So, I came back. I know I said I was done with the story, but some of you told me to write an epilogue, because it would bring a good closure to the story and I agreed. Besides, I realized I'd left some issues unresolved, like whether Meredith would want to have another baby, or not.

It took me a while, because I didn't want to ruin the story with a crappy epilogue (which, by the way, turned out to be longer than I expected), so I really hope you'll like this.

"It's been thirty five minutes, Dr Grey," the nurse said as Meredith kept doing CPR. She was tired and big drops of sweat were falling down her forehead.

She knew it was over, but for some reason she couldn't stop.

"She's not gonna die on me, she'll make it. She'll make it, come one Amanda, come on," Meredith whispered, more to herself than to anyone else in the room.

"Dr Grey," Miranda said warningly.

"Dr Bailey, she can still-"

"Dr Grey!" Meredith looked up at her with hopeless, tired eyes. She knew what she had to do. "Call it, Dr Grey."

Meredith looked back down at the woman lying in front of her.

She was just thirty nine years old and now she was dead because of some drunken twenty-year-old who had survived with only a few cuts on his face and a cast. She hated that about her job sometimes, she got to see all the unfairness in the world.

"Time of death, 6:17," she said as she stumbled backwards and left the body for the nurses to clean it. "I have to go and tell her family," she said, her voice weaker and quieter than what she had hoped.

Amanda had a husband and two kids, they were ten and fourteen and now she had to go and tell them her mom was dead.

"I'll do that. Take a break, Grey."

"I have to do it, Dr Bailey. I told them I'd do everything I could and-"

"And you did, but right now, you're in no shape to go and talk to the family."

"Dr Bailey-"

"I said take a break, Meredith. You got too involved. Look at you, you're a mess. Go, get it together, I'll go talk to Mr. Dawson."

Miranda was right, she had got too involved. She liked the woman, she was nice and funny. Her kids were sweet; they loved her mother so much. And her husband was a good man.

There was something about the way he looked at their children that reminded her of Derek's look when they used to ponder about what would life be like, once they had a kid of their own.

But those conversations had taken place a lifetime ago, or at least it felt like it.

She went to the bathroom and looked at herself in the mirror. She had bags under her eyes, which were now filled with tears, she was pale and her lips were red. She looked like crap. She hadn't been sleeping much in the last couple of weeks and today had been especially awful.

She needed something to cheer her up.

She hadn't been up there in a while and it would probably make her think about all the things she didn't want to be thinking about...or maybe it was exactly what she needed.

There was something about them. They looked so peaceful and worry-free. They were beautiful, beautiful little creatures.

And the parents, they were all glowing and smiling happily at their babies, like they couldn't believe this was actually happening to them.

They were lucky people. She knew better than them how lucky they were.

"Meredith."

"Izzie," she said surprised. She wasn't expecting any company.

Izzie smiled and stood next to her watching the babies.

"You still come here?"

"Sometimes, when I'm having crappy days. And you?"

"Same thing," Izzie said shrugging. "I heard Mrs. Dawson died, I'm sorry."

"Yeah," she said and smiled at the sight of one of the babies closer to the window. "You know who used to love coming here? George. He spent most of our first year as interns here," Meredith said smiling as she remembered how he used to drag her here every time she was upset over something.

"I remember," Izzie said with a chuckle. "He was such a woman when it came to babies." They both chuckled lightly at the memory.

For a few minutes they stood in silence, remembering, but then Izzie noticed Meredith's eyes were shining and a few tears had escaped and were rolling down her pale cheeks.

"Mer, are you okay?" Meredith sniffed and quickly brushed away her tears with the back of her hand.

"Yeah, I just…miss him," she said shrugging.

"Yeah, me too." Izzie looked closely at Meredith who tried to avoid her gaze. "But this isn't just about George, is it?"

Busted.

Meredith kept staring at the babies intently.

"Mer, what's wrong?"

She sighed, turned and leaned back against the cold glass. "I'd be on my sixth month by now, you know," she blurted out after a minute and looked up at Izzie. "I'd be having a baby in three months."

"I know," she said nodding. She remembered that day like it was yesterday, the look on Meredith's face, her red jeans, the ride to the hospital with Meredith drifting off every few minutes, the exam, the D&E. Everything.

"I think I want one."

"Of course you want one," Izzie said smiling reassuringly at her.

"Don't be so sure," Meredith said quietly, but sharply.

Izzie looked at her confused. Meredith sighed and explained, "I don't know, Iz. I think I want a baby, but I'm not sure. I wasn't even sure when I was pregnant and now, after what happened, I just…I don't know if I can do it," her voice becoming barely audible at the last sentence.

"Mer, of course you want a baby, you've always wanted babies," Izzie said sweetly, but Meredith just shrugged, so she continued in a strong voice. "You shouldn't make what happened to you into anything more than what it really was, an accident, an unfortunate and very sad thing that you went through, but please don't let it hold you back," she looked directly into Meredith's eyes. "Mer, you deserve to have a baby and you will."

"It's just, I couldn't even take care of my baby when it was-"

Izzie cut her off shaking her head.

"Meredith, don't do that, don't go there. You know it doesn't mean anything, you know that. We're all scared of parenthood, Mer, of course we are. We're afraid we won't be good enough, of all the responsibility and if anyone tells you anything different either they're lying, or they're gonna make really lousy parents." Meredith chuckled at Izzie's wise words. "You'll be a great mom, Mer. I really think you will, you just have to let yourself be happy. You need to stop worrying."

