It was too dark to see properly in here. The music was loud enough to vibrate in his chest and make his head pound. The air was filled with various forms of smoke and the stink of a dozen kinds of liquor. There were people everywhere, dancing, singing, yelling, drinking. The food was cheap, the sake was bad. Yachiru had convinced all the Vizard to call him "Princess."

Byakuya really hated it.

In a back room Shinji had set up a round card table and chairs.

"Here's the rules." he said, setting out shot glasses and bottles. "We go in a circle. When it's your turn, you say something you've never done before, like 'I've never driven a car' or 'I've never eaten beans' or 'I've never done anything inappropriate with a vegetable'. Anyone around the table who has done that thing takes a shot. When you feel you can take no more, count yourself out and go out and send someone else in in your place. Ready? Everyone's glasses full? Okay. I've never... worn a skirt."

Rangiku drained her shot, then refilled it. She was next up.

"I've never worn underwear."

Everyone but her took a drink. This was going to be a long game.

Renji. Loved. Tequila.

He never got to really drink around Seireitei because his captain had a habit of popping up in unexpected places, so this party was a special treat. He stood in a corner with Hinamori and Kira, passing around a bottle and enjoying the mayhem that was taking place on the warehouse floor, far below the landing where they stood. The music was loud, the smoke was thick, and Yoruichi was totally dancing with Soi Fon. What more could one ask for?

"I've never had a haircut."

"Do it!"

"No."

"Come on, just drink it!"

"I'm underage."

"Nobody cares, Kurosaki."

"Yeah, just drink it."

"Rukia! You know what would happen if my dad found out, don't you?"

"But he's not going to find out, and nobody here cares. Drink it."

"No."

"Yes."

"No."

"Yes."

"I've never been afraid of Unohana."

Ukitake knew that his lungs and Unohana were going to make him regret coming here, but he couldn't pass up a celebration after all that had happened. After he'd lost the Dynamic Duo in the crowd he indulged himself in a glass of rum and stood over the rails of the landing and watched the commotion on the floor below. Some people were trying—with varying degrees of success—to dance. Yachiru was doing an arm-flapping maneuver with Hanataro and Inoue Orihime had trapped Iba into some sort of twist thing.

Ukitake loved being the fly on the wall at these sorts of functions. He'd insisted Byakuya come too, saying that the whole party was off the record and that he could let his hair down. Nobody was going to remember it tomorrow anyway. He should at least attend, even if he didn't join in. The Vizard had been kind enough to invite everyone who could fit in the warehouse and promised they'd get everyone good and drunk; so far, they had kept their word.

"Yes you have."

"Just drink it."

"No."

"I mixed it up myself, it won't make you sick."

"No."

"Please, Captain? Just join us, loosen up a little!"

"Come on, Toshiro. They made me drink it, you don't get off scott free either."

"No."

"Look, I'll drink it too. See, it's not bad!"

"No."

"I've never lost my sword in my own apartment."

Yumichika, Ikkaku and Ishida sat at the top of the stairs. Ishida wasn't a drinker but he did take a small glass of brandy offered by Shinji, who was an excellent host.

"Man, we never get to do this stuff at home. I love real world parties." Yumichika had drunk half a bottle of some clear something that couldn't have been water, but it didn't seem to have affected him. Ikkaku on the other hand, was leaning against his shoulder, decidedly tipsy if not outright drunk.

"Most real world parties don't happen in warehouses, and nobody brings their swords."

"Oh. Well still, it beats the hell out of tea ceremony. Tea ceremony is quite beautiful, but not fun."

"Hey, what's Kenpachi doing over there?"

Renji plopped down on the stair behind them. "Looks like he's lost one of his bells."

"I've never tasted piss."

Having caught up with each other, Lisa and Nanao decided to open a bottle of champagne and toast the captain, who was across the floor, dancing badly with Unohana. They sat upon an upturned crate and observed.

Without warning, a cold liquid came raining down upon them from above. Soaked, Lisa looked up angrily to see a grinning face with orange hair leaning over the railing.

"Sorry!" Ichigo called. "Apparently Toshiro didn't want to drink it."

Lisa stood and pursued.

"I've never gotten lost in Rukongai."

"Oh there you are, Juushiro."

"Indeed, here I am, Shunsui."

"It looks like quite the excellent party, if I do say so."

"Yes, yes. It reminds me of the old days."

"Quite. It's been so long, and there are so few of us left who remember being young together."

