Disclaimer: I don't own any of the twilight characters

Reformatting a lot of this one too, some of it had been so rough!

Renesmee's POV

There are two dilemmas that rattle the human skull: How do you hang on to someone who won't stay? And how do you get rid of someone who won't go?

The War of the Roses

I nestled deeper into the hollow of Embry's neck, as if I could just bury myself in him. He had been my safe haven for so long. He reached out and wrapped his arms around me. We had both caught word of Jacob's return and I knew that meant he would be looking for me. I had a few memories of him, but they were all so clear I felt like they had just happened yesterday.

I could remember Jacob constantly holding me as a baby and how warms his palm felt. I remember him brushing my hair from my eyes. I remember him whispering all of his hopes and dreams for the future. It all felt like a lifetime ago. I remember how painful the ache of missing him felt. No one could seem to give me the answers I was looking for. They couldn't tell me where Jake had gone or when he would return. Even as a small child, I had adjusted to him being a constant in my life.

"Ness everything will be alright. I'll be there with you the whole time." Embry whispered as he brushed his lips across my forehead.

"Promise?" I whispered back.

"Have I ever let you down before?"

I looked up at him to be greeted by the biggest grin possible. I couldn't help but smile in return. I stared into Embrys eyes for all the things we didn't need to say before I returned my head back to his chest.

I listened to his steady heartbeat as he got lost in the movie again. I felt all my nerves and anxiety bubble in my throat. Why had Jacob come back now? I repeatedly asked myself this like a bad mantra and I wasn't any closer to finding the answer. I closed my eyes and tried to focus on the thumping of Embrys heart. My own heart still fluttered every time I listened to his, like I would never quite adjust to the sound. I could feel a knot form in my stomach for all the emotions it brought out from me. The way I felt for Embry was completely endless. I knew that love just didn't simply cover it all.

At first I had been searching for something to replace the void Jacob had left in my life. I didn't realize how big this void was until I bumped into his former pack about seven years after he left. They all looked like him and it took my breath away. They smiled and joked like he did. When they all laughed, I told myself if I listened hard enough I could hear him too. The fleeting moments I got to spend with all of them did nothing to bring me comfort. I'd spend my days lurking outside of LaPush to even catch a glimpse of any of them. I ended up finding Embry in one of my many episodes of waiting. He had been so good for me even then, but at the time I didn't realize how much of an impact he would make. The way he had carried himself relaxed everyone around him. He was able to crack a smile, and light up the entire room.

He has been by my side since that day. I never had to question whether he would stick around. Embry had always been the balance of anything I needed in my life. He had been the wildly fierce protective brother. The best friend that made me laugh until I cried. He had brought an ease with him as I transitioned through all of my rapidly changing emotions. He listened to my over dramatic melt downs about trivial things that felt like the end of the world at the time. It wasn't until a few years after I had reached full maturity. I was suddenly less self absorbed and I became aware of Embry. I mean I had always noticed that he was handsome, it's not as if he didn't have girls that he dated casually. It wasn't just about his looks though, it was the whole of him. I had seen his soul and I couldn't shake how much it mirrored my own. The only thing that stood in the way of us then was Embry himself. He dug his heels in and rejected all of my advances. He treated me so much like I was made of glass and he was going to crush me. Eventually after some persistence on my part he came around to see it my way. It had been exactly three years ago that we decided that this was it. I didn't want to spend even one more day where he wasn't mine.

I felt a slow heat creep up my neck as all the memories of us came back to me. I couldn't help but reflect on all the love I had for Embry. I think partly the heat in my cheeks was due to the shame of so many secrets. I had been living with these since I was born.

I was Jacobs imprint.

Even the thoughts left my mouth tasting bitter. I didn't want Jacob to return because that meant everything would change for me. I know Embry had a sense of loyalty to his pack. What I didn't know was if that loyalty still extended to Jacob. Was I expected to give Embry up now that Jake decided it was a convenient time for him to show up? I honestly hoped that's not the way it worked. My mother would agree that I didn't have to go down that route if I didn't want to. Embry was my comfort and my safe space. I didn't have the capacity to picture my world without him.

A small knowing smirk crept on me as I heard Embrys stomach growl. He scratched the back of his head with an awkward stretch. As if on signal Emily announced that the food was done.

Embry, Quil, Seth, and Leah were the only original wolves left from the pack. They were also accompanied by Jared and Kim's sixteen year old son Johnny. There hadn't been much trouble in LaPush since the battle with the Volturi eighteen years ago.

