Chapter Twenty: The Dedication

It was Friday night when I saw Bella again. She was waiting up for me, I realised by the sound of her breathing. It was late, so I expected her to be asleep yet I found myself happier to find out that she was actually waiting for me.

Did she get the flowers?

Did she like them?

Would she mind that I would be coming to her school on Monday?

Did it matter to me?

Yes it did. It mattered yet not to the extent that I would stop. I had done the right thing for too long, this time I wanted to do the selfish thing. I was going to get what I wanted. And I wanted her.

--

I did not enter her room; instead I let my feet fall on the inside as I sat on her window. The breeze blew in and though I did not feel it, I knew it was cold. Bella sat in the middle of her bed, like the many times I had seen her, wearing sweats this time, which I presumed was because she was cold. Yet she had not closed the window. The sweats were blue and immediately, I remembered a vision Alice had shown me before.

I shook the thought of out my mind and decided not to think about Alice right now. My thoughts were on Bella only.

She held the white roses I had sent over in both her hands, cradling it slightly.

So she had received them.

She did not look up at me, though I knew she had acknowledged my presence. Very slowly, deliberately, Bella picked out one of the roses from the bouquet of many and set the others to the side.

"He loves me", she whispered, pulling at a flower petal. It tugged off and she placed it on her palm before blowing it to the side. The petal floated to the floor.

"He loves me not." Another petal was pulled off and fell to the floor.

I frowned in my confusion but I did not interrupt whatever she was doing. Her scent was bullying me too much. The burn in my throat hissed out and I stopped breathing, just to stop the pain. Although I had hunted before, during the day, a room full of Bella and nothing but the scent of Bella did not do a vampire any good.

When I focused back to her, I realised that she was still plucking away at the petals, whispering softly under her breath. When she had reached the last two petals, I finally realised what she was doing.

"He loves me not..."

The petal floated to the ground.

"He loves me", she whispered, taking the last petal and placing it in her palm. Instead of blowing it away like she did with the others, she closed her hand firmly and finally looked up at me.

"You were debating my affections for you using the petals of a rose flower?" I asked her, the words coming out harsher than I intended. She bit her bottom lip, at least having the decency to look sheepish about it.

"You sent them, Edward."

"So you doubt my love for you?" I demanded her, finally moving from my place. How many times did I have to tell this stupidly beautiful girl how much I truly loved her? Did she not know that the way I felt had never been felt before? And that it would never change? Not even if I wanted it to.

How many times did I have to tell her?

How many times would I have to tell her?

As many times as she wanted to hear it...

"How can I not doubt it?" Bella whispered, bringing her knees to her chest. She took in a deep breath. "Can vampires even love? Is that possible...for your kind?"

My kind...

"Yes", I said curtly, my patience wearing thin. "I'm pretty sure the fact of my affections is the reason that I haven't sunken my teeth into one of your veins and drained your body dry of blood. The fact that I've fallen in love with you is the reason why I would never, ever do anything to harm you, Bella."

Her brown, doe eyes were glassy and I reached out to her, sitting on the side of the bed. Hesitantly, the back of my right hand brushed against her cheeks. A beautiful rosy colour painted up her neck and I inhaled slowly. Her scent was beautiful.

Painful, but always worth it.

"I warned you", I began softly, "did I not warn you before that I was not what you thought I was? Did I not tell you what you were getting yourself into, Bella? Are you mad at me for being who I am?"

"No", she whispered, shaking her head furiously, "no, Edward. I'm not mad. I promise, I'm not mad. I'm just...I don't understand, Edward."

A crystal, salty tear slipped from the corner of her eyes and trailed down her cheek. I caught it halfway on her skin and brushed it away. Bella moved her hand from around her knees and stretched out her legs. She cupped my hands into hers, moving it so that my thumb was gently brushing against her lips. The rose petal was released.

"I don't understand", she whispered, in a strained voice.

"You don't need to", I told her, leaning my forehead against hers. I loved how my fingers were slowly trailing all over her face, guided by herself. She moved closer and placed her head on my shoulder. I gathered her in my arms, holding her securely against me.

I should be doing this everyday.

Just holding her, just touching her and knowing that she was mine; it brought the most relief I had ever had in my entire years of being a vampire.

"I love you Bella and you love me to", I whispered. She did not correct me so I carried on. "I can love, and I do love. Never doubt that, because that's all you need to understand. And I don't care if you're a human. It matters not if I'm a vampire; I'm yours...will you be mine, Bella? Mine and no one else's?"

She looked up at me, her lips parted. Without waiting for an answer, I leaned forwards – unable to stop myself – and just lightly pressed my lips against hers. She inhaled against my lips softly before pushing forwards to deepen the kiss.

Her hands and fingers were in my hair, holding me closer, bringing me closer so that our lips would never separate again. My eyes were squeezed shut as I moaned into her mouth, placing my hands on her waist as she pulled herself to her knees. Her chest was soft and warm compared to my cold and hard body.

She was the complete opposite of me yet I knew there and then that no other had ever been as compatible as Bella and I were. We fit perfectly. Her warmth for my coldness. Her soft skin for my impenetrable hard skin. Her small feminine figure for my large masculinity.