"Well, it looks like this new generation has things under control."

"Well then, let us toast. To youth!"

"To memories."

"I've never broken a bone. Hey--OW!"

Rukia was dancing on a box with Hanataro. She was vaguely aware that her brother was probably watching her, but the few drinks she had had taken the edge off that particular worry. Rukia could outdrink Renji on a good day, and he was at least twice her weight. She wondered where Renji was for a moment, then decided it didn't really matter. Nobody could get out of Hachi's barrier except Orihime, and so long as he couldn't leave the warehouse he would be safe.

Ah, it was grand to not have any worries. No Hollows to slay tonight, somebody else was on duty. No executions to worry about, no Bounts, no Arrancars, no kidnapped friends, no more Aizen... life would be peaceful. Ichigo could go back to school and catch up on his classwork. Inoue could clean out her apartment and move back in. Rukia could go back home and take a new assignment. Everything would go back to... normal. She looked over at Hanataro, who was swaying to the blaring music and hugging an empty beer can.

Suddenly the world seemed a sad and lonely place to Kuchiki Rukia.

"I've never used kidou."

"Stop!"

"No! You're going to kill me!" Ichigo ran for his life from Lisa, who was chasing him across the dance floor, machete in hand, glasses flashing and skirts flying.

"You'll deserve it!" she screamed, shaking more hard lemonade out of her hair.

"I've never been drunk. Before now."

"Hello, my dear." said Shinji to the thin dark-haired girl who presented herself before him.

"Captain Ukitake thought I should introduce myself. Hinamori Momo, lieutenant of the 5th Division."

"Ah. Hirako Shinji, former captain of the 5th Division." Shinji held out a hand. "I suppose Aizen's betrayal hit you the hardest this time around. We are brethren, then! Have a drink, girl."

"Thank you." Hinamori took the glass he offered. "Captain Ukitake thinks you and I ought to be friends, but I'm not so good with people."

Shinji grinned a wide, unnerving grin at her.

"Well, Ukitake is a meddler, you just remember that. On the other hand, he's right. Since the Commander has welcomed us all back into Seireitei and back into the Protection Squads, I suppose we may be seeing each other. I made a mistake with Aizen, in that I never got to know him. That was how it was so easy for him to stay under my radar. So I think I'll do the opposite now, and get to know everyone well." He slung an arm around her shoulders. "It's good to know you, Miss Hinamori."

"You too, sir." Hinamori smiled back, unsure of how she felt but unafraid of it.

"I've never been swimming."

Byakuya watched from his perch by the stairs while Yadomaru chased Kurosaki across the warehouse floor and into one of the smaller rooms on the west side. She was pretty spry for someone who had supposedly been dead for over a hundred years. There was a bright flash of light from the doorway.

It was probably impossible that she could have killed him, but Byakuya could always dream.

"I've never had sex while swimming."

Shiba Kukaku had, at some point, lost her top. Perhaps in the strip poker game that was going on upstairs, perhaps on a dare. Perhaps it had finally just popped from the strain. It didn't really matter.

Chad had already decided that this was infinitely better than his friends' parties.

"I've never used a banana for practice."

Ichigo found Rukia on a bench out front, doubled over with her head between her knees. She didn't look like she was currently puking (like Hanataro was) so he walked up to her.

"You okay? I thought Renji told us you could drink." he sat next to her and touched her back.

"I'm fine." she murmured, and sat up. "Just a little cold is all."

"Oh." Ichigo didn't have a jacket to give her, but he put an arm around her instead. She resisted.

"Orihime might see."

"So?"

"So she likes you, and I don't want her to think..."

"I know she likes me, and she won't think anything. Besides, she's a sweet girl and a great friend and all, but I don't think she's my type."

Rukia looked at him in the waxing moonlight, and he thought he might drown in those blue eyes. Agghh, get a grip! You've seen Rukia's eyes lots of times! It's just that damn lemonade! Ichigo made himself keep talking, so that he'd be occupied with something other than looking at her.

"And anyway, she doesn't really like me. She likes who she thinks I am, and she doesn't really know me like you do. And Tatsuki would kick my ass if I went near her anyway."

Rukia just smiled at him, and leaned into his warmth.

"I've never pissed off the Kenpachi."

"There you are, Captain! What are you doing?"

Toshiro hated that sort of question.

"Obviously, Matsumoto, I am sitting here."

"Captain are you... smoking?"

Toshiro blew a puff of smoke in her face.

"No." he said.

