AN: This is my first fan fiction ever! I hope you enjoy it as much as I enjoyed writing it!
HUGE props to my wonderful beta BellaMadonna, she truly worked miracles on my rough draft. You are a beta marvel!
Special thanks to Just_write and JMCullen for their encouraging words, thank you ladies!
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A gold star lesbian is a lesbian who has never slept with a man and has no intention of ever sleeping with a man.
BPOV
That's me, Bella Swan, a gold star lesbian. At the ripe age of 25 I am by hetero standards still a virgin. Don't get me wrong, I've had tons of sex in my life, just no sex that has involved an honest-to-god, flesh-and-blood penis.
I don't know when I realized I was a lesbian. I'd like to think the realization came when I met Alice. She came into my life like a whirlwind. At 18 years old, I had never given much thought to dating. I mean, I had crushes here and there. I had a crush on my best friend, Edward, once. But nothing ever happened and we eventually were just tight as any best friends could be, I'm pretty sure my 'crush' was just friend feelings that I misunderstood.
When I saw Alice for the first time, in my college pottery class, I was taken aback at how my heart jumped at just the sight of her. Her little hands held so much talent when it came to the clay. She made whimsical pieces depicting goddesses of the earth, water, fire, etc. They looked so lifelike. I felt myself sitting closer to her during each class. It took almost 2 weeks to get up the nerve to sit right next to her and talk to her. From that moment on, we were inseparable, and the rest I could say is history.
Seven years later we live in a small house in the artsy part of town. The part of town where people ride bicycles and grow their own vegetables, not as a hobby but as a lifestyle. We converted the garage into a pottery studio for Alice. She has become rather well known for her hand built sculptures, it amazes me the pieces she creates.
"Hey, baby!" she called to me as I walked into her studio shortly after getting home from work.
As I walked over to her, I couldn't help but just not care about the clay on her hands that would most likely get on my clothing, and I pulled her close to me. "Mmm, I missed you today" I really had missed her.
"Aww baby, I missed you too," she leaned in for a kiss. "Give me some love."
Her kisses always felt so right. Her soft lips, the smell of her skin, the taste of her. I was like putty in her hands.
I kissed her luscious lips tenderly while gently caressing her cheek, and considered deepening the kiss. However, Alice wrapped her arms around my neck and pulled her lips away to look at me.
"So how was your day?" she asked.
"My day was long. I'm just glad it's over." I wished to myself I had her talent with art so I could play with clay all day. Problem was I didn't. And when I did make something I liked, somehow I would break off a major part of it and have to start all over again. I continued to vent about work. "Mike drove me crazy with talk of his date with Jessica. And Angela drove me crazy as well with all her wedding talk." I shook my head in disgust. "I swear I will be so happy when she has her fucking wedding and she can use her brain to work rather than plan a wedding."
"Well, babe, she's just excited." Alice was way too nice; I wished sometimes she would talk shit with me! "You can't tell me that if we were actually allowed to be married, you wouldn't talk about it all the time?"
"Ok fine, you're right." I conceded. "Why don't you clean yourself up and I'll start dinner."
Giving me a flirtatious smile, she nodded. "I think tonight would be the perfect night to ask you know who, you know what." She said, slapping me on my ass as she headed in the house.
Though we were a couple, we were missing a key element to complete us. We had a house together, shared a bed, and played married as any man and woman. The only thing missing was the pitter patter of little feet. We both knew we wanted to have children together, and we both knew it would take a bit more planning that the average couple. Alice and I had been planning for months to start a family. We had already decided I would carry the first child, as she needed mobility for now during her art shows and such. We had also decided she would carry the next child, using the same donor if at all possible. The one problem, we didn't have a donor.
This is where Edward comes in. Alice felt he was perfect to make a baby with, and she was right: He was smart, handsome, and had a body that put straight women on their backs in two seconds flat. Not to mention he would have no qualms with signing over all parental rights to us, of that I had no worries. But what could be holding me back from asking him? I assured myself I was only scared of rejection.
"Alice, I think I should ask him on my own. He might be easier to handle if it's just one of us." I bit my lip slightly. "If both of us were to ask he might feel a bit ganged up on." I spoke to the bathroom door, knowing she was inside freshening up.
"Ok babe, whatever you think. Just ask soon, ok?" She said. I could hear the insistence in her voice.
"Tomorrow. I promise." I replied. I kicked off my shoes and socks, and headed into the kitchen to prep for dinner. As I rummaged through the fridge for ingredients to my famous apricot glazed chicken, I heard a knock on the door.
"I'll get it!" I called to Alice.
A smile and bronze hair greeted me on the other side of the door. My best friend Edward. I may be gay, but I am no putz who doesn't realize how handsome this guy is. Too handsome to be single, in fact. But that's how he rolls. Single, no strings, and content hanging out with two lesbians who love the shit out of him. Hmmm, yes, I thought, I can only hope those green eyes are a dominant gene.
