Consider this fic Disclaimed. And unbeta'd.

I seriously wrote this almost two years ago, but never posted it. No reason why. It was finished and everything, unlike everything else in my writing folder. Was originally for a claim on LJ, but now it's not. And for the record, I love NaruSaku. It gives me warm feelings inside. I don't read it, but I would not be at all unhappy if the manga ended on such a note (not that I wouldn't propose a certain alternative if given half a chance...).

I don't think the 'scene' is really enough to deserve an M, but if some thinks I'm wrong, do me a solid and say something.

Triangles

Naruto had never felt so weird in his life.

Well, he'd been in awkward situations before... but damn. This was just downright freaky. Even for a ninja.

How the hell had he even gotten in this situation, anyway?

... Oh yeah.

Really, when you got right down to the meat of the issue... this was all Sasuke's fault. No really. It truly was this time.

Team 7, along with all the other Rookies, had grown up and it had only been a matter of time before the nins themselves noticed. Sakura had been the first to hop on the clue train. That had been the day she found herself staring at Naruto's ass instead of Sasuke's. Not that she'd mistaken one for the other mind you... it just so happens that the blonde's had been good enough to draw her eye.

After hours of inner deliberation, she came to the conclusion that really, it wasn't such a terrible thing to be attracted to Naruto. In his seventeen years, he'd filled out into a decent looking teenager. Hair that was a good five inches longer than it had been at 12 hung into dazzling blue eyes that sparkled when the boy laughed, which was still quite frequently.

Thus began the first stirrings of the Team 7 triangle. A very messy triangle that looked like it'd been drawn by a three year old.

True to Sakura nature, it was soon common knowledge throughout Konoha that Sakura had a new crush, and it was only a matter of time before word worked its way down to the central figure of the rumor himself.

True to Naruto nature... it took a little longer than expected.

"Oi, Usuratonkachi."

"Huh? Whad'ya want?"

"I heard a rumor. I want to know if it's true."

"About me?" Sasuke nodded. "Well, what is it?!"

"What's going on with you and Sakura?"

"Eh? What are you talking-"

"I heard she... You don't know?"

"No, I don't, bastard. Now tell me!"

"Hn. Nevermind. I just learned everything I need to know." Sasuke began to walk away.

"Hey! Wait a minute teme! You can't just say shit like that and leave a person hanging! What's wrong with you?!"

Fifteen minutes of bickering later, the rumor finally reached Naruto's ears.

Being it was also common knowledge that Naruto had been seeking Sakura's affections for awhile now, it was another matter of time before that particular two thirds of Team 7 became an item.

Three weeks into the relationship, the real trouble began.

"Sasuke!"

The Uchiha stopped and glanced over his shoulder to where he'd heard Naruto holler after him. "What is it, dobe?"

Naruto screeched to a halt next to his teammate. He crouched slightly, winded due to running all over Konoha looking for this bastard. "Sasuke... I have... a problem." He panted.

Sasuke raised one immaculate eyebrow, and Naruto prepared himself for rejection. Sasuke had been extremely testy these past few weeks, and it had taken the Kyuubi vessel three days just to garner the courage to approach the PMSing Uchiha with his predicament.

Sasuke allowed Naruto seventeen seconds to catch his breath before he voiced his impatience. "Spit it out, dobe."

"I need... a really big favor." The blond managed as his breath returned to him.

"Well, what is it?"

Naruto straightened to look his friend in the eye. "Now, don't get mad at me, cuz this is just me speaking for Sakura-chan, alright?"

"Fine."

"Understand, teme?"

"I said 'Fine'. Just get on with it, usuratonkachi."

"Well... you see... Sakurachansaidshe'llhavesexwithmeisifIgotyoutojoinusforthefirsttimeandIwaswonderingifyou'dbeokaywiththatcuzifyou'renotthat'scooltooit'sjustI-"

"Dobe!"

Naruto cringed when Sasuke interrupted him. "S-Sasuke?" This was it. It was his time to die. Good bye Sakura-chan! Good bye cruel world!

