Alright! So this is my first Twilight Saga story. I originally wanted to write and Edward/Bella one, but I just got so attached to Leah after Breaking Dawn, and I felt people hated her for no reason, so I wrote this instead after having a dream about it. There will be a lot of flashbacks, so just to warn you on that. Rating may go up later. Each Chapter will be names after a song, and a part of the song will always be in the chapter. So yea. If I repeat artist too much. I'm sorry. Write your own story. And yes, the beginning is from the end of Eclipse.
Disclaimer: I do not own any of these characters! Except Gabi, she's mine, well not really she's my friend Sese's lol, but yes! She's not Stephenie Meyers.
"Jacob do you think this is going to take too much longer?" I demanded impatiently.
Like anyone in the pack I knew everything. I knew why he came here, and though I knew for a fact all he wanted was to be left alone, I still went against his will and forced my company on him. I had to put a stop to this. Believe it or not I still had some particle of me that hoped to one day become sane, but Jacob's thoughts about his beloved leech lover were ridiculous! I couldn't stand it anymore! His Every thought made me nauseous, and through I refused to admit to him and even myself, that I knew exactly what he was going through, and worst of all—feeling, I had to at least try and persuade him to stop.
"Jump off a cliff Leah" he calmly said, pointing to the cliff at his feet.
"Really kid" I said spreading myself onto the ground next to him "You have no idea how hard this is for me"
"For you?" he started "You have to be the most self-absorbed person alive Leah. I'd hate to shatter the dream world you live in, the one where the sun is orbiting the place where you stand so I won't tell you how little I care what your problem is. Go. Away."
I rolled my eyes. "Just look at this from my perspective for a minute, okay?" I asked making as if I hadn't heard a single word he had just spoken. Yea I know I was in fact self-absorbed. I had to be. No one else cared for, or about me, well…not anymore. And if you're thinking about my dear beloved mother, you're wrong. She was so excited helping Emily plan her dream wedding with…well she just didn't really give a rats ass. So now it was up to me to make myself feel important. Okay, so I went a little overboard sometimes, but what was the harm if everyone thought I was a heartless bitch anyway?! I then heard Jacob laugh. "Stop snorting and pay attention." I snapped.
"If I pretend to listen will you leave?" he asked, my face automatically forming a scowl. I stared at him as he looked at my face, and I suddenly remembered those times so far away, when Jacob and all the other boys in the reservation would just drool whenever they saw me. I knew for a fact none of them thought of me like that. Well sometimes….he did. I felt my scowl, coordinated with my temper, heat up.
"This is making me sick Jacob. Can you imagine what this feels like to me? I don't even like Bella Swan. And you've got me grieving over this leech lover like I'm in lover with her too. Can you see where that might be a little confusing? I dreamt about kissing her last night! What the hell am I supposed to do with that?"
"Do I care?"
"I can't stand being in your head anymore! Get over her already! She's going to marry that thing. He's going to try to change her into one of them! Time to move on boy."
"Shut Up" he growled. Well if I wasn't going to win this argument I was going to take this beautiful opportunity to make it enjoyable, you know? Fun. Well, for me at least.
"He'll probably just kill her anyway." I sneered "All the stories say that happens more often than not. Maybe a funeral will be a better closure than a wedding. Ha." I smiled smug. If everything else I had told him didn't get to him, I knew this definitely would. Hopefully he would finally realize that I was right and would finally out the whole pack out of its misery. The role of pathetic ex-significant was already taken. I watched intrigued as he closed his eyes, concentrated on trying to stay together and not phase. My smile only got bigger as he opened his eyes and looked at me. It was only a joke.
"If you're upset about gender confusion, Leah…" he said. Slow. Emphasizing each and every word that came through his lips. "How do you think the rest of us like looking at Sam through your eyes? It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with your fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him too." I immediately felt the pain shoot across my face.
He had me.
And what was worse was that I knew he was right. I scrambled to my feet, paused to spit in his direction, then turned and began making a run for the woods, my body trembling, waiting for the monster to rip itself out of my skin.
"You missed" I heard him say. And that did it.
