Fucking Finally! RIGHT? LOL

So I'm not even gonna bother lol…I moved back to LA and in with my boyfriend, transferred jobs, hated my job, ended up getting promoted (go figure) and now make more money. More money + boyfriend NOT living 300 miles away from me = way less stress and more room for creativity and fan fics.

What it comes down to my friends is that my life got really crazy and I just didn't have it me to give you guys the chapter that you deserve. Believe me this chapter has been in the works since January, but everything that I came up with until today was garbage. I'm finally at peace and am ready to share what I wrote. It's been a while so please keep the hating to minimum. I won't promise a time frame this time but this chapter was hard and the rest just kind of flows from here on out so hopefully it won't be 9 months again (damn I could have had a kid by now!)

Now that that is out of the way…

I don't own Twilight, just this story.

Song list:

Back In Your Head by Tegan and Sara

Les Artistes by Santogold

Pardon Me (Acoustic) by Incubus

No Sensitivity (Acoustic) by Jimmy Eat World

Dying by Hole

Hysteric (Acoustic) by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs

Chapter 20: About A Boy

(Back In Your Head by Tegan and Sara)

"Girmmmph"

I groaned as I stretched my arms over my head and smacked my dry tequila residued lips together. Glancing down I found Edward with his head sweetly nestled into my left breast with his arm hugging my stomach. His low soft even breaths continued to fan over my bare skin causing goose-bumps to spring up now that my body was awake enough to notice.

Even though my nipps where now hard enough to cut glass and my lady region was hot and screaming "up and at 'em buddy", I wouldn't dream of waking him. He looked so peaceful and innocent while he slept. Nothing like the many pained and distressed looks I saw on his beautiful face last night. Ugh last night…while we're lying here self, let's recap. Ok self sounds good…

First, there was the party. Which started off great…right? I mean I was having fun with the girls and Edward looked amazing in his costume. Let's just say Leo had nothing on Edward's Romeo. Then there was James. And Victoria and James. And Victoria, and roofies?

Wow!

As I continued to go over the details in my head, the night got worse and worse. Even though it ended with mind-blowing foreplay and sex, there was one thing that was sticking out more than everything else.

"We'll talk about it latter ok?...Hey, you got to her in time…She's gonna be fine because of you! And James will be dealt with. He has DA Swan this time, and I'm sure they'll give him Judge Harry, you know they won't let him off...Knowing how James operates…He drugged her, but I got to them and kicked him out before any real damage could be done"

Knowing how James operates? How does Edward know anything about James? I can't even fathom a world in which the two of them would ever be friends.

My stomach began to churn at the thought of Edward and James together. What had my love gotten himself into before I came back into his life. It wasn't until now, right this second that I realized I don't know anything about Edward. At least not the person he was in my absence. I know him now and I have heard some details, but there is still a large gap missing from the story. 7 years is a long time to lose yourself and I wonder just how far down the rabbit hole he traveled.

I once chastised him for holding on to who I was when I was 10, but am I now doing the same thing? Am I turning a blind eye to who he really is because I love him so much that I can't breathe without him near me? Do I even want to know about the past 7 years?...yes. Yes, because in truth whatever it is, no matter how bad it might be, I love him and I want to know everything about him. What this thing is with James we'll get through it, and I'll get over it and we'll be happy together…

I exhaled the long audible breath my lungs where holding onto during my internal rant.

"mmm," Edward protested against the heaving movement of my chest.

He squeezed my torso and nuzzled my breast allowing his messy hair to tickle my skin. I giggled softly at him. How could I ever doubt us?

I made my mind up right then and there to take in whatever he has to tell me about him and James, and to not let it affect us in any way. He was obviously hurting and distressed about whatever this thing is, and all I wanted to do was wrap my arms around him and reassure him that everything is fine and everything will be fine from now on.

"mmm," he whined again, "no momming," his words where mumbled with his lips pressed into the top of my chest.

"What?"

"I said no moving," he sighed, "you're so…soft (sigh) and comfy (sigh) no moving k?"

"You're cute in the morning."

This was the first time since we've really been together that he hasn't had to leave me at some crazy ungodly hour for school or random ambush trip to New York.

"And you're beautiful in the morning," He whispered as he moved to hover overme.

"How's your head baby? You hungover at all?"

Come to think of it not really. My head was too full of questions and internal debate to have time to hurt. Edward was grinning down at me like I missed an important…ohhhhh

It all became very clear after he rolled on top of me and began kneading and sucking on my breasts.

