What Might Have Been
Ah… the flora in this area was beautiful. It was late spring, and most of the flowers were now in bloom, the sakura trees already dropping their petals. Ah, such memories it brought. A peach tree, in a secluded glade, which had stopped flowering a few years back. An old pond, almost overgrown within the later years. And, oh, the fireflies…
A man in his late thirties, quiet and contemplative, stood in the middle of the village's main park, green eyes surveying the bustle behind dark glasses. On his shoulder, getting quite the attention, was a wizened, graying, old feline, still trying to strike of conversation with passersby.
"Heeey, nice to meet you. Got a little kitty at home?"
"Puffs, knock it off."
"Sorry."
The feline, had she not been suffering from arthritis in her old age, would have jumped down and scampered off in pursuit of something more fun to do. Instead, her tail curled up and around the red hair covering the back of the man's neck. It wasn't that what she was doing was wrong, it was that the man knew what she was searching for. And you know what? Kagerou didn't blame her. He took a stop at an old bench, a bench where, long ago, in the pouring rain, he had come to realize something. Love wasn't something Rou was foreign to, not by a long shot, but it was enough to make his world come crashing down.
Puffs jumped onto the bench when he sat, hissing a little with her thump on the wood. She shook her head, the hitai-ate around her neck shaking ominously. She coughed. Kagerou scratched her behind the ears, and looked around the park.
---
Sure I think about you now and then
But it's been a long, long time
I've got a good life now, and I've moved on
So when you cross my mind…
---
Kagerou spotted a flash of violet hair across the way. There weren't many people in Konoha with that shade of hair color. In fact, he could name two he'd ever met off the top of his head. Chime, and… Yami. Her face, bright indigo eyes shining, crossed his mind. She was the one Puffs was looking for. The poor thing… seventeen years of age… was nearly blind. Scent alone was what kept her vigilant. The scent of jasmine… It had been so long ago. Fifteen years since they had really talked. Kagerou closed his eyes.
---
I try not to think about what might have been
Cause that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
---
Alcohol was the cause of the whole issue. That, and a nurse. Kagerou could never forget her name. Shibire Kusuri. Rou never made it a point to contact her after that, only working with her on missions when necessary. Ah… the last full conversation they ever had… not even that…
-
"Just look underneath the underneath, Rou... I care for you more than you think I do. In a way... I think that I might lo-"
She turned heel and walked back slowly. What? He watched as she turned, and shook his head in a futile attempt to free the pooling water from his face. Rou's head throbbed, and he pushed away from the lamp post, calling out, speaking as she walked away.
"You might what, Yami? You might love me!? Is that what this is? Love!?"
Love... Kagerou didn't realize he was yelling until he heard his voice reverberate through the deserted streets. Damn this alcohol... His balance failed him again, and Rou took a step back, putting a hand on the pole. His voice stopped her, and her volume rose in defense.
"How dare you…" Her voice was quiet, but not for too long… "How DARE you?! No, Kagerou, I don't love you; I adore explaining myself to people in the pouring rain, I like being caught doing something that I didn't want to happen, I love being beat down by people like you. I don't want you to not hate me, I don't want you to know how I feel, and I don't want us to make up at some point.
"And why? Because the one ignorant, self-righteous bastard that I've ever allowed myself to be close to is you…and you know what? I still don't regret anything, Aburame Kagerou. Not letting you in, not standing here in the rain, nothing." Her voice dropped to a low whisper, her eyes glimmering with unshed tears while the rain cut paths down her face in their place. She would not cry in front of him anymore, she would be strong. She turned to leave, but…
His face turned solemn. No... he didn't want to fight. Not truly...
"And hate you? That's one thing... I'll never be able to do."
Her breath caught in her throat for a moment, and she angled her head over her shoulder to see his face. The expression was heartbreaking; she had never seen him look so hurt in all of the time that they'd spent together. She closed her eyes so that she wouldn't see the expression; trying to find something, anything that would be comforting to say…but nothing came. She let out a shaky sigh before speaking.
"Kagerou…you say that now, but maybe… maybe you were wrong about me."
-
His eyes stayed trained on the violet hair. No, Yami… I don't think I was… Was she happy now? The thought idly crossed Kagerou's mind as he surveyed, line of sight hidden by the dark lenses. She turned from the flowers she was looking at, and her gaze fell towards him. It had been fifteen years… and he still remembered the color of her eyes.
"…Nya? Dad, is that…?"
