A/N: After an EXTREMELY long, drawn out job search, during which I read many very silly job ads, and had to submit many creative versions of my resume, I ended up working as a cog in a huge bureaucracy. My silly, ironic side came out, and collided firmly with repeated viewings of Stargate. It's not much of an excuse, but it's all I have. :)

In the Service of Apophis

YOUR GLORIOUS and ALL-KNOWING GOD NEEDS YOU!

Positions are currently available for skilled administrative professionals within the ranks of the Magnificent Lord Apophis aboard his most splendid Mothership Dromos.

Benefits include:

Serving your God

Leaving your planet for the luxury of life aboard a Mothership

Seeing the galaxy and meeting new people

Security for your family for as long as you remain in service

Pay

Apply now! Interviews will be conducted at the Glorious Lord Apophis Administrative Headquarters this week only.

It was a dreary job but somebody had to do it, and once every year the duty fell to him. This time, he was hoping to get something out of it! His beloved Angeline had been asking him for months to help her get a position on Apophis' Mothership Dromos - imagine having her working right down the hall!

It was a dilemma for him though, he had to admit, and he had spent his evenings at the local pub chewing it over with his buddies. Normally Edwin took pains not to hire anyone "blessed" by the gods -- in terms of physical appearance anyway.

After a third long day of interviews, Edwin again reclined in the Kicking Tok'ra Pub with an old friend who had had the misfortune of being assigned to a planetary office a few years back. A full week of interviews! Edwin needed a drink, badly, but he was looking forward to getting back to his warm bunk aboard the Mothership Dromos. This mud and rain was driving him crazy. And the critters! Edwin had been in space for ten years now and he was just not accustomed anymore to all the rats and insects that infested these horrible planets. He didn't understand how Frank could stand it; and this was one of the better planets. As Head of Human and Jaffa Resources for the ship, Edwin could choose his assignments. Still, if it weren't for his beloved Angeline, and the chance to jaw with his old buddy Frank, he would have found a way around this onerous duty.

Edwin flicked away the beetle making its way towards his dish of nuts and explained, "It's not just from the goodness of my heart, Frank! I mean sure it's true that the one thing you don't want is to have your newest mailroom lackey, who you've just started to put through his paces, all of a sudden chosen as a Goa'uld host and hating you forever for having been his boss for a stint. But also, having your staff plucked to be hosts just plays havoc with your departmental productivity levels! Do you know what a pain it is to find qualified people and train them up before they mess up in the presence of the wrong Jaffa and get themselves killed?"

"Ed, if you want to hire Angie, then DO IT, man! You've put in your years of service; you ought to get something for it!"

"Don't get me wrong, Frank, I'd be in heaven having her close by. Having to wait months to see her is just torture. But think of the danger I'd be putting her in by hiring her."

"Danger...?"

"Haven't you been listening, man? Apophis is on a progeny rampage these days. He has vats of symbiotes aboard his ships. Ange is an angel! She'd get taken as a host within a week. Much as I want her with me, I can't put her in that kind of danger. Sure, they say it's a great honour to be taken as a host and join the ranks of the gods. But she'd no longer be MINE, would she? Perhaps I'm just being selfish."

Frank leaned in and lowered his voice. "Ed, can I be straight with you?"

"Of course, Frank! How long have we been buds?"

Frank was careful to keep his voice below the din of the pub. It was unlikely that anyone would eavesdrop, but you could never be too careful. Everyone knew that Edwin was in town to hire people for what were considered plum Mothership positions. "Well then, if you want my advice, I think you should hire Ange. Keep her close. Life is short enough, Apophis knows. You're a good friend, but honestly... I know you think she's a vision of beauty but, uh… I think she'd be safe aboard ship with you."

"WHAT ARE YOU SAYING, FRANK!"

"Ed, you know the expression 'beauty is in the eye of the beholder'?"

"Of course! Ange is a knockout!" Edwin exclaimed. "There's nothing wrong with MY eyes!"

Frank leaned back and raised his mug to Edwin, "That she is, that she is," he agreed. All I'm saying is that ... and this is a blessing to be grateful for, to be certain ... her beauty is the kind that needs seeing by a good man like you." He leaned in again to nod confidentially, "I don't think Apophis has your eye."

Edwin eyed his buddy uncertainly while Frank concentrated on drinking his brew.

Edwin pondered. "It's true my Angie isn't troubled too much by the men in her village. I've never been able to figure out why, but it has always given me a measure of relief, I'll admit."

"Those men don't have your eye, Ed!" Frank hurried on, "Angeline's beauty is of a particular, uh, unique style, and I really think that her style wouldn't appeal to the Goa'uld. She'd be perfectly safe aboard ship. Especially with you right there. I mean you've been aboard a long time now. you know all the best hiding places if it came down to it, don't you?"

"That's true, Frank." Edwin thought out loud, "There are file storage closets that none of the Jaffa even know are there..."

Frank placed his empty mug conspicuously on the table. "So, you're gonna hire her then?"

"I think I am!" Edwin breathed.

Frank held his breath and hoped that his buddy Edwin would finish his own last gulp of brew and be looking for a bit more before rushing to his Angeline's bed for the night. "Good on you! This calls for a celebratory drink!" Frank hinted.

"A round on me!" shouted Edwin.

The bar erupted in cheers. Frank smiled and Edwin contemplated his next Mothership Dromos tour with his beautiful Angeline by his side.