A.N Sorry to make you guys wait so long, I'm sure you'll pick it up as ya
go along. (Basically in the last chap the pilots and Sally were told that
Wufei had died of a blood clot caused by the accident) Here's an extra long
chapter to make it up to ya, even though it's only long because I couldn't
decide where to cut it off ^^;; I couldn't decide for the life of me on a
name for the organisation I have mentioned in this chap....so I left it
blank to fill in at a later date.
The First To Fall By Ashy
*~ Chapter 7 ~*
"His records were confirmed last night, this is the Gundam Pilot 05, Wufei Chang. It's amazing those Preventers haven't closer tabs on their computer system. Hacking's easy if you know how," the wiry-haired gentleman chuckled.
"You reckon his comrades are going to fall for this, Sir? This blood clot business? And there's only so much this new drug can do to keep his heartbeat down....."
"Look here, you know what I am capable of, and you also know who I am, don't you?
"Yes Sir. Head of the ______ Organisation."
Julius looked at his selection of colleagues, clustered around Wufei's bedside. "Yes. And you also know what happens if you disobey your commander, don't you? I have waited so long for this oppurtunity, and it is obvious we have found the perfect candidate to execute our plans."
"Could be risky, a Gundam pilot. Couldn't we just use a regular former-Oz soldier or something? They're much easier to come by. Not as much sneaking around Sir, not as much risk-"
"Life's all about risks," came the husky reply. "And chances. It's all by chance this 'prize' dropped into our lap. MY lap. One day I'll have to personally thank that woman who so innocently made our plans possible. She'll take the blame, believe me. As head consultant here, I can do anything I like to the young man's records, I can even sign his life away."
A small chuckle pierced the atmosphere, and the other men present found themselves sweating with doubt.
"But Sir-" one spoke up, his eyes fixed on Wufei's inanimate form.
"DON'T accuse me of doing something wrong," his master retorted, exasperated. "A former Oz soldier? We need someone with much more skill than that. I have planned this ever since I can remember, don't even think about doubting me now."
"Sir, forgive me but if you don't mind me saying, I fear you think you have been a little too hasty in this manoeuvre - how will you convince his comrades?"
"Have you so little faith in me?"
"I think I speak for the group of us when I say we do not doubt you. But I don't think it is even beyond your knowledge that you- all of us, Sir are playing with fire here."
Julius was silent. "If you're not with me, Carlos, you're against me. And we wouldn't want that, would we?....no. Unlike most of the innocent civilians on this island, you know who I am don't you? Behind my profession, you know who I am."
"Yes, Sir."
"And soon enough, Chang Wufei is going to know of it too."
He snorted and pulled the bedclothes back over Wufei's sleeping face.
****
The door creaked painfully as Duo entered the small bedroom. He was sharing a room with Heero, but seeing as he didn't appear to be sleeping tonight, Duo sought some comfort in Quatre's company. Sally had left an hour ago for some 'fresh air' and still had not returned to the villa.
Heero and Trowa remained in the lounge, rigid in opposite armchairs in a tense, strained silence. They had been this way ever since Heero had stormed away from Duo's presense earlier on that day. Not one of the four had eaten, and Duo felt the empty churning sensation in his stomach, yet he felt too sick and dazed to eat.
Quatre's body lay huddled under his quilt, his muffled sobs barely audible. Duo couldn't bring himself to offer any words of comfort to his friend. It was just like Quatre to cry. Duo didn't particularly want to sleep, not mentally, but his body was exhausted and he felt it like a dull ache in his bones. Defeatedly, he crawled under his sheets and lay staring for a while at the ceiling. Cracks, lines, divisions.
Eventually, Duo couldn't stand the silence any longer. "You...you okay, Quatre?" he ventured, knowing the answer. But not talking to anyone made him feel worse.
"Mmm," was the blonde's reply, accompanied by more retching sobs. He wasn't okay. Far from it, in fact.
Duo reached out his hand and pulled Wufei's backpack onto his bed. Quatre turned on hearing the noise, and now Duo could clearly see how the Arabian's face was wet and streaked. His lustrous eyes were sore and bloodshot.
" What...are you doing with Wufei's bag?" Quatre choked out.
"Holding it."
Quatre wiped his eyes and watched as his companion wrapped his arms around the small backpack, cradling it close to his chest. "Duo...is it like....hugging him or something...?"
"I guess. It's just a bag. But it makes me feel better," Duo answered in a small, strained voice. "Don't look at me like that, Quatre, I'm not weird, it's just - it just helps, okay?"
Quatre nodded and turned away, too exhausted to cry anymore. He winced at the sound of Duo pulling down the zipper on the backpack. The braided teen delved into the bag, retrieving what his fingers ached for - the small engraved box. Pulling it out, he moved the bag aside and rolled onto his stomach, placing the box on the pillow in front of him. Quatre turned and sat up as the lid was wrenched open.
"Duo....what are you doing now?"
"Are you paranoid or something?" the American hissed back, then immediately felt a prick of guilt. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset Quatre further, his emotions were already delicate.
"You've got Wufei's private box," Quatre replied, his voice cracking. "Leave it, Duo. Heero told you to leave it."
Duo chose to ignore him. He so desperately wanted to read that letter. Slowly his fingers took hold of the folded piece of paper nestled inside the box. He flicked on the bedside lamp for better light to read in. His round violet eyes, oblivious to Quatre's anxious gaze, scanned over the words. Wufei's words to Sally. He'd obviously not given her the letter - it was dated weeks ago. Wufei's handwriting was agonisingly neat.
Sally,
I wanted to tell you in person to you what I have to say but as you well know, I often can't explain myself without becoming angry or rude. I doubt you would even want to listen, so that's the reason I wrote to you instead. Yes, I am aware it is cowardly to do so rather than face to face, but perhaps it might help me to write things down.
I know that right now you don't think I value you, that you think people only use you when they're in times of trouble, because you're so calm, and sensible, and strong beyond any woman I have come across since Nataku. I'm am not sure if this is the real reason you seem to distant lately, perhaps there is something else which you are not willing to discuss with me- and I don't demand that you do. But I want you to know I respect you with everything inside of me. And this is all very well, but I feel now as if the plain respect has turned into something else and I am not sure what it is or why it is there.
I want to apologise for my actions recently. I don't fully understand what it was which made me want to hold you and kiss you and do more things besides but I am truly sorry. I am glad you were angry with me because I realise it looked as if I was taking advantage. And I probably was, I should have stayed true to my sense of honour and virtue. I don't remember ever being this way over any woman before, not even my wife and I hate myself for it.
I will try my hardest never to do such a thing again. I hope you won't despise me forever for it because you're right, perhaps I acted selfish and immature. But normal life beyond the battle is hard and confusing and I just don't know how to act. I didn't want this to turn into a grovelling sort of letter but I suppose it should be because I am dishonourable and undeserving of your friendship.
I know these feelings I harbour are in some way wrong, but they're persistent and I find they only ever subside if I kiss you, that's why I do it. It's like an illness or something and it frightens me. I don't understand it, or how to control it. But if it continues, I will do the honourable thing and resign from my position in the Preventer Organisation.
----- Wufei.
Duo's jaw trembled and his scrunched the letter up in his palm, then flung it at the wall in a gesture of anger. Quatre sat bolt upright in bed, his expression of woe quickly replaced by shock.
"Duo...that letter...what...what...was it?" he ventured, his voice quavering.
"Nothin'. Just a load of crap," Duo snorted, his throat tightening. He arranged his face into a sneer, shaking with violent anger.
"What....did it say," Quatre inquired. "Who was it to?"
"Just Wufei writing a load of crap to Sally Po," Duo snarled, as his lip curled. "Saying he's got some illness that makes him want to kiss her. It's sick!
"Duo. It's not- "
"No! You're right- it's not Wufei's fault. Sally Po. She's the one who's sick, not him! What's she been doing to our Wufei to make him like this? All drippy and sappy and miserable? That cradle-robber- "
"Stop!" Quatre commanded, his voice raising. "Insulting her won't help, Duo! It doesn't help things, it just winds you up! Shall I get Heero?"
"What do I wanna talk to that robot for? Ya think he's gonna give me a hug, make everything all right? Make Wufei come back?"
"Duo......stop it...."
"......because we all know how Heero is the 'Perfect Soldier' the perfect person....just so multi-talented and...." Duo's words oozed sarcasm. But there was the distinct evidence of tears in his eyes.
"I just meant-"
"How come everyone thinks Heero can make everything right?" Duo growled, shielding his face from Quatre's view. "Call me jealous, but I just hate the way people think he's so flawless. If Heero was so cool and collected....why does he act so weird these days? I don't think he's perfect....far from it. I don't."
"Weird? Of course he's acting weird.....our dear comrade Wufei has just passed away," the Arabian replied gravely. Quatre felt a sharp pain sear his heart once more when the situation was vocalised.
"Anyway, Heero's nothing to do with Wufei's death, is he? It's Sally Po. Sally....man I thought she was so reliable, and good. What the hell was she doing playing tonsil tennis with Wufei?!" Duo frowned deeply. "Quatre, your heart's probably better, and purer than mine. You're better with heart stuff. So tell me, what was she doing? What was he doing....why did he think he was ill?"
The young blonde man climbed out of his bed and padded softly to where the letter lay on the carpet. He knelt down and picked it up, smoothing it out over his knees. Once he'd read it, Quatre stood to his feet. His blond hair glowed eerily in the lamp light and his aqua eyes glistened with tears. "Duo - Wufei wasn't ill. It doesn't sound like he was ill at all. I think he...was in love with her - "
"Love? With her? That's crap!" Duo protested once again. "She's older. And he once told me he didn't even like Sally Po and wished he could have worked alongside Zechs Marquise because he's strong and capable and not a woman...."
"It's just like Wufei to say something like that," Quatre answered, clambering up onto Duo's bed and putting a soothing arm around his shoulders. "He never did like to admit to weakness. And when he said that, it was when you were teasing him about having a crush on Sally," he added, recalling.
"I was joking back then," Duo said bitterly. "Of course I never thought Wufei would ever *really* feel those things for her. Sally was....I dunno....like a mom to him. To all of us in a way. I can't believe after all this time she was getting up to tricks with our comrade! I used to think it would be funny....but it's not. Do you see me laughing? Do you see me laughing?"
"No..no Duo."
The two of them sank against each other, weary from grieving. Duo slackened into Quatre's embrace. It felt strange having Quatre comfort him. He felt wretched, and frustrated at how Wufei's death could have affected him so badly.
