Chapter 8

For the next week, Nyota could not get a proper night's rest to save her life. Class with Spock had been tortuous enough, but as she was so used to putting nothing before her studies, she was able to concentrate during class sessions. Then came the dreaded day when she knew that Spock's future wife was here, on Earth, with him. That was her worst night. She tossed and turned, images of Spock and T'Pring spending time together attacking her thoughts moment after moment. She could just see it, Spock showing her around, making sure she was comfortable, giving her attention that Nyota wanted for herself, discussing their marriage plans. And just where was T'Pring staying? With Spock? He certainly had enough room. If T'Pring was staying in a hotel, it was only common courtesy for Spock to drop her off. Would he kiss her goodnight? Would he mind meld with her? Would she invite him in? Was it customary for Vulcans to consummate a marriage before the actual event took place?

Nyota didn't know. She didn't know anything about what Spock was doing because she had not talked to him except for the brief phone call last week. She hadn't seen him outside of class, and the sad thing was, she was going to have to get used to it. Spock's father wanted him on Vulcan, and Spock seemed so eager to respect his father's wishes. Nyota had no place on Vulcan, and she was human. Soon, he would probably leave for good, and she'd never see him again.

It wasn't like he didn't tell me. It wasn't like he didn't try to stop me, she told herself for the millionth time. You were the one who insisted. You were.

Nyota felt miserable, and that wasn't a good thing as she still had four finals before it was all over with and assignments were posted. Only the top graduates stood a chance for Enterprise, and if she didn't get herself together, she wasn't going to stand that chance.

She shed only a few tears in the shower as she got ready for her day. She'd been doing so much of that lately, and the worst part was hiding it from everyone. She couldn't talk to anyone about what was going on, not even Gaila. If anyone got wind that she'd actually slept with a Professor that she was taking classes from, well, that'd be the end of both their careers. She'd been halfway lucky as far as her roommate was concerned, because Gaila was studying like mad as well, and unlike Nyota, Gaila's preference was the campus library instead of the room. At least Nyota had the opportunity to cry in peace.

She put on her uniform slowly, feeling like she was in slow motion, then picked up her PADD carrying case with a sigh and dragged herself to her last official class with Spock before her final exam. She deliberately dawdled on her way, making sure she would not be the first one there, as usual.

Nyota kept her head down as she entered the classroom and went up the first few rows of the auditorium created classroom to find a seat close to the back. As she plopped down in the cushioned chair and flipped her desk top up and around the front of the seat, she let out another sigh, knowing it was no longer possible to avoid looking towards the front room, where Spock would be as he always was, waiting for class to begin.

But wait, something wasn't right with this picture.

Nyota suddenly sat up straight, her eyes positively glued to the scene before her. To her absolute horror, Spock was not alone in his usual spot behind his desk. A woman was sitting in his chair, and Spock was talking to her, leaning over her, showing her something on his PADD!

It was T'Pring; it had to be. And she was beautiful. Nyota's eyes blurred with tears she could not control, not this time as she studied the long, chestnut colored hair of Spock's fiancé, elaborately pinned into place. She was a slightly darker olive than Spock, but her skin appeared equally flawless. Her cheekbones were high and she was poised, even sitting.

Nyota felt a tightening in her chest, almost as if she was having a heart attack; she had to gasp for air. This couldn't be happening, this wasn't real, she wasn't seeing this…

Spock turned at that exact moment, his hand abruptly going to his chest. He turned to look at the class; it took less than two seconds for his eyes to focus in on hers. It was the final straw for Nyota. She had to get out of here, now.

She jumped from her seat, and began making her way back to the center aisle towards her escape from torture. "Excuse me…excuse me…" she whispered forcefully as she maneuvered down the tight walkway past her classmates as fast as she could. The carrying case for her PADD banged rudely against the backs of her legs, the straps getting tangled on the chairs as if attempting to hold her back. She yanked hard; the strap snapped off. Her PADD case dropped to the floor with a crash, and her stylus rolled out, along with one of her zip drives.

"Shit!" she cried. She grabbed her PADD and left the case tangled on the seat, ignoring the curious eyes that were on her.

