Disclaimer: I do not own anything of Merlin it all belongs to the BBC all I own is the twisted plot XD

A/N: This fic was inspired by my I Want Santa In His Chambers, Hop On Mister Easter Bunny, Mother Nature Bless Us This Year, You make a good fairy, sire, Humpty Dumpty, Arthur, Merlin and Little Bo Peep!?, Merlin and Arthurs little mouse, Alia and the Star Light, Arthur and His Men, Uthers' and Gaius' 3 Little Kittens, And Down Will Come Merlin, Cradle an All, Little Miss Muffet, Wise Old Owl, And The Dish Ran Away With The Spoon, She's Dead, Of Course, The King, Queen and Knave And Hush Little Baby Fics. You do not have to read them first but it might be a good idea lol. You know for amusement sake.

Warnings: Slash, some humour...uh that is about all I think. Exasperation? Maybe.

A/N: A review to Humpty Dumpty submitted by LadyPeneloSolidor asked if I could write one with a certain plot to it and the idea made me smile so I went onto the faithful internet and found a nursery rhyme that I could work with. So if this is good you owe her some thanks and if it is bad you can go flame her. XD

A/N2: For those following my other stories I hope this makes up for the lack of updates. I just have not been in the writing mood and the time I do get in the writing mood it is not the mood for the stories I have started.

St. Ives...I mean Ealdor!

Merlin chuckled at Arthur who was riding with Alia in front of him. The trip they had taken to Ealdor had been nothing but amusing from start to finish...well almost finish, they had ten minutes or so of the journey left.

The last month had been rather calm, well as calm as it got with Alia. However, she had been less disastrous and was seemingly settling into the role as the Princes' daughter. That was until Arthur told her they were going on a little trip.

"Daddy!" Merlin looked up with a chuckle as his child came skidding into Arthurs room crashing into the just made bed. "Daddy! Papa told me were going to a different village to see someone who you love"

"That is the plan."

"But you love papa"

"I do, very much. This person is someone I love like Granda Gaius and Grandpa Uther but they are more important to me then Grandpa Uther."

"Oh" she grinned the pouted

"What?" he chuckled

"You and papa are like a husband and wife, yes?"

"I suppose, why?"

"And you wouldn't want to leave papa alone if we go away?"

"Never"

"Den" she announced with a grin "my Husband can come!?!" Merlin chocked and spluttered.

"Husband?" she chocked eyeing him curiously. He grabbed her and slung her over his shoulder making her laugh as he stormed out

"ARTHUR!!!!"

As I was going to St. Ives I met a man with seven wives,

It turned out that a boy from the village had been playing a game with Alia and some of the other kids from the village and they had been hiding together. Alia was 'In Love' with this boy and her friends had 'witnessed' the 'wedding' conducted by one of the older, but still young, children.

Arthur had gone completely crazy when Merlin had told him about their 'son-in-law'. However, he made sure to keep calm until Alia went for her nap, then the Prince had stormed off to find out just whom this kid was, according to the boy, he had many wives but Alia was his favourite.

Merlin found it was very hard to convince children they were not married. He also found out that Arthur had ideas of locking Alia in a tower for a good number of years. He quickly decided that this trip was going to cause him a massive headache; he really had no idea to what extent though.

Each wife had seven sacks, each sack had seven cats,

As he rubbed his head, Merlin wondered if he should declare himself a seer to Gaius. His prediction of a headache had been more then correct and he had had once since Alia had declared her 'marriage'. The headache seemed to get worse for every hour that time moved towards the morning when they were leaving, which was a few days ago. However, he did not doubt for one second that it would last until they were back in Camelot, finding whatever Alia had left for them; meaning whatever animals she still had stashed around the castle with the servants bribed into feeding and caring for.

"Merlin, Beautiful?" Merlin looked up from his book to see a bemused and stressed looking prince leaning against the bedpost of the luxurious bed, which Merlin was starting to call his own.

"Hi" he smiled, Arthur forced a smile back, and Merlin raised an eyebrow. "What now?"