"Love her?" Duo whispered. "How does Wufei know what love feels like?"
"He doesn't," Quatre answered softly, smoothing away a teardrop. "That's why he wrote the letter. He's all confused. If you think about it, all five of us have been trained in battle, but we've never been taught how to love. We can only find our own interpretations of it. But then again, that's how it is for everyone."
"How is it that we're talking about Wu in the present tense? He's dead right?" Duo reminded Quatre, and also himself. It felt as if the whole thing just hadn't really registered in his mind.
"I know. I know," the Arabian spoke up woefully. " But it's like I feel he's still with us. Still a part of us somehow."
"You're being all poetic and sentimental," Duo replied, sighing. "What I wanna know is how could Wufei like women? It makes no sense. He never liked them, he always said they weren't worth the hassle."
"And then he met Sally..."
Duo shook his head defiantly. "I don't believe he loved Sally."
"Well he kissed her," Quatre replied quietly. "It says in the letter."
"I've kissed loads of girls," Duo retorted. "It didn't mean anything. Kisses aren't love."
Quatre paused. "Have you ever kissed Hilde?" he asked timidly.
"Have I heck!" Duo said defensively. "Hilde's a mate. That's all! I don't want anything to do with the love crap, look what it did to Wufei. Love and stuff - just complicates things."
There was a break in conversation as Quatre reached in his pyjama shirt pocket for a tissue to wipe his eyes. Duo's nose was running and he passed him one too. Duo hastily, wiped his nose, embarrassed, and resumed his frustrated rambling.
"Wufei - he was too young for Sally anyway," he declared. "She was just letting him experiment, you know - stringing him along and using him."
"You...you don't know that, Duo," Quatre answered. He began to stare into space again, rocking backwards and forwards to comfort himself. "We don't know the half of it."
"Doesn't matter. She's too old for him."
"He's nineteen. He's not a kid anymore. None of us are. Not you or me, or Trowa or Heero."
Duo buried his head in his hands and screwed his eyes tightly shut, imagining desperately that Never Never Land was a real place. A place where you Never Never grew up and held onto your childhood forever. A place where there was Never Never wars and soldiers and mobile suits. A place where the was Never Never romance which took away the essence of a friend's character, and above all, where there was Never Never death. He was afraid of death. Shinigami, the dauntless God of Death, was sick with fear. He couldn't share these thoughts with Quatre. He'd think he'd gone nuts. He probably had.
"Yeah well she's twenty-three."
"It's not that much of a gap."
"It is! It's a bloody huge gap!"
The braided pilot continued to curse, his expletives getting progressively more offending to his gentle friend.
"Duo....please....it upsets me when you swear," the younger said, though Quatre had heard his fellow friend use much worse obscenities than this. He was impressed Duo had managed thus far to bite them back. Sometimes Quatre's proper upbringing conflicted with Duo's, though usually he made an effort to understand.
"Lay off, Quatre. I need to, okay? Vent some anger, all the grief, all this stuff in my head."
Quatre hugged his friend closer and stroked his braid with pale fingers. "You said you'd try not to swear because you knew Father Maxwell....and God didn't like it...."
"I don't believe in God," Duo growled. "Not now. Maybe I used to. Or maybe I pretended to. But not now."
Quatre sighed heavily. "But you said you were going to trust in God. You said just because you haven't had a childhood, it didn't mean you had to robbed of a future. It made us all feel better. Don't you want to believe Wufei is in Heaven?"
"If God is real," Duo answered. "He wouldn't have let all that war happen. God's just like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. A nice idea." He laughed bitterly and said, "After all, I am Shinigami, the God of Death and I do not fear it, I don't need God. I don't need a crutch to lean on. I'm not afraid of dying, Quatre."
"I am, Duo, and whether it is something to be ashamed of I cannot say " the blonde answered. "Aren't you at least a little anxious? You are- I can sense it. And you're anxious about Wufei...where he is now.....Duo we all need something to lean on."
"But if God cared about Wufei, He'd have never let this happen to him. If God really wanted Wufei to have a chance at life, a decent future, He'd have never let him meet Sally Po."
"It's not Sally's fault." Quatre's voice was tired and weak.
"It is! She killed him! Hitting him with jeep.....caused the blood clot. She killed our brother."
Tears spilled down Duo's hot cheeks, unable to be contained for the sake of keeping up a macho facade. They rolled freely, as his nose began to run again.
"I don't know," Quatre whispered, his face crumpling. Duo turned and tightened his arms around his blonde friend. Their lament lasted well into the early hours of the morning.
"God," Duo cried, angrily, ashamed of his tears, seething at himself. "Do you hear me, God? Oh God why is he dead? Why or Wufei? Our brother?"
His own tears dripped down Quatre's neck and soaked his collar. Duo could feel his companion's body shaking as he cried.
"He's dead," Quatre murmured. "But...I can't feel it....I don't feel it....He's here somehow....I don't feel like he's gone."
"Bring him back, God," was all Duo could utter. "Please God. I know I'm wrong, I'm evil....I'm Shinigami....But please.....I'll do anything...."
****
Sally was cold, inside and out. It was dark now, as she leaned over the wall, looking down into the sea. Once in a while, the water would spray her face, leaving it's salty taste on her lips. But she wanted to be on her own. Out here, where nobody knew her, where no-one could accuse her. Alone with her thoughts. Sally barely wanted to think in her current state about the last time she had allowed her thoughts to wander, however she knew she couldn't blank it once she'd closed her eyes.
Zechs. Noin. Their wonderful wedding and promise of everlasting happiness. It had been a large affair, Lady Une had insisted it should be, and agreed to cover most of the expenses. It had been the first real event since the official end of the war that had brought some mirth to those who had previously been involved. Sally thought back on it with a bitter heart, at how the whole day hadn't lifted her spirits at all but dampened them.....
She remembered how she had stood back then, in the evening, at the window of her hotel room, while the others were merrymaking below her. She stared out onto the grounds, noticing how even the trees had been decorated with lights. The whole building had been converted to some kind of a palace for Milliardo Peacecraft and his bride. Their wedding guests were staying in this hotel for the night, so their socialising could go on well into the early hours of the morning, while the two of them would leave for their honeymoon and go gallivanting 'off into the sunset'. And so it should be, as they were, after all, in love.
Love? Sally had pressed her fingers and nose against the window pane and sighed deeply, not allowing herself to become reflective on the concept of love. Inside she felt terrible. How could she be so jealous of Noin? Lucrezia Noin deserved some prosperity in life, and she had found romance and happiness in Zechs. She had found a man who loved her regardless of everything that had happened between them. Despite his initial doubts about his worthiness, he cherished her, it was obvious by the expression in his eyes when he recited the wedding vows.
Sally felt a small yet significant sting at the thought of how she was cherished by no-one. Her entire existence was to be a helping hand, an aide in bad times, she felt. Sally had always convinced herself she should be strong and refuse to feel sorry for herself, despite feeling so hurtfully taken for granted. Her cheerful disposition, and the way she threw herself into her tasks allowed her to follow this through.
Wufei. He was her major and most favourite task. Working alongside him gave Sally a sense of purpose, putting her efforts into helping the stern Chinese youth loosen up a little and have a less strict approach to life. She knew he had his friends, but being a maternal figure to him helped her ease her own pain, the pain of feeling undervalued. She had never considered he may one day resent this.
The door creaked at that moment and a figure emerged from behind, breaking her moment of tense solidity.
Chang Wufei eased himself rather hesitantly into the room, and immediately his eyes fell upon the woman by the window, tawny hair combed backwards in lustrous waves. Her posture was awkward, probably brought on by the form fitting halter-necked dress she was wearing. Sally didn't like to be dressed up, it didn't suit her, she had once said. Perhaps this was why she had appeared so reserved during the wedding.
Wufei cleared his throat to get her attention. As expected, Sally turned her gaze to him and he immediately noticed how her manner was so cheerless.
"Were you bored of the party, Wufei?" she asked him quietly.
"Yes, I came to this wedding as it was my duty," he replied simply. "I'd have thought you would be down there with everyone else, not hidden in here by yourself."
Sally turned away for a moment. "Were you looking for me?"
The Chinese youth shifted his weight uncomfortably. " Um...I was just...concerned, if that's the right word."
Sally watched how he controlled himself. He stood rigidly before her, looking as if he felt as out of place in a suit as she did in a gown. Nevertheless, there was something quite charming about Wufei. She'd always thought this but more so tonight. Slowly, he walked towards her until they were eye level with each other.
"You're sad, I can tell," he stated blankly. It was a statement, there was no warmth in his voice. Perhaps he thought her weak.
"No, I'm not sad, Wufei- ," she tried to protest. Yet her face showed something different. It was so obvious how miserable she was and through his clear almond eyes, Wufei could see it entirely.
He sighed and his face softened gently. "I'm...not too good with words...if I held you, would that make it better? Just for a little while?"
Sally stiffened. Hold her? She didn't need comfort from any man. Least of all him. How weak must she really be if even Chang Wufei was willing to comfort her?
"It's...okay. I don't need that, Wufei."
He placed his hands behind his back and nodded solemnly. "I thought women needed things such as that, that's all," he uttered quietly.
"I don't need it."
Sally turned back to the window, wondering when he would depart. Did she want him to leave her? He was stood like a statue, she could feel his presence behind her. She was being stubborn, she knew. But she had to be. She couldn't lose herself another time.
Wufei twitched a little. Was he supposed to go now? Feeling slightly childish, he turned and made a move for the door. He wasn't in the business of pursuing such things. It was the fickle nature of women that so irritated him.
"Wu- hold on a minute," Sally spoke up. "I didn't mean to sound rude - "
"You didn't. Truth be told, I don't really need you either. It's strange how humans feel the need to depend on one another so much."
"You....don't need me?" Sally whispered, feeling a chill clamp her heart. "Explain yourself, Wufei."
He faced her, standing tensely. "You've put a lot of good things into me, Sally Po," he answered. "But there's only so much one can do with words of wisdom. I have to find my own way. So in a sense, what you have to offer, I don't need anymore. I feel these days rather like an equal to you as opposed to your pupil."
Sally could have never estimated how much these words would tear at her soul, how they would rip her apart inside, yet she retained her composure. He didn't need her? She should have guessed it. She should have estimated one day, he'd reject her nurturing. But why now? Why now when she was already feeling so alone?