"Good morning, Cadets," she heard. Double shit, he was starting class! "If you will take out your PADDs, and open the Study Guide file, we can begin our final review for your examination. I have made some adjustments, as I received word that a copy of the exam was being distributed among fourth years."

Nyota practically ran down the steps, and pushed the door open, letting it slam closed in her haste to get away from that room as soon as possible. Clutching her PADD against her chest, she raced towards the nearest Ladies Room.

The bathroom was empty, which meant there was a corner stall available. Nyota threw herself into it, locking the small door behind her, and sank to the floor, where she leaned her head against her knees, and wept.

Someone was knocking on the door. Nyota was rudely interrupted from her state of depressed, fitful sleep. She held her breath, waiting for the knocking to stop. When it didn't, she cursed.

"Gaila? Could you get that please?" she called out. Nyota had been in the bed all day and had planned on staying there until the morning.

As she sat up in bed, she saw that the small living quarters the girls shared was dark. Gaila didn't answer her, which meant she wasn't home.

Nyota scowled as she pushed back her sheets and grabbed a long robe to put on over her over sized tee shirt.

It had to be Jim, damn him. He'd really been hounding her ever since that stupid kiss…

But when she opened the door, it wasn't Jim standing there, it was Spock.

She gasped, feeling a range of emotions at once, some she was sure there was no name for. She absentmindedly ran a hand over her hair; she must have looked awful. Crazy, even.

"May I come in?" Spock asked her.

"Yes," she said, stepping aside. She closed the door behind him, feeling dizzy. Then it hit her, why he had come. Of course, he was here to reprimand her privately for ditching class. She started to ramble. "I know what I did today, leaving like that, it wasn't…I mean, I just felt a little sick…I'm not worried about the final. I can get the notes from someone, and I'm going to study all day tomorrow. I–"

"I did not come to discuss your departure from class today. Though I did wish to return to you the items you dropped on your way out," Spock said, handing over her carrying case, stylus and zip drive.

She felt like an idiot. "Thank you," she said quietly, taking her things. She put the carrying case down and turned to drop the stylus and zip drive into a bowl on the little table next to her. She straightened up, taking a deep breath to calm herself down. She had to get it together. He wasn't going to do this, make her lose her mind.

Spock said nothing, but stepped closer to her, and took her by surprise when he grabbed her hand, his eyes intent upon her. She could feel herself trembling all over as she looked up at him.

"What have you done to me?" he whispered, his eyes burning into her.

Nyota shook her head. "What have I done? I'm the one suffering. I'm the one who can't even look at you with her. I'm the one crying myself to sleep at night. You're the one getting married to someone else–"

Spock suddenly pulled her against him in a crushing embrace, his arms so powerful around her that she could barely breathe. She was so desperate for this, for him to do this, and ached to cling to him, to never have to let go. Yet she had to. He was not hers.

"Please, don't," she begged, trying to back away, "…don't…I can't…it hurts too much…"

Spock held her tighter still. "Do not turn me away, Nyota. I will do anything you ask. But let me stay with you…" he begged. He dropped to his knees before her, hugging her legs tightly, his face pressed against the material of her robe.

She didn't know what he was doing, what he was saying or why he was here when T'Pring would be on Earth for another three days, but in this moment, she didn't care. She too knelt down, straddling him, and covering his mouth with hers. She hoped he could feel that she was giving him all she had. She had felt dead until this moment, when she was wrapped around him.

His hands were already on her, and he yanked at her robe, nearly ripping it off. She gasped as she felt his warm hands sliding under her tee shirt, feeling her naked breasts. Everything was happening so fast, and she thought for a fleeting second how embarrassing it would be if Gaila were to walk in, but then Spock was touching her between her legs, peeling her underwear down, and she didn't give a damn about Gaila anymore, or the Starfleet rules or anything else except him, the two of them together. She pulled her tee shirt over her head, and stopped only for a second to strip herself from her panties. After she'd pushed them down her legs, she stood naked before her lover.

