Entry 1

I am seriously worried about the state of Aizen-sama's sanity. Why? Because:

1.) Aizen-sama has ordered me to write in this piece of trash. Commonly known as a 'journal'.

2.) Aizen-sama has also assined me a fracción. She's currently sitting in the corner of my room and giggiling to herself about how she will steal my 'diary' and post it's entries on a website called ''.

I think she's deaf. She calls me 'Ulqi-kun' even though I have told her to adress me as Ulquiorra-sama. And she calls my journal a diary. It is not a diary. It is a journal.

I'm going to take her to Szayel Aporro so she can have her hearing cheaked.

Entry 2

If I say that the visit to the eighth Espasda went badly, it would be a huge understatement.

When we arrived to Szayel's room, he was… having his 'afternoon snack'. AKA: he was eating one of his fracción. Again.

Apparently, my trashy fracción has never seen Aporro eat his fracción. So she fainted when she stepped into his room and saw two skinny legs sticking out of his wouth and his room covered in blood.

An hour after she fainted, Szayel did the hearing test with her and -surprisingly- she passed. Now, the eighth Espasda is obsessed with doing tests on live orginissisms. So, he wanted to keep my trashy fracción for another hour to preform more tests.

When I came back to get her, Aporro told me something that I did not want to hear: she needed glasses. Isin't that fantastic?

Entry 3

Word to the wise: do not let your trashy fracción have 'Coca Puffs' for breakfast. You will regret it. Please don't ask why.

Yesterday, I got permission from Aizen-sama to go to the human world. He accepted, so this morning, me and my trashy fracción went to a trashy human store called 'Wal-Mart' to get her a pair of glasses. I had intended for this trip to be short and quick. Unfortanatly, it wasn't.

First of all, she wanted to make sure her glasses were absolutly 'perfect'. This ment that she had to try on every pair until she found the right ones. She proceeded to ask me what I thought of the pair of glasses she was wearing. When she realized that I was going to call all the pairs trash (because all the pairs were trash) she began to ask random people in the store what they thought of the pair she was wearing. In the end, she chose rectangular green ones. "They match your eyes, Ulqi-kun!" she had told me.

Second of all, she demanded that I buy her ice crème. This is what I told her: "Ice crème is trash." All she did was stare at me like I had just popped my eyeball out of it's socket. She wouldn't stop until I bought her the ice crème.

Lastly, she made me buy headphones. They were the old-fashioned kind. "why would you want that trash?" I asked her. "For decoration." She replied.

Whatever that means.