The woman gulped. What would she have left in this wretched world if even Wufei saw her of no use anymore? He was just like all the others, needing her for a short while, then dismissing her when she could be of no more help. Because help meant weakness.
"So, you don't want me, then?" Sally spoke up in a hushed tone.
"Woman," he murmured, almost affectionately, which surprised her. He stepped towards her. "I don't need your teaching, that doesn't mean I don't want you."
"I don't understand, Wufei."
He was standing so close to her she could feel his breath tickling her face. Only once before had she felt this. It had not been a passionate encounter, just a simple kiss. It must have been at least a year ago. Wufei remembered it still; just before the five were about to depart for their college, Trowa and Heero some way down the knoll engaging in deep and serious conversation. Quatre and Duo were giggling like schoolboys in a phone box as Duo made prank phone calls to Hilde. It was a lighter moment in their lives.
Wufei had been perched beside Sally in the back of a trailer, a tight hold on his belongings. He had noticed her watching the other boys with amusement, a glow of affection in her eyes, their colour reflecting the blue of the sky. He had watched her face with a sudden, uncanny fascination. And for no conceivable reason, spurred by the heat, he had leaned forward and touched his lips against hers. Only for a second, and should she have blinked, she might have missed it. But she didn't blink. Neither did she address it afterwards. Wufei had since wondered why. They never spoke of it since, either.
Right now, he was sure she must be recalling it, though. She was recalling something, at least. Maybe it wasn't that exactly. Her eyes were questioning, and almost begging for him just to desire her guidance and nothing more. Yet at the same time, the woman made no effort to remove herself from his presence.
"Sally," he whispered and found no words to accompany it.
He reached and took hold of one of her hands and pulled her nearer. It surprised her just how gentle he could really be, he wasn't so cold and aloof as she had first perceived. But she'd always known that, she realised.
Their faces were so close now. The young Chinese man was unsure of what was urging him to do this, but at this moment, all he wanted to do was to be near her like never before. Was this weak to feel this way? Were these feelings indecent? Anyhow, they concerned him but it wasn't enough to make him walk away.
His onyx eyes gazed at her lips for a short while, listening to her breathing intently. She hadn't pushed him away before, he wasn't sure whether she might do so now. Hesitantly, he tilted his head and pushed it into the warmth of her face, forcing his lips against hers. Not waiting for her response, he pried her mouth open slightly with his, as if she were a form of refuge. Sally didn't attempt to break away, she simply closed her eyes and squeezed her hands over his hard shoulders, pushing against him. A part of her wanted it this way. She'd always been intrigued by him, he was older now, attractive and it was......right?
Wufei moved her into his arms, though his thoughts were not on what he was doing, but why he was doing it. Meiran. Had he ever shared this intimacy with her? He remembered holding her, he had had to learn to be close to her. Marriage had required it.
But this was not so with Sally. He hadn't had to teach himself to want her so near. He'd never felt it as strongly as he had today. Should it be hormones, or meaningless passion, he didn't know. Was it just a craving for affection? Wufei didn't think affection was something he relied upon, as a rule he needed nobody. Yet why on earth was he doing this, and to further the questions knotting his mind, why was she letting him? Maybe it was something he needed to do, to prove to himself he didn't require her coddling. Perhaps.
The knots continued and tightened painfully in his brain as he felt her arms wrap around his neck, and he kissed her harder until it wearied the two of them and their teeth began to clash and they gasped for breath.
"Wufei," she murmured, her nose touching his. "Gentle. That's the way."
He took heed, aware of how her body fit against him so differently to the way Meiran's had. It felt weird, doing this, like being married or something. Properly. How his marriage should have been. If he'd have loved her. But had he loved Meiran? Or not? And did he love Sally? He pondered on these questions as he watched the lamplight dance on her skin.
Sally debated heavily on her purpose now. Was this her only way to be close to him, no more talks, discussions, light-hearted arguments. If this was all Wufei needed her for- someone to practise adulthood on - then so be it, she decided bitterly. She'd wasted herself once, why not a second time?
She pushed her face against his neck and sniffed the intoxicating scent of his aftershave. It was alarmingly strange - she wanted him so badly, so deeply, yet at the same time she didn't want him at all. Because he was young, trained for war but not for life. That boyish innocence she sensed at the core of him - in all the pilots - would be lost to her and it broke her heart to imagine it. She couldn't let another fall. Not the one she really loved. NO. She just couldn't. Not like this -
"Stop it! What do you think you're doing?" she demanded suddenly, giving the youth a forceful shove.
Wufei stumbled a few paces backwards, blinking, too taken aback to react with indignation.
"I thought you were honourable, Wufei," Sally said, breathless and glaring.
"I only kissed you....," he answered in a low voice. Her mood had shifted so hastily it startled him.
"Yeah well I'm too old for you. So back off."
"Are you calling me a child?" He glowered.
Sally snapped, "Don't you ever try to take advantage of me like that! I'm never going to let this happen again! You understand? I'm not just some piece of trash you can pick up and drop whenever you feel like."
Wufei's eyes widened and Sally could feel them boring into her soul. He glanced away. "I wasn't taking advantage...I did nothing wrong. Keep your voice down, Woman."
"Why should I, Wufei?" Sally continued in the same pitch. "To save your dignity? To put people under the illusion you're a man of integrity? I'm not Meiran, you've made no commitment to me...but that's just perfect isn't it?"
The Chinese man didn't offer any challenge, or form of justification which surprised Sally. He kept his eyes on his feet, which told her somewhere in his heart, he was hurtfully confused. He wished he hadn't have told her about his wife.
"You don't want commitment, do you?" Sally continued. "Not to me, not to your friends, not to anyone. You're just selfish, Wufei. You're only ever out for yourself and what you can gain. Be it a new perception, or some new words to add to your vocabulary."
"You're not my mother! Don't speak to me in that tone...Woman..." Wufei responded, bristling by the second. Why did he deserve such a lecture? He'd done absolutely nothing but kiss her. Nothing wrong at all! What was WRONG with her?
"I'll talk to you how I damn well please," she snapped back. " And you're right, I AM a woman and you - you're just a naive, idealistic kid!"
And then she burst into tears. Not loudly, like some women might, but enough to daunt Wufei, though he didn't offer any form of comfort. He felt rather like a wounded animal, yet his expression defied this.
Sally blinked through her tears, sighing. "I apologise, Wufei- maybe you don't have the same mind-set as you did during the war. Only you know that. But you are a kid. I wish it didn't have to be that way."
"It doesn't," he answered through clenched teeth.
She was still sobbing, her mascara muddy. "Yes it does. I'm afraid it does. And what am I supposed to do now? What am I good for? You just tried to use me like everyone else does. And when things look okay, you'll move on."
"Is this...is this because I said I didn't need your help?" he replied quietly, lifting his gaze to her tearful eyes. He glimpsed deep hurt in their depths and refused to acknowledge the sting he felt inside.
"You need all the help you can get," Sally shot back, becoming angry again. "Because you're not ready for any relationship. You're just immature if you think you can use a woman! You don't even love me. And you don't even want to. You don't know this first thing about love. Because all you want is yourself. Now promise me you'll never kiss me again! Promise! Now!"
There was definitely something wrong, he thought. She wasn't acting herself at all.
Wufei nodded his agreement, pacing towards the door. He placed his hand on the door handle and turned, his black eyes glittering. "Sally, you're right, I don't know love. I don't know at all. But do you? Are you in any position to help me?"
Sally shook her head. " No, Wufei, so I can't even tell you. You have to find it yourself. That's if you even want to."
He closed the door gently behind him as he left her. Sally turned back to the window. In the pit of her gut hung a heavy weight and a deep ache settled inside her heart. She would have to be gentler on Wufei, it wasn't his fault, she'd thought. He made mistakes, yet so did she....
Yes, perhaps they both were searching for answers. And this wasn't the only occasion they'd searched in the month between the accident and the night of the wedding she'd remembered just then. He'd kissed her since, somehow unable to help himself. She'd surrendered to it for a little while, then each time admonished him as if this wasn't what she wanted. And yet she did want it, she knew she did....she always came back for more. And once again, she would angrily explode on him....like she'd done in the jeep. And she knew what was holding her back. The child of hers, the seed that had been planted inside of her, that should never have been there.
She was older, she should have been more responsible, shouldn't have pulled Wufei in then pushed him away without warning. She had been toying with a young man's emotions, though not deliberately so. Perhaps she was to blame entirely. But she had to push him away, she just had to, or else he might make the same fatal mistake as the other she cared for. As his perfect companion. And she never wanted this as long as she lived.
Months later now, looking out on the black expanse of the sea, she knew neither would ever know the answers. Sally would never know whether Wufei ever really wanted to love her as he was gone. Dead. Whisked from her life. She wondered at this moment if death by heartbreak was really something that only happened in fairytales.
****
It was early morning by the time Sally reluctantly made her way back to the villa. To her surprise, outside the door, stood a surly looking police officer, conversing with Heero. Another, younger officer was stood slightly behind him. She wandered a little nearer, unsure of what was going on. A part of her hardly cared. She noticed Trowa, Duo and Quatre hovering behind their comrade tensely.
"Young man, I am not here to argue with you, I am simply asking for the woman I trust is residing here."
The officer's voice held the typical accent of the area. Heero seemed to be uncooperative. His prussian blue eyes stared coldly into the man's face. " I don't know where she is. She left late last night and has not returned. We can't help you."
The older officer seemed slightly irritable. "Look here son, we've had nothing but harmony on this island for at least a year. We get the odd event such as a drunken brawl, but nothing like this. I am asking for your help. Aren't you four supposed to be Preventer agents? Well you're not doing much of a job are you? Hiding that lady for us. We need to find her....this isn't a game, this could be murder..."
Murder? Sally froze and she felt a knot grip her stomach. They were accusing her of murdering Wufei. Was that why the officers were here? It couldn't be.
Gulping, she broke the bitter silence and stepped towards the door. The policemen turned as she advanced.
"Who are you?" the first demanded, as the willowy woman approached him.
"Sally," she answered calmly.
"Sally Po? The one who was involved with that Chinese guy....Wufei Chang. Your colleague. The one who's dead?"
Dead. The word seared through her, but she lowered her head and nodded. "Yes."
"You've been wandering outside all night, this young man tells me," the elder said, gesturing to Heero. "You can tell, too. You look a fate worse that death - if you'll excuse the pun."
