My first Hetalia ficlet ever! ;; Dedicated to a pairing I love very much. It's very vague, but I hope it's even somehow accurate...

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Being his favorite, Toris gets to (gets? No, has to) be close to Ivan. Every day.

And every day, he witnesses how the man slowly goes insane.

Just by being around him, he can see it, feel it, sense it: the aura of madness growing. Ivan gets harsher, yet sweeter day by day. And scarier. Toris fears him, but he's not alone: everyone fears him. You can never know what he might do next. And Toris especially fears him because he's the favorite; the one given the most attention by this fearsome country.

He fears him, but Ivan tells him it's alright: he doesn't blame him for fearing him, it's alright, he actually likes seeing him quivering in fear, shaking, terror in his eyes, unsure what to say because he never knows when the other might snap. And Toris fears him even more.

And whenever Ivan kisses him, he fears, but in a strange way he doesn't: it's almost comfortable. Ivan tastes like vodka and cold and isolation and also like dreams of warmth and sunflowers and... more dreams.

It's the one thing about Ivan that is not scary: his dreams.

Toris doesn't know how, but somehow, admist his fear, he's come to care for this person, more than he should.

And yet he can do nothing to keep him from going mad.