For Better or For Worse

Hawkeye would have known Mildred Potter anywhere. He'd seen her picture every day for two years, sitting in a place of honor on Col. Potter's desk. Now here she was in the flesh, sitting on one of those uncomfortable plastic chairs and reading something (but probably not really reading it). She didn't hear him approach, so he said, softly, "Mrs. Potter?"

She looked up from her magazine and it took her a moment to realize who he was, but finally she smiled at him. "You're Hawkeye, aren't you?"

He held out his hand and she shook it. "Yes, ma'am. It's nice to finally meet you."

She stood then, putting her magazine aside. "Please, call me Mildred. I can't believe you came all this way. You didn't have to do that—he's going to be fine. Just fine."

Hawkeye waved a hand dismissively. "One of the perks of working with my father: I take time off whenever I want to. In fact, he insisted I come down here when I told him what had happened."

Mildred took Hawkeye by the elbow and steered him in the direction of Sherman's hospital room. "It was a scare, but he's doing fine now. Recovering quickly. He's as ornery as ever. And antsy to get out of here."

Hawkeye laughed. "That sounds like him, all right."

"He was sleeping a little while ago… which is why I was out here reading. But let's go check on him, maybe he's awake now."

She stepped into the room with Hawkeye on her heels. There were so many bouquets of flowers around the bed that Hawkeye didn't even see Sherman at first. But as he stepped closer, he saw the man, his former C.O., looking old and frail and pale… still asleep in the hospital bed.

"Ah, well," Mildred whispered. "He does love his sleep."

"Mild heart attack, they said?" Hawkeye asked. This was what he'd been told by B.J., who had called him the day before.

Mildred nodded. "Yes, just a mild one. He'll be fine." She kept saying that, as if trying to convince herself.

"I'm glad to hear that." Hawkeye couldn't help feeling a little shocked, though, at how much older his C.O. looked. True, it'd been five years since Korea, and five years since they'd seen each other, but somehow he'd never considered the idea of Sherman Potter getting older.

That tough old bird? Hell on wheels? It seemed incongruous to see him weak like this.

"Be back on his feet in no time," Mildred was saying. "And driving me crazy again. Not that he hasn't been doing that from this very hospital bed, mind you."

Hawkeye laughed softly. This, he could already tell, was a wonderful woman. Exactly the kind of woman he'd always pictured when Potter talked about her.

"He's been enjoying his retirement?" Hawkeye asked, surreptitiously checking over Potter's chart, noting that his vitals had been normal now for the past 24 hours.

"We've been having the best time since he retired," she said, glowing. "Just the best time. Practically got to court all over again… it'd been so long since we'd lived together, it all felt so new. Did a lot of puttering around the house, a lot of entertaining, even some traveling."

"Sounds like everything he was dreaming of during Korea."

From the bed, a low, raspy voice piped up, "Well I'll be damned. I thought I heard Hawkeye Pierce's voice. Thought it must be some crazy dream."

Potter was blinking at him, and Hawkeye beamed back. "Crazy dreams are the only ones I show up in," he said, teasing, but his eyes were filling with tears.

"Damn, son, it's good to see you. Why don't you come over here and give your old colonel a hug? Just watch these tubes that're goin' in and out of my body here."

Hawkeye moved to the bed and embraced Potter gently, then gave him a kiss on the cheek. "It's great to see you, too, Colonel."

"That would be Sherman now, Pierce."

Hawkeye shook his head. "You'll always be Colonel to me."

"No need for you to disrupt your life and come all the way down here, Hawkeye. Just a little heart attack… hardly worth writing home about. Couple days in the hospital… they want to keep an eye on me for a bit, because of the blood pressure, you know. But I expect to be good as new. You know me—it'd take much more than this to keep me down."

Hawkeye shrugged, "Well, I needed a little time off anyway. And I've always wanted to see Hannibal, Missouri."