His colleague chuckled under his breath. Did this man think he was somehow funny? Did they really think she was evil? Sally glanced round and caught a glimpse of each of the four faces behind the door. Heero was glaring, regarding the officers resentfully. Trowa's face remained impassive though his emerald eyes were cast harshly upon the two older men. Quatre stared straight ahead, ignoring what was going on around him, shivering despite the heat, whilst Duo had his eyes fixed on Sally. Dark, brooding and full of hurt.
The older officer coughed. "Well, I see we're getting somewhere now. By the way, I am Officer Invorra. This here is Officer Sanchez. We need to ask a few questions of you, Sally Po."
Sally nodded, rubbing her tired eyes. The four pilots who were obstructing the doorway stood aside as the policemen made their way into the villa. Sally followed and they seated themselves in the lounge, opposite her.
"If you don't mind, could we have a few moments alone with this woman?"
The four young men nodded and sullenly made their way outside. Invorra turned to Sally, pen and paper in hand. Once out of earshot of the others, namely Heero, all pleasantry escaped him.
"We had a call at the station from the infirmary late last night. Apparently, a young Chinese man - a Preventer died earlier that day," the officer explained harshly. "Dr Julius, the man we spoke to, said Mr Chang was in a serious condition, one they hadn't quite realised when he was admitted. He also told me the accident could have happened under suspicious circumstances..."
Sally felt light-headed, and should she have eaten breakfast, she was sure it would have been brought up at this moment in time. Her stomach was lurching and her hands clammy. She could barely focus on his words.
"You, woman - are you listening to me?"
"Yes, Wufei."
"Pardon me but my name is Officer Invorra."
"And my name is Sally."
"I know what your name is," he retorted. "You listen now! I want you to tell me EXACTLY what happened on Sunday the 17th of May, the day Preventer Wufei Chang was admitted to hospital."
Sally glanced down at the floor. What had happened? A part of her felt as if perhaps she should be punished, after all, if she had not abandoned Wufei, they could have dealt with the problems with their vehicle together, and he would still be with her now.
Invorra was impatient. Sanchez smirked. "Thought of a decent excuse yet?"
Sally shook her head, her jaw trembling, tears threatening to spill. "Nothing....nothing happened...."
"I find that hard to believe!" Invorra snorted. "Young Mr Chang suffers a stroke related to his head injuries, and dies before he had even reached twenty years of age. You told the hospital you had knocked him over with the jeep. You told them there was a fault with the vehicle you were driving. Perhaps they were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but the kid's dead now. Death, it changes everything."
Sally wondered why suddenly this Dr.Julius wanted the police on her case so hastily.
The room was spinning then, Sally was sure of it. "The jeep....there was a fault."
"But that doesn't explain how Mr Chang, who should have been inside the jeep, managed to be mowed down from behind, does it?"
"He...he wasn't inside."
"We know that, young lady. Dr Julius said his injuries were caused by a vehicle which had struck him from a distance. So don't go telling us he was 'just checking the wheels' or nothing like that. And that doesn't explain how the jeep just drove itself into him, does it?"
How could Sally tell him the real reason Wufei had gotten out of the jeep? That she had forced him out. Sally herself couldn't explain why the vehicle had lurched out of her control and it was not a convincing argument.
"I was reversing and it...just went out of my control...maybe something up with the accelerator," she answered weakly. "I don't know why. These things just happen sometimes, don't they?"
"Yeah, when you're trying to save your ass," the officer retorted. "This looks very suspicious to me, Ms Po. Very suspicious, in fact."
Sally clenched her jaw. There was nothing she could say or do which would convince these men otherwise. They'd obviously prematurely made up their minds she was guilty.
"Well," she answered. "I expect the faulty jeep was towed back to the hiring garage in this town where I got it from. My signature will be there next to the registration of the jeep loaned. You can trace the jeep and investigate on it...look for a fault. Surely mechanics there will know, won't they?"
"Ah..yes, we're getting to that," Officer Invorra stated smugly. "Late last night, the very same night since you found Preventer Chang had passed away from the accident induced injuries...the garage was gutted with flames. Completely. Burnt out all the vehicles in there and any hiring records, or records of faults with any of the vehicles."
"So...?"
"So somebody has tried to hide any evidence the police might use, haven't they? That in fact, there was nothing WRONG with the vehicle at all."
"Ever heard of a coincidence?" Sally snapped.
"Yeah...and have you ever heard of C.C.T.V?" Sanchez retorted. "A camera on the building nearby caught sight of a suspicious figure...more likely to be a woman...retreating from the flames. Masked and disguised of course."
"So are you trying to say I plotted to burn the garage down? Myself? To hide the evidence?" Sally almost spluttered, though managing to remain as self-composed as she could. "And just how would I do that?"
Invorra cut in: "Can I ask you a question? Where were you last night, Miss Po? Out and about? Not here in this villa, that can be confirmed. So what does that tell us?"
Sally growled. "I cannot believe you'd jump to such ridiculous conclusions!"
Officer Invorra hadn't finished yet; "We understand you are a member of the Preventers - we got in contact with the head - Chief Une. She expressed great shock at our decision to hold you here in custody..."
Sally's eyes snapped to his. They were dark orbs, compassionless. "Custody?" she breathed.
"Yes, Ms Po," Officer Sanchez spoke up. "We are arresting you in connection with the death of Wufei Chang. Anything you do or say may be used against you."
"In other words, keep your mouth shut," Invorra warned, his eyes glinting. He was enjoying this, Sally could tell.
"I...I'd never....never...harm Wufei," the woman protested, feeling rather like a cat cornered by two rabid dogs. " You...you have it wrong...you can't arrest me...I have a duty as a Preventer agent."
"And we have duties as members of the island police force," Sanchez argued. "Chief Une presented the argument that you are a respectable person who is even-tempered and certainly has no history of aggression or mental instability. Would you agree, Ms Po?"
Sally was silent. She didn't know her own self at this moment.
"But," interjected Officer Invorra, "We got hold of a copy of your official records from Chief Une, who wasn't particularly co-operative at first over the phone, probably trying to protect your name. She e-mailed them to us. They informed us you were once a member of a resistance group before joining the Preventers, but before that, you were a Major with the Alliance, were you not?"
Sally nodded. She couldn't very well lie.
"Tut, tut," Invorra mocked. "So you certainly have a history of involvement in war and violence."
"But it was for good! " Sally answered, not about to let them crush her.
"The UESA? Good? I don't think so."
"Not the Alliance, my work since then."
"Yeah yeah," Sanchez interjected. "But what we're getting at is - if you have been in trained in the military - mobile suits, heavy artillery and the like - a simple act like killing a person with a jeep is childsplay. You've been trained to take lives."
"No! You're wrong!" Sally stated, inwardly pleading with these men. "I have been trained to fight, and no doubt wars involve deaths. No-one can dispute that. But that does not mean I condone it. I fought for peace, you can't use my previous history as evidence in this case."
"Don't tell us how to do our job, Ms Po," Invorra answered, his voice dangerously low.
"You don't even know I have a motive," Sally sneered, undaunted. These men did not want justice in this situation, they wanted something new and 'exciting' to interest them in their otherwise mediocre lives. "There is no reason for me to do such a thing like kill my colleague, is there?"
"You tell us. That's what we're going to investigate, but for now, we'll be holding you in the basement of the island station. For safe keeping."
Sally winced as Officer Sanchez rose and clamped the cold handcuffs around her wrists, forcing them painfully behind her back. He noticed the bandages tied around them. Then he said something to his colleague in their own tongue.
"Well well well, a nice selection of fresh scratches and scrapes on these wrists of yours," Invorra stated, removing the material and holding up one of the woman's arms for his partner to view. "Suicide? Mental instability? This doesn't look good, Sally Po. Not good at all."
From then on, everything was a blur. Sally barely noticed the youths' responses as the two police officers marched her outside to a waiting truck. It wasn't the manhandling that got to her, she was used to mens rough treatment - it was the piercing of her dignity. The wound would be slow to heal, she feared. But she did not cry. No, she would never cry for them. Never.
"It's not right, it's not right," Quatre gasped suddenly, gripping his head, tufts of flaxen hair twisted round his fingers. "It's not how it should be, it's not. I can feel it. There's something wrong."
"Get a grip, Quatre," Duo insisted, jabbing him in the side with an elbow. "The police are checking this out. We're gonna get justice for Wu's death."
"Trowa," Heero whispered as the truck disappeared down the dirt road, clouds of dust tailing behind it.
"What is it, Heero?" the auburn haired boy asked solemnly.
"I'm not satisfied this is what Wufei would call justice. Quatre's right. I can sense it too," Heero admitted. "I wish to remain here with Sally. Killing a Preventer is a serious offence, you know how precious these agents are to our society nowadays. She won't be allowed bail."
Quatre was shuddering now and beads of sweat were emerging on his forehead, dampening his bangs. Trowa reached to steady him as his balance wavered.
"You can't stay, Heero, what about Wufei's funeral?" Duo inquired, becoming slightly distressed at Quatre's behaviour. "We're supposed to be leaving this place in a couple of days so we can bring the casket back to the Preventers for the ceremony."
Heero brushed a hand over his forehead. "That is so," he replied. "But I will return. And I shall be informing Lady Une that this is a mission I have assigned myself on."
"I don't see what's so wrong," Duo replied. "We heard those cops as we were listening through the door - it seems so obvious Sally was to blame. She couldn't even justify herself."
Quatre and Trowa turned, surprised that Duo was suddenly thinking of blaming Sally after all.
"You don't know Sally Po as I do," Heero answered calmly, yet slightly bitterly. "I am not saying she wasn't a part of the accident. It's more to do with her dealings with Wufei which I am interested in."
Duo and Quatre felt themselves flush in turn. Both knew they had read Wufei's letter to Sally, though neither would dare admit to the other two they had done what Heero had forbidden.
"It may be best if Duo and Quatre stay at the headquarters once we have returned," Trowa spoke up after a tense pause. " I'll accompany you, Heero on your mission back here."
Both stoic young men reached a mutual agreement that this would be best. Duo and Quatre's thoughts had turned to the funeral held once they'd returned. It would be a difficult, if not emotional occasion for them all. Emotions didn't have to show themselves, but they existed. And since the war, the old wounds of death and misery would be opened up again for all previously involved.
"C'mon, Quatre," Duo sighed angrily, taking his friend by the shoulders and guiding him back into the villa. "Let's leave the serious stuff to those two. At least we'll be the ones mourning for Wufei and not for Sally Po."
