AN: Major spoilers. This is supposed to take place in the last part of the movie, after the major battle, but before the final ceremony.

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Kirk reached the corridor and stopped. Bones was already there, standing still and staring at the closed panel door.

"What's going on?" Kirk asked as he approached the doctor's side.

Bones shook his head, a grim look on his face. Kirk was used to his friend's dour behavior, but he seemed extra worried and concerned today.

"Did Pike say what he wanted with us?"

"No," Bones replied. He put out his hand, gesturing for Kirk to come closer.

"I'm fine, Bones," Kirk sighed as he stepped forward. "You gave me a clean bill of health two days ago."

"That was two days ago," Bones replied as he turned Kirk to face him, peering into his baby blue eyes with clinical detachment that Kirk did not like. Bones was such a professional when it came to caring for him – very no-nonsense and straight forward with all his tests and hyposprays and doctor words.

Kirk kept an eye on Bones' hands, sure any moment a hypospray would materialize and Bones would jab it into his neck.

"You look tired," Bones frowned.

"Of course, I'm tired," Kirk snapped. "We were attacked and I got beat up by Spock and was dumped on an ice planet and had my hand stepped on – ow, Bones, stop it."

Bones dropped Kirk's hand that he had been examining by rotating each finger gently. "After this you're stopping by sickbay so I can help your hands. No excuses."

"I was acting captain," Kirk argued. "I outranked you. You can't tell me what to do."

"I don't care if you are captain of the universe," Bones stated. "When I tell you to come to sickbay, you do it or I'll hunt you down and make you wish you had."

"Oh, please –"

"Gentlemen," Pike's voice cut through their squabbling. They had not noticed that the door had slid open, but their captain was watching them from his wheelchair, staring at them sternly.

"Sir," Kirk straightened up.

Bones wanted to roll his eyes as his friend's sudden change (always showing off in front of authority and acting horrid around everyone else), but he also said, "Sir."

"Come in please," Pike rolled back and allowed them room to come in.

The room was a small conference space with a long table and twelve chairs. A window showed the broad galaxy, earth still a small blue ball in the star-sprinkled vastness of space.

"We land in eight hours," Pike said, pushing the button to slide the door shut. "I would conduct this meeting on earth, but seeing as how we must debrief over the next few days, I decided to deal with both of you here."

"What did we do wrong?" Kirk asked, ignoring Bones' glare to stay still and quiet. "We saved everyone on earth and on the ship and space."

"I am not addressing your heroic behavior," Pike said calmly. "You will be rewarded for that later on earth. I am here to address your indiscretions. Dr. McCoy, you infected your friend so you could get him onboard. By doing so, you risked his health and the safety of everyone onboard as Acting-Captain Kirk could have hurt others in his delirious state."

"Bones didn't mean anything bad," Kirk argued. Bones made a motion for him to shut up, but Kirk insisted, "He was trying to help me."

"He is still responsible for his choices," Pike continued evenly. "We have regulations for a reason, and though you might find them inconvenient, you still have to follow them, doctor."

"Yes, sir," Bones nodded, his face very serious.

"Which brings us to you," Pike shifted his attention.

Kirk bit the inside of his mouth, knowing the lecture that would probably follow. He had heard that tone before from others, and it meant nothing good, and he hated that Pike was going to scold him. Pushing his feet down into the floor, Kirk braced himself for a lecture. He would ride it out and try to imitate Bones' repentant expression, and then they could put the whole thing behind them.

"You tampered with the test," Pike began.

"It was a cheat to begin with," Kirk interrupted, unable to ride it out. "It's unbeatable – is that fair?"

"The test was designed to help you feel the pressures of a real captain," Pike's voice was icy. "You could have seriously damaged the whole system just to make a point and show off. That is not behavior befitting Starfleet, and if I ever see you acting so arrogantly again, you and I will have a very personal discussion about it."

Kirk was standing while Pike sat in his wheelchair, but the older man seemed to tower over him. Kirk felt his face flush and his body grow warm inside his uniform. He looked down at the floor and nodded.

"What was that?" Pike asked.

"Yes, sir," Kirk mumbled.

"Once you got onboard you fought with the then-Acting-Captain and engaged in one reckless pursuit after another, including bullying Mr. Spock and provoking him into fighting you. That was dangerous, Kirk, very dangerous to provoke a Vulcan into a fight."

"I had too," Kirk protested.

"Your behavior on Delta Vega was also unseemly. You were told to stay in your pod until help came, and instead you got out. Then you were chased by not one, but two alien creatures that could have easily killed you."

"How did you find that out?" Kirk asked helplessly.

Bones stared down at the floor.

"Traitor," Kirk glared at him.