"I'll do it."

"...WHAT?!"

"I said 'Fine, I'll do it.'"

"Wh-what? What do you mean you'll do it?!"

"I assume you were asking me to... sleep with you and Sakura, or was I mistaken?"

"N-no... I just... I didn't think you'd go for it."

"I guess you thought wrong then." Sasuke countered as he turned to walk away once more. "Get back to me on the details. I have a mission."

And so phase two of the project leading to the most-awkward-moment-ever was set in motion.

--

It was another two weeks before Sakura's appointed date arrived and Sasuke and Sakura found themselves outside Naruto's apartment, waiting for the baka to answer the door.

Sakura was fidgeting nervously next to the man she'd had a crush on since pre-pubescence. She was still finding it hard to believe that he accepted their offer. As a matter-of-fact, when Naruto had conveyed his agreement, she'd pounded him into the dirt for daring to lie to his girlfriend. Sasuke later confirmed that what Naruto'd said was true.

Sasuke, on the other hand, looked as calm and stoic as ever... like he wasn't about to partake in a threesome with his teammates of five years.

A few minutes of bustling noises from within later, Naruto flung the door open.

"Is anybody else feeling really awkward right about now?" He asked quickly before allowing them inside. Sasuke shrugged before shoving past Naruto and into the apartment, while Sakura caught the blonde's eye and nodded meekly. Naruto turned to follow his teammate into the apartment. "Make yourself at home, teme." He growled. Sasuke shot him a half-hearted glare but said nothing.

Sakura followed them into the tiny apartment. Naruto gave her a startled look.

She frowned. "What?"

"Nothing. It's just... it's weird having so many people in here."

Sasuke scoffed from his adopted seat on the couch, the same place he sat whenever he found himself in this apartment. "Baka. It's just three."

"Yeah, but I've never had more than one person in here at a time."

Sakura looked curious. "Do you have people over often?" She looked confused. "Cuz... I've never actually even been in here before today."

"Nah. Not many people. I've had Kiba and Shikamaru over a few times... but mostly it's just Sasuke."

"Just Sasuke-kun? How come you've never had me over, Naruto?" Sakura asked, a tinge of hurt lacing with her baffled tone.

Naruto shrugged as he walked toward the bathroom. "I dunno. I just never thought you'd want to come here, I guess."

The blond didn't catch the Uchiha's smirk, but Sakura did. Though she didn't know what it meant, and that only served to confuse the girl more. Unfortunately, a confused Sakura is a defensive Sakura.

After huffing silently for a few moments, she took a seat on the couch next to Sasuke. Sasuke heard her mumble something about inconsiderate boyfriends before raising her voice once more.

"Well..." She began, an expectant lit to her tone.

--

Sasuke watched the two make-out on the floor below his seat on the couch. He did plan on joining eventually. He really did. They'd invited him after all, and he didn't plan on humoring their exhibitionist tendencies all night. Besides, he wasn't going to lie- he'd been waiting for a chance like this to come along for a few months now.

He slid gently off the couch to sit on the floor behind Naruto, but paused. He didn't have much experience in this area. After living his life dedicated to perfecting his ninja arts, just being social was enough of a struggle for him. Romance-type-things... why'd he even agree to this in the first place?

Naruto moaned as Sakura's hand fisted in his hair.

... Oh. Right.

His touches were tentative at first, a brush here and there along Naruto's bare back, Sakura having removed his shirt a good five minutes ago, a slight kneading of the muscles stretched over the blonde's shoulders, but his confidence was gradually stoked as Naruto began pressing back into his fingers even whilst kissing Sakura.

Things progressed steadily after that. Naruto hardly registered the fact that the sensations he was feeling were being administered by two different people. He felt Sakura's lips on his neck, and Sasuke's on his back. Sakura's hands clinging to his upper arms, Sasuke's grasping his waist, but his mind melded to dual sources together. He vaguely noticed Sakura reaching one arm around to stroke Sasuke's cheek timidly, but what he didn't see, was Sasuke flinching away from the bold touch.