"Research…has shown…"

Edward continued to roll his tongue over my left nipple as he spoke. My body arched towards his face at its own volition begging for more contact. My head lulled to the side and my fingers began to pull at his hair as I just about lost my damn mind to the sensation he was creating for me.

"…that your body is most sexually sensitive after sleeping… mind if I test this theory?"

I guess the inquisition will have to wait…

EPOV

(Les Artistes by Santogold)

A mind blowing morning shag and a fuckhot shower with my girl later, we finally made our way to the terrace for brunch. Unfortunately Carlisle and Esme decided to be home for once and spend their morning there as well, basking in the unseasonably warm October sunshine.

"Edward I-"

Bella stopped dead in her tracks upon noticing the pariah dressed in an Armani suit that awaited her. Sensing her trepidation, I squeezed her hand in what I hoped was a soothing gesture.

"Don't worry love I'll protect you," I joked, practically dragging her along. "besides, his bark is much worse than his bite, I promise."

After flashing her my award winning panty dropping grin she relaxed into my side following me out. My mother sat with her back to the grounds facing the entry to the house. Her hair was down, framing her delicate heart shaped face while her Chanel eye glasses slid down her nose. She seemed captivated by whatever charity event papers she was involved in at the moment. Carlisle sat at the head of the table with his body turned towards the grounds. The asshole had one knee crossed over the other while he held his paper up just high enough to alienate my mother from any contact or conversation at the table, fucking prick.

"Edward, darling, what a surprise! I had thought for sure that you would be gone for the day already. Oh! And who is this beautiful young lady?"

"Um, mother, Carlisle, I would like to re-introduce you to Miss Isabella Swan McCarty."

I caught a glimpse of Bella's confused face out of the corner of my. I forget that she did not have the same "society upbringing" that I so gratefully had (note the sarcasm).

"As you are already aware, Isabella is my girlfriend."

For now, but I kept that to myself.

"It's a pleasure to see you again dear, isn't it Carlise?…Ahm!"

"Dad?"

"(obnoxious fucking throat clear) Yes a pleasure."

"My how beautiful you grew up to be Isabella. It's been what Carlisle, 7 years or so?"

"Um, yes that sounds about right. It's nice to see you again as well Mr. and Mrs. Cull-"

"Unfortunately I must be going, Isabella," he stood, folding his paper and tucking it beneath his arm, "son we'll discuss this later."

Like hell we will. The only thing needing a discussion was his blatant disregard for my mother and the love of my life, along with his general all-around pleasant self. It was at that point that I was ready to tell the prick to fuck off, but decided to hold back after Bella squeezed my hand. It's amazing the ten shades of calm the girl can throw over me with just one simple gesture.

"Don't mind him dear, I'm sure he's just in some sort of crisis with the board at the hospital. And, I know Edward Sr. has been breathing down his neck lately. Please, sit. I was just pouring over some of the event details for the Christmas gala, Oh Edward you will be bringing Isabella wont you? I've already set a place for the both of you."

"No we-"

"I would love to-," we started at the same time, "attend Mrs. Cullen. I love Christmas. And it's just Bella."

"Great! And it's just Esme dear."

Fucking great my mother has her philanthropic claws into my girl already. It's bad enough she drags Alice through this shit. Whatever, I guess it's a pretty decent cause this year.

"Bella this year the ticket sales and auction proceeds are going to support the family's of our discharged and on leave service men and woman. It's such a shame how many of them are treated upon returning to the US. Many of them are in need of therapy, surgery, and other aids to help them rehabilitate properly."

"Wow, that's so amazing that you're doing that. You're right, they are a severely over looked class of people and we owe them our lives."

That's my girl. I'm convinced that her heart is three sizes too big. Hell she even tried to find the good in that slime-bag James. Bella is truly a humanist, and as such my former human rights lawyer of a mother was already giving her goo-goo eyes. I'm sure Esme has already compiled a full guest list in her head. Before, I would have ran for the hills at the thought of marriage, but now, it's just a matter of finding a ring good enough for her beautiful hand and convincing her to say yes.

Geoffrey finally brought out pancakes and mimosas and we began to eat with an easy silence falling over the table. It's amazing what a difference the absence of one douche bag father makes.

"Well darlings, I really must be going, I have a meeting with Shelby Stanly to discuses table center pieces. Lord help me that tacky woman is trying to ruin my event with cheap orange rocks"

Bella and I both suppressed a giggle as my mother left us to finish our brunch in peace. I felt myself let out a long breath at the feeling of weightlessness now that it was just me and my Bella. She was so cute with the way that she 'mmed' and 'ooooed' at her pancakes. And don't even get me started on her eating the fucking strawberries as her little pink tongue slipped out to lick each one before she bit in to the juicy, red fruit. A low growl escaped my lips while I adjusted my junk as she ate her third fucking strawberry.