"Hey you!" I exclaimed, honestly happy to see the man. Its so nice having a man as a best friend. I have tried being close friends with women but somehow we always ended up having threesomes with them and down the toilet went any chance at real friendship.
He enveloped me in a hug and patted me on the back. "So, what's for dinner?" he said, releasing me quickly and heading for the living room.
I gave his retreating back a smirk before answering. "Apricot glazed chicken on a bed of brown rice, served with a huge glass of wine."
"Wine eh?" he turned and gave me a smirk of his own. "You're such a lightweight, Bella. Did someone have a bad day at the office?" He said knowingly. He knew I didn't drink unless I really needed to.
"Yeah, I just really hate the fact that I pull everyone's weight around there." I felt a rant coming on as I followed him. "But lets not talk about work, okay?" I gave a dismissive shake of my head. "Talk to me! Did you get a date today?"
"Umm, no Bella." He rolled his eyes at me. "I work in a hospital, remember? I could understand you asking that if I worked in a bar or something, but really!"
I giggled at him as he grabbed me and tried to rub my head with his knuckles for a noogie. Alice walked in with a grin on her face.
"Are you sure you two aren't related?" she asked, crossing to give Edward a hug. "I mean, you act like you're brother and sister, I swear!"
"Thank god I'm not related to him!" I teased, giving him a slap on the shoulder, as he released me to hug Alice.
"You only wish you were cool enough to be related to me." He said with a laugh.
"Pffft. You only wish you were cool!" I rolled my eyes and headed into the kitchen. "Alright, let's get dinner done."
Dinner was eaten quickly, as we each took turns talking about our day either at the office, hospital, or studio. After dinner, we retreated to the living room to drink some wine and chat. I sat next to Alice on the couch, while Edward took a seat in the chair next to the couch.
"So what's the next step for you two? Move to Canada so you can make it legal?" He asked. I think he was actually serious.
"No." Alice said, glancing at me, love shining in her eyes. "We don't need a paper to tell us we'll be together as long as we both shall live."
"True, I was just wondering though." He said, looking thoughtful. "Wouldn't you feel just more complete with said paper?"
Alice paused briefly, looking at me for a moment. I shook my head at her, hoping she wouldn't tell him our plans. This was something I wanted to tell Edward about on my own.
"I think there are other ways to complete us, to make us feel more like a family." She said, winking at me.
"Ok, well on that note," he said, shifting uncomfortably in his seat. "I'd best head home for some shut eye." Getting out of his chair, he leaned down and gave me a small hug. I got up and walked him to the door, not exactly sure what was going on in his head. I guess our affection in front of him made him feel a bit uncomfortable. That was odd.
"See you later, Edweirdo." I said, trying to hold back the giggle.
"I'm tired, so I'm going to let that one slip." He said with a smile. "Goodnight."
After locking the door, I went back into the living room to find it was empty. Figuring Alice had gone to bed, I turned off all the lights as I made my way to our bedroom. I found Alice in bed, not looking the least bit sleepy. I changed into my night shirt and climbed in bed and snuggled up to her.
As we lay in bed, legs intertwined, I delicately moved my hand up her side, just barely grazing her breast, gingerly holding her neck to pull her in for a kiss. "Bella." She whispered as my lips parted, tasting her lips with my tongue. Her tongue met mine, softly linking and causing a moan to erupt from my throat. I pulled away from her just long enough to pull my shirt over my head, leaving me naked except for my panties. She followed my lead, taking off her nightie, revealing she was completely naked underneath.
"That's no fair, baby." She said, lust lacing her voice. She traced her finger down my neck, to my breast, lingering on my nipple for a moment, continuing down my stomach, before hooking her finger on my panties. I lifted my hips slightly to help her, and she pulled my panties down my legs. I kicked them the rest of the way off.
Without breaking our kiss, I started playing with her breast, lightly tugging on the nipple and feeling it react to my touch. Her hand was on my hip; and she slowly moved her hand around towards my lower stomach, just grazing the top of my groin. Trying hard to concentrate on caressing her body, I found myself pausing briefly when her fingers found purchase on the folds of my heated sex. She dipped her finger to gently rub my clit, causing me to moan loudly. Pulling her closer, our kiss deepened as I forced my tongue into her mouth, desperately seeking deeper contact.
Wanting to give her the same pleasure, I took my hand from her breast and progressed to her sex, slipping a finger inside her. Her pussy was so wet for me. I felt her slip two fingers inside me, and begin to pump them inside me. I followed her lead, and slipped three fingers in her, pumping with a steady pace to match hers. Using my free hand to caress her breast, our breathing got even heavier. Moans filled the room as our orgasms approached. As my fingers continued to pump inside her, I moved my thumb on the same hand and began rubbing her swollen clit. I felt her palm rubbing my clit as she fingered my aching center, and felt the start of my orgasm. I threw my head back as our bodies trembled with pleasure as our orgasms swept our bodies.