"I've never been smiled at by Ichimaru Gin."

In Hiyori's bedroom a game of strip poker was being held. This was nothing new, as strip poker was one of the Vizard's standard pastimes. Out of Kensei, Hiyori, Yachiru, Nemu and Hisagi, Yachiru was the only one still fully dressed.

"And this hand goes to me, ladies and gentlemen!" she piped up, tossing down her cards. "Let's see another layer come off!"

Yachiru had the greatest poker face.

"I've never seen anybody naked, except myself."

When Orihime passed by the Thirteenth Division's lieutenants making out in a corner, it occured to her that someone ought to check on Captain Ukitake. Clearly Kiyone and Sentaro weren't watching him. She snagged Hanataro on her first round of the main floor and he stumbled along behind her in her search.

In one room she found a bunch of people sitting around a round table drinking shots. The Shinigami of the Round Table! In another, marinara wrestling. A few were empty, but one contained a game of strip poker which Yachiru was clearly dominating. One was a bathroom, where Mashiro sat in the full tub fully clothed.

"Are you okay?" Orihime asked.

"I'm fine. Just cleaning some puke off my suit!" she looked pretty cheerful about it, so Orihime went on her way.

"I've never had sex in a tree."

When Hiyori ventured out of the poker game in her underwear to get more booze, she was unsurprised to catch Mayuri and Kisuke deep in conversation about some scientific something or other over the kitchen table.

She kicked the 'fridge shut as hard as she could, and it exploded. Damn nerds.

"I've never been talked down to by Captain Kuchiki."

In cleaning up the debris from the south side of the warehouse for a wrestling match, Love and Rose found Yoruichi in human form, sleeping behind a crate and cuddled up to the Second Division's Captain, who was missing her haori and her hair ties.

They decided to leave them there.

"I've never had sex at all."

Orihime finally found Ukitake leaning over the railing with Shunsui, with Rukia sitting on it next to them. Her little feet were hooked in the bars so she didn't fall over, and she gripped the top of the rail between her legs, so nobody could see up her skirt from below. She was a clever girl.

Nanao and Lisa were sitting on the floor against the wall a few feet behind them with a bottle of champagne, looking somewhat haggard.

"Oh, there you are, Captain! We were looking for you." Orihime assured herself that he looked quite fine. Obviously, the Dynamic Duo had been ditched. Hanataro leaned over the rails next to Rukia.

"Is something wrong?" Ukitake asked kindly, a gentle smile directed at Hanataro, who was looking pretty green.

"Oh no," said Orihime, waving her hands about nervously. "We just passed by your lieutenants and realized they weren't with you."

"Oh. And where are they?"

Shunsui answered: "They are sucking face on that couch over there in the corner. See?" He pointed.

"Ah, I do see. Well, I suppose it's taken them long enough anyway."

There was a squeal and Rukia jumped away from the railing, just as Hanataro managed to vomit all down his kimono. Orihime sighed and went to toss him in the puke tub with Mashiro.

"I've never used whipped cream for anything other than sundaes."

Urahara broke up the strip poker before Hiyori lost her temper, dragging her downstairs to have a drink and dance with him. She kicked him in the face. Ah, just like the old days...

Unfortunately for Nemu, she had only been wearing a plain green one-piece dress, so once she'd lost once that was it. Nemu pulled it back over her head and went out in search of her captain, who might be kind enough to erase the past hour from her memory if she asked nicely and didn't look too inebriated.

Hisagi and Kensei went in the closet to put their clothes back on, only to be caught still in there and still half naked thirty minutes later by Isane.

Satisfied with her winnings, Yachiru hopped off to use them to bribe someone for either candy or alcohol. She was sure Ken-chan would be too messed up by now to notice if she had a sip of wine too.

"I've never nicked anything out of the 4th Division's drug storage."

"Psst. Hey, Captain." Matsumoto nudged him. Just when he'd found the most comfortable corner of carpet, too.

"What?" Toshiro snapped irritably, opening one eye and giving her what he hoped was a satisfactorily icy glare.

"Wake up. You're making it snow over here."

Oh, so he was.

"I've never used the sewer system for dishonorable purposes."

"What's going on in here?" Ichigo said as he stumbled into the smoky back room. A dozen or so weary Shinigami and Vizard sat around a round table full of shot glasses and half-empty bottles.

"We're playing I've Never." hiccuped Komamura.

"Oh?" said Ichigo, looking around again at the flushed faces. "Well, I've never died."