My dearest writers of the Sonny With A Chance fanfiction archive,

It has been brought to my attention that you, my lovely authors, have been duped into believing that there is an existing show entitled Sonny With A Chance. I can guarantee you that there is no such show. As far as I'm concerned, cameras most definitely do not follow me, or the So Random! cast around. I, the king of drama and all that is righteous, would know if I was being stalked by a camera crew. The mere idea of having everything I do tape recorded and then witnessed by some imaginary viewers is absolutely unfathomable. It is quite impossible.

Before carrying on with reading this, please excuse any grammatical errors or spelling errors that may show up. I know you will excuse it because I am Chad Dylan Cooper, and Chad Dylan Cooper doesn't do grammar or spelling.

Now, to address some excruciatingly important points.

I have taken it upon myself to analyze what you writers believe personifies me, Chad Dylan Cooper. Every one on here seems to think that I am an egocentric, pig-headed, self-absorbed, overly-dramatic jerk. You (and yes, I mean you) are convinced that I am, as some of you put it, a bad boy with a misunderstood side that no one else seems to understand.

And then, as if that's not bad enough, you write me as having this overwhelmingly unhealthy obsession with Sonny Munroe. What is it with you people? You think I like the little Wisconsin girl? (I mean yes, she does have pretty hair and a charming laugh and a bright smile and an optimistic personality and she's easy to get along with -if I tried, that is- and she's the most beautiful person -inside and out- that I've ever seen and she makes me want to be a better person and my heart races whenever I'm around her and... but besides all that...) I'm written basically as a love-struck fool who can't seem to say three simple words to the girl I supposedly like.

So here's where I'm going to help you guys out.

I'll give you a legitimate example of how you should really write me, Chad Dylan Cooper, star of America's Hit Tween Drama, Mackenzie Falls.

Chad Dylan Cooper is such a nice, wonderful, kind, understanding person. He is not absorbed only in himself. He takes time out of his precious day to build doghouses for dogs. Isn't that swell? He's so absolutely amazing. Everyone loves him. And he loves everybody equally.

He is also not head-over heels in love with Sonny Munroe. And if he were in love with her, he'd be able to confess his feelings with great ease and elegance. But he doesn't. So he won't. He likes her just as a friend, just like how he likes Blondie, Rainy, Cloudy and lil' Pip Squeak. They're all his friends. Just like he's friends with everyone on Mackenzie Falls. He's a wonderful, kind, amazing friend with all his cast mates. He does not think that Portlyn is stupid. She's just...different, in a stupid way. But he still likes her as a friend. He's a friend to EVERYBODY! (even drooling dogs)

And that is how you all should describe me when creating those little stories of yours. Not an ego maniac, alright? Because the above example is the real me, so you all should get that into your heads now, before writing any more 'bad Chad' stories.

Another important point I'd like to address is when you lovely authors are describing my physical features. Please be aware that I am not exactly a 'buff' guy. Although I know I have handsomely lean muscles, I'm no where near 'weight-lifter' material. My eyes are gray-blue. Not sea-blue, not sky-blue, definitely not sapphire blue, but GRAY-BLUE. They're a unique color and I know you all want to have my eyes. I also do not have porcelain skin. Isn't porcelain, like, white? (I know that because it's one of the colors that you can have your teeth bleached) I have my make-up artists give me a peachy undertone so I shouldn't exactly be pale. If everyone here thinks I need more color, then please tell me and I'll notify my manager to fire the make-up assistants. And finally, that brings me to my hair. It's a wonderful sandy color. It has just the right volume and length. I love my hair.

Here's how you should describe my Adonis-like figure:

Chad Dylan Cooper has handsomely lean muscles (NOT weight-lifter material). His eyes are gray-blue, he doesn't have pale skin -more of a peachy tone- and his hair is a wonderful sandy color with just the right amount of volume and length.

This finally brings us to my family life. Ah yes, this is a personal matter that I, Chad Dylan Cooper, star of America's Hit Tween Drama, Mackenzie Falls, is generously sharing with all of you.

Well, actually, no I'm not. Just read sonnycentral's story "Chummy With The Coopers" and you can get a pretty accurate idea of what my family is like. Wow. One person wrote one thing about me right. So good job and thumbs up for you, gal. Or not gal. Boy. Yes, possibly boy. But I don't really know. Whatever, Chad Dylan Cooper does not bother himself with such petty details.

So this brings an end to "How To Write Chad Dylan Cooper". I'm completely sure now that you have all read this (and you know you have) you will go out there and write wonderful, ACCURATE stories about me, Chad Dylan Cooper, star of America's Hit Tween Drama, Mackenzie Falls.

Huh. I've said that three times so far in this little letter. That's not too much, right? Heck no, in fact, I'll say it once more. Chad Dylan Cooper, star of America's Hit Tween Drama, Mackenzie Falls. Ah. Perfect.

So what are you waiting for? Get out there and write about me.

Yours Truly,

Chad Dylan Cooper

(Star of Mackenzie Falls, America's Hit Tween Drama -mixed it up a little there- (And yes, I said it five times. So ha.))

P.S. Don't forget to watch Mackenzie Falls! Thank you tweens!