"N-ne... Sasuke-kun?" She breathed, detaching her lips from her boyfriend's neck. Naruto groaned at the loss, eyes cracking open slightly to silently question the girl. Sasuke, too, backed off from where he'd been nibbling the base of Naruto's nape. "Sasuke-kun, why haven't you touched me yet?"

Naruto's eyes opened a little wider to take in the raven-haired shinobi behind him. "Sasuke? He's been touching plenty."

Sakura shook her head. "He's been touching you just fine Naruto, but he hasn't laid a finger on me at all."

Naruto turned slightly toward Sasuke, raising an eyebrow in question. "You haven't touched Sakura-chan yet, Sasuke-teme? Do you want to switch places?" Sakura scowled slightly at his willingness to share her but didn't say anything.

It was Sasuke's turn to shake his head. "No. Where we are is fine."

"But... you can't reach Sakura-chan from there-"

"I don't want to touch Sakura, dobe."

No one spoke for what seemed like hours. Naruto and Sakura stared at their third teammate in what could have been shock. Thus began the most awkward moment in Team 7 history. Too bad the ride wasn't over yet.

Sasuke was the one to break the silence. "What?"

"I-If you didn't want to, Sasuke-kun, then why'd you agree to come?"

Sasuke let out a heavy breath of exasperation. He really didn't want to have to spell it out for them. Casting his gaze away from both of them, he decided it would be best to look anywhere but towards the couple still entwined before him.

Sakura caught on first. "S-Sasuke-kun...?" She began, a slight hint of wonder in her voice.

"Sakura-chan?" Naruto chimed in, prompting his girlfriend to finish her thought.

Her gaze landed on the blond, and she gasped slightly, pulling back from his embrace. "Oh my god..." She whispered. Sasuke's hardened stare fell upon her, but she was too far gone to be swayed by it. "Sasuke-kun... are you... are you...?" She couldn't even bring herself to say it.

"Am I what, Sakura?"

"Oh my god... I never..." She stared at the prodigy, wide eyed. Tears welled up in her eyes. "And you..." Her eyes shifted back to Naruto's confused face.

Sasuke's look softened and he quickly returned to looking anywhere but towards the couch.

Naruto was still confused.

"Hey. Hey! What's going on?... Sasuke, are you gay?"

Sakura sputtered next to him. How could he just say something like that without even...?

Sasuke, too, froze up where he sat. He hadn't really expected Naruto to make that connection. The dobe just seemed too dense to understand these things. And could he have at least broached the subject with a hint of tact?

But Sasuke found that really... the blonde's bluntness didn't bother him at all.

"Well?" The blond shinobi prompted.

"What does it matter?" Sasuke spat defiantly.

"Matter? Of course it matters! If you're gay, that means I lost the bet!" The room was enveloped in a cold silence. Naruto's eyes widened in shock as he slapped both hands to his mouth. "Oh shit."

Sasuke looked ready to kill. Or at least severely maim or castrate a certain blond. "Bet, dobe?"

"Bet? Who said anything about-"

"Naruto." Sasuke growled menacingly.

The Kyuubi vessel visibly flinched at the reprimand. "Ah... ano... Me, Kiba, Shikamaru and Neji had this... wager going... Kiba and Neji were sure you, er, preferred guys in that way, but me and Shikamaru were all like 'No way, if anything he's asexual.'" Sasuke growled deep in his throat. Naruto gulped. "AndwemadeabetandnowIguessI'velostbutwhocaresanywayrightSakura-chan?" He finished, trying to placate the fuming Uchiha.

But Sakura wasn't playing along. "Sasuke-kun... why didn't you tell us you were... were..."

"Tell you what? That I'm gay? Why would I do that, when I'm not gay?" Sasuke replied, stoic conviction clear in his deep voice.

Now Sakura looked surprised. "But... but..."

