A/N: This has just been an idea I've been toying with (alone with my, like, three other multi fics, but whatever.) I got this idea from Desperate Housewives, if anyone was wondering, but it will end differently. Just the main idea. Blair realizes that Chuck is marrying one of her former minions so she comes back from her exploits in Paris. The first chapter is a little short, but I want to see how this is received first.

Summary:

Serena sighed in frustration. "Look, I've been talking to her. She might not even come."

Eric snorted. "Since when has Blair ever forgotten something after she put her mind to it? She's coming to this engagement party."

Disclaimer: Future fic. Nothing is mine.

You have been cordially invited to the engagement part of...

Charles Bartholomew Bass

to

Penelope Shafai

Chuck knew as soon as his brother was in his room. There was complete silence which, though not unusual for the smallest van der Woodsen, was slightly unsettling. Chuck could smell apprehension in the air. Like sex.

He placed the paper that he was reading during his breakfast down as he gazed at Eric who was still standing there, looking slightly... well, to be frank, frightened.

"Yes...?" Chuck asked.

"Hey, Chuck," Eric said, failing at nonchalance.

"Is there something you need?" Chuck asked, his interest peaked.

"Uh," Eric said, looking around the kitchen. "Did you happen to read the paper today?"

"Yes," Chuck said obviously. Eric looked at the discarded one by the breakfast foods.

"Not that one..." Eric said evasively.

"Look," Chuck said bluntly, "Penelope has been on me for this whole engagement and right now is my only peace and quiet."

"Considering you're not even at your own place," Eric muttered.

"You're family," Chuck said with relish. "So I'm going to read my paper, and eat my breakfast in peace before I go to work and avoid the ball and chain."

"I think technically she'll only be a ball and chain when you're officially married," Eric deadpanned. Chuck smirked and looked back at the headlines.

"I was just wondering," Eric pushed, "if you happen to have read Page Six recently."

Chuck looked up at him suspiciously. "Are you trying to tell me something?"

He was interrupted as Serena came through the door. Chuck just shook his head and got to his feet.

"I'm late anyway," he said. "I don't have time to read gossip tabloids."

"Okay," Eric said simply. Chuck cast him one last look of suspicion before he departed.

"You didn't tell him, did you?" Serena asked as Chuck left.

"I was trying," Eric replied.

"What? Are you insane?" Serena cried.

"Uh, no..." Eric said.

"What do think his reaction would be?"

"Maybe he would do the sane thing and call off this horrible idea of a wedding like everyone knows he should."

Serena sighed in frustration. "Look, I've been talking to her. She might not even come."

Eric snorted. "Since when has Blair ever forgotten something after she put her mind to it? She's coming to this engagement party."

"She's going to destroy everything," Serena exclaimed.

"Maybe she doesn't want to," Eric suggested. "Maybe she just wants to see who Chuck's marrying."

They shared a look that meant exactly that thought was too hopeful.

"Besides," Serena said. "She already knows who he's marrying. It's been in all the papers. Just because she was living in Paris doesn't mean she doesn't know that the minion that was most defiant against her is marrying the one man she never got over."

Chuck ducked into the penthouse quietly, hoping to avoid the confrontation he knew what was coming.

"You're home."

Chuck looked over reluctantly to his fiancé.

"Yeah."

Penelope exhaled. "Where were you?"

"At work."

"It's one in the morning, Chuck," Penelope scolded. "You smell like alcohol."

Chuck's eyes narrowed. "I'm under a lot of stress at the moment."

"Like what?"

"Like what?" Chuck spat. "Not to mention this engagement that I'm bending over backwards for, but its a complete disaster at work. You breathing down my neck like this isn't helping."

"Fine," Penelope said coldly.

Chuck glared back at her. When he was younger, he always thought that when he would be getting married, it would be to a model half his age. No one did better than Bart. Instead, he was in his mid twenties and marrying a wannabe. A wannabe to the one person he couldn't even voice in his own head.

"I'm going to bed," Chuck bit out harshly.

Penelope knew that was not an invitation. She continued reading. When she knew he was down for good, she cast aside the front page of Page Six. According to the headline, her acidic invitation had worked in riling up the former Queen B.

Heiress to Waldorf Fortune Back on the Upper East Side

And where has our favorite elitist gone? Blair Waldorf finally returns to Manhattan after her long hiatus from pursuits elsewhere. Does this have something to do with the upcoming wedding nuptials of apparently reformed CEO of Bass Industries Chuck Bass to fellow socialite Penelope Shafai...