Title: Ninety-Nine Bottles And Counting
Pairing: Sakura/Karin, mild Sasuke/Sakura.
Disclaimer: I own nothing.
Notes: BAHAHAHA TAKE THAT SASUKE YOU DUMBASS. What I'm not mad about the latest manga chapter, no, not at all FACK. KARIN AND SAKURA BONDING GOOOO. This is complete crack, by the way. Do not take it seriously. And Karin still bothers the crap out of me.

Sakura was hiding in one of the corner booths, taking small sips of her drink, when Naruto leaned around her and waved at Sasuke. She didn't look up, just crossed her legs in her too-short skirt, the material sliding up over thighs, and tucked some of her hair behind one ear. Naruto's arm was across her shoulders, tightening ever so slightly as Sasuke made to sit down across from them. She knew then that he wasn't alone.

"Hey, pretty lady," Suigetsu said, sliding in next to her. He smiled, slightly predatory, and mimicked Naruto, arm settling over her shoulders. Naruto bared his teeth and pulled her closer to his side. Suigetsu sneered. "Relax, Blondie. I'm not going to maul her."

Across from them, Sasuke looked on with his cool, calculating gaze. Juugo was at the hospital still – Tsunade had been personally taking care of his cursed seal for him for hours at a time – so the only person left was Karin.

She came barrelling out of the crowd not a minute after Sakura realized she was missing, panting slightly.

"Sasuke-kun!" she said with a pout. "You left me behind."

"Hn," Sasuke said, and stared at the ceiling. Karin squeezed in next to him in her tiny black shorts and tank top, and clung to his arm. Sakura watched in mild interest as Sasuke moved over, trying to put space between them. Karin took it as an invitation to sit next to him and hooked her leg over his thigh. Sakura felt her boot brush the inside of her calf.

"I don't know why you insist on sitting here," she sniffed, staring quite pointedly at Naruto and Sakura. "There are empty booths in the back, you know."

"I doubt he wants to be alone with you anywhere, freak," Suigetsu drawled, stealing Sakura's drink. Karin reached across the table to hit him, and Sakura noticed Sasuke take the opportunity to edge away from her. She turned and smiled into Naruto's shoulder.

Naruto looked down at her, curious. "Sakura-chan?"

"Don't worry," she said, lips curving. "I'm just trying not to laugh."

Karin stopped and turned to glare at her. "And just what the hell do you think is so funny, Pinkie?"

Sakura shrugged. "You."

Karin's eyes flashed, hard and fierce. "And why's that?"

Sakura's smirk just the right amount of dangerous when she said, "Don't you ever get sick of rejection?"

Karin's resounding shriek rivalled the bar's music in volume, and Sakura couldn't help but beam as Naruto squeezed her, chuckling, and Sasuke looked at her with that same vaguely interested look he'd been shooting her for the past four months.

"You bitch," Karin snarled, on her feet. Her hands curled into fists and her shoulder were tight, uncontrolled rage barely suppressed. "You'd know all about rejection, wouldn't you? I don't think anyone would want to date your ugly ass."

Naruto started, and Sasuke shifted. Suigetsu opened his mouth, but Sakura beat him to it.

"I could say the same to you," she replied blithely, her smile easy and uncaring. "Maybe we should settle this dispute the old fashioned way."

"Mud wrestling?" Naruto suggested, leering.

"Naked mud wrestling?" Suigetsu added, eyes sharp and teeth exposed. He paused, then added, "But only on your part."

Sakura shook her head, ignored the warning glance Sasuke shot her, and said, "Drinking contest."

Karin sneered at her. "Pinkie, you wouldn't be attractive even if I drank all the sake this side of the Fire Country."

"We'll see," Sakura said, lacing her voice with enough temptation to keep Karin interested, and slid across Suigetsu's lap so she could stand. "I hope you can hold your liquor."

"Better than you," Karin snarled, smoothing out her shirt as she rose. Sakura rolled her eyes and swatted at the hands playing with the hem of her skirt. "Slut."

Sakura grinned. "Just because I'm getting more action than you ever will --"

"Shut up," Karin snapped. "You better be a quiet drunk. You're obnoxious enough as is."

"On that note," Sakura said, twisting her way between dancers, arms above her, hair twirling as she spun. "How do you manage to live with yourself?"

Karin followed her, cheeks flushed, hair mussed, and an inch of pale, flat stomach exposed between the top of her shorts and the bottom of her shirt. Sakura watched her from under her lashes and kept swaying through the crowd, running her tongue along her bottom lip as she approached the bar. Behind her, the boys looked on.

"This," Naruto said, "is definitely going to end with naked mud wrestling."

"Fuck yes," Suigetsu breathed.

Sasuke kicked both of them under the table.

Somewhere between Karin's sixth shot and Sakura's third glass of vodka, they ended up in one of the bathroom stalls.

"This doesn't mean anything," Karin panted, as Sakura's tongue slid along her collarbone. She was leaning against the wall, and Sakura had one knee braced against the side of the toilet. Her fingers kept dragging up and down her sides. "I still don't like you."

"I don't expect you to like me after this," Sakura said blithely, lips moving against the other girl's neck. She looked up at her, bangs dishevelled, lips red and eyelashes lowered. Karin swallowed hard, put a hand on the back of her neck. "I expect you to love me."