Heero knew he owed it to Sally to help her out of this dilemma. And he owed it to Wufei. Perhaps it could be his only way of saying sorry, as if it might make up for what he did which seemed like so long ago now.
************
TBC
The First To Fall By Ashy
*~ Chapter 7 ~*
"His records were confirmed last night, this is the Gundam Pilot 05, Wufei Chang. It's amazing those Preventers haven't closer tabs on their computer system. Hacking's easy if you know how," the wiry-haired gentleman chuckled.
"You reckon his comrades are going to fall for this, Sir? This blood clot business? And there's only so much this new drug can do to keep his heartbeat down....."
"Look here, you know what I am capable of, and you also know who I am, don't you?
"Yes Sir. Head of the ______ Organisation."
Julius looked at his selection of colleagues, clustered around Wufei's bedside. "Yes. And you also know what happens if you disobey your commander, don't you? I have waited so long for this oppurtunity, and it is obvious we have found the perfect candidate to execute our plans."
"Could be risky, a Gundam pilot. Couldn't we just use a regular former-Oz soldier or something? They're much easier to come by. Not as much sneaking around Sir, not as much risk-"
"Life's all about risks," came the husky reply. "And chances. It's all by chance this 'prize' dropped into our lap. MY lap. One day I'll have to personally thank that woman who so innocently made our plans possible. She'll take the blame, believe me. As head consultant here, I can do anything I like to the young man's records, I can even sign his life away."
A small chuckle pierced the atmosphere, and the other men present found themselves sweating with doubt.
"But Sir-" one spoke up, his eyes fixed on Wufei's inanimate form.
"DON'T accuse me of doing something wrong," his master retorted, exasperated. "A former Oz soldier? We need someone with much more skill than that. I have planned this ever since I can remember, don't even think about doubting me now."
"Sir, forgive me but if you don't mind me saying, I fear you think you have been a little too hasty in this manoeuvre - how will you convince his comrades?"
"Have you so little faith in me?"
"I think I speak for the group of us when I say we do not doubt you. But I don't think it is even beyond your knowledge that you- all of us, Sir are playing with fire here."
Julius was silent. "If you're not with me, Carlos, you're against me. And we wouldn't want that, would we?....no. Unlike most of the innocent civilians on this island, you know who I am don't you? Behind my profession, you know who I am."
"Yes, Sir."
"And soon enough, Chang Wufei is going to know of it too."
He snorted and pulled the bedclothes back over Wufei's sleeping face.
****
The door creaked painfully as Duo entered the small bedroom. He was sharing a room with Heero, but seeing as he didn't appear to be sleeping tonight, Duo sought some comfort in Quatre's company. Sally had left an hour ago for some 'fresh air' and still had not returned to the villa.
Heero and Trowa remained in the lounge, rigid in opposite armchairs in a tense, strained silence. They had been this way ever since Heero had stormed away from Duo's presense earlier on that day. Not one of the four had eaten, and Duo felt the empty churning sensation in his stomach, yet he felt too sick and dazed to eat.
Quatre's body lay huddled under his quilt, his muffled sobs barely audible. Duo couldn't bring himself to offer any words of comfort to his friend. It was just like Quatre to cry. Duo didn't particularly want to sleep, not mentally, but his body was exhausted and he felt it like a dull ache in his bones. Defeatedly, he crawled under his sheets and lay staring for a while at the ceiling. Cracks, lines, divisions.
Eventually, Duo couldn't stand the silence any longer. "You...you okay, Quatre?" he ventured, knowing the answer. But not talking to anyone made him feel worse.
"Mmm," was the blonde's reply, accompanied by more retching sobs. He wasn't okay. Far from it, in fact.
Duo reached out his hand and pulled Wufei's backpack onto his bed. Quatre turned on hearing the noise, and now Duo could clearly see how the Arabian's face was wet and streaked. His lustrous eyes were sore and bloodshot.
" What...are you doing with Wufei's bag?" Quatre choked out.
"Holding it."
Quatre wiped his eyes and watched as his companion wrapped his arms around the small backpack, cradling it close to his chest. "Duo...is it like....hugging him or something...?"
"I guess. It's just a bag. But it makes me feel better," Duo answered in a small, strained voice. "Don't look at me like that, Quatre, I'm not weird, it's just - it just helps, okay?"
Quatre nodded and turned away, too exhausted to cry anymore. He winced at the sound of Duo pulling down the zipper on the backpack. The braided teen delved into the bag, retrieving what his fingers ached for - the small engraved box. Pulling it out, he moved the bag aside and rolled onto his stomach, placing the box on the pillow in front of him. Quatre turned and sat up as the lid was wrenched open.
"Duo....what are you doing now?"
"Are you paranoid or something?" the American hissed back, then immediately felt a prick of guilt. The last thing he wanted to do was to upset Quatre further, his emotions were already delicate.
"You've got Wufei's private box," Quatre replied, his voice cracking. "Leave it, Duo. Heero told you to leave it."
Duo chose to ignore him. He so desperately wanted to read that letter. Slowly his fingers took hold of the folded piece of paper nestled inside the box. He flicked on the bedside lamp for better light to read in. His round violet eyes, oblivious to Quatre's anxious gaze, scanned over the words. Wufei's words to Sally. He'd obviously not given her the letter - it was dated weeks ago. Wufei's handwriting was agonisingly neat.
Sally,
I wanted to tell you in person to you what I have to say but as you well know, I often can't explain myself without becoming angry or rude. I doubt you would even want to listen, so that's the reason I wrote to you instead. Yes, I am aware it is cowardly to do so rather than face to face, but perhaps it might help me to write things down.
I know that right now you don't think I value you, that you think people only use you when they're in times of trouble, because you're so calm, and sensible, and strong beyond any woman I have come across since Nataku. I'm am not sure if this is the real reason you seem to distant lately, perhaps there is something else which you are not willing to discuss with me- and I don't demand that you do. But I want you to know I respect you with everything inside of me. And this is all very well, but I feel now as if the plain respect has turned into something else and I am not sure what it is or why it is there.
I want to apologise for my actions recently. I don't fully understand what it was which made me want to hold you and kiss you and do more things besides but I am truly sorry. I am glad you were angry with me because I realise it looked as if I was taking advantage. And I probably was, I should have stayed true to my sense of honour and virtue. I don't remember ever being this way over any woman before, not even my wife and I hate myself for it.
I will try my hardest never to do such a thing again. I hope you won't despise me forever for it because you're right, perhaps I acted selfish and immature. But normal life beyond the battle is hard and confusing and I just don't know how to act. I didn't want this to turn into a grovelling sort of letter but I suppose it should be because I am dishonourable and undeserving of your friendship.
I know these feelings I harbour are in some way wrong, but they're persistent and I find they only ever subside if I kiss you, that's why I do it. It's like an illness or something and it frightens me. I don't understand it, or how to control it. But if it continues, I will do the honourable thing and resign from my position in the Preventer Organisation.
----- Wufei.
Duo's jaw trembled and his scrunched the letter up in his palm, then flung it at the wall in a gesture of anger. Quatre sat bolt upright in bed, his expression of woe quickly replaced by shock.
"Duo...that letter...what...what...was it?" he ventured, his voice quavering.
"Nothin'. Just a load of crap," Duo snorted, his throat tightening. He arranged his face into a sneer, shaking with violent anger.
"What....did it say," Quatre inquired. "Who was it to?"
"Just Wufei writing a load of crap to Sally Po," Duo snarled, as his lip curled. "Saying he's got some illness that makes him want to kiss her. It's sick!
"Duo. It's not- "
"No! You're right- it's not Wufei's fault. Sally Po. She's the one who's sick, not him! What's she been doing to our Wufei to make him like this? All drippy and sappy and miserable? That cradle-robber- "
"Stop!" Quatre commanded, his voice raising. "Insulting her won't help, Duo! It doesn't help things, it just winds you up! Shall I get Heero?"
"What do I wanna talk to that robot for? Ya think he's gonna give me a hug, make everything all right? Make Wufei come back?"
"Duo......stop it...."
"......because we all know how Heero is the 'Perfect Soldier' the perfect person....just so multi-talented and...." Duo's words oozed sarcasm. But there was the distinct evidence of tears in his eyes.
"I just meant-"
"How come everyone thinks Heero can make everything right?" Duo growled, shielding his face from Quatre's view. "Call me jealous, but I just hate the way people think he's so flawless. If Heero was so cool and collected....why does he act so weird these days? I don't think he's perfect....far from it. I don't."
"Weird? Of course he's acting weird.....our dear comrade Wufei has just passed away," the Arabian replied gravely. Quatre felt a sharp pain sear his heart once more when the situation was vocalised.
"Anyway, Heero's nothing to do with Wufei's death, is he? It's Sally Po. Sally....man I thought she was so reliable, and good. What the hell was she doing playing tonsil tennis with Wufei?!" Duo frowned deeply. "Quatre, your heart's probably better, and purer than mine. You're better with heart stuff. So tell me, what was she doing? What was he doing....why did he think he was ill?"
The young blonde man climbed out of his bed and padded softly to where the letter lay on the carpet. He knelt down and picked it up, smoothing it out over his knees. Once he'd read it, Quatre stood to his feet. His blond hair glowed eerily in the lamp light and his aqua eyes glistened with tears. "Duo - Wufei wasn't ill. It doesn't sound like he was ill at all. I think he...was in love with her - "
"Love? With her? That's crap!" Duo protested once again. "She's older. And he once told me he didn't even like Sally Po and wished he could have worked alongside Zechs Marquise because he's strong and capable and not a woman...."
"It's just like Wufei to say something like that," Quatre answered, clambering up onto Duo's bed and putting a soothing arm around his shoulders. "He never did like to admit to weakness. And when he said that, it was when you were teasing him about having a crush on Sally," he added, recalling.
"I was joking back then," Duo said bitterly. "Of course I never thought Wufei would ever *really* feel those things for her. Sally was....I dunno....like a mom to him. To all of us in a way. I can't believe after all this time she was getting up to tricks with our comrade! I used to think it would be funny....but it's not. Do you see me laughing? Do you see me laughing?"
"No..no Duo."
The two of them sank against each other, weary from grieving. Duo slackened into Quatre's embrace. It felt strange having Quatre comfort him. He felt wretched, and frustrated at how Wufei's death could have affected him so badly.
"Love her?" Duo whispered. "How does Wufei know what love feels like?"