"You have to see this to believe me" he smiled this time with more amusement. He offered his hand and Merlin stood taking the hand whilst accepting the soft kiss from his lover and then walked out with him, following him to their daughters' room. He chocked at the sight of his daughter sat in the middle of her bed with a number of cages around the room and a moving sack, she also had a cat in her lap.

"Alia, darling, why do you have all of these animals?"

"'Day come wif' us daddy" she said happily Merlin opened the moving sack and stared as six cats scrambled out before running about chasing each other. Birds, Snakes, Bugs, Rats, Cats. The girl had almost every animal in her room.

"They can't come with us"

"Why?" she pouted hugging the cat to her. Merlin sighed and lent his head on Arthurs shoulder shaking it subtly and his princely boyfriend chuckled. The child had figured out the one word that instantly caused parents migraines.

"Because, sweetie, we cannot possibly travel with all these animals, you shouldn't have them anyway!" She pouted at them and Merlin chuckled leaning down and kissing her forehead. "In the morning, before we leave you will ask the other servants to help you take them back to where they came from" she sighed and nodded. He tucked her up and kissed her again before leaving Arthur to tell her a story, which he was meant to be able to do before he came back to the room. Merlin was just glad it was finally bed time for the little girl and collapsed on the soft bed, stretching out and smiling when Arthur joined him holding him tightly, he wondered what they were thinking when they agreed to become parents.

Each cat had seven kits: kits, cats, sacks and wives,

Arthur had found it incredibly amusing the next morning when he was loading the bags onto the mounts that there was a bag of seven kittens all happily asleep. It had resulted in a very long hour of telling Alia that they were not taking any animals with them and that she was only allowed to keep one because she gave Arthur very wide and watery eyes.

Merlin still did not believe that they were animal free, or even free of random items that had 'snuck' their way into the bags.

How many were going to St. Ives?

"Merlin! Prince Arthur!" the two men looked away from where their horses were being tied to the woman who was standing at the door of her run down house. Arthur greeted the woman with a smile and a bow kissing her hand, causing her to smile back and draw him into a hug. She then hugged Merlin just as tightly and then Gaius who stood off to the side with Uther.

"Hunith, King Uther Pendragon"

"Sire" she curtsied and he smiled kissing her knuckles.

"You do not have to curtsy to the father of your sons' lover" he murmured quietly then chuckled when he caught something out of the corner of his eyes. "Boys?" they turned to him from their whispered conversation. He nodded to the left and they looked then groaned seeing a giggling Alia running to a dog that stood at the farmers' side.

"ALIA!" Merlin and Arthur shouted at the same time and shared a look.

"Get back here young girl!" Arthur ordered and she giggled running back and hugging his legs.

"But papa I only wanted to play with the doggy" she pouted making Arthur sigh and pinch the bridge of his nose.

"Alia, Little Princess' have to behave themselves remember? You have act like a young lady remember?" Merlin said crouching

"But the doggy..." Merlin groaned softly and Arthur chuckled.

"How about you ask Grandpa, Grandpa Gaius and your Grandmother, after you introduce yourself to her, if they would take you over to the doggy and ask the man if you may play with him, just do not get too dirty." Arthur compromised and the girl thought about it before turning to Hunith.

"Hello, I Alia, Daddy says your his mummy so your my Grandmummy like Grandpa is papa's daddy" she grinned and the bemused woman smiled gently down at her

"I'm Hunith but you can call me Grandma if it is easier"

"Okie" she grinned toothily at her then looked at Merlin. "I go to doggy now?"

"Ask your grandpas" she turned to them and pouted, "That is not asking" he scolded as Uther gave and picked her up.

"Is" she grinned and the two men walked off with Hunith who gave them a look that said they would be explaining.

"That is not asking?"

"I know it's not love" he chuckled discretely kissing his ear and squeezing his hand "but I think we deserve a drink."

"Me too" he grinned and left the knights to unload the mounts as he led Arthur to the nearest tavern.