Jared had gone on to marry Kim, they had three kids together. Johnny was the oldest being sixteen. He had come into his Quileute gene only a few weeks ago. Kyrs who was fourteen and Melissa who was seven. Jared decided to stop shifting when Johnny was ten in order to grow old with Kim.

Sam had only stopped shifting three years ago. Emily was starting to age too, gray evident in her once silky black her. I assumed he couldn't imagine life without her considering she was his imprint. They didn't have any kids together, I think it was due to the fact that the pack were like there children now.

Paul and Rachel got married a few years after I was born. The wedding was nice and simple from all of the pictures I've seen. They have two kids now and one on the way. Ashten who was fifteen, Marie who was fourteen and another baby boy on the way. Paul followed with everyone else, and had stopped shifting too.

Claire and Quil had just recently begun dating; formally anyway. He'd been her best friend and constant companion up to this point. Fate was always working against Claire the moment Quil met her. She couldn't not be with him now. He had charmed his way into being her whole world. Claire was my absolute best friend, but I couldn't help but be envious of the relationship she had.

Embry was the only guy I had ever loved, but he didn't give me the looks Quil gave Claire. He didn't look at me like I was his whole world. He didn't need to be with me every second of the day. Quil needed Claire that way. I couldn't help but think that if Jacob were here than someone would look at me that way.

My heart thumped around in my chest, and I felt a pang of guilt. I leaned up searching for Embry's familiar smoldering brown eyes. I leaned up and pressed my lips to his in an effort to push away these ugly thoughts. I felt the fire beneath his touch, and it warmed me to my core. Embry pulled away and stared down at me as if trying to memorize my face.

"I probably should get some food." he leaned in to steal one more kiss before shifting me around and got up.

It felt right to be here with all of them in Emily's house. They had all become like family to me. I couldn't let Jacob tear me away from this. He had been gone far too long to come in my life now and expect everything to change for him. I was meant to be in this place now. I felt so much ease here and no judgement whatsoever. I had Embry and Claire, they had became my home away from home.

I yawned and stretched my arms above my head. I pushed myself further into the couch and closed my eyes. I shut my eyes and felt sleep wash over my body. I had to of fallen asleep for a few hours because it was dark by the time I was jolted from sleep. People were shouting and the house suddenly felt so small. I shot up and let my eyes adjust to the dark room.

Embry was standing close to someone I didn't want to quite recognize. He was built like him, almost exactly like him infact. My heart pounded heavily as I tuned into the conversation.

"While you were off playing guard dog I was here Jake. I was here with her. Life isn't going to stop just because you weren't here!" Embry shouted.

My face contorted, my Embry never shouted. My stomach dropped, I knew that they were arguing over me, nothing else could have made Embry act this way. If anything he was more level headed than anyone else I knew.

"I always planned on coming back. She's my imprint."

Jacob stressed the sentence as he said imprint. My heart seemed to explode as the memories washed over me once more. I wasn't sure I could face seeing him now, or ever for that matter. I covered my eyes and slumped back against the couch. Maybe if I prayed hard enough, I could just disappear.

"Imprint? That's funny Jake. You didn't seem to even be thinking about how it would affect her when you left." Embry paused but I could hear the frustration in his voice. "Well hell Jake, no one has heard anything from you for years now. You stopped all contact with us like we were the enemy. We all assumed you were dead or that you just didn't care anymore."

I peeked up at the confrontation through my lashes. Embry had been waving to all of the people around him.

The whole pack had gathered for the annual bonfire at Emily's tonight. The house felt stuffed to the brim. The air was thick with tension at Jakes return. Tonight should've been spent being carefree. We should've been gathered around the fire to tell the stories of the past.

"You never even came back for Dad's funeral. And I know you knew about it. I made Edward send you the letter I wrote!" Rachel interrupted with her voice cracking. She had tears pooled behind her soft brown eyes.

She was standing up threatening to break out in tears at any given moment. Paul scowled at Jake, but didn't say anything. He took Rachel's hand and whispered something to her before leading her outside.

"You're a traitor!" Johnny shouted out, his whole body visibly shaking. He hadn't gotten a handle on his new found wolf emotions. He frequently burst out saying what everyone else was thinking.

"You never abandon your own. You turned your back on us. You didn't come back for your fathers funeral. You're pathetic. In my opinion you're not good enough to even be one of us." Johnny added through clenched teeth. He followed after Paul and Rachel; it was all he could do at this point to keep from changing in this confined space.

Jacob stared down at the ground, and I could see the tension rolling off his shoulder. He remained stoic and silent as if he was taking in everything that they had said.

"She's my imprint. I did what I had to do to save her." Jacob whispered his eyes never leaving the floor.