"He doesn't," Quatre answered softly, smoothing away a teardrop. "That's why he wrote the letter. He's all confused. If you think about it, all five of us have been trained in battle, but we've never been taught how to love. We can only find our own interpretations of it. But then again, that's how it is for everyone."
"How is it that we're talking about Wu in the present tense? He's dead right?" Duo reminded Quatre, and also himself. It felt as if the whole thing just hadn't really registered in his mind.
"I know. I know," the Arabian spoke up woefully. " But it's like I feel he's still with us. Still a part of us somehow."
"You're being all poetic and sentimental," Duo replied, sighing. "What I wanna know is how could Wufei like women? It makes no sense. He never liked them, he always said they weren't worth the hassle."
"And then he met Sally..."
Duo shook his head defiantly. "I don't believe he loved Sally."
"Well he kissed her," Quatre replied quietly. "It says in the letter."
"I've kissed loads of girls," Duo retorted. "It didn't mean anything. Kisses aren't love."
Quatre paused. "Have you ever kissed Hilde?" he asked timidly.
"Have I heck!" Duo said defensively. "Hilde's a mate. That's all! I don't want anything to do with the love crap, look what it did to Wufei. Love and stuff - just complicates things."
There was a break in conversation as Quatre reached in his pyjama shirt pocket for a tissue to wipe his eyes. Duo's nose was running and he passed him one too. Duo hastily, wiped his nose, embarrassed, and resumed his frustrated rambling.
"Wufei - he was too young for Sally anyway," he declared. "She was just letting him experiment, you know - stringing him along and using him."
"You...you don't know that, Duo," Quatre answered. He began to stare into space again, rocking backwards and forwards to comfort himself. "We don't know the half of it."
"Doesn't matter. She's too old for him."
"He's nineteen. He's not a kid anymore. None of us are. Not you or me, or Trowa or Heero."
Duo buried his head in his hands and screwed his eyes tightly shut, imagining desperately that Never Never Land was a real place. A place where you Never Never grew up and held onto your childhood forever. A place where there was Never Never wars and soldiers and mobile suits. A place where the was Never Never romance which took away the essence of a friend's character, and above all, where there was Never Never death. He was afraid of death. Shinigami, the dauntless God of Death, was sick with fear. He couldn't share these thoughts with Quatre. He'd think he'd gone nuts. He probably had.
"Yeah well she's twenty-three."
"It's not that much of a gap."
"It is! It's a bloody huge gap!"
The braided pilot continued to curse, his expletives getting progressively more offending to his gentle friend.
"Duo....please....it upsets me when you swear," the younger said, though Quatre had heard his fellow friend use much worse obscenities than this. He was impressed Duo had managed thus far to bite them back. Sometimes Quatre's proper upbringing conflicted with Duo's, though usually he made an effort to understand.
"Lay off, Quatre. I need to, okay? Vent some anger, all the grief, all this stuff in my head."
Quatre hugged his friend closer and stroked his braid with pale fingers. "You said you'd try not to swear because you knew Father Maxwell....and God didn't like it...."
"I don't believe in God," Duo growled. "Not now. Maybe I used to. Or maybe I pretended to. But not now."
Quatre sighed heavily. "But you said you were going to trust in God. You said just because you haven't had a childhood, it didn't mean you had to robbed of a future. It made us all feel better. Don't you want to believe Wufei is in Heaven?"
"If God is real," Duo answered. "He wouldn't have let all that war happen. God's just like Santa Claus or the tooth fairy. A nice idea." He laughed bitterly and said, "After all, I am Shinigami, the God of Death and I do not fear it, I don't need God. I don't need a crutch to lean on. I'm not afraid of dying, Quatre."
"I am, Duo, and whether it is something to be ashamed of I cannot say " the blonde answered. "Aren't you at least a little anxious? You are- I can sense it. And you're anxious about Wufei...where he is now.....Duo we all need something to lean on."
"But if God cared about Wufei, He'd have never let this happen to him. If God really wanted Wufei to have a chance at life, a decent future, He'd have never let him meet Sally Po."
"It's not Sally's fault." Quatre's voice was tired and weak.
"It is! She killed him! Hitting him with jeep.....caused the blood clot. She killed our brother."
Tears spilled down Duo's hot cheeks, unable to be contained for the sake of keeping up a macho facade. They rolled freely, as his nose began to run again.
"I don't know," Quatre whispered, his face crumpling. Duo turned and tightened his arms around his blonde friend. Their lament lasted well into the early hours of the morning.
"God," Duo cried, angrily, ashamed of his tears, seething at himself. "Do you hear me, God? Oh God why is he dead? Why or Wufei? Our brother?"
His own tears dripped down Quatre's neck and soaked his collar. Duo could feel his companion's body shaking as he cried.
"He's dead," Quatre murmured. "But...I can't feel it....I don't feel it....He's here somehow....I don't feel like he's gone."
"Bring him back, God," was all Duo could utter. "Please God. I know I'm wrong, I'm evil....I'm Shinigami....But please.....I'll do anything...."
****
Sally was cold, inside and out. It was dark now, as she leaned over the wall, looking down into the sea. Once in a while, the water would spray her face, leaving it's salty taste on her lips. But she wanted to be on her own. Out here, where nobody knew her, where no-one could accuse her. Alone with her thoughts. Sally barely wanted to think in her current state about the last time she had allowed her thoughts to wander, however she knew she couldn't blank it once she'd closed her eyes.
Zechs. Noin. Their wonderful wedding and promise of everlasting happiness. It had been a large affair, Lady Une had insisted it should be, and agreed to cover most of the expenses. It had been the first real event since the official end of the war that had brought some mirth to those who had previously been involved. Sally thought back on it with a bitter heart, at how the whole day hadn't lifted her spirits at all but dampened them.....
She remembered how she had stood back then, in the evening, at the window of her hotel room, while the others were merrymaking below her. She stared out onto the grounds, noticing how even the trees had been decorated with lights. The whole building had been converted to some kind of a palace for Milliardo Peacecraft and his bride. Their wedding guests were staying in this hotel for the night, so their socialising could go on well into the early hours of the morning, while the two of them would leave for their honeymoon and go gallivanting 'off into the sunset'. And so it should be, as they were, after all, in love.
Love? Sally had pressed her fingers and nose against the window pane and sighed deeply, not allowing herself to become reflective on the concept of love. Inside she felt terrible. How could she be so jealous of Noin? Lucrezia Noin deserved some prosperity in life, and she had found romance and happiness in Zechs. She had found a man who loved her regardless of everything that had happened between them. Despite his initial doubts about his worthiness, he cherished her, it was obvious by the expression in his eyes when he recited the wedding vows.
Sally felt a small yet significant sting at the thought of how she was cherished by no-one. Her entire existence was to be a helping hand, an aide in bad times, she felt. Sally had always convinced herself she should be strong and refuse to feel sorry for herself, despite feeling so hurtfully taken for granted. Her cheerful disposition, and the way she threw herself into her tasks allowed her to follow this through.
Wufei. He was her major and most favourite task. Working alongside him gave Sally a sense of purpose, putting her efforts into helping the stern Chinese youth loosen up a little and have a less strict approach to life. She knew he had his friends, but being a maternal figure to him helped her ease her own pain, the pain of feeling undervalued. She had never considered he may one day resent this.
The door creaked at that moment and a figure emerged from behind, breaking her moment of tense solidity.
Chang Wufei eased himself rather hesitantly into the room, and immediately his eyes fell upon the woman by the window, tawny hair combed backwards in lustrous waves. Her posture was awkward, probably brought on by the form fitting halter-necked dress she was wearing. Sally didn't like to be dressed up, it didn't suit her, she had once said. Perhaps this was why she had appeared so reserved during the wedding.
Wufei cleared his throat to get her attention. As expected, Sally turned her gaze to him and he immediately noticed how her manner was so cheerless.
"Were you bored of the party, Wufei?" she asked him quietly.
"Yes, I came to this wedding as it was my duty," he replied simply. "I'd have thought you would be down there with everyone else, not hidden in here by yourself."
Sally turned away for a moment. "Were you looking for me?"
The Chinese youth shifted his weight uncomfortably. " Um...I was just...concerned, if that's the right word."
Sally watched how he controlled himself. He stood rigidly before her, looking as if he felt as out of place in a suit as she did in a gown. Nevertheless, there was something quite charming about Wufei. She'd always thought this but more so tonight. Slowly, he walked towards her until they were eye level with each other.
"You're sad, I can tell," he stated blankly. It was a statement, there was no warmth in his voice. Perhaps he thought her weak.
"No, I'm not sad, Wufei- ," she tried to protest. Yet her face showed something different. It was so obvious how miserable she was and through his clear almond eyes, Wufei could see it entirely.
He sighed and his face softened gently. "I'm...not too good with words...if I held you, would that make it better? Just for a little while?"
Sally stiffened. Hold her? She didn't need comfort from any man. Least of all him. How weak must she really be if even Chang Wufei was willing to comfort her?
"It's...okay. I don't need that, Wufei."
He placed his hands behind his back and nodded solemnly. "I thought women needed things such as that, that's all," he uttered quietly.
"I don't need it."
Sally turned back to the window, wondering when he would depart. Did she want him to leave her? He was stood like a statue, she could feel his presence behind her. She was being stubborn, she knew. But she had to be. She couldn't lose herself another time.
Wufei twitched a little. Was he supposed to go now? Feeling slightly childish, he turned and made a move for the door. He wasn't in the business of pursuing such things. It was the fickle nature of women that so irritated him.
"Wu- hold on a minute," Sally spoke up. "I didn't mean to sound rude - "
"You didn't. Truth be told, I don't really need you either. It's strange how humans feel the need to depend on one another so much."
"You....don't need me?" Sally whispered, feeling a chill clamp her heart. "Explain yourself, Wufei."
He faced her, standing tensely. "You've put a lot of good things into me, Sally Po," he answered. "But there's only so much one can do with words of wisdom. I have to find my own way. So in a sense, what you have to offer, I don't need anymore. I feel these days rather like an equal to you as opposed to your pupil."
Sally could have never estimated how much these words would tear at her soul, how they would rip her apart inside, yet she retained her composure. He didn't need her? She should have guessed it. She should have estimated one day, he'd reject her nurturing. But why now? Why now when she was already feeling so alone?
The woman gulped. What would she have left in this wretched world if even Wufei saw her of no use anymore? He was just like all the others, needing her for a short while, then dismissing her when she could be of no more help. Because help meant weakness.
"So, you don't want me, then?" Sally spoke up in a hushed tone.
