Disclaimer: I do not own the Harry Potter series, nor any of the characters from the books or movies. I do not make any money from the writing of this story.

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'The sun was shining and the birds were singing, and' oh drat no, it's too bloody airy fairy… Hmmm… 'On a bright summer's day'…err no. 'On a dark, cold night in December…' hmmm, possibly, but not quite. Oh for fuck's sake, I just want to get to the sex, but no you have to have a plot, even for porn. Even for porn for sixteen year old horny, pathetic, frustrated beyond belief witches. The girls read 'The Professor' and almost tore me apart trying to copy it again and again. Only now McGonagall's confiscated them and the girls are in uprising and the boys don't know what they've done wrong to deserve all the malevolent glares and oh for the love of Merlin and his huge hairy balls, I just want to write some porn!

Hermione was pissed off. Thankfully she was in the Library all pissed off because if Harry or Ron had been anywhere nearby they would have simultaneously had their balls hexed off and been pushed against a wall and snogged thoroughly. Though, in actual fact the idea of snogging either boy was enough to make Hermione lose any pent up desire she had at all.

There was no inspiration to be had in the hallowed Halls of Hogwarts. It was empty of men, of valour, of heroes (other than Harry, who was a tiny bit taller than Hermione, just as skinny and still had uncontrollable hair and emotions), and generally of anything that would make a girl of any age quiver at the knees or part them hurriedly. So many scenarios ran thorough her head each one more unlikely than the next - a covert scene where a girl enters the boy's dorms, a quick one or a long, slow, languid one in the prefects bathrooms, the Room of Requirement, a quiet corridor, the Dungeons, the Lake, Hagrid's currently deserted cottage, the Forbidden Forest, the Greenhouses, the Quidditch Pitch, the changing rooms, the Hog's Head or the Three Broomsticks, any of the classrooms, the Library, the Restricted Section…. Hey now, that is an idea… whoever goes into the Restricted Section is either a Prefect, a Professor, has permission or is sneaking in… a student in need of something extra that the Library doesn't provide and someone in authority…

So, in the dark corridors between the Great Hall and her House dorms, Felicity passed the Library only to see a light still on and flickering in the Restricted Section. Tapping her Head Girl badge to fortify her nerves, she opened the doors and quietly stepped in. Immediately the moans of a woman could be heard, Silencing Charm, Felice thought, wondering who had decided that this musty part of the Library was the perfect place to have a rendezvous. Crossing the barrier to the section, a dark figure was visible at the back wall, and the sound of a woman being pleasured echoed in the quiet hall. Though she had come across students rutting against each other plenty of times in deserted corners of the castle, the pile of clothing by the door indicated that a serious session was in place - one that had not been made in a hurry but planned out. She tried to blank out the sparks of desire that the noises brought, but she squeezed her thighs unsurprised to find herself soaking wet, and she knew her nipples were rock hard and pressing against the lace of her bra, easily visible. She licked her lips, brushed a hand against her badge, and her breasts, and cleared her throat loudly.

The couple stopped moving, and their frantic whispers echoed around her.

'Could you please clothe yourselves and leave, I am Head Girl, and currently on patrol, could you please leave and go to your dorms. That will be thirty points taken from your houses each, I will leave you to get dressed.'

She stood standing at the doorway to the Library for five minutes and then the not fully clothed girl ran passed her, hiding her face in obvious embarrassment. Felicity didn't worry about not knowing who the student was, Hogwarts was sentient enough to remove points without needing to know more. Another five minutes passed and there was still no sign of the man. Striding to the section again, she called out, 'Could you please leave the Library, you know that it's out of bounds at this time of night!'