A tremor ran down my spine before I heard a tearing sound. Shit. Well, there went my clothes. I exploded. My grey fur replaced my bronze skin. Mine and Jacob's 'conversation' kept playing over and over in my head. It's bad enough that Emily has to deal with your fixation. She doesn't need us guys panting after him too. A deep growl formed in my chest. Jacob's house soon came into view. Outside, Billy black was in his chair looking at me, his face somewhat uneasy. I stopped at the edge of the forest and stared back at him breathing heavily. A new emotion flashed across his face. Concern. He tilted his head to the side and then back upright, signaling me to go to the back of the small house, before he went back inside.
I surreptitiously made my way to the back door, my eyes scanning the area for any human who didn't know the Quileute secret. I stood in front of the back door. I heard the locks click, the knob turn. The door opened, revealing Billy with a pile of clothes on his lap.
"Here. These are Rachel's." he told me, instructing me to lower my head "You two are about the same size." I nodded my head grateful, and he took the opportunity to place the clothes on my muzzle. He then closed the door giving me some privacy to phase back and dress. I lowered my head, letting the clothes fall to the ground. I groaned in pure frustration and circled the Black's backyard a couple time to cool off. I walked back to the door, took a deep breath and closed my eyes, concentrating. I then felt myself turn back into my human form, and exhaled. I quickly picked up the t-shirt and jeans from the ground and dressed.
"You decent?" Billy's deep voice asked from the other side of the door. I opened it and nodded.
"Yeah." I whispered looking down at my feet to avoid his gaze.
"You—uh…You wanna…talk?" he asked like any other concerned father. I finally met his dark brown eyes and shook my head. It wasn't that I didn't confide in Billy Black. No. On the contrary, he had become like a father to Seth and I since ours passed away. Now he helped my little brother and I understand and 'embrace' our new way of life. But as any other 'normal' father-daughter relationship, there were still some things I just couldn't talk to him about. This was definitely one of them.
He took a deep breath. "Alright" he told me. I knew he knew what it was more or less about. He wasn't exactly okay with it, but he judged me less than anyone else. "I'll call you mother so she won't worry. Now…you go ahead and rest in Jacob's room." He said already wheeling away from me and heading for the phone.
"Thank you" was my simple answer before making my way to Jacob's room. Being here was a million times better than being at home. My mother was just as disappointed about my 'fixation' as anybody. "Don't you want your cousin Emily to be happy?" she asks me as if she wasn't aware of what had happened. She would just give me long speeches and asked a thousand questions. Billy didn't, so I definitely that I was better off here.
I slowly walked into the small room and strode my way over to the bed. I crawled in and sat with my knees pulled up into my chest, while I wrapped my arms around my legs and rested my chin on my knees. I leaned against the wall and looked out the window. This all just wasn't what I had expected. I grew up thinking I was normal, that the stories dad used to tell Seth and I were just stupid superstitions. I was happy when I was in high school. All the guys thought I was beautiful, but after they noticed I wasn't the easy type, they stopped bugging me. So they were 'popular' and I wasn't. I didn't want to be and I didn't mind.
I tried to make myself as invisible as possible. I didn't exactly like the harassment offered by guys. Then I saw him. Sam Uley. I flinched as his name crossed my mind. Of course I had thought of him, but I had refused to think or say his name. When I saw…Sam, everything changed. I'd known Sam for a long time. With a population of roughly 400 people, it was embarrassing if you didn't know everyone by name. We grew up together.
My father always helped Sam's mother out since she was raising him on her own. We were best friends in elementary school, but when he moved on to middle school, I was left in fourth grade without him, and we naturally drifted apart. When I hit middle school we both had different friends already but that didn't stop me from having a crush on him. But again, he moved on to high school, and I was left in seventh grade. I moved on. The crush I had on him was still there. But I naturally had crushes on other guys, and I eventually forgot about him.