Sasuke ignored her, turning to look down his nose at the dumbfounded blond. "That means you didn't lose your bet, baka." He snarled.

"But if you're not gay, Sasuke, then what are you?! You don't want to touch Sakura-chan…"

"I've never been attracted to a girl, idiot."

"But that means..."

"But I don't go around checking out guys either." He continued in a slightly softer tone. At his words, Sakura's disbelieving stuttering ceased and she turned wide green eyes toward him. When their gazes met, he knew she understood.

"Oh, Sasuke-kun... that's so... romantic." She breathed. Watching the darker shinobi with wistful eyes.

Now Naruto was really confused. "What's romantic? That he's asexual? When you're not into banging anybody, that's not what I'd call roma-"

"I have to go." Sakura interjected suddenly, standing from her seat on the floor. The sudden movement startled the boy next to her.

"What?! Sakura-chan, I thought-"

"I... forgot I had a meeting with Tsunade-shishou today. Gomen." She supplied curtly before making a hasty beeline for the door. She graced Sasuke with a meaningful glance before letting the door fall shut behind her. He'd better appreciate what she was doing for him.

"Sakura-chan..." Naruto murmured weakly in her wake. Sasuke heaved yet another sigh. Naruto glanced briefly at him before rising from his seat on the floor in favor of the couch. Falling haphazardly upon it, he fixed Sasuke with a pointed stare.

"What?" Sasuke asked uncertainly.

"Well, you're either going to explain what the hell that was all about, or you're going to get out. It's your fault she left anyway."

"She said-"

"Whatever, teme. We both know what a crock o' shit that was."

"What do you expect me to say, usuratonkachi?"

"I expect you to tell me why Sakura-chan thinks you being as sexually driven as a cactus makes you romantic. Or is that just a fangirl quirk? Do they think everything the great Sasuke-kun does is dreamy?" Naruto glared at his teammate who was still seated on the floor.

Sasuke's eyes widened. "Is that what you think all this is about? Sakura's stupid crush?" He fumed, eyes flashing crimson briefly. "This has nothing to do with her, Naruto."

"This has everything to do with her, teme! She's my girlfriend who just so happens to have an unnatural fixation on the village pretty-boy!"

"I could careless about her, dobe! I already told you I'm not interested in girls."

"Yeah, and you're not into guys either. What are you into, Sasuke-kun? Rocks? Trees?"

"You, Naruto!"

"...What?"

"You heard me, baka."

"Yeah, I heard you. You just made absolutely no sense, whatsoever! You said you weren't into guys..."

"And I'm not. I've never been interested in anyone... except you."

"What's that supposed to mean, teme? I'm very much a guy..."

"But you being a guy has nothing to do with it! You're Naruto. That's all."

Naruto couldn't find it in himself to yell anymore, for as he had gotten progressively louder, the boy he'd been screaming at had gotten steadily softer, and even now, Sasuke wouldn't meet his eyes.

"But... but..." He couldn't even think of anything to say.

"Say something coherent, dobe."

"What do you expect me to say to that, Sasuke?" Naruto returned quietly. His change in demeanor brought Sasuke's gaze back to him, but Naruto wasn't looking at his houseguest, he was staring blankly straight ahead.

"... I don't know. It's not like this is how I planned things to turn out."

Naruto raised an eyebrow. "And how exactly did you plan on things turning out?"

Sasuke reached into his pocket and drew out a small bottle and tossed it on the coffee table not far from where he and the dobe sat. Naruto's eyes widened. Even he wasn't ignorant enough not to know what that was. "You... you though I'd..." He bristled, but Sasuke cut in before he could get anymore defensive.

"You invited me over for a threesome, Naruto." Sasuke countered, as if that answered everything.

"Yeah, a threesome. Not anal!"

"You didn't expect me to fuck Sakura, did you? What did you expect?"

"Definitely not this, that's for damn sure."

"Why'd you even agree to do this anyway, Naruto? I can't see you sharing very well."