"Do you trust me baby?" I asked her.

I knew that she loved me, but after last night? After I left her in the dark about my past with James? I needed to hear her say the words.

"Of course, I love you." She furrowed her brow in confusion not knowing where I was going with such a question.

Grabbing her small hand, I brought it to my lips and placed a gentle kiss on her palm. She sighed at the contact and caressed up my cheek continuing into my unruly hair. Her touch was so soothing I let my head fall forward to her shoulder resting for a moment as her sent and the feel of her soft skin ran through my senses sending small shivers through my body.

"What are your plans for the day baby?"

"Nothing?" she asked confused.

"Good, then you can lie out on the lawn with me in the sun while we still have it." She smiled and placed sweet chaste kisses on my forehead.

"Come on."

With her hand still laced with mine I stood bringing her with me.

"Geoffrey will clean this up."

Grabbing the large afghan off of the outdoor sofa, I led Bella down the terrace stairs, past the pool, and out to the six acres of lawn that made up my backyard. I spared the blanket out and motioned for her to get on. It was adorable, the way her little nose scrunched up while she focused on toeing off her shoes and pushing them into a neat little pile on the edge of the blanket. When she lay down, her hair fanned out framing her beautiful porcelain face as she laid one arm across her torso and the other above her head. Her bright Chocolate eyes stared up at me, while the sun danced across the cleavage peeking out of her Zac Posen sun dress. In that moment I had never seen anything more beautiful or more perfect in my entire life. If I had it my way I would have dropped to one knee right then and there, but of course, we still had a ton of bullshit to hash out before we can even consider having our happily ever after.

"Care to join me?" She cooed breaking the spell her eyes had me under.

I blew out the breath I was holding tight in my lungs and settled down on the blanket resting my head on her small soft belly. I knew we needed to talk but I had no idea where or how to start.

"So…" she stated as she began to run her fingers through my hair. The act was soothing and comforting I'm surprised I didn't start purring like a fucking cat.

"So?"

"Penny for your thoughts?"

"For you baby, they're always free," man, when did I turn into a fucking cheese ball?

"I know we need to talk, I just…" I sighed.

"Just start from the beginning. What was all of that last night?"

Her voice stayed sweet and calm, like she wasn't pissed or anything, just genuinely curious and confused.

"Well…from the beginning?" I twisted my head up to look at her face.

"That's usually the best place," she replied with amusement.

(Pardon Me (Acoustic) by Incubus)

Ok…here goes nothing. Hopefully she won't run for the hills after hearing about what a disgusting creature I was, am, and how fucking insane my family is.

"The Vangunderson's and the Cullen's have never gotten along. Our families are two of the oldest in the country and our business crosses and interferes with one another constantly. I guess everything really came to a head when my Uncle, Aro, died."

"Aro?"

"He was my dad's older brother, the prodigal son, the next in line etc. His rival was Chip, Chip Vangunderson. Anyway, long story short, they fought constantly, always trying to one up each other. And, then your mother came along and really fucked everything up without even realizing it."

She paused her hand mid stroke on my head.

"My mom? What does she have to do with anything?"

"You said start from the beginning right? Well this is it. Chip and Aro both wanted her. She was their biggest game, but she only wanted Chip. I'm sure you know more about the whole situation between your mother and father than I do, but I do know that her and chip were supposedly madly in love and Aro was pissed that he lost. Anyway, so the story goes, they were both on the plane that crashed killing them and the pilot. Of course both families blamed each other and blamed your mother. So, the rivalry sparked on."

As much as I wanted to turn to face her, I need to finish what I've started and there was no way I could get this next part out with her innocent doe eyes staring back at me.

"At the start of my freshman year, I was a dumb punk 14 year old who was sick of being under all of this pressure to be something I didn't understand or want to be. You see my father was never supposed to take over the business. He went to medical school and was going to be the chief of surgery at our hospital. That's what he enjoyed doing…at one time. Then Aro died and my Grandfather, Edward Senior, basically told Carlisle that he was a disappointment. He said Carlisle didn't have it in him to run a business so the line of succession will skip him and be handed down to me. My life is planned out Bella. Every fucking detail is set in stone. There's no room for debate or even friendly discussion. I was tired and looking for a way to rebel against this system that had been set up for me, so, I befriended James.

Well, I guess "friends" is a loose term. Much like our Uncles, we were always competing. Always making bets on women, drugs, sports, whatever. I figured what better way to get daddy's attention then by hanging out with the enemy right? Ta! I thought I was fucked up but James's was on a whole other level. We began to party together you know? It started with some pills here and there, and then coke. We could party longer, harder after a few lines."