Then I hit high school. Like I said: All the guys thought I was beautiful, but after they noticed I wasn't the easy type, they stopped bugging me. So they were 'popular' and I wasn't. I didn't want to be and I didn't mind. I tried to make myself as invisible as possible, and I had only made one true friend. Gabriella. She was the best friend I could ever ask for. She was probably the only white kid from New York in the reservation. But I greeted her into the Reservation and then, we became inseparable. But back to my original point. I didn't exactly like the harassment offered by guys. But halfway thorough the year, I saw Sam again…and I didn't want to be invisible anymore. He wasn't the dorky little boy I played with on the beach, or the gangly little kid I used to play house with. He wasn't even the little boy who proposed to me when he was ten, and being the grossed out seven year old I was, I naturally said no. Now I wanted Sam to notice me. But trying to be invisible what a bad habit to break and I was left invisible. But yet…by some incredible miracle…he noticed me.
Everything was so peaceful. That's why I liked walking home. Nature soothed me, final exams were coming up, and the whole school was hysterical, what with prom and graduation coming up for the seniors, so after a long day of any freshman day, it was very relaxing. I sung softly, the tune barely audible to myself, and then suddenly I heard rustling in the woods, scaring me slightly. What if there was a wolf or something that wanted to eat me? I looked around me but there was nothing. Then the next thing I felt was something on my shoulder, and I gasped loudly before clamping both hands over my mouth.
"Did I scare you? I'm sorry. Are you okay?" he asked me with a smile.
"Yea" I whispered "yea I'm fine I just…I though I heard something." I said a little louder.
"Well…you are walking at the edge of the forest…there's bound to be some noise." He told me with a nervous chuckle. "You do…remember me…right?" he asked with slightly raised eyebrows.
"Of course. You know Uley, you're kinda hard to forget.'' I said now completely calm, but nervous at the same time. "I thought you'd be the one to forget me." I said with a smirk.
"Oh no" he said placing his hands in his pockets and walking beside me "Can't forget the Clearwater's. You're dad makes the best fish fry in the whole reservation." I laughed and shook my head.
"Is that the only reason you remember me?" I asked with a raised eyebrow.
"No, not at all. Although you're name is supposed to be Lee Lee Uley." He said smirking.
"You…still remember that?" I asked
"You still remember that?" he asked looking at me slightly stunned.
"Of course. How can I forget the first time a guy proposed to me when I was seven, and by Sam Uley to top it off!" I said giggling.
"Well you were pretty cute back then."
"What do you mean 'were'?" I asked pretending to be offended
"No come on don't get mad. I'm just joking, besides…you have quite a number of guys dying to go out with you." He told me and I looked up smiling at him. I shook my head.
"You mean the preps and jocks?" he nodded "Not really my type." I stated.
"Great! Well I mean…" he paused "listen, I was wondering. Do you want to go out to eat or something?" he asked coolly
"Right now?" I asked with a raised brow. He laughed.
"No not now, I meant like Friday, or Saturday night." I stopped walking
"Are you asking me out on a date?" I asked with a slight smile
"Well yea." he laughed "Yea a date." he admitted with a chuckle. I eyed him playfully, the smile never leaving my lips.
"Aren't you a junior?" he nodded "So why do you want to go out with me. I'm a freshman remember?" I said and started walking again.
"You don't act like a freshman. Certainly don't look like one."
"Won't your friends tease you anyway?" I asked with a smirk
"Nah, I don't care what they tell me."
"Okay then." I answered as we arrived to the front of my house.
"Great, uh…I'll pick you up Friday at seven.'' he said
"Friday at seven sounds good"
"Alright." he said excitedly. "See you at school tomorrow?"
"Definitely." I told him with a smile
"Awesome, see ya tomorrow." He told me and then took off jogging towards his house. I bit my lip and smiled, making my way in the house.
And the rest was history. That's at least was the least painful memory. Of course, all the other memories began shuffling though my head involuntarily. The day he asked me to be his girlfriend on prom night, which we were supposed to go to since he was a junior but we decided to just go out to eat with friends making that our third date. Our first kiss only three days after being together at the cliffs. And of course…our first time at his senior prom.
"Lee we don't have to do this." He told me with furrowed eyebrows.
"You were the one who brought it up and asked me if I was ready, and I said yes." I reminded him taking the room key from his fingers, and sliding it in the slot above the door handle, waiting for the light to turn green. As soon as it did, I opened the door and flipped on the light switch.
"So…where does your mother think you are tonight? I mean, after coming to prom with me."