"…Yeah…"
A look of recognition filled her eyes at his dark glasses and red hair, and her eyes fell to the elderly cat sitting at full attention. Her hands went to her mouth, thinking of the old cat she had at home, the offspring of the very tabby she gazed at. Her own cat, Speckles, was fifteen. That would mean… her eyes spotted the familiar headband tied around the cat's neck. Puffs…and…Kagerou.
-
We can sit and talk about this all night long
And wonder why we didn't last
Yes, they might be the best days we will ever know
But we'll have to leave them in the past…
-
"Rou?"
Kagerou was already standing, holding his cat under one arm.
"Hello, Yami. Nice to see you again. Beautiful as ever."
He smiled warmly with his compliment. She had almost forgotten his rather blunt way of speaking, always complimenting people. He was one of the few people to sincerely call her beautiful back then. She smiled in return.
"Thank you. It's been a while, hasn't it?"
"Yami?"
The woman looked down at the cat in Rou's arms, taking her gently.
"What? No 'Yami-nya'?"
Kagerou laughed.
"She grew out of saying that years ago. You've missed a lot."
"Mhm. How'd those genin work out for you?"
She scratched the elderly nin-cat behind the ears, eliciting the same rumbling purr. Kagerou pointed out to a threesome group a ways off. Two boys and a girl, one boy and one girl with a chuunin vest.
"They were mine. They're well on their way to being jounin now. My help isn't needed anymore."
Puff's grey (the bright green faded with her age) eyes narrowed at the bug nin.
"Dad…"
"Kagerou?"
"…"
What to say? He had no idea. It was different now. He knew they were skirting around a touchy subject. There was no anger anymore.
"Have you ever wondered, what would have happened…?"
"Back then?"
The cat squirmed, and was put down gently. She loped off, flopping into the sunshine-warmed grass. Yami received a nod.
"Sometimes. You know, no matter what we think now… we can't…"
"I know."
"…Go back…"
Ah, the old days. Yami remembered them well. It was all in good fun. All he needed was to loosen up. At least, that's how she felt. But… it was because of her… that it didn't work. She had loved him. And then broke it. It was her fault.
"You know, I don't blame you."
He could see the look in her eye; the look that she always had when she felt she was at fault.
"I know."
Puffs' tail curled.
-
And try not to think about what might have been
Because that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
-
Puffs heard them first. The chirping of the crickets. It was getting late in the afternoon. Mizuka would be coming soon to find him. She got up, stretching, and some old bones popped. It was getting close to time to go home.
It was sketti night.
The pair of humans remained silent, trying not to reminisce. It was so much different now. Things weren't the same as when they were, let's face it, kids. There may have been something, back then. But, they'll never know, will they?
-
That same old look in your eyes
It's a beautiful night
I'm so tempted to stay
But too much time has gone by
We should just say goodnight
And turn and walk away
-
Kagerou stroked his thumb across her cheek. Her eyes held a soft expression.
"I should get going… I have someone to meet."
Rou nodded. It was a shame, really. What she had; her relationships hadn't been solid since. It was saddening, but there was nothing he could do about it. As a firefly twinkled, one of the first of the late evening, he was reminded of the night that she had found Puffs, and she stayed for dinner. So long ago, now. She smiled, and they embraced before parting ways. The nin-cat found her way on to his shoulder, solemnly watching the woman leave.
"We'll never see her again, will we Dad?"
"…Probably not, Puffs."
"Mreow."
-
And try not to think about
What might have been
Because that was then
And we have taken different roads
We can't go back again
There's no use givin' in
And there's no way to know
What might have been
-
"Rou?"
The man looked up, hearing the feminine voice behind him. Green eyes med a set of odd-colored.
"Zuka?"
She came around the tree, and held his arm, watching the woman disappear up the lane.
"Who was that, Rou?"
He ruffled her hair, and the pair began to leave. He didn't look back.
"Just…"
-
No we'll never know…
-
"…an old friend."
-
What might have been.
A/N: Been a while, hasn't it guys? And this one isn't even characters you recognize. o:
Aburame Kagerou and Puffs both belong to me. Kousei Yami belongs to Sakura (I don't remember her PenName). Mizuka belongs to… Mizuka (she doesn't have a FanFiction account). Shinsen Chime belongs to some guy that almost didn't let me use the name. :P Sorry, Chime! I'm just picking on you. And Shibire Kusuri belongs to a kid who calls himself "Spoon". When I find out why his name is Spoon, I'll let y'all know.
Formalities aside… Minus Mizuka, these are all characters from a role play forum called "World of Naruto". Mizuka is from smaller RPs, and mainly a chat RPer.
Hope you guys liked the story. ^^
P.S: I put coding tags in as I typed this story up so it would be formatted for posting on the forum. There might be random coding tags scattered around.
~Cougar