you. I felt it necessary to rescue you from the Shrieking Shack when Harry told the story of your life and your love for Lily Potter" – Severus flinched as he heard that name - "while he was fighting Voldemort" – he also flinched as he heard that name – "I wanted to save you because you deserve a chance to finally have a life!" Luna was totally calm and logical as she explained her opinions concerning his life.

"Are you trying to tell me that Potter embarrassed me in front of the entire Wizarding Community by telling them about my non-existent love-life? I might be not dead, but I am certainly in HELL. I will leave our world, I grew up in the muggle world – I don't need to stay here to be laughed at by everyone

Luna answered smiling: "If you want it to put like that, you are right. But you are one of the greatest heroes of our world. You've already got your own chocolate-frog-card. You will be celebrated - but I guess you don't want fame. I have your wand in your bedroom, and there is a potions lab in my house here – so you can disguise yourself, get your belongings out of Hogwarts and then start a new life somewhere else. That's what you want, isn't it?"

Severus Snape was taken aback. This dreamy schoolgirl had figured him out. She knew exactly what he wanted to do, while everybody believed him dead:

"That's the plan and it will work if you tell nobody what you did for me. I am finally free. I'll go away and enjoy my freedom. Perhaps I'll return someday, maybe not."

She smiled at him sadly: "It is your own life – finally."

He went to the master bedroom took his wand and dressed himself properly, then he apparated away to his house in Spinner's End.

He had left for good. Luna was alone in her ancestry's home and started to cry. She had hoped he would be more open – but obviously she was wrong. He wasn't ready to commit to anyone again yet. He wasn't ready for a relationship.

Luna saw him for who he was and she loved him for it. He had lived his life for others too long – he needed freedom

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Her life continued as before after Severus Snape had left. Luna returned to Hogwarts to start her seventh on the first of September. Although there was something different, she was six weeks along in her pregnancy. She started feeling sick two weeks after Snape had left her and the Wizarding World, she didn't know where he had gone, but she didn't want to burden him anyway. He had left her without saying "Thank you" or "Goodbye".

Her main problem now was, how would she be able to have her baby in March and sit her NEWTS in May to finish her schooling – she really had to talk to the Headmistress McGonagal and her Head of House Flitwick – but she had no idea what to tell them, because single mothers were normally frowned upon in the Wizarding world.

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A few weeks into the first term of the first school year after the final fall of Voldemort Headmistress McGonagal was completely distraught. There where at least thirty pregnant students between fifth and seventh year. Most of the girls apparently didn't even know who the fathers of their children might be – the Headmistress was at her wits end. What was she supposed to do with all the pregnant students and their babies who were to be born during the spring term at school?

The School board was at a loss as well. After many discussions between the teachers and the school governors a decision was made. They decided the pregnant students – at least the seventh years – should take their NEWTs early, in the week before Christmas. The younger girls should take a break in their schooling – the school would offer them owl-study-lessons they could do at home while raising their children – they'd only have to come to school for practical lessons once a week via the floo-network.

In December Luna Lovegood, Ginny Weasley–soon-to-be-Potter sat their NEWTs along with several other pregnant classmates. They both passed. Luna did remarkably well, considering her delicate situation and the fact that they were taking the exams half a year early - she received seven O's and two E's.

Although not being pregnant Hermione Granger took her NEWTs together with Luna, Ginny and the other pregnant students – she couldn't stand the idea of her boyfriend's younger sister getting her NEWTs sooner than she. But she considered doing the exams again – she had only received seven 'Outstanding' and two 'Exceeds Expectation'. She was devastated when she learned that the pregnant Looney Lovegood had received the same marks on her NEWTs – Hermione was the brightest witch of her age and that just wasn't possible. But when she told Luna about the situation, the younger dreamy-eyed girl just looked at her as if she – Hermione Granger – was insane. Looney Lovegood was questioning Hermione Granger's sanity.

After her NEWT's Luna talked to Professor Slughorn about an apprenticeship – the Potions Master wanted to retire again. They decided that Luna would start in September – half a year after she had given birth – and she would finally be his replacement two years later.

The only problem was her father – Xenophilos Lovegood had hoped that his daughter would assist him publishing the Quibbler after finishing school and he was rather surprised about his daughter's pregnancy – she had never really shown any interest in boys after all. The editor had difficulties coming to terms with the fact that his innocent little daughter was having twins out of wedlock, so he accepted that his daughter would stay at Hogwarts.

Alexander and Selena Lovegood were born on March the 21st 1999, nearly a year after the end of the Magical War against Lord Voldemort.

Harry Potter's son with Ginny Weasley was born on the first anniversary of the victory. Molly Weasley was truly happy about her new grandchild – although she had to come to terms with the fact that her daughter had got pregnant before they were married. But when she saw the tiny baby boy James Sirius Potter she was just happy.

Harry was happy having his son and wife – but there was also a tinge of sadness in his heart, because he had never known his parents and his son would never know his paternal grandparents.