Naruto mellowed instantly and let out a heavy sigh. "Yeah... but... I knew she still had it bad for you and... I wanted her to be happy."

"What made you think she wasn't?"

"Aw, c'mon Sasuke. Sakura's been all over you since we were genin. And she sure as hell isn't... er... wasn't over you. I was just gonna be there until you came to your fucking senses and stole her back."

"I never planned on stealing her from anyone."

"Hn."

"That's my line, dobe."

"..."

"She's insane if she wasn't happy with you, usuratonkachi." Sasuke offered quietly. When no response was put forth, he gingerly levered himself up and onto the couch. "Say something, dobe." He urged softly.

"I don't know what to say, teme." Naruto answered just as quietly. "It isn't everyday something like... this happens. And there's still Sakura to think about. She's my..."

"You were putting all your efforts into making her happy, but was she making you happy?"

"I didn't even have time to think about being happy. I was always trying to make sure she was."

"And was she?"

"No." Sasuke smirked. Naruto growled. "Hey, don't think of that as a win for the home team, teme. I'm just telling it like it is."

"Why do you have me over here more than anyone else?"

"Huh? Did you just change subjects...?"

"Just answer the question, baka, as long as you're telling it like it is."

"Geez, I don't know Sasuke. I just did. You matter a lot to me and you know it, bastard."

Sasuke let out a breath through his nose. "You mean a lot to me too, Naruto."

The blond took that chance to glance down the couch at the dark-haired nin. Sasuke wasn't looking at him. Black eyes were focused on the other side of the room. "Why, Sasuke?"

The other boy didn't need to ask what the blond was referring to, but wasn't ready to answer just yet. He countered, "Why do you like Sakura?"

"I asked you first!"

"Humor me."

"Argh. Fine. I like her cuz she's pretty, and smart and nice to people, well, most of the time... and..."

"Good reasons."

"Are you mocking me, teme?!"

"No."

"..."

"Yes."

"I knew it! Why?"

"Just listen to yourself Naruto. Smart, pretty, nice... are those really what make Sakura worthy of all your time and attention?"

"... Yes?"

Sasuke threaded his pale fingers through his dark hair and made a frustrated noise that would have been comical had the situation been any different. "You. You're driven. You're strong. You're passionate. You're not afraid of what others think of you even when you grew up in a world where everyone refused to even acknowledge your existence. You tackle everything head on, no matter how tough or impossible it seems. You can see hope and other optimistic shit even in the midst of chaos and disaster, and everywhere you go, you leave a mark on somebody, changing their fucking lives,just by being you." Sasuke was glaring daggers at Naruto by now, and his breathing was deeper from the rant.

Naruto blinked. "Wow Sasuke. I think that's the most I've ever heard you say at once."

"And it's the most anyone will ever hear me say, baka." He paused hesitantly before going on. "And I could have easily said more."

Naruto turned away, truly at a loss as to what to say to the teen before him.

Sasuke, however, didn't understand the meaning behind Naruto's silence. Had he scared the blond off? Because that's sure as hell what it looked like. A panicky feeling welled up within the nin's chest at the thought.

While Naruto's attention was internalized, Sasuke began to inch his way across the couch toward Naruto's end, utilizing every ninja stealth technique he knew. Soon, not a foot separated the boys, and Sasuke stopped, kneeling awkwardly upon the couch cushions. Naruto's gaze snapped back to the Uchiha when the teen settled himself on his haunches.

"What are you thinking, Naruto?"

"I'm thinking… I have no idea what to make of any of this."

Sasuke leaned forward tentatively. "Why are you even thinking about it?"

Naruto bristled. "What? You think I'm just going to…"

"You didn't seem to object to it before."

"I was kinda caught up in the moment, teme!"

"So?" Sasuke leaned even farther forward, confident smirk in place. "Get caught in the moment again."

Naruto didn't have time to react before Sasuke's lips gently covered his own.

Sasuke would like to say he wasn't drowning in the feeling of Naruto's lips against his own… but he'd be lying if he did.