"Oh Edward," Bella whispered. My heart clenched at the tinge of sadness in her voice.

"It was November and both of our families were spending the holiday in New York. Of course this meant four days of nonstop partying for us. We met a group of girls at a club and thought it would be a brilliant idea to leave with them. They had an apartment in the city so we continued the party over at their place. It's funny, looking back on it, looking from the outside; I still have no idea where my parents were at the time."

I paused letting the weight of what I was about to divulge sink in. I hadn't talked about this night since I told Alice every detail after James was shipped off to Europe. Our friends don't even know the full story, because they're not obligated by blood to be near me. If I was them and I knew, I would want nothing to do with me. I just pray that Bella won't feel that way.

God, if there is a "God", I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Please don't take my Angel away from me. I know I don't deserve her, and it's selfish of me to want to keep her, but Bella is all that I have. I'll die inside all over again without her.

"I remember I was making out with the blond. Fuck, I don't even remember her name, assuming I even got her name. Her friend, Kathryn, Kate, they called her. Kate wanted more coke.

"Guuuyyysss, I'm felling sleepy" she sang out, "and you know what that means…"

"Line them up! Line them up!" the two girls began the clap and chant.

"Alright! Alright! James line em up!"

"God, we must have done like three more lines each. When we were done, James and I went to grab the girls a drink from their kitchen."

"Hey douche, you want some?" he asked holding out another small bag with some powder in it. I studied the little baggy nestled between his fingers and deduced that it indeed was not coke.

"What is it angle dust?"

"Um, no," he chuckled darkly, "I'm slipping some into Katie's drink, you know I love them helpless."

"The look in his eyes was so fucking twisted and disturbing. Even through my high I could tell that he was off of his fucking rocker, but hell what the fuck was I supposed to do you know? I was kid. I was fucking 14 for fucks sake!"

By now I was expecting Bella to push me off of her. She had to see where this story was going. She had to think I was a disgusting human being for not stopping him, for not saying something. But no, she continued to breathe evenly beneath me as her hand scratched at my scalp. Even though my mind was in overdrive and my heart was heavy with emotion my physical body was relaxed under her touch, and if there was ever a moment to realize that I truly did not deserve her, now would be it.

"Relax Cullen. Fuck, the girls done so much coke tonight it probably won't even affect her. You wanna try it?"

Gripping the counter top I couldn't take my eyes off of the little bag. It wasn't even fully registering what he was about to do to her. I just knew that I wasn't about to partake in whatever it was. Even I had limits.

"I don't think so dude. That's some fucked up shit. Too much for me."

"Don't be such a pussy man. Fuck, fine, suit yourself. More for little Katie over there."

"About ten minutes after she finished her drink and he helped her up. They sloppily made their way to what I assumed was her bedroom. What felt like only minutes later he ran out fully clothed screaming that we had to leave."

"What the fuck J?"

"Dude we gotta go! Come on!"

"It all happened so fast. Her friend, nameless girl, ran into the room and screamed out a blood curtailing scream of pain. I ran in to assess the situation and found Kathryn convulsing on the bed.

""Give me a phone," I yelled holding my hand out, "give me a fucking phone!"

Nameless friend was useless and James just kept yelling on and on about how he never touched her, and we needed to go. Never touched her my ass! She was completely fucking naked. By now, she had stopped convulsing and lay lifeless on the bed. I dialed 911 from a blocked number and threw the phone at nameless so that I could give Kathryn CPR. She never woke up. She never…"

I sniffled as my voice cracked. I was unable to finish the sentence again. Tears that have been pent up for three years began to fall down my cheeks before plopping onto Bella's dress. I almost forgot she was here as I wrapped myself up in the memory of that dreadful night.

"She died within five minutes of making it to the hospital. Her heart couldn't take all of the lines she had done, plus the fucking roofie he slipped her. We split before the ambulance arrived taking nameless with us. At the time, I couldn't figure out why it was so important for James to get all of her information. I was so outta body I just wanted to get home to my parents so that I could figure my shit out. I found out later that the Vangunderson's paid the girl a substantial amount of money to keep her mouth shut as the only witness in the case. James spent the next two years in Europe while things died down. The girl died Bella," I sat up and hugged my knees to my chest, "I saw what James did, I knew what was going on and I didn't do anything to stop him."

(No Sensitivity (Acoustic) by Jimmy Eat World)

"Shhhh baby, it's ok."