We broke apart, though I wanted to do nothing of the sort, for the sake of breathing. I didn't need the air and my lips never left her skin for that matter, licking and tasting the deliciousness that made my throat burn so much.

Bella was breathless, whispering my name and brushing her lips against my ears as I kissed down her neck and on her collarbone. She moved so that her knees were on either side of my lap and she was straddling me. Her fingers ran through my hair gently as she rested her chin on my shoulder. I brought my lips to her cheek and inhaled her scent slowly.

The burn was painful, but her fragrance was the perfect distraction from that.

"I want to", Bella whispered, her voice shaking, "I want to be yours, Edward. But how do...Edward, I've never been...obviously not with a vampire before. I don't want to screw up."

"It's okay to screw up", I told her, slightly trying to convince myself in the process, "you just learn from the mistakes."

"I've already screwed up", she disagreed, speaking quickly. "You tell me what you are and I immediately presume the worst for us."

"Then don't be so quick to doubt me in the future", I whispered gently. "I want nothing but to be with you. Complications do not matter, Bella. I will give you everything I can, as long as you do no more than to love me in return."

She fell asleep like that, her arms around my neck with a grip which was quite tight for a human. Her body was leaning against mine with her head resting on one of my shoulders. Her face was turned so that her breath tickled my neck. The front of her body was meshed up against mine, no complaints from me there.

I didn't want to move her, in case she stirred and woke up but the beautiful heat and fragrance got a bit too much after a while. Carefully, I placed Bella back in her place in the middle of the bed. I lay down next to her, smiling faintly when she instantly turned and wrapped her arms around me. Like she didn't want to let go even in her consciousness.

I clung to her, equally as tight and eager.

--

--

I did nothing but hold on to Bella.

The bliss of the moment swelled up inside of me until I was smiling a big cheesy grin at a sleeping form and an empty room. Maybe it was because I had finally realised that I wasn't alone anymore. I wouldn't be wandering the earth aimlessly anytime soon. Maybe I would move in permanently with the Cullens.

Maybe it was because I had never felt something like this, and that I realised all the clichés about love was actually true. Your stomach really did turn pleasantly when you were next to her. You really did nothing but smile when you finally realised she was the one. She really did leave you breathless, eager and begging for more.

About an hour before the sun finally threatened to rise, I got up, making sure that Bella was still asleep. After wrapping her up with the blanket and convincing myself that she wouldn't roll over and hurt her arm – or any of her limbs for that matter – by falling off the bed, I decided to head out.

I jumped straight out of the window, instead of scaling down. Everyone was sleeping and no one would see me. As soon as my feet softly touched the ground, I began to run.

I hunted first – because with Bella it was better to be safe than sorry – making sure that my thirst was completely dulled down. Afterwards, I headed back to the Cullen household to change my clothes and get what I needed.

Esme and Carlisle greeted me first – mostly because they had been talking about me and I caught it in their thoughts – but I merely headed upstairs to the guest room Alice had suggested I occupy myself in whilst visiting the Cullens.

"Thank you", I murmured to Carlisle, knowing fully when he could hear it. He desperately tried to keep a block on his thoughts about my relationship with Bella. Though since he had been talking about it earlier, the conversation with Esme leaked out. "Thank you also, Esme. I also believe that Bella will do me good."

Rosalie, Emmett and Alice were not present for which I did not concern myself too much with. Jasper hovered into my room after me, heading straight to my drawer and pulling out the two items that I had really come here for.

Alice must've told him, I decided. Then made a mental note to thank her for getting Rosalie out of the house. I was not in the mood to listen to obnoxious comments.

Alice sees you leaving. Jasper looked at me meaningfully. No doubt he was sifting through my emotions so see what I was feeling. He frowned, finding nothing that would indicate any signs of departure.

Neither did I

"Alice is wrong", I muttered quietly, "I have no intention of leaving. I am content as I am right now. You and I both know that, Jasper."

"She doesn't when", he replied, it could be in the future. A few weeks, perhaps? "She saw it. She said she did."

I shrugged it off. "Does not matter right now. But thank you, I appreciate your concern for me."

"It isn't only for you, Edward", Jasper muttered quietly, "Alice will be more than distraught if you leave. Not to mention Esme. She considers you her son like Alice considers you her brother. It will no doubts affect Emmett, Rosalie and Carlisle too."

"Rosalie?" I raised an eyebrow. A faint smile tugged at his lips.

"Maybe not so much for Rosalie."

"Like I said, it matters not since I'm not leaving", I insisted, "Alice's visions change."

"Bella would be hurt", he added. I met her. She was very much confused. Somehow her emotions weren't as hectic as one would think a teenage girl in her situation would be. Yet the confusion was still there.

"When did you meet her?" I asked, clearing my throat when I realised how possessive the question sounded.

"Yesterday. At the local library", Jasper answered, smiling, "Alice is planning on bringing Esme and Carlisle there too since you're taking too long to let them meet your mysterious girl."

I groaned softly in frustration.

"Hold her back, won't you? I'm getting to that bit", I said, taking the two velvety boxes from his hands. "Alice's planning will contradict with mine. Thank her on my behalf anyway."

She says thank you. He laughed.

Of course, Alice knew I would ask Jasper to thank her.