Before either of them knew what was going on, Naruto had grasped Sasuke's biceps and began returning the kiss with typical Naruto gusto. Sasuke groaned and allowed his tongue to graze Naruto's lips.

Naruto pulled back, panting heavily, and Sasuke had no choice but to do the same. However, even separated, that left only inches between their faces. Warm breath mingled and Naruto shivered.

"Naruto…" Sasuke breathed.

"I've… never done anything like that with a guy before."

Sasuke smirked. "I've never done anything like that with anybody before." He closed part of the distance between them "And I never want to do anything like that with anybody else."

Naruto smiled softly, and it took Sasuke off guard.

"What's with the face, usuratonkachi?"

"Heh. Nothin'. It's just… no one's ever said that kinda stuff to me before."

"Hn. I meant every word, and don't you ever doubt it, Naruto." He paused before adding, "Or I'll kick your ass from here to Sand." The Uchiha Sasuke form of affection.

"Sasuke…"

"Shut up, dobe." The darker shinobi whispered before resuming their kiss.

Hands roamed and tongues explored as the two eventually rolled off the couch and onto the floor, Sasuke's fingers splayed over the blond's bare stomach and Naruto's fists clenched tightly in the fabric covering Sasuke's thighs. Every few moments, Sasuke's hips would brush Naruto's legs and remind the Kyuubi vessel just how aroused Sasuke was. It wasn't too surprising though, considering his own was pressed so maddeningly against his restrictive training pants.

He felt Sasuke's hand trail down his navel toward his hips while the other slipped around to cup his rear. When the first hand slid below his waistband, he jerked back.

"Sasuke… I don't know if we should go that far… I'm still with…"

"Sakura… yeah." Sasuke sighed as he pulled back, but Naruto's hand fisting his collar stopped his retreat.

"Don't think I'm just going to let you leave it here, teme. You better finish what you started." He whispered.

Sasuke grinned wolfishly before returning his hands to Naruto's body and entwining their legs together once more. Without warning, the Uchiha ground their hips together ruthlessly.

Naruto gasped. "S-Sasuke!"

--

"Ino, hurry!" Sakura hissed behind her as she dashed through Konoha's rapidly darkening streets. A few meters behind her, Ino was scrambling to keep up.

"Spill, Sakura. What the hell are we doing? Isn't this Naruto's neighborhood?"

"Yes."

"Then why are we sneaking around? He didn't break up with you did he?"

"No, not yet. But I have a strong feeling he might, soon."

Ino gasped. "That jerk! He isn't cheating on you is he?!"

"He'd better be." The pink haired nin growled as they sped up.

"What?!"

"Just keep up, Ino. We're almost there." She hopped deftly up onto her boyfriend's balcony, thanking the gods that the baka had forgotten to close the blinds. She hissed down to Ino who was just behind her. "Get up here! I swear, you're going to be thanking me forever once you see this."

The blonde landed beside her, staring curiously at her friend. "What, is Naruto getting out of the shower or someth-" She was cut off as Sakura pushed her face so she was looking in the window. "Oh my god…"

From where they sat, they had a perfect view of Naruto's couch. But it wasn't the upholstery that had Ino speechless. On the floor in front of it, two very sweaty bodies were tangled shamelessly. Two bodies that were very hard to mistake, even in the waning light.

The one on their back, blond and slightly shorter than the other, was arching up into the dark haired figure pressed flush against them. The darker one, pale and clad in all black, had a very telling Uchiha crest fashioned onto the back of their shirt.

"Naruto… and Sasuke-kun?" Ino sputtered, ignoring the warm feeling in her gut. "How the hell did this happen? Thought you had a date with Naruto tonight?"

"Actually, I had a date with Naruto and Sasuke-kun… it's a long story…"

"Whatever. How did your dates end up on the floor doing… oh my god, that is too hot to be legal…"

"I'll explain later."

