In the thick of rush hour, Mrs. Tucker and her oldest child barreled down the highway leading from Denver. The morning had been spent waiting in a pediatrics room decorated with various decals of Pooh and Tigger, waiting to find out whether or not Craig needed a certain injection (he now sported the Peanuts band aid as evidence.) They had both run out of conversation material on the ride over, so Craig was mildly surprised when his mom chose to speak up.

"I'm gonna stop for some coffee. You want some coffee, hon?"

People had told Craig it was hilarious to hear his mom and him hold a conversation. People were often bruised. "Kay." He contributed nasally.

At the next exit, she swung the well-kempt, yet ancient vehicle into the line of traffic. The McDonalds was pretty close to the joint of the highway; she pulled into the drive-through, up to the voice box, and ordered two medium coffees.

Craig picked at a scab on the back of his wrist as the car worked its way up to the window, where a few bills were exchanged for two brown paper cups, one of which was directly passed over the gearshift and into Craig's hands.

The moment the smell of coffee flooded the car—the bitter, metallic, familiar smell—something…happened.

Oh, hello, boner, didn't expect to see you here.

The scent was like fluid memory drowning every permeable fold of his brain—he'd been trained for this! Coffee smell meant boners, whether that be, y'know, appropriate, or shoulder-to-shoulder with his mom.

"Craig, are you okay?" She asked as they wheeled around the building and back onto the street. "You're all red."

Craig had yet in his life wished to be less well-endowed; however, when his mom's eyes grazed, then stuck, to the swell of his crotch pushing against the denim of his jeans, he wished he was a eunuch.

They spent the rest of the drive home staring wide-eyed out the window, both bright red, neither very interested in drinking their coffee.

AN: Haha I wrote this like a year ago, didn't submit it cuz it's so short and useless, but fuck it it's AWESOME.