A/N: Yet more random fluff.
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"So, you grip it like this?"
"No, no! That's too tight! Hold the shaft in a relaxed grip—not too relaxed, or it'll fly out of your hands—that's much better. Now keep your eyes focused on the ball—Zoro! What the hell are you doing?" Usopp cried in exasperation as he looked at his crewmate.
"What?"
"Take that out of your mouth! Now!"
"But…"
"No buts!"
"Are you ordering me around, Usopp?" Zoro asked, his voice suddenly dangerously low.
Usopp felt something quiver (probably his knees. Yep, those were his knees shaking) as he swallowed. "N-no, I'm just trying to teach you…"
"But I still haven't been able to do it yet. You haven't let me," Zoro said with the impatience of a child.
Usopp took a deep breath. "Zoro, I'm trying to teach you how to play golf, but you keep getting distracted!" They hadn't understood why Luffy had felt the need to stop by this island called the "Golfer's Paradise," but he suspected it had something to do with the sumptuous buffet the only hotel on the island offered. Zoro supposed that the golf course and driving range that the island's caretakers groomed so carefully were kind of nice, if you were into that sort of thing; he didn't really care much for it.
Zoro shrugged as he looked at the golf clubs he had placed in his mouth and hands. "I just think that three clubs would be more effective than one."
"There's only one ball! How would that be possible?" Usopp shrieked as he felt his insanity running away, laughing gleefully.
"Because it just is!"
"Let me take over, Usopp," Sanji said. "I've already taught Luffy how to do it."
"Really? Wow, Zoro. You're behind Luffy."
"…shut up."
"How'd you do it?" Usopp asked.
Sanji shrugged. "I just promised him food if he paid attention and didn't use his Gomu Gomu abilities. Simple as pie."
"Okay," Usopp said confidently. "I'll go help Chopper then."
Sanji looked at the slightly perplexed swordsman before him who was still gripping three golf clubs.
"…baka."
"What did you just call me?" Zoro snarled. He put up a fighting stance. "Are you picking a fight?"
Sanji sighed. "Just one golf club, Zoro. Didn't you learn ittoryu before nitoryu and santoryu?"
Zoro suddenly looked thoughtful as the thought struck him. "You're right!" He dropped the two golf clubs on the floor and took the one from his mouth in his hands. "Okay. What do I do?"
"Well, just stand as you think you should stand in front of the ball as if you were about to swing," Sanji suggested. "I'll fix your form as we go along." Zoro listened with surprising obedience as he obliged. Sanji clicked his tongue as he looked at Zoro. "Move your feet a little more apart and stand a little back…hands a tad lower—there you go…hm…now try swinging."
The ball flew forward a few feet with a solid thwack before falling to the ground pathetically. Zoro gaped at the sad performance.
"What the hell happened?" he demanded, turning to Sanji. "That…did you see that?"
Sanji grinned. He had had the same reaction the first time he had tried his hands at golf; a passing pirate's ship called the Tiger's Wood had taught him how to play. "Put another ball on the tee and try again." He moved to stand behind Zoro and gripped the other man's hands after wrapping his arms around him. "Let me show you…"
Zoro squirmed uncomfortably. "Hey, isn't there any other way of doing this?"
"No."
"…you sure?"
"No. Now, follow my lead." Sanji led Zoro's arms through the correct movements. "Yes, that's it, very good." He did this several times to acclimate Zoro's arms to the unfamiliar motions. "Think of it like your 108 Pound Hou, but…different."
"Thanks, that really helps."
Sanji gripped Zoro's hands more tightly as a warning. "Come on, you can do this. Now, follow my lead…" The golf club swung up slowly and steadily. "Now, come back in the same arc that it went up with."
Thwock.
"Did you see that?" Zoro said excitedly as they watched the pockmarked white ball fly across the driving range. "That was amazing, if I do say so myself."
Sanji snorted. "Good job. Try it again."
"…are you going to keep your arms around me?"
Sanji blinked as he looked at the position they were in. It was a little too intimate for his tastes, honestly. He was now acutely aware of the way his chest bumped against Zoro's back, the way his arms were wrapped around Zoro's broad shoulders and arms, the curve of his legs against Zoro's, the grinding of his crotch—okay let's not go there just yet, Sanji.
Apparently, Zoro was very aware of this as well as he wriggled in Sanji's hold.
"Yes, I'm going to keep my arms around you," Sanji said with a smile. "Go ahead, keep writhing. I'm not letting you go."
Zoro could feel how much Sanji liked this through his cargo pants and smirked.
"You're such a bitch when it comes to PDA," Zoro snorted as he lowered the golf club again.
"You know you like it."
Whack.
"Wow, Zoro, that went really far!" Luffy cried from the neighboring booth. "Let's see if I can beat you! Gomu Gomu no..."
"Ah, I knew that Luffy couldn't stay away from his Gomu Gomu for long," Sanji sighed.
"…Gorufu!" [1]
Certainly, the ball did go very far.
So did Luffy's arms.
What the rubberman had failed to take into account was the rebounding effect of his flailing rubber limbs. If you add the fact that he was gripping a long steel pole, this meant devastation.
Zoro sighed. "Time to bail out my captain…"
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Zoro sat on Sanji's bed in the hotel they were staying at on the golfing island. The rooms were in pairs and for some reason Nami had thought it would be smart to put the two most outwardly antagonistic people together in one room.
Maybe she knew something that the others didn't know; maybe she didn't.
Not that I care, Zoro thought.
"Are you done in the bathroom, cook?" Zoro called. "You've been in there forever."
"You already cleaned up, didn't you?" Sanji's muffled voice slid through the bathroom door and echoed around the tiled bathroom. "I'll be out in a minute."
Zoro grumbled as he flopped onto the bed and curled up with a pillow. He would never admit it, but his arms were a little stiff from the unfamiliar motions that came from golfing—as well as the cleanup he had to do for the wreckage that Luffy had made with his Gomu Gomu no Gorofu.
He found himself drifting off, dreaming lazily about the way Sanji's body felt against his. Normally he didn't mind spooning with the other man—after they got the nitty gritty down, of course—but he'd never been anything but the 'big spoon' before.
Zoro heard the bathroom door open as Sanji came out in a rush of steam and scented shampoo.
He felt the mattress shift as Sanji crawled on the soft surface towards him.
He smiled when Sanji's arms wrapped around him from behind.
Apparently, Sanji liked being the big spoon sometimes, too.
"Is this okay?" Zoro mumbled through a face full of pillow.
Sanji's only response was to pull Zoro more closely to him and nuzzle his short hair with his nose. "Mmhm. Stop talking and go to sleep."
It took a long time for them to fall into slumber; they were too busy enjoying the unfamiliar position.
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[1] Gorofu is how Japanese people say Golf.