Hi! I had so much fun writing the Aizen version, I decided to do another one! Dedicated to my faithful Beta, Frenchie-Chan.

Disclaimer: BLEACH IS MINE! ALL MINE! BWAHAHAHA! -shot-

50 Ways To Annoy, Torment, And Generally Harass Byakuya Kuchiki

1. Let him catch you trying on his kenseikan.

2. Ask him in a loud whisper if his bankai is a reflection of his true gender.

3. Convince him to tattoo his eyebrows like a certain Vice-Captain.

4. Write him a loud, obnoxious theme song.

5. Sing said theme song at every given opportunity.

6. Tell him that Hisana didn't die of a lung disease; she died of overexposure to his noble-ness.

7. Put rotting dead things near him; insist it is aromatherapy to cleanse his soul.

8. Throw him a bawdy party for no particular reason. Invite Yoruichi Shinouin to strip at said party.

9. Sing the 'Pepto Bismal' theme song. (Ya know, Nausea! Heartburn! Indigestion! Upset Stomach, Diarrhea!) Be sure to do the dance moves with it.

10. Force him to wear a hoopskirt under his haori.

11. Buy him sexy lingerie.

12. Tell him it was from Renji.

13. Follow him around everywhere and clap coconuts together.

14. Get him drunk.

15. Dress him up like Santa Claus.

16. Make him give various gifts to all the Sixth Squad members.

17. Hog the bathroom. Shout loudly that you have a terrible case of diarrhea. (Note: See #9)

18. Should you ever be alone with him, tap him on the shoulder then pretend it wasn't you.

19. Burst loudly through the door at a captain's meeting, lay a Twister mat on the floor and insist he play with you. Invite the other captains to join.

20. Convince him that Yachiru has rabies. This shouldn't be a very difficult task.

21. Tell him that if he frowns excessively, his face will stick like that.

22. Then stop mid-sentence, realizing that it already has.

23. Make a paper chain of people holding hands out of his scarf.

24. Sing 'Brothers' at Rukia's execution where Byakuya can hear you. (You'll love watching him squirm…)

25. Ask him if he wanted to be "A big bad captain with a girly zanpakuto, hair noodles, and a bad sense of humor" when he was a kid.

26. Tell him the only reason he became a captain was because the other captains felt sorry for him.

27. When ever you see him, scream and point in horror.

28. If he is about to enter a room, insist you enter first and announce his noble presence.

29. Make a perfect replica of the Kuchiki Mansion entirely out of bendy straws.

30. Make him watch Napoleon Dynamite. Tell him you like his sleeves.

31. Cut his hair while he is asleep. Use Senbonzakura.

32. When ever walks into a room, sing "Dude, Looks Like a Lady!" (Note: see #28)

33. T.P. his office.

34. Encourage him to "Think happy thoughts!"

35. Slap him randomly on the arm, then mutter, "Mosquito..."

36. Insist he get his tounge pierced. Bring Shinji Hirako into the picture should he need persuading.

37. Tell him that Rukia is pregnant.

38. Then tell him that the father is Renji.

39. Better yet, Ichigo.

40. Even better, Urahara.

41. If your life holds no value to you, Aizen.

42. Make him take 'Smiling 101'.

43. Try to teach him to cook.

44. Call the fire department beforehand.

45. Take him to a baseball game. Buy him a corn dog, shout "Heeere, batter, batter, batter!", and hit him vigorously with a foam finger.

46. Stare manically and grin at him for an extended amount of time before announcing, "I have new socks on."

47. Steal his teddy bear. That always makes him cry.

48. Have him dye Easter eggs with you…

49. …at Christmas.

50. Hold your family reunion at his house. Make sure to invite your most insane relatives, especially the ones who are likely to pinch his ****.

Thanks for reading, please review. Flames will be used to roast marshmallows.

~Amami-Chan