I slowly removed my fingers from her, waiting until her eyes opened to look at me before bringing my fingers to my mouth to lick them clean. She kissed me deeply and sighed, still high from her orgasm, her heartbeat slowly getting back to normal.
Without saying a word, she turned over so I could spoon her. I kissed her shoulder. And whispered to her my love as we both let slumber claim us.
As I fell asleep, I envisioned my pregnant belly, round and tight. And then I pictured a fair skinned green eyed baby, with me and Alice as his mothers. I fell asleep with a smile on my face. This is going to be a very good year was my last thought.
***
The clock read ten until nine, so, I rolled over and snuggled Alice for a while before getting out of bed and heading to the bathroom. Weekends are the best; I could sleep as late as I wanted. And I got to hang out with my sweet Alice all day. Today would be a good day, but different. I needed to talk to Edward. I wanted to get that out of the way. I had just gotten over my period five days ago so I knew I had about a week to get him to say yes and hand over his magic milk.
I grabbed my phone and started texting.
Hey Edward, wake up. You and I are hanging out today. Just you and me. You better not have plans.
He just loves it when I belittle him, I giggled to myself. Less than a minute later my phone beeped with a text.
Good morning to you too! And yes I do have plans… at least I do now. Hanging out with you today. When, where?
Oh no! I was actually starting to feel nervous. What if he says no?
Your place, I'll bring movies. You provide popcorn. I'll be there in an hour.
See you then. He replied
Ok, Bella, time to get on your big girl panties and ask your best friend if he will share his sperm with us.
Shouldn't be hard. Just jack off in a cup, no strings.
Right, just a baby that shares his genes, no big deal.
This may be harder than I thought.
After kissing Alice goodbye and her giving me words of encouragement, I headed to Edwards house. He lived just five minutes away, in a house way too big for just one person. I parked in his driveway, and headed to his front door. I walked in like I owned the place, without even a knock.
"Hey!" He called as he walked down the stairs towards me.
"Morning" I said, as we exchanged a quick hug. My voice sounded a little nervous, even to my ears. This was not how I wanted this day to play out, with me being nervous.
Raising one eyebrow at me, he grabbed the movies from my hand and walked toward the TV room. As I followed behind him, I was quickly losing my nerve to ask my favor. An anonymous donor was sounding better and better by the second!
The day went by quickly. We watched a movie, ate popcorn, and I occasionally threw a few kernels in his direction just to piss him off. By the time the evening came, we had watched two movies, talked about his most recent sexcapade, and had taken a walk around the block. Soon I needed to get home to Alice, so I decided now was the time. I had to ask him now… or never.
"So Edward." I started, just stopping myself from biting my lip in a display of nerves. He turned to look at me, with an inquisitive look on his face. I continued, "Alice and I are partners."
"Um yes… is this supposed to be news to me?" He quipped, his eyes questioning.
"Sorry, I'm just…" fuck, I was too nervous. I was being a blubbering idiot here! Time to calm down and start over.
"Edward, AliceandIwanttohaveachildtogether." I blurted out. If I said it all quickly, I could get my answer and leave quicker.
"Wow, I didn't realize you grew a dick Bella." He deadpanned. "I'm impressed! Been eating pussy so long that your body chose to make you equipped to better please, I suppose." He teased, looking at me with that signature cocked eyebrow.
"Wow, you're an asshole!" My reaction showing clearly that I wasn't amused.
"I'm just teasing, Bella." He said, his voice now held a cajoling tone as he tried to mollify me. "I think that's great. But how does that work?"
"Well, we get donor sperm. And well, I am going to carry the baby."
I can do this. I can do this. I chanted to myself.
Just say it.
"Edward, will you please be the donor." I couldn't hide the pleading in my voice. "No strings, you sign off on the baby and we raise it. You won't be responsible for it at all." I struggled to find the right words to explain this to him. "I just… we just… we trust you and you're smart, and handsome, and the epitome of what we want our donor to be." I was breathless now as I had I just said all that in one breath.
His silence was unbearable. The look on his face was priceless and in any other situation I would have been laughing at his pained expression. Shock, terror, and distress all at once. But I didn't feel like laughing, I felt like darting out the door and into the arms of my woman so she could comfort me.
"I'm sorry, Edward, I shouldn't have asked." I got up and headed to the door as quickly as possible, struggling to hold myself together long enough to get out the door.
"Wait!" He exclaimed as he grabbed my arm. "Don't go yet."
"I'm sorry Edward." I repeated, keeping my face averted from his gaze. God! I felt so stupid right now!