"Well…" I said and looked around the hotel room. "She thinks I'm heading back to Gabi's and spending the night there."
"Didn't we see Gabi and her boyfriend in the lobby getting a room?"
"Yea." I said turning to him smiling widely.
"You like the room?' he asked, a nervous tone to his voice.
"I love it." I told him with a smile as I walked to him.
"Good, consider it a one year anniversary gift."
"You remembered?" I asked biting my lip.
"Of course, how could I forget?''
He let out a slight chuckle and pulled me to his chest by my waist, kissing me softly. I smiled slightly into the kiss and wrapped my arms around his neck, which thanks to the four inch heels I was wearing, was easier to do. He pulled me closer to him and I slid my hands down his chest. I grabbed his blazer and slipped it out of his arms. He unwrapped his arms from my waist and let the blazer fall to the floor. I slipped out of my heels and stood on my tippy toes, and took a step back towards the queen sized bed. He began unbuttoning his shirt and let that drop to the floor as well, exposing his extremely chiseled chest and abs, then reached for the sipper of my dress and unzipped it. I slowly pulled away from the kiss and smiled softly at him. I slipped my arm out of my one shouldered dress and let it slip to the floor circling my feet, and leaving me in only my nude strapless bra, and nude lace boy shorts. I bit my lip nervously and looked up at Sam who seemed to be in awe. I reached to his belt and unbuckled it; the he reached the button on his pants undoing it and slid out of them, kicking his shoes of at the same time. I stood still and looked at him as he did the same.
"You're beautiful." he whispered
I felt my cheeks redden and he placed the hair out of my face and behind my ear. I looked up at him again and before I knew it his lips were on mine again. He lifted me up, and I immediately wrapped my legs around his waist, arms around his neck. I kissed him passionately as he did the same. He walked to the bed and laid me down gently on in. I pulled away from the kiss and scooted back to lay my head on the pillow, never taking my eyes off him. He smiled softly at me and crawled to me. He placed his hands on either side of my head and I reached up to kiss him. At the same time I reached behind my back and I unhooked my bra. When Sam heard the fabric hit the floor he pulled away from the kiss and looked down at me. I bit my lip and reached down to his boxers, pulling them off as best as I could with his help. Then he did the same with my boy shorts. Now we were completely naked, and the nerves were finally kicking in. he slowly reached his hand toward my bare black stomach and traced his fingertips over it, sending goose bumps throughout my body. I could feel and definitely see he was fully…ready, and I…well I was ready. He continued to run his fingers over my body, our breaths already heavy.
"Are you positively sure you want to do this?"
"I am. I love you." I whispered.
"I love you too, but I don't have to do this to prove that you love me."
"I know—I know, but I really do want to. I want you to be the first, and we both know this has to happen sooner or later."
"Yea true." He told me and I smiled softly at him. "Are you ready?" he asked in a whisper.
"Yes." I answered. He looked down and I could feel him coming closer to my body. I took a deep breath and placed my hands on his shoulders, then, he finally thrusted into me. A groan escaping his lips, a gasp escaping mine.
That was the best night of my entire life. I was in love. It felt funny—being in love. But I liked it. I knew Sam was the one I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. But then he disappeared. I of course went crazy. Mrs. Uley and I searched everywhere for him, people began to talk, rumoring he had dies in some sort of freak accident, making me even more hysterical. He appeared a couple of weeks later, but he wouldn't talk to me. I could see he wanted to, but couldn't. Then one day he came over to my house in the middle of the night, he tried to explain, but something in him always told him to stop. It was the most infuriating thing ever! But we loved each other, so we tried to work it out.
Emily came over one day. I was so happy to have her over. Emily was only my second cousin, but she was like the sister I never had and always dreamed of having. So to have Sam meet her was very exciting, so he came over, and as soon as I saw him look at her…I knew it was over. Everything. Over. He looked at her with adoration, love. Sure he looked at me with those expressions too, but now with nearly all the intensity he had when he looked at her. He now only looked at me with lust, sometimes even indifferently, as if I were just another girl in an ocean of people. My heart had more than broken. It had shattered. I'd given everything to him…everything! And in return, I got shreds of my heart. His promises of loving me forever, of getting married, traveling, and having kids…they were gone…vanished. All broken.
