A Dramatic Speech Too Far
I've been away from fanfiction for a while, so I thought I'd make my return with a one-shot in the greatest anime ever: Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann, which I do not own, just use for my own enjoyment.
Kamina delivers yet another of his great speeches, but something goes horribly wrong. WARNING: The following fic will challenge everything you know about anime, dramatic speeches, and the universe itself. If you can't handle that, please leave now.
It was just another Tuesday afternoon. Ganmen had attacked our heroes as they were travelling, looking for the source of the Beastmen armies. Combination had been achieved. Gurren Lagann had been formed. Gurren Lagann had been badly damaged. Someone had made the mistake of telling Kamina to give up. And Kamina had taken the opportunity to make a speech.
"Give up… GIVE UP!?! WHO THE HELL DO YOU THINK I AM!?!"
Yoko and Ron smiled as their hero launched into another tirade about his greatness. "You tell them sweetie!" the "man" of undeterminable gender shouted.
"HAVING LEFT HIS HOME UNDERGROUND, HE TRAVELS THE PATH OF A MAN, BATTLING FOR HIS VERY SOUL!!!"
"Right on!"
"THE PATH HE WALKS DOWN IS THAT PATH HE CHOOSES FOR HIMSELF!!!"
"Awesome!"
"A PARAGON OF MANLINESS! HIS ONLY LIMITATION IS HOW FAR HE FEELS LIKE GOING!!!"
"Okay…"
"WHEN THERE'S A WALL IN HIS WAY, HE KNOCKS IT DOWN! WHEN PEOPLE TELL HIM TO GIVE UP, HE TELLS THEM TO PISS OFF!!!"
"That's enough Kamina…"
"SIMON'S DRILL IS THE DRILL THAT WILL BURST THROUGH THE HEAVENS, AND MY SWORD IS THE SWORD THAT WILL CARVE A NEW TOMMOROW!!!'
"Bro! Stop please!"
"THE NAME OF THE GURREN BRIGADE IS KNOWN FAR AND WIDE, AND IF YOU SHOULD BE GRACED TO HEAR OF ITS BAD-ASS, SEXY LEADER, KNOW THAT THAT MEANS ME!!!
At this, the ground began rumbling and shaking. Holes began tearing in the sky above.
"What's going on!?!" Yoko shouted
"Kamina is releasing such fighting spirit that he's altering the fabric of reality!" Ron explained.
"IF YOU THINK YOU CAN MESS WITH ME AND GET AWAY WITH IT, YOU'VE GOT ANOTHER DAMN THING COMING FUZZ-BALL!!!"
"This isn't funny bro! Stop it!"
The holes in the sky began growing. Cracks began ripping open the Earth itself. The Beastmen and their Ganmen exploded, leaving nothing but smoke behind. Soon Simon, Yoko, and Ron had exploded too. Kamina noticed nothing, as his eyes were shut and all he could hear was the sound of his own voice.
"THAT'S THE POWER OF THE MIGHTY KAMINA!!! THAT'S THE POWER OF GURREN LAGANN!!!"
When Kamina opened his eyes, all he could see was a great bright light. Gurren Lagann had disappeared, along with everything else, and he was just floating in a sea of emptiness.
"What happened?" he asked in confusion.
"YOU BROKE THE FABRIC OF SPACE AND TIME YOU JACKASS!!!" Yoko shouted as she smacked him upside the head.
"Can you fix it Ron?" Simon asked.
"I don't even know how he broke it!" Ron replied.
"So what do we do now?" Yoko asked.
"I guess we just… float here…" Kamina suggested.
"Well, how do we pass the time?" Ron asked.
Kamina furrowed his brow in concentration. Suddenly, he opened his eyes in realization. Everyone looked at him expectedly.
"Marco!" he shouted.
Ron and Yoko smacked their heads, but Simon just smiled and said "Polo!"
"Marco!"
"Polo!
"Marco!"
"Polo!"
"Marco!"
"Polo!"
The End
Well… Let me know what you think…
…
…
Marco!