I felt Bella sit up behind me. She wrapped her feminine arms around me and began to pepper the back of my neck and shoulders with kisses. She was still her.

"Why are you still here?"

"Edward it wasn't your fault. You're right, you were just a kid. You're not responsible for what James did."

She squeezed me tighter and for the first time in a long time I felt safe and at home.

"I went to her funeral. I needed to see the result of my actions. I needed to see the pain I had caused her family for myself. After that, I tried to fuck and drug away my grief. My family wanted me to just man up and get over it. Shit happens, she was a nobody in our world and I needed to focus on my future. The more they pushed, the further away I fell until…until you came back. Bella you have to know that you saved me. I'm fucked up baby, I'm a fucking mess but you, you're like this light at the end of the tunnel. I don't know what I'd do if you left me."

BPOV

There it was again, that guilt that tore at my heart from running from him. I knew the truth, that I loved him, before I went to see my mom in LA, and still, I ran. I left him. I don't blame him for thinking that I would do it again. He was so vulnerable sitting in front of me. I could see in his eyes that he was lost and was trying to find the answer in my own deep pools.

"Edward, listen to me," I demanded, grabbing on to either side of his face, "I love you with all of my heart. You're a good person Edward. You're a good person who had a fucked up childhood, shitty parents, and landed himself in a fucked up situation. But, none of that makes you bad, or, or undeserving of love. I love you and I'm not going anywhere. Ok?"

He nodded his head still trapped between my hands.

"Look at me Edward, you can't scare me away. This doesn't and wont scare me away…come her," I whispered and began placing kisses all over his face before hugging him close to me. His body began to shake and I realized he was sobbing into my shoulder.

"Shhh" I cooed while rubbing the nap of his neck and rocking him back and forth.

"I'm sorry baby. I'm sorry I'm such a fuck up and that I'm not the person you thought I was." He finally said after his sobbing subsided and he sat up to face me again.

"You have nothing to be sorry for," I assured him, "I will say though, that this is a lot to take in. And, we're nowhere near done discussing your family and your future, but I think I've had enough for one day."

(Dying by Hole)

Edward inhaled deeply and exhaled his sweet breath across my face before leaning in and kissing me. The kiss was raw and emotional, much like Edwards state of mind at the moment. I eagerly invited him into my mouth as I lay back onto the blanket pulling him down with me. With his body flushed against mine, I wrapped both of my ankles around his backside forcing his erection to grind against my now aching center. Edward continued assaulting my lips whispering,

"I fucking need you so badly," against them.

"Then take me," I whispered back.

Snaking his hand under my dress, Edward fisted the delicate lace barrier between him and my pussy and tugged until the fabric ripped away.

"I fucking love how wet you get for me Isabella," he growled in my ear.

His tongue snaked a hot trail around the shell and down my neck until landing back on my lips. My mouth was the metal, and his tongue the magnet, attraction was inevitable.

I made quick work of his belt and zipper, pushing his pants down with my ankles that still had his torso in vice grip.

"Take me please," I begged.

Without further hesitation I felt Edwards hard cock slam into me forcing my chest to arch up against him in pleasure. At first, Edward was like a wild beast needing to stake his claim. He pounded into my core with crazed, fast pumps that hurt in the best possible way. Then, like flipping a switch he gradually slowed his pace.

(Hysteric (Acoustic) by the Yeah Yeah Yeahs)

"I just want to love you," his hearty voice rasped out against my collarbone, "you're so fucking beautiful baby."

He brought his forehead against mine while his hands rested on either side of my face. Our bodies wither against each other and I placed my hands on his strong arms feeling his whole body begin to tense up from holding back to go slow. Our lips ghosted over each other's barley touching as the sounds of our love filled the back yard.

"Please Edward. Please I'm so close," I panted and begged.

"Anything. I'd give you fucking anything."

His thrusts, now long and deep began to come a bit faster stringing me along to my release.

"I love you," I whisper-screamed simultaneously with my orgasm that racked through my body from my toes to my head.

This was one of the most intense and spiritual feelings I had ever experienced. Edward quickly followed screaming my name and chanting words of love into the crook of my neck. After taking a moment to catch his breath, he reached behind himself and unhooked my ankles allowing him to roll over onto his back bringing me on top of him. I snuggled in to him not caring at all that we just made love out in the open, in the middle of his back yard for all of his staff to see.

"Stay with me again tonight?"

"OK."

My eyelids fluttered close and I hummed in contentment listening to Edwards heart beat and enjoying the feel of the warm sun on my skin along with his fingertips tickling my back.

I know it's been a while, and some of you hate me right now, but PLEASE send me some love! thanks :)