Raise

1. /reɪz/: To build up.

Lillian Private School for girls. A garden for maidens.

Another year, but the school looked exactly the same. Same front gate, same trees lining the long path, same gaggles of girls in their perfect pleated skirts with rosaries looped around their pretty pale necks, giggling and chatting and worrying and whispering and smiling. The features were different: a new crop of first-years, just as blushingly fresh-faced as the last, but the feeling was the same. New year, new start.

But there was something different here. It wasn't anything that any of the other girls noticed, even the odd second or third year passing by and nodding their greetings. It, in fact, would only have appeared to one particular third year, who would have stopped, watched for a moment, and realised, but she wasn't here right now, so it went unnoticed, unmarked.

Well, perhaps that wasn't true. If Maria-sama was really looking down on them, really listening, then she would have heard too. Nonetheless, whether she was or wasn't, the girl stood in front of her statue with her head bowed and her hands clasped wasn't giving away any secrets. The thing that would have given her away to that one girl would have been the straight set of her shoulders, how tightly her eyes were shut, almost hidden under her long fringe.

But Todou Shimako wasn't there.

So on this morning, the first of the new school year, no one else noticed that today, Nijou Noriko was really, honestly praying.

It was the call the night before that had done it.

They'd spoken politely to each other, of course; she was rewarded with the sound of her onee-sama's breathy laugh once or twice, and she had to admit, it had made her smile. The usual questions, the usual pauses. They talked about the gardening club and a movie they'd seen. The New Year, the school council, Yoshino's petite soeur, Yumi.

Yes, the usual; and along with that the usual things that were not said between them that were now almost familiar enough to be comfortable. They might skirt close, once or twice, but one of them would breathe in, deeply, unconsciously, and they would move away from it again, back to things that were safe.

It was almost comfortable.

Almost.

And then she'd stopped, all of a sudden, and said:

Noriko.

And Noriko knew, immediately, when Shimako said her name like that, what it meant.

It…I….

As she stumbled, actually stumbled, over her words, she knew it was coming. Of course it was, they hadn't talked about it and now they were going to, she should have felt relieved, really, but instead it felt as if someone had walked over her grave…

When we got caught in the rain, that time--

I'm sorry.

…You don't have to apologise.

But I've been thinking about it. It's like you said, Sh—onee-sama. Remember? You said, I don't want things to change. And…I feel the same way.

There was a long pause, long enough for Noriko's heart to sink down to her toes, listening to the faint crackle on the line, waiting with the phone to her ear.

Yes, you're right. I did say that.

Noriko had stared into the distance for a moment, processing that, before it finally caught up with her.

Shi—

I'm sorry, Noriko, I won't keep you. I apologise for calling so late.

No no, that's fine, it's just—

We'll see each other tomorrow, won't we?

…Yes, onee-sama.

I suppose I needn't have called, really, but…well, anyway. Sleep well, Noriko.

You too. Good night…Shimako-san.

Good night…I'm glad I got to speak to you.

And with that the line went dead, leaving Noriko holding the phone with the dial tone buzzing in her ear, a million and one thoughts looping round in her head.

Some of this passed through her mind as she stood there, and on impulse she opened her eyes and looked Maria-sama in the face as she made her final prayer.

Maria-sama,

Give me the strength to make a new start.

Give me the strength to talk about this to her, because we can't go on like this, not talking, not really.

Please—please—don't let me have ruined it this time.

Amen.

Well, that was that. There was no heavenly sign, no wink from Maria-sama (which was maybe just as well), so she turned away feeling a little lighter.

It had been the phone call that had done it. They'd been going along like they always did, back to the normality of before, how it had been at the very beginning of the summer and that was nice in its own way, she wouldn't want to lose that, but then she had stopped and said Noriko…and it all came back.

(I did say that.

I'm glad I got to speak to you.)

(Butwhat did that mean?)

After waking up for the third time in the night for no reason, she decided that she was going to talk to Shimako about it. They could possibly go on like this, but…she just didn't want to. Not now the other girl had brought it up again…and didn't that mean that she wanted to talk about it, too?

She was afraid, though.

A new start, and a second chance. It wasn't too much to ask. And even if she didn't actually have a chance, she could at least say she tried, and finally put the whole thing behind her. But it was worth a try, wasn't it? Wasn't Shimako worth that?

(Pale skin cherry-blossom lips a halo of golden-brown hair arms outstretched embracing the empty air as if she could as if she could bring some of the place inside herself and maybe disappear her feet were barely touching the ground who was she and I didn't know her name I didn't need to because I was drowning in everything that was her and anyway it was in that moment I was sure it had to be didn't it, Maria-sama)

Yes, thought Noriko, she was worth at least that.

So she turned away from Maria-sama and began to walk away when she caught sight of something out of the corner of her eye.

And suddenly it seemed as if her heart was going to burst out of her chest. What was this feeling? Her feet began to move and she didn't stop them; she bowed her head let her fringe sweep across her eyes, tried to stop the thing that was very much like panic spreading through her.

Yes, they had to talk: but what would she say?

Not now, she thought. I'll do it, but….not now.

Just one more day. That's all she needed. One more day, she'd think of something to say, and she'd do it. It could wait. But it would be no good to turn round now and find herself blurting something out, unplanned, and everything going wrong, because she was just not honestly sure she could control herself, not after what happened.

Noriko walked away and didn't look back.

Lillian Private School for girls. A garden for maidens.

There was another thing a little different today.

It wasn't anything that any of the other girls noticed, even the odd second or third year passing by and nodding their greetings. It, in fact, would only have appeared to one particular second year.

So no one saw Shimako follow her petite soeur with her eyes as the other girl walked quickly away, not looking at her, and no one saw the look that passed over her face, for a split second, wiping away the calm mask that was her smile. It was gone in a moment, though; the normal Rosa Gigantea stood there, serene, and walked forward to Maria-sama with the same measured step as always.

And perhaps even Noriko herself wouldn't have noticed the tiniest of shadows under the older girl's eyes

2. /reɪz/: To tear down.

A/N: Marimite: it's not mine. Just in case any of you were confused.
Right guys, I hope you enjoyed the first chapter of Raise. If you did, drop us a line, if you didn't, do it anyway. Seriously, reviews make the world go round, folks, or at least they do in these here parts. Criticism of any type would be absolutely wonderful, go mad. I don't care if it's one line or twenty, whatever you put will be recieved with love. ;)

Anyway, here we are, first chapter, more to come. Thanks for reading, thanks in advance for reviewing, and sit tight for updates!