"I had to tell him," Bones defended himself. "He's the captain now that you are back. He wanted a full report and I . . . reported."

"It's Spock's fault," Kirk argued. "Why isn't he here, getting chewed out with us?"

"I have already spoken with Spock, and he gave a full account of himself along with his reasons for engaging in a fight with you. He apologized profusely for his behavior, and seeing the circumstances of losing his mother in the destruction of his home planet and enduring your taunts, I sympathized with him and the difficult choices he made with you onboard."

"Man," Kirk scowled, "save the whole freakin' universe and get your ass nailed for it."

"You," Pike pointed a finger at him, "will watch your language and your tone when you address your superior. Do you both understand the charges I have leveled against you?"

"Yes, sir," Bones spoke before Kirk could cause more trouble, "and we apologize for it. We both made poor decisions. It will not happen in the future."

"I have debated how to deal with your indiscretions," Pike went on. "I could bring all of this before a disciplinary board, but considering that you were in trouble before we left," here he looked at Kirk, "I have decided against it. When we land on earth, it will be a time to celebrate life and grieve for those who have passed. I do not want your bad choices to shadow the next few days which is the reason I am dealing with both of you here and now."

"Thank you, sir," Bones said, and Kirk had the presence of mind to echo a "Thank you."

"Were I able to stand," Pike gestured to the wheelchair, "I would carry out your punishments myself. But since I can't, I have another crew member act for me and carry out my verdict."

"What do you mean punishments?" Kirk asked suspiciously.

Pike reached forward to the table and pressed a button on the controls. A side door slid open, and Spock stepped into the room. He was dressed in his usual blue uniform, and he was carrying a thin, long cane in one hand.

It took Kirk all of three seconds to realize what the cane was for. Bones must have figured it out a little quicker because he had let his head drop in defeat by the time Kirk turned to him in horror.

"What? Is that allowed?" Kirk protested as Spock came to stand beside Pike.

"In extreme cases that usually never go beyond the concerned parties," Pike said. "Corporal punishment was a part of naval life several hundred years, and I think it suits our needs here. Since I cannot stand, Mr. Spock will administer both of your punishments."

"Can't be serious!" Kirk sputtered. "He's – he's – and we're – and you can't –"

"I must protest," Bones spoke up softly. "Jim has not fully recovered from his recent activities. I patched him up best I could, but he's going to need longer to heal completely."

Pike set his arms on the armrests of his wheelchair and fixed Bones with a stare. "That is untrue as I heard you tell Mr. Spock last night that Kirk had made a nearly miraculous recovery. Did you not say that?"

Bones shot Spock an evil look, but said nothing further.

"How – how many?" Kirk faltered.

"I originally planned to give you both a full two dozen. But in light of your heroisms, you will get a dozen and the doctor will receive six."

"It's my fault," Kirk insisted. "Bones did everything he did for me. I'll take his punishment."

"Shut up, you idiot," Bones ordered. "Captain, he's not making any sense. I will take his share."

"You're not taking eighteen," Kirk snarled.

"Gentlemen."

Both men fell silent at Pike's tone.

"There will be no more arguing. I prefer to put this matter behind us as quickly as possible."

"Why does he have to be the one that canes us?" Kirk motioned to Spock.

Bones lifted his head up the tiniest bit. He felt mildly unsettled that Kirk was accepting this form of punishment so easily. When Spock walked in with the cane, Bones expected Kirk to raise holy hell over the idea of submitting to corporal punishment. It gave Bones the uneasy feeling that Kirk had taken corporal punishment before and (even worse) it had had a positive effect on him.

"I feel that Spock offers neutrality, and I did assign him as captain when I went to face Nero."

"And he just gets off scot-free?" Kirk did that little thing with his mouth, pulling the edges back to almost a frown.

"I told you that Spock and I had already discussed his actions."

Kirk stole a look at Spock to see if the Vulcan was feeling any pain, but the half-human simply stood there with a calm look on his face, making it impossible to know if he had suffered through a caning as well. Kirk doubted it, and that made him angry. It wasn't fair – caning just the two of them. They should all get caned or none of them. Sneaky Spock, going around and telling things and influencing people with his logic.

"Anymore questions, gentlemen?" Pike asked.

Kirk looked at Bones, praying he would come up with some medical reason why they couldn't get caned. Kirk had endured his fair share of pain in fights, but it had been a while since he had been disciplined. His mother had spanked him a few times as a child, but his stepfather had been a firm believer in the belt as a deterrent to bad behavior. After destroying the man's car and getting the worst licking of his life, Kirk had learned to steal other people's cars and keep his hands off his stepfather's items.

But even though it had been a while, Kirk knew he had not liked corporal punishment, and given the steadfast look in Spock's eye, he guessed he would like it even less after enduring a full dozen from the thin cane.