"I just, wish you were right," Meredith said with a sigh.

"I'm right. Meredith, you've wanted kids for ever, you just have to admit it to yourself. You were so happy when you were pregnant; I saw you and you had a big smile on your face all day. You're building a house with two spare rooms for God's sake and I don't think you're expecting many guests in the future. Besides, it's thanks to you that I even have the possibility to have children of my own! If you hadn't thought about that when I had the chemo, Alex and I couldn't even be thinking about having our own kids. Someone who's not sure if she wants to have a baby doesn't do that and that was over a year ago. See? You've always wanted kids. So stop worrying about the 'should I', 'will I' and 'can I', because wanting is enough. In the end all a child needs is to be wanted."

Meredith looked at her intensely as she thought about what Izzie had just said, "Thanks, Iz," she said sincerely and squeezed her hand.

"Anytime, like I said, I owe it to you in the name of my future children," she said and Meredith chuckled. "Have you talked to Derek about this?"

"No, not really," Meredith said shaking her head. "I think he's afraid to ask, after what happened. I know he wants to have a baby, so I think he's just waiting for me to say something."

"You should talk to him, I'm sure he'll be all McDreamy about it."

Meredith laughed at that and nodded, "Yeah, he probably will."

"He's a great guy."

"He is," she said and they both smiled at each other.

The rest of the day Meredith was left wondering about what Izzie had said.

She was right, she knew that what had happened didn't mean anything and that reading too much into it was a stupid thing to do, it had been an accident. She was being stupid.

But she still couldn't help but feel that she just couldn't do it.

Maybe it was just fear; maybe it was just the normal worries of everyone who pondered about becoming a parent. But maybe it was something else. Maybe she really did not want to have kids.

No. That was crap and she knew it. Wanting had never been the issue. She wanted kids, she wanted kids with Derek, of that she was sure. The thing was, whether she was ready to have kids, whether she should have kids. She didn't have a good role model, why should she be any different than her own mother?

But she was different, she was very different.

Izzie was right, she worried too much. She was so tired of thinking this over; she just wanted to go home.

Her shift was over, but she had to go over some charts and she wanted to wait for Derek, who would be off soon.

After a while someone opened the door, she looked up and there he was giving her that beautiful smile she loved so much.

"Hey."

"Hi," she smiled back. He walked towards her and leaned on the desk she had been working on.

"I heard your patient died, I'm sorry," he said while tucking a loose strand of hair behind her ear. "Are you okay?" He asked looking deeply at her.

"She was nice," she said and she leaned her cheek towards his hand, "She had two kids and a husband. It was sad."

He nodded in understanding.

Izzie was right, he was a great guy. He loved her so much, she could see it in his eyes, he would do anything for her, he just wanted to make her happy. And she wanted to make him happy too.

"I don't want to see you in pain, but you are. I know you are. I don't want you to fall on your knees. I just wanna be there to catch you when you do."

He had said that, that time, right after they lost the baby.

"Ready?" He said as he took her hand.

And suddenly it hit her. This was it.

She wanted to have a baby with this man and that was it. She wanted a baby, she wanted one so badly and she wanted it now, with him. Because if there was anyone in the world who could make her feel like she could do anything, that was Derek and if she sometimes felt sad, incapable or weak, he was always going to be there to catch her.

No 'should I', 'will I' or 'can I'. Wanting was enough. For one time she would stop worrying, because if she wanted good things happening to them, she couldn't let her fears hold them back.

"Yeah, I'm ready," she said smiling. She was so ready. "We need to talk."

He looked at her worriedly, "Is everything okay?"

"Yeah, but we'll talk when we get home. Can we go to the trailer tonight?" She wanted them to be alone for this.

"Sure."

He looked at her with a questioning look on his face; she never wanted to go to the trailer unless she was planning on having pretty loud sex all night.

On the way to the trailer he noticed a change in her, she seemed more relaxed and content than he had seen her in months. She finally looked worry-free. It couldn't be bad news, then.

When they got there she got out of the car and he couldn't hold the question any longer, he was intrigued. "Mer," he said as he stopped her on the steps to the trailer. "What's going on?"

She smiled at him and took his hand. "Let's go inside."

"Come on, tell me."

She chuckled at his insistence. He was looking pleadingly at her and the truth was she couldn't resist those eyes. "Okay."

"Okay," he repeated looking eagerly at her.

"I think I'm ready. No, I know I'm ready. I'm ready."

"Ready?" He asked confused.

"For the whole family thing, I'm ready. I want us to have a baby," she stated with a confidence and strength he had never seen in her.

He looked at her in disbelief, he wasn't expecting that. She was smiling widely at him waiting for him to say something back. So that's what was different in her, she was ready.

"You're ready," he said mimicking her big smile as he climbed up the few steps that separated them and gave her a kiss on the lips. "We're ready." He kissed her again. "Thank you."

They kissed once more. "Thank you, for your patience."

"Anything for you." And then another kiss.

"Wanna go inside? We should start practicing," she said mischievously and led him inside the trailer.

So it was about having loud sex all night. Except this time…they had a purpose.

Now, that really is it.

Please leave a comment, I see many of you have added this story to your Favorite Story list or to you Story Alerts and I would really like to know what your thoughts on this chapter are.

Thank you all so much!