Title: Praying To Be Saved

Based On: Death Note

Be warned, there will be spoilers for anyone that hasn't read well, pretty much all of Death Note. Yeah, that about covers it. If you don't want spoilers, leave now. Otherwise, continue only at your own risk.

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Author's Note: Hello! Here's the start of my first ever fanfiction with chapters. The only other story I've ever published was a one-shot about Sirius Black. This time, I'm trying to do something with chapters. Right now, I don't know how long this will end up being. I've got three chapters already written, so it should be at least four chapters, since what I've got isn't finished up really. Please review! If you have criticism, that's fine. I want to be a better writer, so any suggestions are welcome. Also, please review even if you don't say much. It'll help motivate me to write more! ^_^

So, this story is going to be based on Matt and Mello, starting with a flashback to when Mello left Whammy's House. Right now, this isn't actually intended to turn into a shonen-ai/yaoi story, but as I go, I might change my mind. I'll take suggestions about this as well!

Lastly, I suppose I should have a disclaimer of some sort. I do NOT own Death Note, Matt, Mello, or anything cool for that matter. If I owned Death Note, L and all the Whammy's House kids would have lived. Yeah...

All that being said, I hope you enjoy the story. ^_^

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"Let me come."

"No."

"Please!"

"No."

"I promise not to be any trouble."

"I said no."

I remember the night that I left so vividly, it's like it happened yesterday. The night I found out that my, no, our mentor had died; the night I decided to leave.

I remember how he begged and pleaded to come with me. It pained him that I was leaving. He'd been my only friend at the orphanage and it killed me to hurt him like that. Still, it was my only choice.

My life was going to be uncertain for a while; too unpredictable to take him with me. However, I couldn't tell him how dangerous it would be or he'd have stopped me. I don't know how, considering how hard it is to stop me when I'm being stubborn, but he would've found a way. He could do that when he was determined enough. My only choice was to hurt him, break him if I had to, just so long as it would keep him from wanting to follow.

He continued on as I packed, refusing to take no for an answer. I finally just quit speaking altogether, since it wasn't doing any good, and concentrated on fitting as much as I could into my bag.

When I'd finished packing, I picked my bag up and headed for our door. Before I'd even touched the handle, he grabbed my arm to stop me from going. He spoke softly and I knew he was scared. He wasn't even trying to hide it, which was unusual for him.

"Mello, please…Don't leave me."

I honestly thought I was going to die right there; it might have been easier if I had. His eyes were on the verge of tears as he begged me to stay. I watched as one tear fell, working its way down his face. It nearly killed me, what I felt I had to do next.

I dropped my bag on the floor and grabbed his arm, pulling his hand off of me. As roughly as I could, I shoved him away and he fell to the floor. I really did think I'd broken him of any desire to follow me, so I turned away and started to pick up my bag.

"Mel…don't."

His voice was small and tearful as he spoke. I knew I needed to just go, but like the idiot I am, I turned to look at him again.

Tears were falling freely from his eyes and he made no attempt to stop them. I'd never seen him hurt like that, and I'd seen him in pretty bad condition before. The worst part was knowing it was all my fault, that I was the one who made him cry. Usually, I was the one protecting him by beating up anyone who upset him. If he didn't have me to protect him, who did he have? Still, this was all for the best. He'd be better off here than he would if he came.

"No Matt. It's not just that you can't come."

I stopped for a moment; struggling to maintain control of myself. I tried to picture that albino freak, Near, thinking it would be easier to yell at him, but, no matter how hard I tried, all I could see was my best friend, who would never understand why I was saying this.

"I hate you. I don't want to be stuck taking care of you. You're weak, always following me around like a dog or something. It's not my problem that you're incapable of protecting yourself. You shouldn't rely on people so much. It's not fair to anyone, especially me. I have to get away from you. I don't want to live out my life as your goddamned bodyguard!"

I watched as my words sunk in, breaking him completely. I was breaking too, though not in the same way. He tried to talk, but I guess I'd taken that ability away from him as well.

I left the room as fast as I could, knowing that the longer I stayed, the harder it would be to leave. As soon as I was out of the building, I ran. All I could do was put as much distance between us as was physically possible. The only thing I wanted was to go back to him, to ask him to forgive me for what I said and did; to tell him how much he meant to me and how I never, ever wanted to hurt him. At the same time, that was impossible. Even if I could force myself to turn around, there was no way I'd be able to look at him after what I did. No explanation would be capable of relieving me of the guilt.

I ran harder, pushing thoughts and images of him out of my mind. My lungs were burning, both from the effort behind not crying and from running faster than I ever had in my life. He would never have to see me again. I would never have to face him for what I said…