Potter laughed, then launched into a coughing fit, then laughed again. "Mule fritters," he said when he could speak again, and that got Hawkeye laughing. "But since you're here, and as long as you want to stay, Mrs. Potter will be delighted to make up the guest room for you. Won't you, dear?"

"Of course, of course," she said, nodding. "After all, you're family, Hawkeye."

Hawkeye stood in the guest room later that night, almost entranced by all the pictures on display… on the walls, on the bureaus, on the nightstand. It actually didn't matter, Hawkeye had noticed, what room of the house you were in… they were all adorned with family photos.

The ones he was staring at now were of the grandkids. He recognized Corey right off the bat. His eyes traveling over the photographs, he smiled as if these folks were his own relatives. He was so intent on the images that he didn't even hear Mrs. Potter come up behind him.

"Those are the grandchildren," she said softly, and he turned to face her, a little startled.

"Oh I know," he said, his smile growing. "We heard all about them back at the 4077th. Their achievements, their mishaps, their everyday antics." He laughed.

Mildred laughed along with him. "I don't doubt it."

Now Hawkeye was looking at the Potters' wedding picture on the wall. Mildred looked so young and so happy; Sherman dignified and dashing in his tuxedo. They must've been in their mid-20s, Hawkeye estimated. Their whole lives ahead of them.

"Hard to believe," Mildred said with a smile in her voice, "that we were ever that young, huh?"

Hawkeye faced her. "The two of you ended up spending so many years apart."

She nodded. "More than I would have imagined, back then. Yes."

He studied her face for any signs of sadness or regret or even anger. He saw none. "I don't think I can even begin to understand why…" He realized he sounded like he was judging them and their life choices, and he stopped, not wanting to offend.

But she understood what he was saying. Looking at the wedding photo and not at Hawkeye, she said, "The Army was already Sherman's life by the time I met him. He'd joined up very young. I had misgivings about getting involved with a man whose career was the service… trust me, I did. But I fell in love anyway." She still wasn't looking at Hawkeye, but he was watching her face as she spoke. The warmth in her smile touched her eyes. "I know you're not married, Hawkeye. But when you're standing in front of your family and friends and in the presence of God and you say the words 'I do,' it doesn't mean 'I do as long as it's convenient for me.' It means 'I do, no matter what.' And when I said that, I meant it. No matter how often Sherman and I were apart, no matter how long his tours of duty were… I vowed to be his wife, to love him and stand by him even if he was half a world away." She did look at Hawkeye now, and tilted her head. "It wasn't easy, we had our tough times. But I wouldn't have traded my life for anyone's. No regrets. He's the best man I've ever known."

Hawkeye hadn't even realized that tears had formed in his eyes. "Finest kind," he said with a nod. "I'm so happy for the both of you."

She put a hand on his arm. "You'll find a love like that someday," she said, sounding certain. "And you'll understand how easy it is to sacrifice things for that person, the one you love with all your heart. When it's true love, Hawkeye, you don't even stop to ask yourself if you can give up this or that… you just do it."

Hawkeye wondered, and not for the first time, if he really was ever going to find that person. If he was ever going to know that kind of commitment, that kind of love.

Mildred smiled and turned to leave the room. "Well, please make yourself at home, Hawkeye. Let me know if you need anything. I'm delighted you came all this way to see Sherman. He was very touched, I could tell."

"I'm glad I came, too," Hawkeye assured her. "Thank you, Mildred. I appreciate the hospitality."

"You're always welcome here, Hawkeye. Goodnight," she said on her way out the door.

Hawkeye turned down the covers on the bed, but didn't get in. Instead he moved back to the wedding photo on the wall to take another look at it.

The Potters, starting their new life as a couple… young, full of joy, full of life. They would spend many years apart from each other, but their love had the strength to outlast all the separations they endured.

"I would wish you two every blessing on this earth," Hawkeye whispered to the picture, absently touching it, "but you've already got the ones that matter."

Then he turned out the light and crawled into bed.