New story, enjoy!

Prologue

I looked at the rising sun and smiled. Today was going to be a good day. I no longer took good days for granted, and I no longer despised the bad ones. They were just a part of life, and any part of life I could have was fine with me.

I didn't have very many days of any type left.

Six months earlier

I stared at the doctor uncomprehendingly for a second and then glanced at my dad. He had an expression that must have matched mine. "What does that mean?" he asked the doctor.

"It means Mr. Swan, that Bella has a rare type of cancer. It's called T-cell prolymphocytic leukemia. T-PLL for short. It's hard to treat but we have a few options…" He kept talking but I stopped listening. If this would have happened a year it would have been no problem at all. A year ago I would've been made immortal. Now that option was gone and I knew I had no hope of finding it again. He said it would be like he had never existed, and it was for the most part. But even he couldn't erase my memory of what could have been.

"If we do all that, the chemo and other treatments, if we can find a bone marrow donor, what are her chances of living a normal life?" My dad asked. This drew me back into the conversation. I wanted to know how long I had.

"Mr. Swan, Bella, I'm sorry, best case scenario is about five years." He has a kind face and I want to be mad but I can't get up the energy.

Five years of poison and hospital beds. Of needles and nausea. "And if I choose not to do anything?" I asked. Charlie's face went hard and he glared at me.

"Three months, six on the outside. Of those, you'll feel alright for maybe a month to four months."

I nodded and stood. "Thank you." I walked towards the door and opened it.

"Bella, what are you doing? Get back here, you heard the doctor, you need to be admitted." Charlie said gruffly.

"No dad, I need to go live while I can." I made it to my truck and all the way to La Push without breaking down. Jake bounded out of the woods clad only in shorts and a smile automatically graced my face. I got out of my truck and hugged Jake tightly.

Jacob had saved me, there was no other way to look at it. I had closed down and shut off when he had left me. I was alive but I wasn't living. Jake had helped me live again. It had started with the crazy stuff, the bikes and cliff diving. Anything to hear his voice. Eventually the voice had stopped, but by then it was too late. I was happy again. No not the same way I had been with him, but happy all the same.

Jake bent his head and captured my mouth with his. I let my arms wind around his neck and kissed him hard, throwing myself into it like I'd never let myself do before. Jake didn't miss my reaction.

He pulled away and looked down at me, "Bells what's wrong?" I grabbed his hand and pulled him towards the beach. I plopped down at the sand and watched the sun start to set.

"I'm dying."

Jake groaned, "Bells we've been over this before. You're not dying, you just might not live forever. I thought you were over this whole bloodsucker thing."

I smiled at him, "No Jake. I am dying. I have a rare form of Leukemia."

Jake looked at me for a minute, "that's not funny Bells."

"I'm not joking Jake." I tried to smile again but it was weak. I watched Jakes face change and he started shaking.

"So what fixes it?" I could tell he was trying to control himself but that he was having trouble.

I shook my head, "I could do a combination of chemo and other treatments, I would be sick, lose my hair. After that I would need a bone marrow transplant…but that's only if we could find a donor…which is hard. All of that could possibly give me five years."

"That's not…it's not enough. That can't be right," Jake was shaking harder now and I knew he would need to phase soon.

"It doesn't matter Jake. I'm not trying that. I want to live, not survive."

"What's that mean Bella?"

"It means that I'm going to die soon."

"You cannot give up Bella," Jake said, his voice was dangerously low. He was close to coming undone.

I knew it was odd for me to have accepted my fate so readily. I knew I should be angry, be in disbelief, something. But I wasn't. Who was I to argue with fate? Fate had brought me to Edward. It had brought me to Jake. I'd had my happiness and now it was time to move on.

"I'm not giving up Jake, but I don't want to die without living first. So I'm going to live as much as I can."

Jake was shaking violently now. "How long Bella?"

"If I'm lucky? Six months." Cloth exploded around me, I was glad he hadn't been wearing shoes. Billy was having a hard time replacing everything Jake reduced to shreds. Wolf Jake gave me a look and I nodded at him to go. He needed to get off the beach. He couldn't be seen, it would be very bad. He took off for the woods and I walked back to his house. Billy was waiting on the porch.

"Charlie called. I'm sorry Bella."

I gave Billy a hug. "I was never going to live forever Billy." Billy raised an eyebrow at me and I giggled, "Okay, maybe at one point it was a possibility." I sighed, "Jake didn't take it well. I'm going wait for him in his room, if that's okay?" Billy nodded and I made my way to Jake's tiny room.

I curled up on his bed. There was so much I wanted to do. A hundred things ran through my head and so I got up and grabbed a spiral notebook and pen from Jakes abandoned book bag. I flipped to a fresh page and started writing everything I wanted to do down, whether it was feasible or not.

I fell asleep after I finished my list and when I woke up the sun was down. Too much time wasted. I turned to see Jake lounging beside me, reading my list. I knew I should be embarrassed. Number five was, after all, to make love. Then there was number sixteen, get married. But I couldn't be embarrassed, not over the life I wanted to live.

"I'm going to do as many as I can," I said quietly. Jake looked up, somewhat startled.

"Hey Bells. Are you sure about this?" He held up the list with a sigh. "Couldn't you at least try the drugs and bone marrow thing?"

"No Jake. I want to spend whatever time I have left doing the things on that list. Not lying in some hospital bed too weak to move," I made sure my voice was firm. I knew that if I softened on this, even a little, I would be hooked up to machines in a heartbeat.

"Get a hold of them then. Make them change you."

I was shocked he'd even suggest it. "Even if I could Jake…he doesn't want me. You wouldn't want me. I couldn't see my family. That's not living anymore than what I'll be doing Jake. I should go home, check on my dad," I didn't want to leave Jake but I knew I needed to go. I pressed my lips to his quickly and moved to climb over him. He captured me and pulled me to him tightly.

"I love you Isabella Marie Swan. We'll start working on your list tomorrow."

"Thanks Jake. I love you too." I left Jake sitting in his room looking like his best friend had just died. The irony wasn't lost on me.

I left my truck and hopped onto my bike. A little recklessness wouldn't hurt now. I didn't think Charlie would complain. And if he did…well too bad.

I rode home a little too fast and found my dad still up, watching some stupid infomercial.

"Hey Dad."

"Are you okay Bella?"

"No, I'm dying."