"You didn't even say goodbye. You just left. She remembers everything you know..." Embry's voice broke off and his eyes found me. His expression softened and I held his gaze for awhile. I wanted to say so much to him then but nothing would come out. I pulled my eyes away, no words were appropriate for anyone else to hear right now.

"I love her."

Embry held his hand up as if to stop him from saying anything else.

"Jake please just don't start this right now. I know you love her, but you only love her because she's your imprint. I love her because I know her truly. I know her soul and her dreams. She may not be my gravity, but she's damn well close. You know the rules of imprinting as well as I do. You will be whatever she needs, and right now she needs a friend or a brother figure. Nothing more and nothing less. Are you even deciding to stay this time?" Embry looked extremely serious at this point.

"Of course I'm staying. Why wouldn't I?" Jake asked.

Embry just shrugged the question off. It was clear he was done with the conversation. He walked towards me, but the grin hadn't returned. I reached out for him, letting my hands graze the familiar muscles on his arm.

"Well Jacob. It's nice to have you back." Emily said warmly. I couldn't tell if it was genuine kindness, some fake attempt at making him feel better, or just trying to ease the tension in the house. "I made some food if you're hungry so please help yourself."

"Thanks." Jake mumbled as he made his way into the kitchen.

Embry kneeled down in front of me. He kissed me roughly while snaking his arms around my waist. He pulled me so close as if trying to shield me from anything that had happened. I placed my hands on his chest and pushed him away gently. He looked down at me his eyes just searching my face. I could see the pain clearly in his eyes. I knew he needed some confirmation that I loved him. I know he needed to be comforted and remind that things wouldn't just suddenly change between us.

I reached out and rested my palm across his cheek. I felt the knot form again in my stomach. I couldn't say everything that he needed to hear, not with everyone else around. I know he was disappointed to say the least.

"I love you Embry but I don't think I should stay for the bonfire. I'll see you tomorrow or later or something."

He stood up immediately towering over my 5'5" frame. He nodded and brushed his lips against my nose.

"I love you too Ness."

His arms found my waist once more and he pulled me into a tight hug before letting go. His eyes had softened and I could feel the tenderness behind the look.

"Seth's on patrol tonight and he'll meet you on the edge of the woods if you want."

The if you want was added for my benefit. It didn't really me if I wanted Seth to walk me or night, the pack preferred that he did. It was usually how things went. I was very capable of protecting myself and the pack didn't usually enjoy the fact that I voiced it. I respected what they wanted, even if that meant I had to have a babysitter. It was just easier than arguing with everyone. I suppose if I was in Embry's position, I would want him to have a babysitter too. I smiled at my own thoughts as I made my way outside.

"Seth." I called out softly, more for his benefit than anything else. My pace quickened as Seth met me eagerly, this had become our routine. I liked Seth or Embry on patrol the best. Leah still seemed bitter; time had definitely not healed her wounds. Johnny had a horrible temper now, and well he wasn't a good sport about being a babysitter.

I reached out and grazed my fingers over his muzzle. The sandy colored fur was as soft as ever. "Well Seth today was definitely an interesting day." It became a routine for me to confide into him. I usually made out what his grunts meant as if I never really expected a solid answer. I liked it better that way. It left some mystery in our small conversations.

"Well movie morning was fun. Johnny and Marie had a popcorn fight. I think maybe they might like each other. Which is cute; minus the fact he has the worst temper in the world."

Seth nodded away to everything I said eagerly. We walked through the woods, and I watched my own footsteps carefully. I was getting better at avoiding any noisy underbrush. I seemed to inherit the clumsy side from my mother.

"Jacob came."

I let the words roll off my tongue as if we were casually talking about the weather. Seth's head shot up, he knew Jake was coming back but I don't think he expected it to be this soon.

"I was asleep, but Embry wasn't and well it's hard to explain. I'll just show you."

We paused so we were shielded by all the trees. The umbrella shaped tops made the forest seemed even darker than it really was. Seth loved when I showed him what I was thinking, or the things I had seen. He insisted that I should do it even when it wasn't necessary.

I flashed through the evening events and stopped at Embry walking away from Jacob. My temples throbbed as I pulled my hand away. The whole situation was frustrating and it left me spiraling through emotions. Why did Jacob even have to come back in the first place? Life was absolutely fine without him. The dull ache in my heart had nearly disappeared after all these years. Seth's head flickered behind him, and his eyes narrowed. A low growl rumbled from the boy's chest. He stood in front of me protectively as Jacob came into view.

