HOW TO BE.....(HEHE JOKE).....EMMETT!

Disclaimer- Gwennii OMCCAEAMCAEMCAMJWH and Clozzer Cake OMEAMC

*OMEAMC(RP)AJB(TL)AF* Do not own any of the Gorgeous Twilight characters or Twilight for that matter, the best writer on the earth Stephenie Meyer does.

MWAHAHAHAHAHAH- MY FOURTH FANFIC MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAH. luv u xx

Set at anytime, but Nessie is not born and Bella is still human.

Chapter 1- Saving Emmett.

EmmettPOV.

I'm going to make a list of what you need to do, to be like me. Edward looked at me, as soon as I (mentally) said this. " Emmett, WHY ON EARTH would anyone want a guide to being like you?"

" Because i'm special, and everyone loves me. Including Bella." Bella skipped over to me and we snogged. Edward had a look of pure shock on his face. " Bella...." He choked out.

" S'alrite babes, I loves you toos." Wow Bella must be high or something. Oh well .

" I have to get outta here." Edward took off, running at 100 miles per hour. Whooooooo! He's gone!

" Bella, get off me, I'm trying to write a guide here." I shoved her off, and she fell to floor with a FUMPH.

" Oh, Emmie, you know ya want me." What is wrong with her, she had Eddie, even if he does't have sex with her, she still loved him. And besides I love my Rosie. "Not right now Bella, I'm busy" She pouted and walked off. Now where was I? Oh yeah. My guide " How To Be Emmett". Hmmmmmm, where shall I start? I KNOW! I should start with when Rosalie saved me. I'll just leave the part about being turned into a vampire.

Saving Emmett.

To become an Emmett, you need to start a fight with a grizzly bear.

And just about when your sposed to die, a gorgeous, sexy babe will come and save you.

When, she runs with you, it will feel like flying with the fairies.

Then you will go to sleep for three days.

And when you wake up, you will be a glorious, big musceled, fit EMMETT!

That's the first step to becoming an Emmett.

Hehehehehe. This book is going to be straight on the best- sellers list. I'm a genius! I'm going to go show my wicked book to Rosie, maybe she'll reward me for it.................