While they'd been speaking, the boys' movements had sped up. Growls and moans escaped the couple as they ground and bucked against one another, oblivious to the voyeurs just outside. They watched as Sasuke's hand trailed down Naruto's side, grasping his hip tightly and leaning in to capture the blond's lips in a heated kiss.

The shinobi beneath him growled deep in his throat and hooked his hands over the backs of Sasuke's thighs, pulling the Uchiha even tighter against him. Said Uchiha groaned noisily in appreciation.

"Na-Naruto…"

"Shut up, Sasuke."

"No, you shut up, dobe. You're going to wake the whole district with that damn growling of yours."

"Oh yeah, well what about you, teme? Moaning and groaning like the village whor-" His insult was muffled by a hasty set of lips parting his own, and he gave into the sensation of Sasuke's tongue exploring every crevice of his mouth.

Sasuke pulled back. "Finish that sentence and you die." He hissed as he thrust mercilessly against the hardness in Naruto's pants. The blond cried out.

"Gods, I think I'm falling in love with you, teme…"

"Good." Sasuke murmured against his teammate's lips, "Just don't forget it."

Naruto snorted in laughter. "Like I could, with you humping me like a dog."

"Hn. Get used to it, usuratonkachi."

They stopped bickering when their breathing became too shallow to speak without getting winded. Ino turned to Sakura.

"They never quit, do they?"

The other girl smiled. "Nope. And that's why this is so right for them. Even before this, they were so wound up in each other… I'm surprised it took me this long to notice."

The evening light had completely faded, leaving them without a visual of the shinobi inside. But even without light, the sounds just got louder.

Suddenly, the door to Naruto's apartment slammed open, leaving the silhouettes of two more familiar shinobi standing there.

"Oi! Naruto! Hinata says that you have two girls peeping on your balcony!" Kiba bellowed into the darkness. Behind him, the boy that must have been Shino grunted in agreement. The Inuzuka was silent as his tuned senses finally picked up on the sounds from within the room. Panting and heavy breathing, permeated by scattered groans… "Whoa. Sounds like you already have a woman to worry about… heh. Sorry Sakura."

More silence as a few breathy whispers were exchanged between the couple on the floor. Kiba's eyes narrowed in the darkness as he caught snippets of a voice that was too deep to be Naruto's girlfriend.

"Hey… that ain't Sakura. Who you got in here, Naruto?" The burnet growled as he flipped the light switch on the wall next to him.

Light flooded the room and the invading nin was met with two nasty scowls aimed at him from the floor of his friend's apartment.

"Kiba. I think it would've been wiser to have knocked." Shino advised from behind the nin, both gazes locked on the pair tangled upon the floor.

"Kiba…" Naruto growled from his place under the Uchiha. "I think you should leave. Now."

"Wha?"

"We're busy." Sasuke snarled. "Leave now and I'll consider leaving your innards intact."

Kiba's mind seemed to catch up to his eyes. "Holy shit!"

"Kiba…" Identical growls from the floor.

"Hey! This means I won the bet!" Something clicked in his brain. "I knew it! Uchiha Sasuke's gay!"

"I am not gay, baka."

"How can you pull that shit outta your ass when you have your hand halfway down Naruto's pants!?" He turned to his blond friend. "And you!"

Naruto bristled. "What about me?"

"Who would've guessed you swung that way, too!"

"Shut up, Kiba. I don't."

"Lemme guess- you tripped, right?"

"Are you kidding? No way!"

"I was about to fuck him into the floorboards, idiot."

"What?! You were not!"

"Whatever, dobe. I would be if you weren't so bent on not cheating on Sakura."

Kiba jumped. "Oh yeah. That's what I came here about." He glanced toward the sliding glass door that lead to the balcony. "Naruto, Ino and Sakura are on your balcony."

"What?!" Naruto jumped up, displacing the Uchiha that'd been straddling him. "S-Sakura?!" He looked toward the door and low and behold- there crouched his girlfriend and her blonde best friend.

"Eeep!" The girls yelped when they realized they'd been spotted.