"Doctor, you're first," Pike instructed. "Please lean over the back of the chair, hands on the armrest, feet apart."

Kirk looked at Bones, petrified, but the doctor said nothing as he stepped into position. The moments Bones bend over the chair, Spock stepped up behind him.

"Don't do it," Kirk whispered, but no one paid him any attention.

"Are you ready?" Pike asked.

"Yes, sir," Bones replied, making sure his voice didn't waver.

"Begin," Pike nodded.

Spock lifted up the cane. Holding it an angle, he took aim. And then he brought down against Bones' rear with a loud thwack.

Bones hissed between his teeth.

"Not so hard, bastard," Kirk said before he could stop himself.

"Control yourself, Kirk," Pike ordered. "You do not want Spock to have to repeat any of the strokes."

Kirk made an agitated motion with his hands, but said nothing.

Seeing Pike's nod, Spock raised the cane against and struck. Bones lurched forward a little and grabbed the chair even tighter. Kirk could see his knuckles turning white.

Spock kept caning, and Kirk got more and more distraught watching his friend suffer under the relentless cane. On stroke four, Bones grunted with pain; stroke five brought a definite whine from the back of his throat; and on stroke six, Kirk yelled,

"Fine, that's it. Let him go."

Though no one was holding Bones down, he took his time standing up. Once he finally did, his face was flushed. His mouth worked to keep the pain down. It killed Kirk to see him like that, but Pike looked solemn and satisfied.

"Have you anything to say, doctor?"

"No, sir," Bones was shaky. "Again I apologize for my rash actions."

"Good. Kirk?"

Kirk swallowed hard and took an uneasy step towards the chair.

"Captain," Bones said in a weak but concerned voice, "please may I request that Jim get the same punishment as me?"

"Request noted and denied," Pike declared. "Over the chair, Kirk. Spock, a full dozen."

Kirk got ready to go over the chair, but he paused to whisper to Spock, "Hey, man, I am sorry about everything I said. About your mother, you know."

"Understood," Spock said.

Kirk saw the way his strong Vulcan finger gripped the cane. Vulcans had the superior strength, and one Vulcan was about to . . .

"Over the chair," Spock repeated. "Obey your captain."

Those childish words of reprimand made Kirk's temper raise its ugly head. "Pointy-eared freak," he muttered as he lowered himself over the chair.

"Are you ready?" Pike asked.

"Yeah," Kirk said between gritted teeth. He planned to take this absurd punishment like a man. He had weather his punishments out before, and he could do it again.

"Begin."

When his mother had punished him, he had cried, but that was just to get her to stop. His tears had nothing to do with the pain or the guilt or that turning feeling inside that always made him feel bad when he acted up. He could certainly handle anything that idiot Vulcan could dish out –

Thwack!

Kirk's eyes opened wide at the pain that streaked across his ass. He let out short cry, hating himself but unable to stop.

"Please, Captain," Bones started, but Pike interrupted,

"Continue Spock."

Another thwack, just as hard and intense.

"No, no, no," Kirk whispered under his breath as he tried to take in the pain. Why was it so much easier to get punched across the face than struck across the rear? Why, oh why did that damned cane have to hurt so much and since when did Spock have an iron arm?

Another stroke and then another.

"Ah, no," Kirk wrestled to control himself. "I can't – please."

"Continue," Pike ordered.

Kirk managed to keep quiet on the fifth and sixth blow, but on seven, he stood straight up and reached back to grab his throbbing ass.

"James Kirk, you will bend back over that chair immediately," Pike cut through the room like ice.

"Okay, okay," Kirk struggled to rein in himself and not say something that would gain him more punishment. "Just – not so damned – hard."

He leaned back over the chair as slowly as he dared, breathing deeply. He felt Spock step behind him, and he knew that evil cane was in mid-air, ready for another –

Thwack!

Kirk dropped his head and tried to think of anything other than how much his poor bottom ached and throbbed under the sharp bite. But that was stroke eight – only four more.

He tried to tighten his grip around the armrests.

Another stroke came, but before he could deal with it, another came and then two more. Kirk stood frozen for a second, trying to come to grips with the end of his caning. More than anything, he wanted to lift his head and howl out his pain. He felt tears crowding his eyes, and he wanted to tear Spock into pieces and push Pike and his wheelchair down the steepest flight of stairs he could find.

He settled for giving a short, choking sob as he kept over the chair, heaving in air as the fire blazed across his ass.

"Kirk, stand up," Pike ordered, his voice half a note softer than before.

Kirk was not sure he could stand, but he did, running a sweaty hand over his sweaty face.