"Listen, you caught me off guard here." He moved his head to look me in the face, but I still wouldn't meet his eyes. "I think it's something we should discuss." He said sincerely.
"Really?" I replied, finally letting my eyes lock with his green ones. I was truly shocked he was even willing to talk about it.
"Yes, now get your ass back on the couch and talk to me like a big girl." He half pulled, half dragged me back to the sofa. "You have your big girl panties on right now, right?" He knew me way to well.
I sat down on the couch, and he plopped down next to me. He put his hand on his chin and rested his elbow on his knee and it looked as if he was really concentrating. It seemed like forever before he started talking again.
"Listen," he began, "I don't want a kid." I felt my heard drop. "I'm thrilled that you and Alice feel the need to have one, but I just don't think it's a good idea for me right now."
"Edward, I don't think you understand." I stated in a rush. "This is for me and Alice. Not me and you." I needed to make him understand. "You would sign away your rights to the baby, and forfeit any legal responsibilities for the baby. Same sex couples do this all the time." I watched his face closely as my words sank in.
"Uh, ok. They may, but I don't do this all the time." He retorted.
"I know, but you're my best friend." I had to get him to at least consider what I was asking. "You're the one person I trust above all others aside from Alice. And you should feel the same way about me, right?" My voice and eyes pleaded with him.
"Yes, you're right. I trust you." He admitted. Good! At least he was willing to listen.
"Just think about it, ok?" I got up and started walking to the door. "I'll come over tomorrow."
"Ok," he said absently "tomorrow, right." I noticed his eyes looked slightly glazed over.
Oh shit! I think I just put the man in shock!
I left quickly and raced home to see Alice, feeling a sense of dread overcome me. What had I just asked of my friend? Who has seen me through all my fights with Alice, talked me through the feelings of anguish when Alice and I experienced lesbian bed death; and now I just nearly killed him with my request for his sperm! Fuck! I hope he doesn't act weird to me now.
I slept horribly that night, tossing and turning, only to wake up the next morning to an empty bed. I got up and searched the house for my sweet Alice. I found her in the guest room, asleep, that was a shock. What the fuck?
"Alice?" I whispered, trying to wake her up.
Her sleepy eyes opened and she looked at me for a moment before she murmured, her eyes full of sleep. "Hey baby! You tossed and turned so much I couldn't sleep, sorry baby."
"Oh, ok. I was just wondering where you went." I said. "I'm headed to Edwards after I get ready. I'm hoping he'll consent to father our baby, but I'm not too optimistic." I didn't want to raise her hopes.
"Tell him it's the one and only time he can knock someone up without all the drama," She teased. "Maybe that will change his mind." I wished I could be that optimistic.
With a sigh, I headed to our bedroom to get ready for the day.
***
I arrived at Edward's in record time, and had somehow decided during the short car ride to tell him never mind. This wasn't worth me stressing. I had barely reached the door when it was flung open and my shocked eyes fell on a grinning Edward.
"Umm, ok." I said, "What are you smiling about?" I asked as I walked through the door, watching his face closely. I was a bit weirded out by his apparent happy mood.
"Well, I have an answer for you." Oh, God, he had made up his mind!
"Oh really?" I said, trying to keep the hope out of my voice. "Ok, well let me sit down and then you can let me have it." He raised an eyebrow at me, and followed me to the living room.
"Bella, I'm not going to lie to you." He began, and I could tell he was choosing his words carefully. "I was shocked when you asked me to donate sperm for you. I mean," He paused for a moment, searching for the right words. "I shouldn't say shocked, I was freaked the fuck out."
"Not sure where you're going with this Edward, but please continue." I still would not allow myself to hope.
"Well, I have decided that I will give you my sperm to make a baby." He announced, looking rather smug in fact. "I know I have some spectacular genes that any woman would want to get her hands on, and so I decided fine. Let's do it. You're my best friend, and I know you want this."
"Oh my god Edward!" I could hardly contain myself, this was way too easy! I wanted to jump up and down, and scream my joy to the world!
"But…' he paused, and my heart stopped at that word. "I have a condition." I felt my joy dashed to the ground.
I decided not to say anything, to just let him say whatever his condition was. It couldn't be that bad, could it? He already said yes.
"My condition is this." He started, locking his eyes on mine. "I will father a baby for you. I will knock you up happily, and then sign away my rights for you and Alice so you can be a happy little family." He paused for a moment, and then continued. "But, I will only do this the natural way."
"What do you mean the natural way?" I was baffled, my confusion evident on my face. What could be more natural than a sperm and an egg meeting? I thought.
"I mean," his voice suddenly deathly serious, "you and I conceive the baby like a man and woman would in nature."
My mouth fell open, shocked and appalled: I was speechless.
FUCK!
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