The Royal Publishing House proudly presents:

Prince Arthur Pendragon's

A Brief History of Really Bad Manservants

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Since the dawn of man there have always been those who are meant to rule and those who are meant to serve. And since the dawn of man there have always been those who are absolutely rubbish at their job.

History has to offer many examples of miserable kings, and noble who were particularly nasty. Yet many are unaware of the many great tales of the lesser folk who made a complete balls up of their own really quite simple duties.

Though little known the history of really bad manservants is as long as the history of Kings.

The very first really bad manservant was a Babylonian fellow by the name of Marduk, servant to prince Anibal who was a youngest son. Marduk is most known for regularly overheating the young, and long suffering prince's bath water.

There are stories of an Egyptian Prince whose name has been lost to time who had a quite incompetent manservant. This particular manservant had an irritating nasal voice, but to add to that the bumbling idiot failed to locate the prince his favorite amulet in time for an important state dinner.

There are many examples From Greece of really bad manservants, but being so numerous it is best only to cover some of the infractions: Spilling olive oil, slowness at pinning himatons (outer cloaks), putting figs in the wrong colored bowls, not participating in the democratc process, casting the wrong vote, lack of free thought, free thought, dressing badly, and having a wonky nose. As you can see many good prices suffered greatly due to the thoughtlessness and lack of care by bad manservanting.

Even the Romans had difficulty with bad manservants, in fact at one point the senate tried to outlaw badmanservanting, it was voted down however due to good help being very hard to find.

There have been no reports of bad manservants throughout the Teutonic tribes, Ireland or Scotland, but this is greatly suspected to everyone to be too drunk to notice.

Really bad Manservants have a long and rich history, and still thrive in contemporary time.

Here in Camelot even there exists exceedingly noteworthy example of really bad manservantry.

As Camelot's leading authority on really bad manservants I can write with great certainty that my own manservant, Merlin (what a gitt-ish name, Merlin), is without a doubt the worst manservant there has ever been. Continually disrespectful, perpetually in the stocks, spends more time voicing unsolicited opinions than cleaning, mostly always running late, no fun at hunting, and disturbingly fascinating.

Yes Merlin is without question the worst manservant in the long history of really bad manservants, thankfully in the equally long history of friends… Merlin is the best a prince ever had.