I didn't understand what had happened or why. All I know was that I was pissed. Especially pissed at Emily. She was like my sister! How could she have done this to me?! How could have Sam done this to me? I didn't sleep, or eat, or even go out of my house for days. I would lock myself in my room and curl up in my bed and cried for weeks. Cried and cried until there were no more tears, and I'd fallen asleep. My parents and even my brother begged for me to get out of my room. But I didn't. I couldn't. I wouldn't. My father finally put his foot down. He took the knob from my door off. That was funny now that I think of it. He yanked me out of my room, made me take a shower, eat and kicked me out of my house until I stopped crying. And with Gabi, my bestest friend in the whole wide world's help...I did. And slowly I began to recover, not fully, no I knew that would never happen, but I was on my way, and I became a moody harpy bitch.
One day, after hearing that Emily wanted me to be a bridesmaid, my temper finally reached its point. How could she ask that of me? Was she being serious? Being the bridesmaid at the man that I was deeply in love with's wedding?!!! I was pacing back in forth in the kitchen yelling my head off in front of my mom, dad, and Seth. When Seth told me to stop, he looking angry already, and then when mom told me to calm down…I snapped. I don't know how or why but suddenly I was in someone else's body, I was in a wolf's body I freaked out, no longer angry but confused and scared. I looked at my parents…but all I saw was Seth in a wolf form too…and my father on the floor clutching his chest. I know some people blame me for my father's death, and one of those many people is me. So now I was suddenly thrusted into what I had believed to be a mythical world. Billy explained things, told Seth and I stories, and I finally understood why Sam had 'fallen' in love with Emily. But not even that eased the pain. I agreed to be Emily's bride's maid. I realized…it wasn't her fault, but that didn't stop me from wishing it would have been the other way around.
It was embarrassing having all the guys, especially Sam, know all my thoughts, all my feelings. But what could I do? And now…Now I was here in Jacob's room reminiscing the wonderful life I had once lived, while less than a mile away Sam was still living a wonderful life with the woman who was practically my sister. I closed my eyes and didn't even bother to stop the tears or quiet sobs.
"Leah?" I gasped softly and quickly wiped away my tears, then turned towards the door.
"S-Sam? What is it? What's going on?" I asked alarmed, with furrowed eyebrows.
"No!" he strained a laugh "No I…" he cleared his throat "I heard what Jacob told you." He said softly, "I was uh, out with the other guys making rounds when you phased."
Great. "Oh." I whispered "So then…why exactly are you here?"
"Look, Leah." He began, approaching me.
"Don't Sam." I told him getting up quickly from the bed and going over to stand in the corner, facing Jacob's poorly stocked closet. I crossed my arms over my chest and felt my eyes get watery.
"I'm sorry, really, I—I don't know how many times I have to tell you so that you'll believe me."
"I know, I do believe you, I do. But that's the problem. I don't want to believe you. I want you to smile and say: "No I'm just kidding Lee Lee…I do love you"." I said whispering out the last part.
"Lee Lee," he said softly, placing a hand on my shoulder.
"Don't! Please don't call me that…don't touch me" I told him, tears running down my face now. I ducked around his arm and went to sit on the bed looking down. "How can you act like this?" I asked looking up at him with a disgusted face.
"Act like what?"
"Like this! As if nothing happened between us…ever! You know damn well just how many things happened!"
"I know. I know, but Lee—"
"You can't control this! I know! Damn it!" I said through clenched teeth "I've heard this over and over again Sam!" I yelled walking back to the corner, tears still escaping my eyes.
"Leah…I do love you" I looked up at him "You know I do, it's…it's just not like that anymore."
"Then what the fuck is it like?!" he didn't say anything, he just looked down, ashamed. "I hate those damn leeches."
"It's not their fault."
"Are you serious?!" I asked turning to him wide eyed "They're the reason we turned into this!"
"Yes. I know." he said "look they've proven they're not here to cause any trouble haven't they?"
"Yea, except for the fact that they want to turn that little leech lover into one of them and break the treaty!"
"You know Edward wants everything but that for bells." I glared at him.