Jake held his hands up to show he wasn't trying to harm either of us. Seth let out another low growl, as if to tell Jake to go back where he came from. I sighed leaning forward, and began to pet Seth's fur. His body became less tense, but he still didn't move.

"Look Seth. I just want to talk to her." Jake said weakly taking a few steps toward us.

Seth growled once more, lowering himself so he could get eyelevel with Jake. He shook his head in a no manor. Seth wouldn't keep secrets from the pack and Embry would be furious if he let it seem like Jake ambushed us and then talked to me after all of that.

"Seth I'm fine, it'll be fine. He can talk to me if he wants to."

"Alone." Jacob said, in an almost commanding tone as if he were still Seths alpha. Seth shook his head once more, that would be crossing a line. He padded over and leaned against the tree right next to me as if giving us some kind of space.

"Whatever you have to say to me you can say in front of Seth. Either way it goes I'd probably just end up telling him anyways."

Jake looked like he hadn't aged one bit. Everything about him was still the same as the day I met him. The only thing that had changed were his eyes. His eyes were different, they had lost his light hearted innocence. Pain seemed permanently etched into the frown lines that were beginning to form around his mouth. He still had full lips, and almond shaped eyes.

Embry. I tried to keep his face front and center in my mind. Whatever happened, I wouldn't let it hurt Embry. It would be the equivalent of hurting myself.

Jakes broad shoulders slumped as if he carried the weight of the world. He was shirtless, as he was in all of my memories. I allowed my eyes to trail down, watching the muscles in his chest flex slightly. He had new cuts and scars that trailed patterns across his once flawless skin. My eyes followed back up to meet his gaze. I blushed and felt the heat creep into my cheeks.

"I'm sorry if I hurt you. I had to leave to protect you."

I studied his eyes, looking for all the answers to my unspoken questions. "Why then Jake?"

"Alice had a vision. The Volturi were going to come back. They had some new found interest in you and your talents. They figured they could use it to their advantage. We couldn't deny that you had them, they'd witnessed it for themselves." Jake began taking a step towards me in an effort to close the gap between us.

"That doesn't make any sense. Why did you leave then?" I asked putting a lot of emphasis on the word you. I hoped the venom seeped into my voice. I wanted him to feel my anger and my pain.

"I was like an offering to them, to keep them away from you. They were satisfied with that. I played guard dog, just like Embry said. They had never observed a wolf this close that they weren't trying to slaughter." he whispered reaching his hand out to touch me.

His warm fingertips touched my cheek, and then grazed my bottom lip and chin. I placed my hand over his and closed my eyes. This is what I had wanted before I even knew what real love felt like. I shivered as all the hidden fantasies I boxed up rampaged through my head.

"Jacob. You promised." I whispered pulling away from his touch.

"I know Nessie. I'm sorry."

"I never wanted you to leave and no one would give me any answers. You never even said goodbye. You just left me like I wasn't worth sticking around for." I could feel my throat closing from the tears I was holding back.

"I wanted to believe me, I did but I didn't want to make things harder. I knew you would ask questions, and I didn't have the answers you wanted at the time."

"You never even wrote or anything. I felt like you didn't care. You missed my whole life Jake."

His hand gripped my shoulder and gave it a squeeze. "I never stopped caring. I love you. I always have and always will."

"What was I supposed to think Jake? It's been eighteen years since anyone's heard from you. I love Embry now."

That was my breaking point. I felt the tears slip down my face much to my own protest.

"I was too little to let you break me but even at such a young age I had adjusted my life to you. You were always there when I needed someone for anything. Then suddenly you were just gone. Sometimes I felt like I had dreamed you. Maybe it's best that you did leave. I like where I am in life now." I reached out for Seth giving his fur a slight tug. He nodded in response, giving Jake another death glare before we both sprinted deeper into the forest.

I frequently raced Seth but this time it was different. I felt the urgency surge through all of my muscles. I bounded off towards Forks, feeling all of my tension cooling inside me. I held my breath as I caught the lead. I could see my house a few miles ahead of us. All I wanted was to curl up in my bed and sleep the night away. I wanted this all to be just one bad dream. The dull ache in my heart was back, and I didn't like the feeling at all. We both skidded to a stop at the edge of the clearing. Seth had to get back to patrolling and we had wasted enough time already.

"If you run into Embry will you tell him to come over?" I asked peering at Seth.

He was panting heavily, his chest bounding up and down as he tried to take in as much air as he could. He nodded at me and turned away, the slight breeze ruffling his fur.

"Thanks Seth." I leaned over and wrapped my arms around him and gave him a light squeeze before bounding off towards my home in smooth strides.