"Woman," he murmured, almost affectionately, which surprised her. He stepped towards her. "I don't need your teaching, that doesn't mean I don't want you."
"I don't understand, Wufei."
He was standing so close to her she could feel his breath tickling her face. Only once before had she felt this. It had not been a passionate encounter, just a simple kiss. It must have been at least a year ago. Wufei remembered it still; just before the five were about to depart for their college, Trowa and Heero some way down the knoll engaging in deep and serious conversation. Quatre and Duo were giggling like schoolboys in a phone box as Duo made prank phone calls to Hilde. It was a lighter moment in their lives.
Wufei had been perched beside Sally in the back of a trailer, a tight hold on his belongings. He had noticed her watching the other boys with amusement, a glow of affection in her eyes, their colour reflecting the blue of the sky. He had watched her face with a sudden, uncanny fascination. And for no conceivable reason, spurred by the heat, he had leaned forward and touched his lips against hers. Only for a second, and should she have blinked, she might have missed it. But she didn't blink. Neither did she address it afterwards. Wufei had since wondered why. They never spoke of it since, either.
Right now, he was sure she must be recalling it, though. She was recalling something, at least. Maybe it wasn't that exactly. Her eyes were questioning, and almost begging for him just to desire her guidance and nothing more. Yet at the same time, the woman made no effort to remove herself from his presence.
"Sally," he whispered and found no words to accompany it.
He reached and took hold of one of her hands and pulled her nearer. It surprised her just how gentle he could really be, he wasn't so cold and aloof as she had first perceived. But she'd always known that, she realised.
Their faces were so close now. The young Chinese man was unsure of what was urging him to do this, but at this moment, all he wanted to do was to be near her like never before. Was this weak to feel this way? Were these feelings indecent? Anyhow, they concerned him but it wasn't enough to make him walk away.
His onyx eyes gazed at her lips for a short while, listening to her breathing intently. She hadn't pushed him away before, he wasn't sure whether she might do so now. Hesitantly, he tilted his head and pushed it into the warmth of her face, forcing his lips against hers. Not waiting for her response, he pried her mouth open slightly with his, as if she were a form of refuge. Sally didn't attempt to break away, she simply closed her eyes and squeezed her hands over his hard shoulders, pushing against him. A part of her wanted it this way. She'd always been intrigued by him, he was older now, attractive and it was......right?
Wufei moved her into his arms, though his thoughts were not on what he was doing, but why he was doing it. Meiran. Had he ever shared this intimacy with her? He remembered holding her, he had had to learn to be close to her. Marriage had required it.
But this was not so with Sally. He hadn't had to teach himself to want her so near. He'd never felt it as strongly as he had today. Should it be hormones, or meaningless passion, he didn't know. Was it just a craving for affection? Wufei didn't think affection was something he relied upon, as a rule he needed nobody. Yet why on earth was he doing this, and to further the questions knotting his mind, why was she letting him? Maybe it was something he needed to do, to prove to himself he didn't require her coddling. Perhaps.
The knots continued and tightened painfully in his brain as he felt her arms wrap around his neck, and he kissed her harder until it wearied the two of them and their teeth began to clash and they gasped for breath.
"Wufei," she murmured, her nose touching his. "Gentle. That's the way."
He took heed, aware of how her body fit against him so differently to the way Meiran's had. It felt weird, doing this, like being married or something. Properly. How his marriage should have been. If he'd have loved her. But had he loved Meiran? Or not? And did he love Sally? He pondered on these questions as he watched the lamplight dance on her skin.
Sally debated heavily on her purpose now. Was this her only way to be close to him, no more talks, discussions, light-hearted arguments. If this was all Wufei needed her for- someone to practise adulthood on - then so be it, she decided bitterly. She'd wasted herself once, why not a second time?
She pushed her face against his neck and sniffed the intoxicating scent of his aftershave. It was alarmingly strange - she wanted him so badly, so deeply, yet at the same time she didn't want him at all. Because he was young, trained for war but not for life. That boyish innocence she sensed at the core of him - in all the pilots - would be lost to her and it broke her heart to imagine it. She couldn't let another fall. Not the one she really loved. NO. She just couldn't. Not like this -
"Stop it! What do you think you're doing?" she demanded suddenly, giving the youth a forceful shove.
Wufei stumbled a few paces backwards, blinking, too taken aback to react with indignation.
"I thought you were honourable, Wufei," Sally said, breathless and glaring.
"I only kissed you....," he answered in a low voice. Her mood had shifted so hastily it startled him.
"Yeah well I'm too old for you. So back off."
"Are you calling me a child?" He glowered.
Sally snapped, "Don't you ever try to take advantage of me like that! I'm never going to let this happen again! You understand? I'm not just some piece of trash you can pick up and drop whenever you feel like."
Wufei's eyes widened and Sally could feel them boring into her soul. He glanced away. "I wasn't taking advantage...I did nothing wrong. Keep your voice down, Woman."
"Why should I, Wufei?" Sally continued in the same pitch. "To save your dignity? To put people under the illusion you're a man of integrity? I'm not Meiran, you've made no commitment to me...but that's just perfect isn't it?"
The Chinese man didn't offer any challenge, or form of justification which surprised Sally. He kept his eyes on his feet, which told her somewhere in his heart, he was hurtfully confused. He wished he hadn't have told her about his wife.
"You don't want commitment, do you?" Sally continued. "Not to me, not to your friends, not to anyone. You're just selfish, Wufei. You're only ever out for yourself and what you can gain. Be it a new perception, or some new words to add to your vocabulary."
"You're not my mother! Don't speak to me in that tone...Woman..." Wufei responded, bristling by the second. Why did he deserve such a lecture? He'd done absolutely nothing but kiss her. Nothing wrong at all! What was WRONG with her?
"I'll talk to you how I damn well please," she snapped back. " And you're right, I AM a woman and you - you're just a naive, idealistic kid!"
And then she burst into tears. Not loudly, like some women might, but enough to daunt Wufei, though he didn't offer any form of comfort. He felt rather like a wounded animal, yet his expression defied this.
Sally blinked through her tears, sighing. "I apologise, Wufei- maybe you don't have the same mind-set as you did during the war. Only you know that. But you are a kid. I wish it didn't have to be that way."
"It doesn't," he answered through clenched teeth.
She was still sobbing, her mascara muddy. "Yes it does. I'm afraid it does. And what am I supposed to do now? What am I good for? You just tried to use me like everyone else does. And when things look okay, you'll move on."
"Is this...is this because I said I didn't need your help?" he replied quietly, lifting his gaze to her tearful eyes. He glimpsed deep hurt in their depths and refused to acknowledge the sting he felt inside.
"You need all the help you can get," Sally shot back, becoming angry again. "Because you're not ready for any relationship. You're just immature if you think you can use a woman! You don't even love me. And you don't even want to. You don't know this first thing about love. Because all you want is yourself. Now promise me you'll never kiss me again! Promise! Now!"
There was definitely something wrong, he thought. She wasn't acting herself at all.
Wufei nodded his agreement, pacing towards the door. He placed his hand on the door handle and turned, his black eyes glittering. "Sally, you're right, I don't know love. I don't know at all. But do you? Are you in any position to help me?"
Sally shook her head. " No, Wufei, so I can't even tell you. You have to find it yourself. That's if you even want to."
He closed the door gently behind him as he left her. Sally turned back to the window. In the pit of her gut hung a heavy weight and a deep ache settled inside her heart. She would have to be gentler on Wufei, it wasn't his fault, she'd thought. He made mistakes, yet so did she....
Yes, perhaps they both were searching for answers. And this wasn't the only occasion they'd searched in the month between the accident and the night of the wedding she'd remembered just then. He'd kissed her since, somehow unable to help himself. She'd surrendered to it for a little while, then each time admonished him as if this wasn't what she wanted. And yet she did want it, she knew she did....she always came back for more. And once again, she would angrily explode on him....like she'd done in the jeep. And she knew what was holding her back. The child of hers, the seed that had been planted inside of her, that should never have been there.
She was older, she should have been more responsible, shouldn't have pulled Wufei in then pushed him away without warning. She had been toying with a young man's emotions, though not deliberately so. Perhaps she was to blame entirely. But she had to push him away, she just had to, or else he might make the same fatal mistake as the other she cared for. As his perfect companion. And she never wanted this as long as she lived.
Months later now, looking out on the black expanse of the sea, she knew neither would ever know the answers. Sally would never know whether Wufei ever really wanted to love her as he was gone. Dead. Whisked from her life. She wondered at this moment if death by heartbreak was really something that only happened in fairytales.
****
It was early morning by the time Sally reluctantly made her way back to the villa. To her surprise, outside the door, stood a surly looking police officer, conversing with Heero. Another, younger officer was stood slightly behind him. She wandered a little nearer, unsure of what was going on. A part of her hardly cared. She noticed Trowa, Duo and Quatre hovering behind their comrade tensely.
"Young man, I am not here to argue with you, I am simply asking for the woman I trust is residing here."
The officer's voice held the typical accent of the area. Heero seemed to be uncooperative. His prussian blue eyes stared coldly into the man's face. " I don't know where she is. She left late last night and has not returned. We can't help you."
The older officer seemed slightly irritable. "Look here son, we've had nothing but harmony on this island for at least a year. We get the odd event such as a drunken brawl, but nothing like this. I am asking for your help. Aren't you four supposed to be Preventer agents? Well you're not doing much of a job are you? Hiding that lady for us. We need to find her....this isn't a game, this could be murder..."
Murder? Sally froze and she felt a knot grip her stomach. They were accusing her of murdering Wufei. Was that why the officers were here? It couldn't be.
Gulping, she broke the bitter silence and stepped towards the door. The policemen turned as she advanced.
"Who are you?" the first demanded, as the willowy woman approached him.
"Sally," she answered calmly.
"Sally Po? The one who was involved with that Chinese guy....Wufei Chang. Your colleague. The one who's dead?"
Dead. The word seared through her, but she lowered her head and nodded. "Yes."
"You've been wandering outside all night, this young man tells me," the elder said, gesturing to Heero. "You can tell, too. You look a fate worse that death - if you'll excuse the pun."
His colleague chuckled under his breath. Did this man think he was somehow funny? Did they really think she was evil? Sally glanced round and caught a glimpse of each of the four faces behind the door. Heero was glaring, regarding the officers resentfully. Trowa's face remained impassive though his emerald eyes were cast harshly upon the two older men. Quatre stared straight ahead, ignoring what was going on around him, shivering despite the heat, whilst Duo had his eyes fixed on Sally. Dark, brooding and full of hurt.
