I sighed, pushing away my math book and slumping down in my chair. I wanted to go downstairs and watch television with Sodapop, instead of doing my homework. But Darry had been in a terrible mood when he came home. He'd sank down in the couch and grumbled for me to go do my homework if I "wanted to live to see 10th grade." What bugged me the most was how nice he always was to Soda, when he constantly pushed me away. I wanted to sock my happy-go-lucky, gorgeous brother when I heard him laughing from the livingroom. Why did he get to sit with Darry and be happy?

"Ponyboy!" Darry called from down the hall. He was all alone in there with Sodapop. He liked Sodapop. For some reason, the thought of Darry being closer with him made me green with envy. Why was I so jealous of Soda? Most of the time, it wasn't his looks; except when I caught Darry staring idly at him. That made me jealous. But why? I didn't really know. I also didn't know how to explain the multiple mind-blowing dreams I'd had about Darry. I told myself that I couldn't control my dreams; besides, I was fourteen. I was bound to have some wacky hormones.

"What, Darry?" I shouted back, with more than just a bit of an edge to my voice.

"Done yet?" He sounded annoyed. Why did Darry always have a problem with me? What about Soda? Was he a saint; could he do no wrong? I glanced at the clock; 9:46. I'd been procrastinating longer than I thought. When Soda got home around 4:00, we'd made and ate dinner together and then goofed off until Darry got home. I guess this sort ofwas my fault; I should have started my homework a long time ago. I heard footsteps in the hall and then Darry was leaning against the doorway looking tired as hell.

"Not yet," I mumbled, not wanting to look him in the eye.

"For Pete's sake, Ponyboy! Couldn't you have started earlier?" he scolded, and it was like everything he'd ever bugged me about weighed on me until I exploded. I stood up so abruptly that the legs of the chair I'd been sitting in screeched against the floor and finally the chair tumbled down. I whirled around to face Darry, my hands balled into fists. I was so out of control that I don't think I could have stopped myself if I tried.

"What the hell do you want from me? I'm doing by best, Darry! Damn it! How come you never get mad at Soda, huh? Am I just the problem child? Why don't you just fucking get rid of me... it'd be easier on you." I felt tears prickling at my eyes, and then in no time, my chest was heaving and I was bawling. I sank to my knees and burried my face in my hands, scared to death of what Darry would do to me for yelling like that. He'll resent me even more, I reasoned. But then I relt a hand on my back and I was pulled into Darry's hard, toned chest. I buried my face up against him; he smelled faintly of cologne, and for some reason that made me feel secure.

"Shh... calm down, baby," he whispered, rubbing my back. I awkwardly wrapped my arms around my older brother, feeling like such a stranger. Finally I felt Darry lift and carry me bridal style; to where, I didn't know, because my face was still buried in the front of his black shirt. I heard his heart pounding and felt his muscles tense around me, and suddenly I felt electricity; you know the kind I mean. The kind you hear about in a sappy romance novel, when the two characters who've been secretly in love throughout finally kiss. Sparks. That kind of thing.

When I finally felt Darry sit down, I cracked open one eye and looked around. We were in Darry's room.

"Lay down, little brother," Darry ordered, but in a soft tone. Wide-eyed an red in the face, I leaned back onto Darry's pillow and looked up at him. His eyes darted back and forth, as if he was trying to figure out what to say to me. "You okay?" he finally asked, eyes still searching. They didn't look so cold; he actually looked concerned and maybe even a little bit... hurt?

"I'm fine," I squeaked, feeling my cheeks grow hot at the sound of my voice cracking. Darry didn't look convinced.

"Would you mind sleeping here? I'm kind of worried about you," Darry said softly, which was rare for him. My heart started pounding, for some reason, at the prospect of sharing a bed with Darry. I'd love to...

"Yeah, okay," I whispered, crawling under the sheets.

"And you're sure there's nothing you need to tell me about?" Darry didn't budge from his spot on the edge of the mattress. Just that I get adrenaline rushes when you hold me...

I nodded, biting my lip.