"Doctor, Acting-Captain, front and center," Pike ordered.

Kirk took three painful steps to stand beside Bone and face their captain. Bones put out a hand to help steady his friend, but Kirk shook his head, determined to man out the rest of the ordeal. Spock stood by, his face blank as usual. Kirk could not decide if he enjoyed meting out the strokes or hated doing it or a little of both.

"What do you have to say?" Pike asked the two men standing before him.

"Nothing, sir," Bones said. "Thank you, sir."

"Sir," Kirk managed to get out.

"You both have served your punishments, and we will never speak of this again," Pike announced. "Doctor, you have permission to treat yourself and Kirk however you choose. I need both of you to be available and prepared in five hours when we ready for landing. Dismissed."

"Sir," they both nodded their understanding and turned to the door.

"I'm fine," Kirk protested as Bones reached over to hold his arm.

"Don't be a fool," Bones reproved as they stepped into the hallway. "I'm dying here, and you got twice the number I got."

"Blasted Vulcan strength," Kirk winced with every step. "Why couldn't Pike have chosen someone else – like Chekov?"

"You want the kid to whup your ass?" Bones looked at him askance. "Kind of humiliating for that baby to do something like that to his future captain."

"I hate this place," Kirk grumbled. "Jeez, that was unbearable. Sadistic Vulcan."

"Actually," Spock suddenly materialized beside them, sans cane, "I chose the thinnest cane I could find onboard, and I was careful to put no more than 40% of my strength into each stroke."

"Get bent," Kirk snarled at him.

Bones said nothing as he helped his friend along.

"You enjoyed doing that," Kirk huffed as they made their way down the corridors. "You like inflicting pain. Other wise you wouldn't have done it."

"By using that model of argument, I would likewise concur that you enjoy punishment and pain because you frequently bring it upon yourself," Spock returned.

Kirk pulled to a stop, drawing himself up to his full height to prove the Vulcan wrong.

"Stop antagonizing him," Bones said, "and help me."

Kirk turned to Bones to ask what he meant, and then Spock stepped forward and put an arm around Kirk's torso, supporting him as Bones did the same on the other side.

"What the hell?" Kirk complained. "You're not going to carry me like this."

"I could always put you over my shoulder," Spock suggested. "You aren't that heavy."

Kirk dealt him a death glare.

Two minutes later, they stopped in front of Kirk's room, and Kirk started another round of complaining. "Why are we here? I thought we were going to sickbay. I don't need anything here."

"You're going to rest for the next few hours," Bones announced at the door slid open. "Come on, Jim, don't fight me."

"I'm not tired," Kirk tried to pull back, but he couldn't get away from the two men without starting a real fight, and he just didn't have the energy, not with his ass so sore and tender.

"I know you're not," Bones played along as they dragged him to the narrow bunk. "But I want you to lie down for just one second while I check something."

"You are not getting a look at my ass," Kirk eased forward on the bed and grabbed the pillow to bunch under his head. "You can just get in line with all the hot girls that want – no!"

Too late he felt the hard tip of the hypospray against his neck, and then there was sharp pain against sensitive skin that was meant to be kissed and nipped by a girl's soft mouth and not abused by a grouchy doctor's instruments. Kirk sighed in defeat and slumped into his pillow as his eyes slid shut.

"Finally," Bones pocketed the hypospray he had hidden in his pocket an hour before. "He should sleep for the next three hours."

"I still do not understand," Spock admitted as they stepped into the hallway. "You knew that Captain Pike would have let you go with only a stern verbal warning. Why did you insist to Pike that I cane you as well as Kirk?"

"Because if just Jim got punished, I'd never hear the end of it," Bones pushed the button in the wall and the door slid shut, sealing the sleeping form of Kirk into his room. "It would be all moping and resentful looks for the next week. This way, he thinks we're in it together. You should have hit me harder. I was pushing the acting as it was with all those fake noises."

"I refused to use more than 25% of my strength," Spock objected. "You deserved that much for sneaking him onboard, but nothing more. And now that you are to be CMO, we need you more than ever."

"You do realize they're going to give Jim the captaincy of this ship," Bones gave Spock a careful look. "I'll stay on as the CMO and you'll be assigned First Officer."

"Indeed, that is why I insisted that I participate in this punishment," Spock clasped his hands behind his back. "Kirk may become captain, but he needs to understand that his crew will not let him make rash decisions. The reminder of today will serve us all well in the coming weeks."

"You think we can save Jim from killing himself on his crazy adventures?" Bones asked, half-kidding.

"We will try," Spock frowned. "And I certainly will stress the consequences of his poor decisions should he behave likewise in the future."

"I think you and I will get along just fine," Bones decided as they headed for the mess hall, step in step.