Suddenly a dark shadow came up in front of her and as she craned her neck to see who had come so close, she realised that it was a Professor… her Head of House actually, who was currently nearly pressed up against her, looking down his nose at her, who had just been having sex with a student! Her eyes widened and she took a step back in fear, stammering apologies. 'I'm so sorry sir, I was just, I mean that I didn't mean to disturb you obviously, erm the points don't apply to you… I'm sorry… I'll just leave now…' Felicity was at the door before she felt torn between running away and beginning reading the riot act to her professor who obviously should know better!

Hermione put her quill down and stretched. As much as she wanted to get to the part where the Professor pushed Felicity over a desk and fucked her hard, and then the part where the Head Boy or female Prefect got involved, or even the part of the night after, where she was serving detention… Hermione wriggled in her seat, acknowledging the fact that she was desperately horny, really needed the loo, and was totally and utterly soaked. Closing her eyes for a moment, she parted her legs under the desk and rocked her hips against the hard wood of the chair. She tried to hold in her moan, and her panting, but she was slowly becoming delirious with need.

As a shadow passed over her shoulder she became aware of a figure standing behind her, watching her every move. With a squeak she sat up straight, trying her hide her writing, her scribbles and notes. It was no use; long fingers neatly picked up the longest piece of parchment, and held it out of her reach. Hermione's face bloomed with a blush to rival any Weasley and her heart pounding fast she turned around in her seat to confirm who her newest critic was.

Her heart plummeted as the dark hair and large nose of Snape were revealed - obviously he had been watching her for some time, probably trying to determine why she was indoors on such a glorious day - but the idea of writing porn in the sunshine, surrounded by excited first years was anathema and she shuddered at the thought of being caught by a curious child.

Trying quickly to think back as to how bad the page was she realised that the ramblings of her horny self were at the top, as well as the fact that she had written the story that was number one on the banned literature list this year. Shit.

'Such language from the paragon of virtue Miss Granger, who would have ever imagined that the Know It All would have words like 'huge hairy balls', and 'fuck' as part of her day to day vocabulary. It does surprise me to find you here without one of your less than worthy partners in crime, especially considering the content of this material; I'm sure that they could curb your frustration…' He leaned over her shoulder, whispering into her ear.

'Or maybe you have realised that the mere fumbling of a boy is not enough to sate a woman who needs release'. Hermione closed her eyes and tried to remember to breathe. His voice rumbled through her, sending shivers through her spine, and she tried to not look up at him with eyes clouded in lust. She could easily have named her 'professor' in the story as Snape, with his dark domineering ways, his subtle deep voice and long slender talented fingers… Squeezing her thighs tight, to control the ooze she felt certain was leaving a damp patch on her chair, Hermione twisted in her seat to face him.

'Professor I assure you that my vocabulary extends further than just balls and fuck. Even beyond seduction and enticement, or bewitching the mind and ensnaring the senses… Fucking is such a simple, crude term after all, why not use screwing, or shagging, perhaps fornication, hmmm? After all sex is intercourse, but that could include fellatio, cunnilingus, and so many other pleasurable pastimes. I've yet to deflower one of my characters, but I can't wait…'

Hermione had stood up whilst talking to the Professor, collected all her bits and pieces and plucked the parchment from his fingers while slowly driving the man insane with her talk. If she chose to look carefully she could see the arousal in his eyes, and tenting his robes, and she purred with the pleasure of driving this man wild. However as she turned to escape his clutches, his hands grabbed her shoulders, twisted her around and pushed her back against the chair she had been on all afternoon. He was pressing his length against her and she felt his arousal hard against her stomach, and she nearly passed out from the waves of desire coursing through her. She was panting, and so was he, and they were both fully clothed. Just imagine being naked with him against me, Merlin's balls be damned, I think I just found my inspiration!

Wishing that she could stroke his cock till he was putty in her hands, she pushed against him and ran out of the Library, with Miss Pince scolding her for being noisy in her exit. Storming over to where the girl had been sitting, Pince found Snape looking flushed and shocked - and deciding to prod him further, later, she left him standing there holding onto the chair as if his life depended on it.