"So you're letting them off the hook?"
"I never said that either. My duty…our duty, is to protect our tribe, no matter what." I looked down at my feet.
"I swear to you Lee Lee, nothing will ever happen to you…I'll protect you as long as I live."
The promise he had made me what seemed ages ago played in my head, also broken.
"Tell me…Sam." I whispered looking up at his face as I moved closer to him. "Do you still love me?" I slowly, carefully, placed my hand on his bare hot chest, where his heart was "Really, truly…love me?" I asked not sure if he wanted to look up at him, much less hear his answer.
" Lee Lee." He whispered reaching up to hold my hand, the one on his chest.
I looked up at him with furrowed eyebrows. When I heard him call me by my old nickname, the one he had given me when we were just kids, and with that tone of affection, tears clouded my eyes again and I stood up on my tippy toes. I pressed my lips softly to his. I felt like I was as cold as those leeches, and now the warmth of Sam's lips was making its way through my body again. Then I felt whole again, felt as if nothing had ever happened, and we were back in high school again. He kissed me back the way he did after the first time he told me he loved me, and I in return was in love all over again. But within a heart beat, I was back to feeling cold. I felt him push me away, my body slamming into the wall behind me. In front of me, Sam stood glaring at me, his hands balled up into fists at his sides.
"Don't you dare…ever do that again." He told me in a deep angry voice that made me flinch.
"I—I'm sorry." Great. I was the one apologizing now.
"How many times have I told you Leah? It's not like high school anymore. You're not my girlfriend. I don't love you, not like that, now you're more, well, more like a…sister." He told me slowly calming down, and I in return, cringed at his words.
"Great." I said through clenched teeth "That's what I've always wanted to be," I whispered "your fucking sister." The words came out cold. My body began to vibrate, eyes watery. He sighed and walked to me. He wrapped his arms around me and pulled me to his chest. I felt so vulnerable and broken, that instead of pushing his away after hurting me once more, I just automatically wrapped my arms around him too and softly cried into his chest.
"I truly, truly, am sorry Lee Lee. From the bottom of my heart, but you'll move on. I know you will." He said placing his cheek at the top of my head.
"I can't." I told him sobbing softly now. He pulled away from me slightly and looked down to meet my eyes.
"Can't or won't?" he asked rhetorically. I looked at him with furrowed eyebrows and thought about it. Maybe…Maybe he was right…
"Sam!" Seth yelled bursting through the door. We immediately pulled away from each other. I looked at Seth wide eyed.
"What is it Seth?" Sam asked coolly, again, as if nothing had just happened.
"It's Jacob. He's leaving." He told him alarmed. Sam took a deep breath and looked down deciding what to do.
"Alright…stay here. I'll go talk to him."
"He phased, and he's running."
"Great. Just—Just stay here." He said leaving the room immediately.
"Are you ok Leah?" my younger brother asked me.
"No I don't think so." I whispered to him as I sat on the bed, tears clouding my eyes again.
"What is it?" he asked walking to sit next to me. Ha. As if he didn't know already.
"Nothing, just…you wouldn't understand." I told him biting my lip to keep it from trembling.
"Aww I'm sorry Leah." He told me wrapping his arms around me. I smiled faintly and hugged him back, pressing my cheek to the top of his head. "Is there anything I can do to help?" he asked
"No. No I don't expect you to know how to fix a broken heart."
Everyday I sit here waiting
Everyday just seems so long
And now I've had enough of all the hating
Do we even care, it's so unfair
Any day it'll all be over
Everyday there's nothing new
And now I just try to find some hope
To try and hold onto
But it starts again
It'll never end
I'm heavily broken
And I don't know what to do
Can't you see that I'm choking
And I can't even move
When there's nothing left to say
What can you do
I'm heavily broken
And there's nothing I can do
Ok! Well there's the first chapter! I'm so excited! That flashback there about prom…yea I was going to make that a full blown lemon, but I have a couple friends who are a little sensitive. *coughs*Sese!*coughs* But no worries. There will be lemons in the future, so rating may go up. Read and review, and I'll try to get the next chapter up as soon as possible.
-ShotAcrossTheSky