"You're hilarious." Karin arched as Sakura's fingers moved from her sides to her stomach, her touch light and teasing. "Bitch."

"Admit it," Sakura drawled, mouth against her ear. "I kiss way better than Sasuke-kun."

"I, uhm, ngh," Karin moaned, pulling Sakura's head up and slanting her mouth over hers. She bit down on her lower lip, pressed their teeth together. "I wouldn't, ah, know. He hasn't kissed me yet – shit!"

Sakura pulled her hand out of Karin's shorts and grinned. She looked a little feral. Karin's head dropped to her neck and her mouth opened against her shoulder. "Sasuke-kun's emotionally retarded. He's nevergoing to kiss you if he hasn't already."

Karin was gasping now, fingers scrambling up Sakura's back to the zipper on her dress. "I thought you loved him."

"I do," Sakura mumbled, pulling Karin's tank top down enough to bite the top of her breast. "But a girl's got needs too, you know."

Karin's leg hooked around her waist, her boot digging into the back of her legs as she pulled the zipper down and ran her fingers across Sakura's spine. "So, what, you make a habit out of seducing drunken girls who don't like you in bars? I knew you were a whore."

Sakura snickered and slid her hand up the inside of Karin's bare thigh. "Not just, ah, any drunk girl."

"Good thing I'm not drunk then," Karin mused, even as she slurred the last bit. Sakura grinned into her skin, unbuttoned her shorts, and kissed her, hard and fast, all tongue and teeth and bruising lips.

"Yeah," she said, as the bathroom door squeaked open. "Good thing."

She was tugging at the hem of Karin's shorts when a voice called out. "Sakura-chan?"

"Shit," Karin breathed, her hand still on Sakura's ass. "It's the blond idiot."

"Don't insult Naruto," Sakura snarled, dragging her teeth down Karin's neck. Karin whimpered. "Yeah, Naruto?"

"Oh, you are in here!" He sounded almost relieved. "Have you seen Four-Eyes anywhere? We can't find her."

Karin shriek of outrage was muffled by Sakura's lips. When she pulled back, she said, "Nope, sorry Naruto! I out-drank her and she stormed off. Maybe she went back to her apartment?"

"Without her precious Sasuke?" They heard him snort. "I doubt it. She's probably prowling around right now, looking for a chance to jump him."

"Maybe," Sakura chirped, smiling brightly at the brooding girl in front of her. "You should probably go warn Sasuke-kun, then. God forbid he gets any action tonight."

Naruto guffawed. "Oh, man, Sakura-chan, I am so telling him you said that."

"Go right ahead," she said, fingernails scraping Karin's hipbone. "I'll be out in a bit. Now get out of the girl's bathroom, you pervert."

"Fiiiine," he whined. The door slammed shut behind him. Karin pushed Sakura's hands away and started readjusting her clothing. Sakura's eyebrows rose.

"What are you doing?"

"They're expecting you, aren't they," Karin snapped, scowling. "Wouldn't want to keep your precious fans waiting."

"Oh, take a chill pill," Sakura said, rolling her eyes and pulling Karin's shorts down easily. "I wouldn't be in here if I didn't want to be. I'm sober, remember?" She knelt and licked the three inches of skin between the bottom of Karin's shirt and the top of her panties. "They can wait."

Karin fisted her hands in her hair. "I still hate you."

"Don't care," Sakura muttered, and moved down.

"Well?" Suigetsu said, as Naruto approached their table. "Did you find them?"

Naruto beamed. "Sakura-chan's in the bathroom. She said Karin stormed off after their drinking contest thing and might've gone home."

Suitgetsu eyed him warily. "Yeah?"

"Yeah," Naruto said, sliding in next to Sasuke. "So you know they're totally doing it in the stall right now."

Sasuke choked on his drink, almost unnoticeably. "What."

Naruto smirked at him and stole his glass. Suitgetsu looked on, amused. "Yup. You missed out, you bastard. Sakura still loves you to pieces, but even girls in love have got, you know, urges. And I guess Karin's kind of hot? In a weird, annoying, bitchy librarian sort of way."

"Sakura's hotter," Suigetsu supplied, watching Sasuke's hand twitch. "Don't know why she'd go after a crazy like Karin."

"Sakura-chan has a thing for crazy, I think," Naruto said, scratching his cheek absently. "I mean, c'mon, she's been in love with this," he jerked his head towards Sasuke, "emotionally retarded idiot – her words, not mine – for like, six years."

"It's always the –"

"I'm leaving," Sasuke said abruptly. "Move, dumbass."

Naruto leered at him. "Aw, what's a matter Sasu-chan?" He batted his eyelashes. "Don't you want to get in on the bathroom action? I'm sure Sakura-chan and Bitchy McBitcherson would let you join."

"You're disgusting," Sasuke muttered, and shoved Naruto out of the booth. "I'll see you tomorrow."

When he was just within hearing range, Naruto leaned over towards Suigetsu and said, rather loudly, "Oh, man, tomorrow during training, I am totally asking Sakura-chan where she got her hickies from."

A minute later, the bar's door swung slowly on only one hinge.