"Sakura-chaaan… what're you doing here? We were… I was…"

"Oh, shut up Naruto." Sakura sighed as she slid the door open and allowed her and Ino to walk inside. "You and Sasuke-kun were doing exactly what I hoped you were doing. I came back to make sure Sasuke hadn't fucked up the chance I gave him."

"That's why you left?! And what was so romantic?"

"Sasuke-kun, that's what."

"I don't get it..."

"He's not gay, he's not straight- he's Naruto-sexual!" She sighed dreamily. "An eyes only for you type-a thing." Sasuke rolled his eyes, but didn't correct her.

Kiba chose then to interject. "So, wait a minute… You're not into guys… and you're not into girls… you're just into Naruto?"

Sasuke raised an eyebrow. "You have a problem with that?" Naruto buried his face in his hands.

Kiba scratched lightly at the back of his head and grinned. "Nope. No problem. I actually kinda agree with Sakura. That does sound pretty romantic." Both Naruto and Sasuke rolled their eyes.

"Well, I'm not into guys, and I'm definitely into girls…" Naruto began, and ignoring the venomous glare Sasuke tossed him, "But I guess I'm into Sasuke. Ano… Sakura-chan…"

"Hm?"

"Would you be mad if I…?"

"I'd beat you into a pulp if you didn't, Naruto." Sakura grinned.

"Sorry, Sakura-chan."

"Don't be, baka." The kunoichi purred.

"Alright! I guess I'm single now."

"Dobe…" Sasuke growled menacingly.

"What?"

"…"

"It's not like you claimed me or anything!"

"…"

The blond sighed. "Fine. Not single. I get it."

"You'd better." The Uchiha snarled. He turned to Sakura. "Sorry."

"Don't worry, Sasuke-kun. I know how you can make it up to me."

"…?"

"Ino, did you bring the camera like I told you?"

"What?! No way, Sakura-chan!"

"Fine." Sasuke agreed.

"Eh?! You've got to be kidding, teme!"

"What does it matter? Everyone will know who you belong to."

Naruto froze before growling ominously enough to give his rival a run for his money. "'Belong', bastard?"

"That's what I said."

"You can just forget about this whole thing if you're going to…"

"Fine. But we're still doing the pictures. I owe Sakura."

"I don't give a shit…!" Sakura's demeanor darkened, cutting off his objections. "O-okay. We'll do the pictures. He turned to Shino and Kiba who still stood in his entryway. "Could you guys, like, leave? It's really weirding me out have so many people here." He fidgeted nervously.

"Yeah… you all seem kinda busy right now.... I'll see you later Naruto!" Kiba called as he dashed out the door with Shino following him slowly. They stared after them for a moment before Sakura pulled out the camera and turned to the newly christened couple.

"Alright. Clothes off."

--

"We're never going to hear the end of this, you know that right?"

"Hn."

"Can I still become Hokage with that stuff floating around?! I'd better be able to, or you're going to PAY, teme!"

"Be quiet, Naruto. I'm busy."

"With what? Hey?! Are those our pictures?"

"I stole them from Sakura before she made copies. You happy, usuratonkachi?"

"Heh. Yeah. I guess so. What are you gonna do with them now? Shred 'em with shuriken? Burn 'em with Katon?"

"Enjoy them."

"What?"

"Why not? Ino's not that bad of a photographer."

"Are you kidding? That's like soft porn!"

"Starring us. So why would you care?"

"I don't know, it's just weird."

"I'm going to put them in a scrapbook."

"WHAT?!"

"For in the future when you're covered up all day and night by Hokage robes."

"… Sasuke…"

"Hm?"

"… I guess you can keep 'em."

"To put in a scrapbook. I'm a genius… except this one… I'm getting this one blown up and hung on the ceiling over my bed."

"Are you NUTS?!"

"Here. You can have this one."

"I don't want ANY of them, dumbass!"

OWARIMASU YO. Kakukoto ni arigatou gozaimashita, mina. Ja mata.

PS- Flames: Bring 'em on. I look forward to it.