Spock stopped, breathing hard. She watched him as he too stood, then pulled his the shirt of his uniform over his head. He took his pants down and the under shorts he wore and then took a step towards her, putting his hands on her waist, pressing his fingers into her skin. He made her body feel as if it were on fire. He wanted to love her again; something was different about this time though.

"I cannot be without you," he said. "I am finished trying."

Nyota hurled herself at him, and he caught her, scooping her up, guiding her legs around his waist. He kissed her, passionately, and she felt if he didn't enter her soon, she would burst. She didn't need to vocalize her words; he knew. Holding her close, kissing her the entire time, he carried her to the back room, and lay her down on her bed.

"I love you," she whispered to him. He responded by pushing himself inside of her, all the way, making her cry out.

"I need you," he breathed, his body hovering over hers for only a moment before he brought them together with another thrust that filled her completely. "I love you, Nyota…"

Her eyes drifted close as she lost herself again, but this time in a world with Spock instead of without.

Afterwards, Nyota cuddled against Spock's smooth, hard chest. Their intimate moments were the only time he was tender, and as close to being fully human as he would ever get, she supposed.

"I should not be here this late. We cannot risk being caught when your roommate returns," Spock said softly. Nyota tilted her head up and kissed him on the neck.

"You asked me to stay. So stay. If Gaila's not back by now, she's not coming back until the morning," she said.

Spock gently pulled away from her, making a move to get off of the bed. Nyota sat up, confused. "What are you doing, Spock?"

"We must not risk it," he repeated.

"So you're just going to leave?" she demanded. She was starting to get upset now; she would expect that Jim did this sort of thing to girls all the time, but Spock was not Jim, nowhere near.

"Correct. I am going to return to my place of residence–"

"Wait a minute, you told me–"

"–and you will come with me. We will not worry about being interrupted there. We have much to discuss, but we can do so after your exams. My quarters are in closer proximity to the library, and you will have to go there to download the study guide for my exam. I cannot allow you to bypass the final, no matter how devoted to you I am."

Nyota felt herself blush like mad, and could not control her smile. As she started to get dressed, she hated to ask, but had to.

"What happened to T'Pring? That was her in class today, wasn't it? Where is she?"

"On her way back to Vulcan, of course. She and I are in similar situations. We both wish to make our lifelong commitment to another. We parted ways amicably. She came more for our family's sake. She will tell her parents of her preferred choice upon her return to Vulcan. I have not yet determined when to tell my parents," Spock said, and then added, "Do not forget your zip drive, Nyota. It would also be in your best interest to bring the textbooks you need for your finals. What examination do you have tomorrow?"

"I don't have any tomorrow. I have one class at twelve. I'll study after that." Nyota rushed to gather everything she would need to spend the night with Spock, her mind in a feverish haze of love and lust. She was dancing on air.

"Is this a trick?" she asked him as she grabbed her keys from the counter.

"It is against Vulcan nature to 'trick'. I find the very idea nonsense," Spock said. He picked up her armload of books with no effort at all. "If anyone happens to notice us, it should appear we are working diligently on assignments."

"Why don't you leave first, and then I'll follow you after a few minutes?"

"I will escort you wherever you go. I will not leave you again. This is my promise to you. Perhaps I should add, the offer stands for as long as you chose me as a partner. If you should ever change your mind, then I–"

"I'll never. I don't want anyone else," Nyota interrupted him. Breaking it off once was enough.

"Then it is my duty to see to it that you are always safe. I will always be there to protect you. Nothing will keep me from being by your side," he said.

"Am I dreaming?" Nyota wondered aloud.

"I cannot answer that, as I do not dream. I apologize," Spock said. Together, they left her quarters.

"I love you," Nyota repeated. He looked at her, nodding. "The feeling is mutual," he responded, and it was all there, in his eyes. It would be a rarity to hear those words, she knew. It certainly helped that with the two of them, words weren't necessary.

She had a lot of studying to do before the end of the week, as she'd only taken one of her six exams.

But there was time to do that. She had a few more make up sessions with Spock to attend to first.

A/N: That's it for this one! Thank you for reading/reviewing! I hoped you enjoyed it.