The older officer coughed. "Well, I see we're getting somewhere now. By the way, I am Officer Invorra. This here is Officer Sanchez. We need to ask a few questions of you, Sally Po."
Sally nodded, rubbing her tired eyes. The four pilots who were obstructing the doorway stood aside as the policemen made their way into the villa. Sally followed and they seated themselves in the lounge, opposite her.
"If you don't mind, could we have a few moments alone with this woman?"
The four young men nodded and sullenly made their way outside. Invorra turned to Sally, pen and paper in hand. Once out of earshot of the others, namely Heero, all pleasantry escaped him.
"We had a call at the station from the infirmary late last night. Apparently, a young Chinese man - a Preventer died earlier that day," the officer explained harshly. "Dr Julius, the man we spoke to, said Mr Chang was in a serious condition, one they hadn't quite realised when he was admitted. He also told me the accident could have happened under suspicious circumstances..."
Sally felt light-headed, and should she have eaten breakfast, she was sure it would have been brought up at this moment in time. Her stomach was lurching and her hands clammy. She could barely focus on his words.
"You, woman - are you listening to me?"
"Yes, Wufei."
"Pardon me but my name is Officer Invorra."
"And my name is Sally."
"I know what your name is," he retorted. "You listen now! I want you to tell me EXACTLY what happened on Sunday the 17th of May, the day Preventer Wufei Chang was admitted to hospital."
Sally glanced down at the floor. What had happened? A part of her felt as if perhaps she should be punished, after all, if she had not abandoned Wufei, they could have dealt with the problems with their vehicle together, and he would still be with her now.
Invorra was impatient. Sanchez smirked. "Thought of a decent excuse yet?"
Sally shook her head, her jaw trembling, tears threatening to spill. "Nothing....nothing happened...."
"I find that hard to believe!" Invorra snorted. "Young Mr Chang suffers a stroke related to his head injuries, and dies before he had even reached twenty years of age. You told the hospital you had knocked him over with the jeep. You told them there was a fault with the vehicle you were driving. Perhaps they were willing to give you the benefit of the doubt, but the kid's dead now. Death, it changes everything."
Sally wondered why suddenly this Dr.Julius wanted the police on her case so hastily.
The room was spinning then, Sally was sure of it. "The jeep....there was a fault."
"But that doesn't explain how Mr Chang, who should have been inside the jeep, managed to be mowed down from behind, does it?"
"He...he wasn't inside."
"We know that, young lady. Dr Julius said his injuries were caused by a vehicle which had struck him from a distance. So don't go telling us he was 'just checking the wheels' or nothing like that. And that doesn't explain how the jeep just drove itself into him, does it?"
How could Sally tell him the real reason Wufei had gotten out of the jeep? That she had forced him out. Sally herself couldn't explain why the vehicle had lurched out of her control and it was not a convincing argument.
"I was reversing and it...just went out of my control...maybe something up with the accelerator," she answered weakly. "I don't know why. These things just happen sometimes, don't they?"
"Yeah, when you're trying to save your ass," the officer retorted. "This looks very suspicious to me, Ms Po. Very suspicious, in fact."
Sally clenched her jaw. There was nothing she could say or do which would convince these men otherwise. They'd obviously prematurely made up their minds she was guilty.
"Well," she answered. "I expect the faulty jeep was towed back to the hiring garage in this town where I got it from. My signature will be there next to the registration of the jeep loaned. You can trace the jeep and investigate on it...look for a fault. Surely mechanics there will know, won't they?"
"Ah..yes, we're getting to that," Officer Invorra stated smugly. "Late last night, the very same night since you found Preventer Chang had passed away from the accident induced injuries...the garage was gutted with flames. Completely. Burnt out all the vehicles in there and any hiring records, or records of faults with any of the vehicles."
"So...?"
"So somebody has tried to hide any evidence the police might use, haven't they? That in fact, there was nothing WRONG with the vehicle at all."
"Ever heard of a coincidence?" Sally snapped.
"Yeah...and have you ever heard of C.C.T.V?" Sanchez retorted. "A camera on the building nearby caught sight of a suspicious figure...more likely to be a woman...retreating from the flames. Masked and disguised of course."
"So are you trying to say I plotted to burn the garage down? Myself? To hide the evidence?" Sally almost spluttered, though managing to remain as self-composed as she could. "And just how would I do that?"
Invorra cut in: "Can I ask you a question? Where were you last night, Miss Po? Out and about? Not here in this villa, that can be confirmed. So what does that tell us?"
Sally growled. "I cannot believe you'd jump to such ridiculous conclusions!"
Officer Invorra hadn't finished yet; "We understand you are a member of the Preventers - we got in contact with the head - Chief Une. She expressed great shock at our decision to hold you here in custody..."
Sally's eyes snapped to his. They were dark orbs, compassionless. "Custody?" she breathed.
"Yes, Ms Po," Officer Sanchez spoke up. "We are arresting you in connection with the death of Wufei Chang. Anything you do or say may be used against you."
"In other words, keep your mouth shut," Invorra warned, his eyes glinting. He was enjoying this, Sally could tell.
"I...I'd never....never...harm Wufei," the woman protested, feeling rather like a cat cornered by two rabid dogs. " You...you have it wrong...you can't arrest me...I have a duty as a Preventer agent."
"And we have duties as members of the island police force," Sanchez argued. "Chief Une presented the argument that you are a respectable person who is even-tempered and certainly has no history of aggression or mental instability. Would you agree, Ms Po?"
Sally was silent. She didn't know her own self at this moment.
"But," interjected Officer Invorra, "We got hold of a copy of your official records from Chief Une, who wasn't particularly co-operative at first over the phone, probably trying to protect your name. She e-mailed them to us. They informed us you were once a member of a resistance group before joining the Preventers, but before that, you were a Major with the Alliance, were you not?"
Sally nodded. She couldn't very well lie.
"Tut, tut," Invorra mocked. "So you certainly have a history of involvement in war and violence."
"But it was for good! " Sally answered, not about to let them crush her.
"The UESA? Good? I don't think so."
"Not the Alliance, my work since then."
"Yeah yeah," Sanchez interjected. "But what we're getting at is - if you have been in trained in the military - mobile suits, heavy artillery and the like - a simple act like killing a person with a jeep is childsplay. You've been trained to take lives."
"No! You're wrong!" Sally stated, inwardly pleading with these men. "I have been trained to fight, and no doubt wars involve deaths. No-one can dispute that. But that does not mean I condone it. I fought for peace, you can't use my previous history as evidence in this case."
"Don't tell us how to do our job, Ms Po," Invorra answered, his voice dangerously low.
"You don't even know I have a motive," Sally sneered, undaunted. These men did not want justice in this situation, they wanted something new and 'exciting' to interest them in their otherwise mediocre lives. "There is no reason for me to do such a thing like kill my colleague, is there?"
"You tell us. That's what we're going to investigate, but for now, we'll be holding you in the basement of the island station. For safe keeping."
Sally winced as Officer Sanchez rose and clamped the cold handcuffs around her wrists, forcing them painfully behind her back. He noticed the bandages tied around them. Then he said something to his colleague in their own tongue.
"Well well well, a nice selection of fresh scratches and scrapes on these wrists of yours," Invorra stated, removing the material and holding up one of the woman's arms for his partner to view. "Suicide? Mental instability? This doesn't look good, Sally Po. Not good at all."
From then on, everything was a blur. Sally barely noticed the youths' responses as the two police officers marched her outside to a waiting truck. It wasn't the manhandling that got to her, she was used to mens rough treatment - it was the piercing of her dignity. The wound would be slow to heal, she feared. But she did not cry. No, she would never cry for them. Never.
"It's not right, it's not right," Quatre gasped suddenly, gripping his head, tufts of flaxen hair twisted round his fingers. "It's not how it should be, it's not. I can feel it. There's something wrong."
"Get a grip, Quatre," Duo insisted, jabbing him in the side with an elbow. "The police are checking this out. We're gonna get justice for Wu's death."
"Trowa," Heero whispered as the truck disappeared down the dirt road, clouds of dust tailing behind it.
"What is it, Heero?" the auburn haired boy asked solemnly.
"I'm not satisfied this is what Wufei would call justice. Quatre's right. I can sense it too," Heero admitted. "I wish to remain here with Sally. Killing a Preventer is a serious offence, you know how precious these agents are to our society nowadays. She won't be allowed bail."
Quatre was shuddering now and beads of sweat were emerging on his forehead, dampening his bangs. Trowa reached to steady him as his balance wavered.
"You can't stay, Heero, what about Wufei's funeral?" Duo inquired, becoming slightly distressed at Quatre's behaviour. "We're supposed to be leaving this place in a couple of days so we can bring the casket back to the Preventers for the ceremony."
Heero brushed a hand over his forehead. "That is so," he replied. "But I will return. And I shall be informing Lady Une that this is a mission I have assigned myself on."
"I don't see what's so wrong," Duo replied. "We heard those cops as we were listening through the door - it seems so obvious Sally was to blame. She couldn't even justify herself."
Quatre and Trowa turned, surprised that Duo was suddenly thinking of blaming Sally after all.
"You don't know Sally Po as I do," Heero answered calmly, yet slightly bitterly. "I am not saying she wasn't a part of the accident. It's more to do with her dealings with Wufei which I am interested in."
Duo and Quatre felt themselves flush in turn. Both knew they had read Wufei's letter to Sally, though neither would dare admit to the other two they had done what Heero had forbidden.
"It may be best if Duo and Quatre stay at the headquarters once we have returned," Trowa spoke up after a tense pause. " I'll accompany you, Heero on your mission back here."
Both stoic young men reached a mutual agreement that this would be best. Duo and Quatre's thoughts had turned to the funeral held once they'd returned. It would be a difficult, if not emotional occasion for them all. Emotions didn't have to show themselves, but they existed. And since the war, the old wounds of death and misery would be opened up again for all previously involved.
"C'mon, Quatre," Duo sighed angrily, taking his friend by the shoulders and guiding him back into the villa. "Let's leave the serious stuff to those two. At least we'll be the ones mourning for Wufei and not for Sally Po."
Heero knew he owed it to Sally to help her out of this dilemma. And he owed it to Wufei. Perhaps it could be his only way of saying sorry, as if it might make up for what he did which seemed like so long ago now.
************
TBC